AbdelRahman Murphy – Thirty & Up Treasury Of Imam Al-Ghazli Class 19
AI: Summary ©
The speakers stress the importance of finding one's true happiness and success in life, as it is impossible to count blessings on a particular date or time. They also discuss protecting oneself from forest fires and achieving goals while being willing to put in the work. The speakers emphasize the need to be willing to put in the work and protect oneself from future events.
AI: Summary ©
Bismillah, bismillah walhamdulillah wa salatu was salamu ala
rasulullahi wa ala alihi wa ashabihi ajma'in.
Welcome home everybody.
It's good to see you alhamdulillah Welcome to
our continuation of our reading of The passages
of Imam al-Ghazali rahimahullah Where he talks
about or where Dr. Mustafa Busuai took some
of the key passages from the works of
the imam in order to build out some
thoughtful Reflections for each of us to take
along our path.
And so last week we spoke a little
bit about the reality of How we make
mistakes and how when people make mistakes That
that requires its own kind of patience, right?
We talked about patience in terms of like
enduring with patience when people wrong us, right?
But there's also the type of patience that
you have to have with yourself when you
disappoint yourself And that's part of the growth
process that we have on the path to
Allah, the path to God Almighty Jalla wa
'ala.
So he spoke about how it's really really
important for people to understand that on this
journey Things are not going to be easy,
right?
You're gonna have the desire for example to
get angry You're gonna have the desire to
backbite You're gonna have the desire to do
wrong and those desires to do wrong have
to be met with the virtue of patience
All right, you have to remind yourself that
that action in that moment is not the
right thing to do, right?
And so he mentions that now tonight we're
gonna talk about We're actually gonna cover two
in one night.
You get a doubleheader for Thanksgiving Insha'Allah,
don't talk about Thanksgiving, but we're gonna we're
gonna cover Thanksgiving We're gonna do a little
doubleheader because they work so well together, right?
So there's two that Dr. Mustafa Busuai, he
pulled from the works of Al-Ghazali and
they work so well together.
They're so beautiful together So we're gonna cover
them Insha'Allah one after another.
The first he called about here He talks
about what this is and he titles it
true grace Okay, what does it mean to?
Achieve what is actual grace and he quotes
the Imam.
Imam Al-Ghazali says no understand that every
single good thing and every single pleasure and
every single happiness and Everything that you prefer
in this life All of those things are
called grace are called Nama.
They are blessings favors from Allah subhanahu wa'ta
'ala So when a person experiences anything good,
right?
It could be well, you know when it's
hot in Dallas, it's like the cool breeze
But now as we're experiencing the Arctic tundra
of Dallas winter Right.
It's the warmth when you walk into a
building, okay When you're really hungry, it's that
first bite of food when you're really thirsty
It's that nice cold drink or when you're
really craving something warm It's the first sip
of your coffee or your tea, whatever it
might be even I mean you can go
as far as just Observing something beautiful, you
know, you see something beautiful you witness something
that brings you pleasure that brings you joy
You experience relief or ease it could be
the absence of difficulty.
It could be the presence of something, right?
All of these in our was Ali says
is what we call a nyama a blessing
and the Quran Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala he
challenges us to do something very interesting He
challenges us to count the blessings that we
have He says what into or do nyama
to Allah he laughs or Suha He says
if you try to count the blessing of
Allah, you would be unable to do so
You'd be unable to accomplish that and what's
interesting is that Allah chose the verb to
count something but the The tense of the
word was singular not plural.
So if I said for example like count
the chair What do you do you say?
Okay one I'm done.
But if I said count the chairs The
plural indicates that it's gonna be more challenging
If I said count the single chair, you're
naturally gonna be like that's not much of
a challenge one.
I'm done You've already told me how much
there are how many there are when you
said it in the singular I don't have
to count anymore, right?
But the nature of blessings is that this
ayah this verse in the Quran is telling
us That God is saying that if even
if you try to fully understand what one
blessing is That's a Suha you wouldn't be
able to do it Because you really cannot
appreciate a blessing in totality It's impossible, right?
That's why we say in English.
You don't know what you got till it's
gone You really can't understand the blessing that
you have in the moment that you're experiencing
it The only time you understand how good
the vacation was is when you get home
The only time you understand how good how
delicious that food was is when you don't
have it The only time that you miss
something is when that phase of your life
is over You don't miss it in the
present because you're too preoccupied enjoying or thinking
or even may Allah forgive us critiquing Right,
we criticize the blessings that we have and
then in the absence of those blessings We
start to oh man, it actually wasn't so
bad.
We shouldn't have critiqued it.
So here Imam Ghazali says Every single experience
that you have every single moment that you
have is a blessing from Allah And realizing
that and recognizing that is part of the
responsibility of every person who believes in Allah
You got to walk around the world literally
counting your blessings Now my wife's grandfather one
time, you know, so his wife asked him
like why are you so happy all the
time and You know, she was kind of
like, you know sort of egg him on
to complain like life's not that easy It's
tough and this and that and he would
say even if I spent all of my
time Thanking God for all of the good
things that I had.
I would run out of life Before I
could start the bad things Like I wouldn't
have time if I thanked him for all
the good that I had I would actually
die before I got to the list of
things that I could critique That's how immersed
in blessing we are Alhamdulillah So Imam Ghazali
says know that everything اعلم أن كل خير
ولذة وسعادة بل كل مطلوب ومأثور فإنه يسمى
نعمتا Everything you experience is a blessing Even
he says مطلوب and the thing that you
seek Even though there's a journey.
There's a process.
It's annoying Right, like nobody gets excited to
wait for something But when you wait for
something it makes the receipt the receiving of
that thing that much sweeter If you get
something instantly the gratification is not the same
But when you will bear patiently with something
at the ons at the arrival of that
moment You feel this this name from Allah
Subhanahu wa'ta'ala Okay, he says However The
actual blessing the actual favor like with a
capital F The alif-laam in the beginning
here means that it's the specific one بل
حقيقتي هي السعادة الأخروية He says it is
in in reality True happiness true favor is
when a person has achieved happiness in the
afterlife That is what true happiness is.
So here's Imam Ghazali.
He's again.
He's like a math brain Okay, so he
always pairs like analogy examples logic rhetoric So
he basically says look at your entire life
everything good that you experience happiness joy favor
blessing, right?
but then he says When you really look
at it, there's actually only one Blessing one
real true blessing and that is the afterlife
when you attain paradise when you go to
Jannah may Allah give us all heaven and
he says as a result of that He
says calling anything else happy is a mistake
calling anything else grace or a favor or
happiness is a mistake and The Quran the
hadith are filled with examples where a person
Will be in in heaven in paradise and
they will be asked about Their life on
this earth and they will say I Don't
even recall Like I don't even remember it
You know, the only reference that we'll have
to this life in heaven is that man
there was something similar So the the the
verse of the narration is mentioned about a
person who has like a sweet food a
Nice fruit that's indescribable It's like it's a
it's a fruit of heaven and they take
a bite of it and they say like
I can't I can't quite Put my finger
on it, but there was something like this
in the previous life So the only thing
like the height of happiness in this dunya
is going to be like a very vague
memory in the next life You know how
you remember things like vaguely you remember things
vaguely when they're not critical or important Yeah,
I think we had dinner somewhere It clearly
wasn't that good if you can't remember where
you had it if you had an amazing
meal, you're like 722 Tuesday you you you
mark it.
It's done.
But if it's like something that yeah You
know, it's forgettable.
You know what they say unforgettable like wow,
this is unforgettable You know try describing something
to somebody as forgettable.
It's so hurtful How was that meal?
Oh, it's forgettable, you know, like because you're
trying to indicate you're trying to emphasize that
like Have the love for everything, right?
So in Jenna in paradise by default when
you experience true happiness and Nama Everything else
that you had here becomes forgettable even the
difficulties of Hanala The narration says that there
will be a person that lived their life
in the most difficult circumstances We're talking like
illness Trial poverty like affliction after affliction, you
know, like somebody who is just tripping into
the next trial Stumbling into the next obstacle
the next difficulty and that person will live
their life in that theme and then that
person passes away and Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala
takes that person and just for one moment
just for a Second Allah takes that person
and he places them into paradise and Then
removes them and he asks this person in
the previous life in the dunya.
Did you ever experience any challenge at all?
Did you have anything that was tough and
the person will say well Allahi.
I never experienced a second of difficulty.
I never had a trial in my life
and The opposite the narration continues and says
there will be a person that had every
single joy that you could fathom in this
life Every material happiness that a person could
even imagine and when they pass away Because
of their vice because of their indignance to
Allah they will be placed for one second
in the fire of * They'll be pulled
out and they'll say did you have any
happiness?
They'll say well Allahi I never experienced one
moment of pleasure in my life Meaning what?
Everything in isolation is something but in comparison
it becomes either everything or nothing Because we
exist in relativity We exist by relation.
So when they say Relative to the dunya.
I never had a single moment of difficulty
in my life.
Why because Jannah is so incredible but relative
to The dunya when a person sees the
punishment of hellfire, they'll say there was nothing
worth this There was nothing worth it the
person who gets rewarded says it was all
worth it.
I can't even remember You go traveling you
get delay delay delay after delay and then
you find this actually happened to me yesterday's
panel We were traveling and I got you
know Little little I don't know if any
of you work for like an airlines But
I've traveled a lot over the past 10
years of my life.
I've gotten to executive platinum twice Okay, like
I lost it during kovat and then got
it back.
Okay So, let me tell you a little
trick the moment that you've been sitting on
a plane for 30 minutes and they haven't
Taken you to the to take off to
the runway.
You're not you're probably not taking off.
So yesterday we're sitting there and They're like
just sitting waiting 20 minutes 30 minutes So
my hat I'm like this planes not going
This is weird.
You're just sitting there in silence.
And then the mechanic the pilot goes on
says yeah, the mechanics find a leak I'm
like, I don't want to fly in this
thing There are some words that you just
simply don't want to hear with a vehicle
that you're trusting with your safety One of
them is leak right like oh, don't worry.
They found a leak in the engine So
they're like we're gonna try to fix it
and then the subhanallah look at Allah's plan,
man So then he goes 10 minutes later.
He's like we'll be up in the air
in 15 minutes.
He didn't say inshallah So he's we'll be
on there 15 minutes then 15 minutes later.
He goes.
Oh, you're probably speaking So they replaced they
fixed the part, but then it started leaking
more Which is like, okay now I don't
want to fly with any plane that this
mechanic has ever touched.
Okay?
So Lawrence knows much Allah.
So so they take us off the flight.
We D plane we go I'm the law
we were able to go get some food
and then we go, you know that we
get on the next flight So the trick
is by the way, never wait for the
delayed flight always Immediately call and look up
the next flight if you can and get
on that one different plane different flight.
It's like a different world You go to
that gate no one's upset everyone's ready to
go home like hey, yeah, I'm happy too,
right so hum de la we're able to
get home and The minute that we got
home we landed at DFW and there's like
insane traffic just leaving and I had to
come straight here and teach last night long
night subhanallah Get get to my bed lay
in bed.
And you know, you know, it's crazy as
soon as my head hit the pillow I
forgot about the entire day It's just the
nature of it like we're so impressionable as
humans You know and no one's gonna sit
there Having had dinner laying in their comfortable
bed, you know with their loved ones and
they're gonna be like man today was the
worst Eventually someone's gonna say yeah, it was
but look like you're good.
Now just relax, you know so you've go
through difficulty after difficulty, but then you get
to your destination and The first thing you
do to say hum de la and maybe
it's like the subconscious Maybe it's the human
subconscious that you know tries to erase the
stress that you endured so that you can
actually focus on what's to come So Imam
Ghazali He basically says as soon as you
realize that the akhira is where you need
to be and where you need to focus
the afterlife Is where your focus should be?
He says you'll start to realize that true
happiness is only there and By comparison everything
else will always feel a little bit deficient
right a little bit incomplete and So then
he says it's a mistake or he says
it could be a metaphor He says it
could be metaphor.
What imam a jazz one?
He says this is like calling worldly happiness,
which does not help you in the hereafter
He goes because this is a mistake.
It may well be that grace if Applied
to something true can bring happiness But he
said if a person wants to have accurate
understanding of happiness, they need to reserve that
experience solely for the afterlife You know what?
This means this is basically my was Ali's
way of saying something very he's using a
profound expression to say something Very very direct,
but this is his language.
He's basically saying if you can reserve the
words that you use For their ultimate meaning
you will always give yourself the buffer of
disappointment You you picking up what I'm laying
down if you give yourself if you use
your words carefully about things that are actually
The way that they're meant to be used
you will always save yourself from the harshness
of heartbreak That makes sense if you frame
your world if you think that this world
is meant to be fair Then you will
be very disappointed Right, I remember as a
kid until my dad dad that's unfair he
goes who told you Who told you this
was supposed to be fair who told you
this life was supposed to be fair You
you made the mistake of assuming that this
place was gonna be fair It's not what
it was meant to be Right this I'm
not happy who told you that this place
was supposed to be the place of happiness
Right in fact The Quran is so powerful
in that it tells us that while you
might experience some happiness here, right?
You should never ever You know discount the
fact that you will have blessings and you
will have moments of happiness here The reality
is that this life oftentimes is defined By
the ebbs and flows of your joy and
your sadness Right every time someone experiences something
good They can probably anticipate that by relation
there's gonna be difficulty and every time you
experience difficulty You can probably anticipate that there
will be some relief in the my little
serious for Allah Ta'ala says But if
you would assume that you're gonna have just
constant never-ending joy here Then you're going
to be in for a very rude awakening.
So Imam Ghazali says that he says part
of the reason why you're so Disappointed all
the time is because you keep expecting it
in the wrong place That's the issue Reserve
that word reserve the ultimate form of that
word happiness with a capital H Reserve it
solely for the afterlife Do not assume that
you're gonna stumble into Felicity and peace and
tranquility until the end of your days somehow
somewhere in this life You get a brand
new car.
You will get a flat tire especially in
Texas Especially in Dallas where there's construction everywhere,
right?
You will get a chip in your windshields
from one of those semi trucks You will
you will absolutely you buy a new house.
You will have an issue you do this
You will you buy new shoes.
They will get dirty.
It's the nature of it So to assume
that this provision is now going to bring
you some unending like you will get married
and you will have arguments You will have
children inshallah and you will have nights where
you don't sleep every blessing comes with its
Test and with its pain and with its
torture, right?
I'm not talking about kids and marriage there,
right?
But every blessing right if you've ever looked
at the face of people sitting at discount
tire, they are not happy Right.
They are just sitting there Wondering why me
but they are there in part because they
are maintaining The blessing that Allah has given
them The only place and the only experience
where we will have blessings that will not
have maintenance We will have joy that will
not have an ending is in the after
and this is what Imam Ghazali is saying
He says so if a person understands that
everything that we look forward to is in
fact in the hereafter and They think about
how they can attain that and they Mentally
prepare themselves to behave in a way that
helps them through intermediary He says then they
will start to realize that everything that leads
to happiness is yet a cause for other
happiness So subhanAllah, this is Imam Ghazali now.
He just took us into the matrix.
He said yeah the flat tire Are there
any kids here?
Yeah, the flat tires they suck, right?
Okay, the sickness it's terrible the chip on
your windshield it's annoying the house issue that's
frustrating The fight with your spouse or the
the the kid that you have that's not
listening to you That's really annoying, right?
All these things are annoying, correct?
So they are the reminders of impermanence and
of trial but you know what in those
moments your response To whatever difficulties in front
of you is in fact a gateway to
this ultimate happiness.
Thus You say the phrase alhamdulillah ala kulli
hal So somebody gets sick and they say
alhamdulillah That person is not Happy because of
the sickness.
They are happy because they know their response
to the sickness is bringing them closer to
true happiness They know that if I bear
patiently with this That Allah Ta'ala has
promised me that he'll give me Jannah.
They know this and this is why Thirteen
up is a little bit different so I
can share with you some narrations that are
a little bit strong They're kind of heavy
there was a man who came to the
Prophet I said to Salam and he had
lost his eyesight and He asked the Prophet
I said to Salam.
Yeah, that's all Allah Oh messenger of God
Can you pray for me that God restores
my eyesight?
The Prophet I said to Salam says absolutely
I can But he says to him and
this is so interesting He says absolutely I
can however if you bear patiently with this
affliction Allah promises you paradise and the man
said Don't pray for it Like gives me
goosebumps Because we can't imagine living a life
without the pleasure of sight Unless maybe that
is the test Allah has given you then
you don't have to imagine it We can't
imagine having something taken from us Have you
guys ever seen somebody that's living with a
trial that you don't have and the first
thought you have is how?
How because you're reflecting on your own weakness
not on their strength?
So you're like I could never I could
never So the Prophet I said to Salam
he tells this man, of course, I can
pray to Allah I can make dua for
you specifically that Allah give you your eyesight
back But I want to also inform you
of an other option and that option is
if you bear patiently with this Which again
he's not telling me has to he's saying
if Then Allah will give you paradise and
the man looks at the options and says
I'll take the second How could he do
that?
Because he realized that as painful as it
was it's leading him to true happiness And
we have a lot of narrations like this
We have a lot of examples where the
Prophet I said, so Salam gives The bright
side of the very otherwise Dismal and dark
situation.
So dr.
Mustafa was swayed He says good things can
be called grace, but true grace is eternal
Calling things grace is either than a mistake
or a metaphor since real happiness is only
possible in the hereafter There is a need
to evaluate and explain what we call happiness
or even what we associate happiness with In
this temporary life.
He said happiness is usually defined in terms
of presence here and now Meaning that we
only get happy when something is here you
order something online Try this with kids like
your kids want you to order something you
order for them and then they're not happy
yet Right, so you're like I ordered it.
They're like when is it coming?
You're like inshallah two days.
They're like, oh And you're like that's what
are you sad?
No, I just want it now.
You're like what's coming?
Yeah, but I want it now you say
it's cut it's coming I ordered it trust
me the money's out of my bank It's
on its way, right?
But their understanding is I'm not happy until
it's here.
I want it here and we laugh at
kids, but really we're the same You know,
how many of us get a little bit
antsy just wait for iPhone season Everyone in
corporate America is somehow some way I got
to work remote today Not feeling too well.
Yeah, cuz your iPhones coming you have to
sign for it, right?
Okay, so he says we associate happiness with
here and now it may be associated with
bodily pleasure, which is always short-lived I
Always I always just I always you know
marvel subhanallah one of the scholars He wrote
that the fasting may Allah allow us to
reach Ramadan.
I mean hundred days hundred days The scholars
who wrote they said the fasting of a
person is the most beautiful metaphor For the
the short-term pleasure of this life and
that is that you wait all day hungry
and thirsty and then you have like this
Really short meal and then you're like stuffed
and you can't eat anymore and like you're
like man I just don't want to look
at food anymore You know if you ever
if you've ever been to Red Lobster, right
may Allah protect us The first biscuit is
delicious the second one is pretty good the
third ones All right, the fourth one you're
like I'm sick actually like not physically, but
I'm clinically I have a problem, right?
How have I eaten so many of these
biscuits?
Okay, so the bodily pleasure is short-lived
yesterday Yesterday when we were getting on the
plane I was flying with my family and
we're walking and Last week I flew I
got upgraded to business class.
Okay, mashallah Yesterday we were literally sitting I'm
not joking basically on the toilet Like we
were sitting in row 33, that's the end
of the plane and it smelled like row
33 like I Took my wife's spray and
I sprayed it in the neck of my
hoodie because I was like it smells so
bad It's how long and I remember because
last week I was sitting business class, you
know, and they give you like that hot
towel Thank you, you know Would you like
a drink, you know, and everyone's walking by
you and you're kind of sitting there and
you're like, hmm One day one day you'll
make it, you know Even though you did
nothing to deserve this, but you're like one
day it's like the Hunger Games, you know,
you just get chosen and now all of
a sudden you're just as arrogant fool and
Yesterday I couldn't help but think and I
wasn't just sitting the last row.
I was sitting in the middle I was
sitting in the middle which is miserable for
the person next to me But then I
had to because my son was on my
left and I'm thinking to myself subhanallah The
reality is that Allah took me from you
know seat what to a all the way
to 33 He took me from the the
highest of the high to the lowest of
the low Right and just as quickly as
I enjoyed that seat last week I was
dreading this entire flight this week and that's
the nature of this life Right pleasure is
fleeting.
It comes and it goes and then he
says The very act of buying and hoarding
something may be misconstrued as happiness.
We hold on to things we get new
things They even have a term for a
retail therapy You know, we go shopping because
we think that in shopping.
We'll find something.
We'll find something happy and The very notion
of chasing a life that is loaded with
fun is a futile effort No fun or
activity can be mean maintained forever This is
why people escape into addictions of all kinds
including drugs and alcohol, but not limited, right?
Some people their addictions go into things that
are illegal, but they're still addictions You know,
some people are addicted to purchasing and buying
and some people are addicted to other things
They may not be illegal, but they're still
they still paralyze the soul life entails at
least some seriousness He says meaning you have
to deal with it in comedy The character
moves from a tragic or sad beginning to
a happy ending in tragedy The protagonist begins
with some kind of happy life, but ends
up miserable in both cases The beginning and
the end are in this life You see
in the story of the believer.
There is no such thing as a tragedy
or a comedy that stops here Right Allah
Ta'ala always talks about and those people
who are successful.
He says they'll be successful in the next
life We don't look at someone's status in
this life and deem them as a failure
or a success We don't do that By
the contrary the Quran is filled with examples
of powerful people that were failures and It's
filled with examples of very humble people that
were successful The hadith the companions of the
Prophet peace be upon him One of the
critiques that they had of him early on
peace be upon him was what?
Was the only people who follow you are
poor So the the rich and powerful of
Quraysh when they looked at the new message
of the best of the Prophet I said
to Salam Why is no one rich and
powerful following you?
Well, because no one rich and powerful is
going to willingly enter into a state of
submission Takes a very special type of person
to do that So all of his early
followers most of them were humble and meek
people.
We don't deem that as a failure We
don't even deem that as something beyond that
subhanAllah There is a story of a companion
who was fighting in the Battle of Qadisiyah.
I Mean even before that subhanAllah another story
that comes to mind is the story of
Musab Ibn Umair Musab was known as the
wealthiest person in all of Mecca from the
teenagers I mean he was like from the
social Elite his family was super wealthy when
he accepted Islam when he became Muslim.
He lost everything He used to walk Wearing
clothes that were so long they would drag
behind him Because people in his status could
just buy new clothes So they never had
to worry about like their garments, you know,
like for us if we stain something, you
know There's an entire industry of like tide
pens because we we don't want to buy
a new one, right?
Because we can't afford that right, but he's
like, yeah, I can wear it, you know
once and buy a new one I can
always just buy a new thing.
That's how wealthy they were his clothes were
imported, you know, we say now Oh, the
suit is Italian or this and that He
was getting his clothing from Yemen, which was
known to be like a very like well
Reputed textile center.
So he was getting all types of things
and They said that his fragrance was so
strong like he smelled so nice That you
could smell him.
They didn't use distance.
They use time subhanAllah.
You could smell him from days away All
right, that's the Arabs.
They would be like, you know hyperbolic in
their in their speech So the point being
is he was he was it.
I mean he had it going on.
He had everything then he becomes Muslim and
His family doesn't just kick him out They
don't just say like you're done They actually
tell him subhanAllah.
His uncle says to him leave and as
he's walking out, he goes, where are you
going?
He goes, I'm leaving you told me to
leave.
He said no leave and Take off every
garment you're wearing because those belong to us
So he went from being the wealthiest Teenager
young man in Mecca to walking the streets
of Mecca as a beggar with no clothes
hajji But he still found purpose with the
Prophet.
I said to Salam.
He went to the Prophet.
I said to Salam He became Muslim.
He accepted Islam, right?
This is after he accepted Islam.
Of course, he was already Muslim Then the
Prophet I said to Salam sends him sends
him a head to Medina and he says
you are gonna go as a teenager and
You're gonna go and you're gonna prepare this
new group of people that want to become
Muslim you're gonna teach them He goes ahead
and he does because of him the leaders
of Medina their hearts inclined towards Islam.
They become Muslim They accept Islam.
He passes away Musab.
He passes away in the Battle of Uhud
and When when when a person in a
battle passes away, of course when a person
passes away Otherwise, they are given the keffin
right which is the long sheet Okay that
they wrap their body in this is the
traditional burial the burial shroud but when a
person passes away in the state of battle
the the the The ruling is to leave
them in their garment and not to wash
them like is traditional because they died in
a state of martyrdom Okay, so he passes
away in battle and all they want to
do is they want to cover from his
head to his toes Right, they want to
cover from his head to his toes as
His customary and this is the guy again
who used to have Feet and feet behind
him of cloth So whatever he's wearing they're
like, let's just pull it and cover his
head to his toes But they notice a
problem every time they pull it up his
feet are exposed and every time they pull
it down his head becomes exposed and they
start crying and They said how did he
go?
From being the young man that had too
much cloth to now not having enough to
even cover his body Because he understood what
true happiness was true happiness was being in
a state of Submission to Allah subhanahu wa'ta
'ala not about being in the state of
submission to clothing and to what you have
He gave up everything he had so that
he could be in that state.
That was Musab ibn Umair There's many stories
like this.
So he says The reason why the companions
were so moved by this happy ending was
because why it didn't end in this life
It continued on to the next life He
says it is different when one is conscious
about the hereafter and invest in this life
What shall be reaped in the hereafter in
the form of eternal happiness wealth is acquired
and spent in the way that pleases Allah
Hardships are endured and difficulties are tolerated because
ultimately everything comes from Allah pleasure is in
moderation in ways That please Allah everything is
done with an eye on the next world
where happiness is wholesome and eternal It is
recognizing that grace potentially has two ways in
one's relationship with anybody grace manifests itself by
coming into one's life like knowledge of Allah
and Grace is also imparted by giving this
knowledge to other people This is happiness that
paves its way to true felicity May Allah
give us this and grant us this happiness.
Ameen Ya Rabbil Alameen So this is really
I mean I had another one lined up
But that one is so long that I
don't think we'll be able to do it
So what we'll do tonight inshallah is we'll
go ahead and just go to the Q
&A so if you want slido.com And
then we can send some questions The code
is 30 and up all words and then
we will we'll go ahead and answer some
and we'll break for prayer Inshallah, I don't
know if any of you have been here
since last week But we started our our
renovation project for the for the masala the
main masala So the current masala while the
constructions happening there is going to be in
the middle area the multi-purpose hall They
moved to the carpet and everything you'll recognize
it But just FYI so when you head
over to pray You can just go through
here and it's right in this room inshallah
And then hopefully the construction will be completed
by the end of January To make the
main masala a little bit more fancy inshallah
inshallah, so we're working on that for Ramadan
Okay, bismillah the first question I feel like
I'm failing Allah's tests because I Keep facing
the same situations and end up hurt despite
doing things the right way.
How can I grow from this?
So Failing a test, okay When
Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala sends a test in
somebody's life or an obstacle in somebody's life
The success or the failure of that is
not dictated by the rubric that we have
So like our rubric is very linear So
we see okay, for example, like if I
get the job, I've succeeded if I did
not get the job I failed But assigning
a human rubric and standard to Allah's wisdom
is like really short-sighted and really limiting
You're basically saying that God operates like a
human So and and and Allah is unlike
anything lays the committee.
He say he's unlike anything So we need
to be very careful and this is something
that we've dealt with culturally like in our
community We need to be very careful ever
assigning any sort of knowledge as to why?
Something is happening Our understanding of what is
success or failure is how we respond if
no claim was asked by Somebody like how
do I know that?
I'm how do I know that I'm pleasing
Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala or how do I
know that I'm not pleasing him that I'm
either Succeeding or failing and he responded by
saying how you respond to your tests Because
the tests are universal everybody gets them but
how you respond is the dictate right is
the thing that tells you okay?
I'm either doing this well, or I'm not
doing it.
Well.
How you respond so in a moment for
example of anger like How do you respond
in a moment of?
Providence prosperity on payday right what's today 26
we're getting there, right?
Okay, those two days in the month.
How do you how do you respond?
You know do we continuously spend on ourselves,
or do we invest in true happiness in
the akhira like where's so how do we
respond?
Through moments of prosperity through deprivation through anger
through happiness.
That's the ultimate Answer to your tests and
tests do not only come in the form
of things.
We don't like in Fact well one of
my friends used to call them used to
say we have tests and we have blessed
He said we have tests those are the
ones we don't like but we have blessed
which are the tests that we Are come
in the form of things that we like,
but they're still a test Right you've been
blessed.
Did you know how do you respond to
prosperity to provision?
So to this to this person a lot
of autumn the person is saying that you
know I'm did I'm doing things the right
way That's a really important indication that you're
succeeding You may not be getting the result
that you're looking for right, but as if
not allah He says he says a little
bit manaka foul talker Sometimes Allah withholds from
you and by withholding he gave you But
open my talk at the manaka so and
sometimes Allah gives you and by giving you
he's actually prohibited from you Allah could give
you the job that you're praying for but
in that job.
You've now lost your relationship with your family
Did you really get or did you get
taken away?
You may have gotten what you were praying
for but does that make sense?
Allah may have given you so now Allah
may have held something back from you, right?
But by holding by depriving he actually gave
you He actually gave you something So all
of these things are happening.
We have to be convinced of that.
They're all happening all the time But we
just have to be a little bit more
We'd be better at observing them Right we
have to be willing to see them and
not holding a lot to our rubric to
our grading standard wallahualam How can I grow
from this?
I would say just try to be a
person who takes it one day at a
time You know, sometimes we get a little
bit caught up in frustration because we're looking
at three six ten months or whatever ahead
12 months Ahead, it's not it's not gonna
lead to anything happy.
Somebody yesterday was asking me here She's like,
how do I know and there was a
lot of like what ifs and this and
that I said just relax Take a one
day at a time one day at a
time All right.
Today's Tuesday.
Tomorrow's Wednesday.
Bismillah.
Just start fresh Right the Prophet.
He said you want to hear something?
That's gonna make you feel so good Whenever
I get really overwhelmed, I remind myself of
this hadith the Prophet.
I said to Salam He said for anybody
who wakes up and has a roof over
their head Right.
They have Iman in their heart They have
a roof over their head and they have
a pantry with food in it or something
to eat He said they have the dunya
and everything in it Like you are you
are blessed beyond belief.
You are taken care of you have everything
you need and The reality is that we
become very critical of our situation because we
are looking too far ahead just look today
You have a place to sleep.
Yes, you have some food to eat.
Alhamdulillah Did you go to sleep with the
Iman in your heart?
Alhamdulillah.
Okay, you're good.
You are good tomorrow Wake up.
Check the same three boxes.
If you have them, you're good, and we'll
keep the cycle going All right, don't get
caught up in the in the weeds Wallah
Struggling with dealing with parents feel like I'm
growing older as I'm growing older Everything is
becoming an argument even when I try my
best to compromise any advice have to be
patient And I'll make it easy.
It's not easy for it's not easy for
anybody in this equation It's not easy for
the parents or the children.
It's difficult for everybody I think being patient
and also being willing being willing to Choose
which battles are really critical to fight?
I was just you know, I was just
telling somebody the other day That like as
I've sort of transcended because I'm almost 37
So as I've transcended from being a 20s
now like getting closer to 40.
Wow, that's crazy Still hooping though if I
as I get closer to my 40s Hamdulillah
Hamdulillah.
I already lost two ACLs.
So nobody just relax Everyone say mashallah.
Okay, so I Was talking to somebody and
they were like asking basically the same question
They were like, you know How do you
deal with like aging parents and getting older
with your parents?
And I told them that my brother actually
my older brother gave me like the best
advice.
He said that Just remind yourself that even
though it's tough at the end of the
day.
They're getting old That's kind of all he
said.
He's a smart guy.
My brother's like look up there man.
I know it's tough, but they're getting old
And he's like dot dot dot so basically
what's in between the lines there is like
just suck it up man It's kind of
what he told me and I'm like, you
know, and that and that's for the more
general cases I'm not gonna talk about the
exceptions where there's actual issues and that's different
right?
Don't don't misapply advice Don't take Tylenol when
you have you know a shattered like hip
like that's not gonna fix it You gotta
go to the ER so people come in
they're like, but my hip is shattered.
I'm like well Tylenol works for almost everybody
else But you need to go see a
doctor, right?
So Your situation is a Tylenol situation.
The advice is just ask yourself.
Okay.
Am I able to just Be patient and
deal with it.
Okay Allah in the Quran He talks about
how he created us in a state of
weakness and then we became strong and then
we became weak again So we're all gonna
have our own right?
How many of you are not having good
sleep raise your hand Yeah, how many of
you need a lot more sleep now than
you did when you were 20 raise your
hand Yeah, this is you like this is
you And you know what like the reality
is dude The other night my kids wouldn't
go to sleep and I was like go
to sleep and they're like why and I
was like, I'm tired I can only sleep
when you sleep, you know, you're tired.
I'm like, I'm tired like you're older than
us I'm like, that's the point You know,
so we all have our own our own
old moments our own own old modalities and
we're all old to somebody All right, so
we just got to be merciful All right,
I'll be merciful to them just like, you
know, they were merciful to me when I
was a kid, right?
So may Allah make it easy I'm sorry,
if that wasn't really the answer you're looking
for but that's all I can say How
can couples effectively navigate a marriage when there
are in different spiritual journeys?
Good question How can they support each other's
growth and still be connected?
It all goes back to first principles I
mean you really have to go back to
the basics and the foundation of it, you
know any marriage the success really any relationship,
but since we're talking about marriage any marriage
is contingent upon compatibility and part of how
we define compatibility is People who share goals
they share goals with one another and so
if your goals are the same It doesn't
matter if you have different tastes and music
and movies and food and clothes and all
that All that stuff is irrelevant If you
have the same goal with regards to your
faith regards to relation with Allah Then all
the other things that we think make us
compatible are actually not compatible Like there could
be two people that have everything compatible culture
language food clothing everything but their religious goals
are different and that marriage is not gonna
work and then on the contrary you could
have people and I've met them that like
don't even speak the same language really and
Because they have the same goal they figure
out a way to make it work so
it goes back to the foundation like what
is your understanding of success as an individual
and do we share this and Then it
goes to you.
Okay, what's the method?
How do we achieve this goal?
So do do I want my goal in
life to be to please Allah subhana wa
ta'ala?
Yes.
Okay.
Well, how do I do that?
Well practicing Islam right being devoted etc to
what degree okay And those are the this
is where like the premarital counseling comes in
now This person is already married.
So this is where you might want to
have a third party facilitate this Conversation so
try to have those conversations and I would
say my biggest advice in marriage is don't
assume anything Don't assume just have conversations Right
at the risk of sounding silly right ask
questions.
That's otherwise might feel fairly obvious But don't
be offensive, of course, right?
I mean, who are you anyway, but you
know, hey, let's talk about who we are
Who are we, you know and go through
it male.
I'll give you two feet inshallah and and
try to do acts of worship together You
know date nights.
Yes, absolutely all those things.
What do they say date night every two
weeks?
Weekend every year vacation every two whatever all
that stuff, you know, it's all just you
know secular math But what I would say
on top of all that is whatever whatever
cadence you have for these things make sure
you have some level of Acts of worship
together.
It could be something like going to Joma
together Going to the masjid once a week
together Right and just spending time get some
coffee on the way get some ice cream
on the way back Whatever, but try to
integrate that into your relationship.
May Allah accept your barakah inshallah What's the
name of the airline that had the leak?
It was an airline that is American Husband
passed away from cancer two months ago.
Allah have mercy.
We have two small kids.
I know this is a test I'm still
praying but I'm not focused.
How do I improve my salah?
the fact that you're praying is amazing You
know, I think that The first thing that
comes to my mind is don't be too
hard on yourself You know the Prophet I
saw so said I'm he used to find
No, he used to find prayer as he
described it.
He would find it as the coolness of
his eyes Which can mean a couple different
things in Arabic it would mean like relief
but also you could think about it as
being like When a person experiences the heat
of the day and they kind of wash
their face, right?
So I would say as long as you're
still connected to prayer even if you're not
achieving the level of focus that you Had
or expect yourself to have there's no reason
for you to be critical, right?
The fact that you're aware how a lot
of this is a test and this is
something that nobody expects and nobody thinks about
Everybody in this room is probably feeling heartbroken,
but nobody expects that this is gonna happen
to them And Allah Ta'ala test those
who he loves so I would say That
you are someone who Allah Ta'ala dearly
loves I would say focus on staying connected
to Allah and also maintaining a really important
support system Right friends and family that you
can rely on people that can be there
for you and I think although this test
is unique to you.
I think one thing that I've learned in
my You know my lack of wisdom in
life is that when you get tested you
can't force The realizations to happen you kind
of have to just go again one day
at a time and allow the realizations to
become manifest and so it's difficult in life
to kind of like Peel back and try
to figure out things as opposed to just
trying to move forward You know, there's an
imam in Dallas name is Imam Kashif and
I remember subhanAllah A couple years ago.
It's almost two years now.
I think no, it's two.
It's two and a half years.
Wow That his teenage daughter passed away from
cancer very suddenly and I Remember subhanAllah that
Some of the imams were sitting with him
just kind of spending time with him and
You know, you don't really know what to
say in those scenarios, but I think somebody
asked him like How are you?
Which is a different question than how are
you?
It's like, you know, it's deeper than that
and he said that I didn't think that
I would be alive He said literally the
day of the janazah.
I just thought that I would Go home.
I would go to sleep and that I
would never wake up That that would just
be it for me and He's like, that's
all I that's all I wanted like meaning
like I didn't even feel bad about it.
I just You know, maybe that's it.
I can't I can't live now and he
said that I woke up and I continued
and he goes and I'm here now And
he said somehow some way Allah Ta'ala
gave me something and I'm moving So the
reason I share that story is because that
was a really deep moment for us and
that we saw in front of our Eyes
somebody who's a scholar of religion and he
wasn't quoting the texts Of course he could
but he was more so saying that Allah
Ta'ala provides in really really mysterious ways
for those people that are tested very Difficult
are tested in difficult ways.
So may Allah Ta'ala give you strength
But I think that don't be hard on
yourself.
Don't expect too much do what you can
May Allah Ta'ala give you strength and
may Allah Ta'ala accept from you.
May he magnify and increase your good.
I mean How can we listen to people
who are venting to us without backbiting is
Acknowledging that they were wronged or being an
active listener also backbiting.
It depends I think the big question is
is this session constructive or destructive?
Like are we are we going somewhere with
this?
Are we just like are we just lighting
the place on fire and watching it burn?
And even sometimes you have to burn for
heat like you can't fires are more productive
than Like forest fires.
So the reality is that yes, there is
a space for people to talk about their
frustrations But I would say there are some
conditions.
Of course.
Number one is that You should try to
encourage the person to not divulge every detail
Or there's no need for that They don't
need to tell you what day what time
this and this and this number two is
that so to keep it relatively Relatively, they
keep the conversation relatively flat.
Okay, the topography is not like up and
down.
It's just okay They can even try to
keep it anonymous as much as possible If
they can if Those two are not exactly
doable then they should keep it limited and
short meaning.
This should not be a three-hour session
You know, you can probably get your venting
done in a good 20 30 minutes go
have some ice cream call it a day
Okay, and the fourth thing is that you
should always end the conversation with constructive resolutions
like What do you want to achieve from
this?
If it's well, I just want to talk
about them then that's not really constructive But
if it's I want to better understand how
I can how I can respond in these
situations Or I want to learn how to
protect myself from this happening again That's constructive
Right, but if it just finishes and you're
like, yeah, that's crazy Yeah, that's crazy.
That's messed up and you just find yourself
repeating like that's crazy over and over again.
That's crazy Then then you're you're venturing off
now into the land of no purpose and
that's not good.
That's crazy Okay If
you have like specific fit questions for you,
I wouldn't ask them here I would ask
them to a sheikh that you trust Mmm,
okay, please explain I'll do that one later.
No There's like asking like the thesis statement
questions Could you
talk about why we make dua for Palestine
if their victory and death is already written
What effect do we have?
I'm struggling to make passionate dua Good question.
So there's a hadith.
I believe it's on Jabir or a deal
Iran where one time he asked the Prophet
I said to Salami said if Allah knows
everything and if everything is decreed then why
do we do anything?
He actually asked him this and the Prophet
I said to Salam he said to him
Believe and act he said just continue acting
and the wisdom in this subhanallah is that
It's a deep conversation But the wisdom and
understanding why we do what we do is
because we do believe that Allah subhanaw Taala
has given us the ability to affect change
We believe that part of God's decree is
that if we do certain things changes happen
right, and so we understand that while we
are not in control of the outcome we
are contributors to the outcome and the ultimate
test of what we will or will not
do is Dictated by how we behave and
how we act so look whether or not
something happens or doesn't happen is not ultimately
dependent upon you But whether or not you
were involved in the victory or in the
salvation or in the success of something is
your choice, right how many fundraisers for a
relief a GoFundMe Took place and they that
you saw them you scrolled they met their
goal and you forgot to donate Like the
goal was met.
They got what they needed, but you missed
out So that's kind of how we have
to understand these things Allah ta'ala will
achieve every cause Right a lot on the
Quran.
He says everything that he Wants to accomplish
will be accomplished.
The only question mark is whether or not
you or I will be enough Guided enough
and blessed enough to be a part of
that And on the Day of Judgment Allah
ta'ala will not ask any one of
us.
Did you liberate Palestine?
But he will say what did you do?
When you saw these things happening Did you
at least pray did you give sadaqa did
you give your zakat did you support Right
because there were people a lot of people
talk about Salahuddin as being the liberator But
there was a century of people before him
that witnessed the oppression the slaughter and the
transgression that kept their hopes high and that
ultimately led to what we now know as
the Salahuddin al-ayubi Defeat of the Crusaders
and deliberation of Jerusalem in that moment, so
don't ever think that because you're not affecting
any change in you know 14 months that
your effort is is hopeless and purposeless and
You also might be affecting change on a
level that to you looks micro, but to
an individual is absolutely macro right There's our
you know our friend Adam from Gaza who
comes here sometimes to pray with us and
The effect that he's experienced here I know
Dura is here, but you know something as
small as him playing FIFA with a group
of kids here in the back That happiness
that he feels in that moment after losing
his leg in Gaza Someone could say like
what's the point of this?
But when you see a smile on his
face And when you get a text message
saying he wants to play FIFA again, when
can he come?
You realize that you are a part of
his victory his success and If every one
of us can contribute in that way That's
the macro success we're looking for and it
might take time But we just have to
be sincere enough to be willing to put
in the work May Allah give us Tawfiq
and allow us to be those that are
the cause of victory and a part of
that I mean, I mean you're a bit
I mean We're gonna go ahead and end
here inshallah because we have about four minutes
till prayer Again the masala now is right
through those doors.
You'll be right there.
Inshallah There's a will do area right through
those doors as well.
You can go in the bathroom Barakallahu feekum
everybody jazakum allah khairan We'll see everybody inshallah
next week.
Enjoy your time with your family if you're
spending it this This weekend was salamu alaikum
warahmatullahi wabarakatuh