AbdelRahman Murphy – Thirty & Up Treasury Of Imam Al-Ghazli #5

AbdelRahman Murphy
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The importance of good deeds and physical and mental health are emphasized in older individuals, as well as the importance of praying and balancing one's good and sad deeds to increase their devotion. The speaker emphasizes the need for people to have a positive attitude and to be mindful of one's actions to avoid regret and avoid sinning. The importance of protecting oneself from dis buyers and regretting bad behavior is emphasized, as well as the importance of setting boundaries and avoiding musical instruments. The speaker also advises seeking help from friends and avoiding harming things.

AI: Summary ©

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			I
		
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			think we're good. I think we should be
		
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			good, Michelle.
		
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			Okay.
		
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			Okay.
		
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			Welcome home, everybody.
		
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			Welcome back to our Tuesday night
		
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			13 up reading
		
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			from
		
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			the Treasury of El Ghazali,
		
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			which is a book that was compiled by,
		
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			doctor Mustafa Abu Suway, who's originally from Jerusalem.
		
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			May Allah
		
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			relieve the Palestinians of their oppression
		
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			that they're experiencing,
		
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			And he is someone who gathered together,
		
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			a collection of passages from the works of
		
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			Imam Al Azali
		
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			to discuss,
		
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			some of the key points,
		
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			right, out of all the works of this
		
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			great author, this illustrious author,
		
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			to discuss some of the key works
		
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			as to how to build,
		
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			you know, a cogent Islamic
		
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			consciousness,
		
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			spiritual and practical and religious and all of
		
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			the above.
		
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			So we've talked about for the last few,
		
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			4 weeks now,
		
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			different sections. He talked about introspection last week.
		
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			We talked about seeking
		
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			happiness, etcetera.
		
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			And
		
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			now
		
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			this week
		
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			we're discussing
		
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			the 5th chapter,
		
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			which he titles,
		
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			a really, really tough question, which is if
		
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			you pause and think about it, it's obviously
		
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			going to be a challenge. He says the
		
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			title of number 5, chapter 5 is do
		
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			your good deeds outweigh or outnumber your bad
		
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			deeds?
		
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			And he calls this chapter or he he
		
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			names this chapter this because
		
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			Imam Ghazali,
		
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			he writes about
		
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			one of the measurements of deeds that we
		
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			oftentimes overlook.
		
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			So naturally, as a person, when you do
		
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			something,
		
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			we typically measure things quantitatively,
		
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			meaning how many. If we want to know,
		
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			like, how experienced somebody is, we ask them
		
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			how many years have you been doing this.
		
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			Okay. So if we want to see, like,
		
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			whether or not someone's qualified,
		
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			we'll look at their work history typically in
		
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			terms of how long they've been doing something.
		
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			If we want to know, you know, how
		
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			successful somebody is, typically there's a measurement for
		
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			that. Also quantitative.
		
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			So quantity
		
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			typically drives a lot of our understanding
		
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			as to what is something that is
		
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			good or bad, successful or not, and so
		
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			forth.
		
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			Now in the
		
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			spiritual paradigm, in the Islamic paradigm,
		
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			quantity
		
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			is
		
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			a fraction of the importance of quality.
		
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			That is that the amount of something is
		
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			not nearly as important as the substance of
		
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			that thing.
		
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			And this is why when Allah Subhanahu Wa
		
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			Ta'ala, when God Almighty describes
		
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			the day of judgment,
		
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			he talks about not
		
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			counting your deeds.
		
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			Right? When you present your deeds, both good
		
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			and bad, it's not that they'll be counted,
		
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			but that they'll be weighed.
		
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			And the reason why the measurement of weighing
		
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			something is
		
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			more profound than counting is because something can
		
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			have
		
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			a very, very small footprint.
		
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			Like a nugget of gold
		
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			can weigh more than a giant sack of
		
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			feathers.
		
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			And so the substance of the deed, according
		
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			to our religious tradition, is much more important
		
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			than the number of the deed. A person
		
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			can do something over and over and over
		
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			again for years years, but if they lack
		
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			the substance that's required to make that deed
		
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			something that is worthwhile,
		
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			then all of those instances are going to
		
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			measure
		
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			not anywhere close to even one moment of
		
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			sincerity that a person might display.
		
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			So when he says, do your good deeds
		
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			outnumber your bad ones, he's not simply talking
		
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			only in the measurement of numbers,
		
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			but he's saying, do your good deeds outweigh
		
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			your bad deeds?
		
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			And there's a statement actually that Imam Ghazali
		
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			has in another book in which he actually
		
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			asks this question.
		
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			And he says, for the person
		
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			who reaches the age of 40, which if
		
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			you're at this halaqa, that's probably you.
		
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			Okay? Or if it's not, then you're there,
		
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			almost there. If you're not there
		
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			in numerically,
		
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			right, we talked about qualitatively, you're there. Your
		
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			knees are there.
		
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			Okay? Your lower back is there. Your sleep
		
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			needs are there.
		
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			So he says Imam Ghazali says that if
		
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			you're if you reach the age of 40
		
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			and you're good, your portfolio of good does
		
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			not,
		
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			overtake your portfolio of bad in terms of
		
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			spirituality.
		
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			He says,
		
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			then prepare your seat for the fire.
		
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			And it's a really strong statement.
		
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			And we we believe, obviously, that hold on.
		
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			Wait a second. How could this person tell
		
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			someone to get ready for the punishment of
		
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			the * fire? Allah is all forgiving. Allah
		
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			can forgive someone in an instant. We believe
		
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			that's true.
		
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			If a person asks Allah for forgiveness,
		
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			that moment, that sincere moment would be enough
		
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			to wipe out a lifetime of mistakes of
		
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			sins. Of course, we believe this. It's part
		
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			of our theology.
		
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			If you actually don't believe that, then the
		
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			belief of Islam that you have is not
		
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			correct. We believe that Allah can forgive 100
		
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			years of mistakes in one second of sincerity.
		
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			Right? And we need that.
		
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			But here's what he's saying. He's not saying
		
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			that Allah can't forgive, but he's saying what?
		
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			He's saying old habits die hard.
		
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			He's saying that at that point,
		
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			if you haven't gained the perspective to understand
		
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			what kinds of actions and statements and behaviors
		
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			and patterns should be priority for you
		
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			by the age of 40,
		
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			then he says good luck trying to change
		
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			yourself.
		
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			There's a reason why
		
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			when people are, like, pouring concrete,
		
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			they try to shape it and change it
		
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			and flatten it before it dries. Because once
		
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			it dries,
		
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			altering dried concrete is infinitely harder than just
		
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			altering it as it's wet.
		
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			And as your years pile on to one
		
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			another,
		
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			your actions and behaviors and thoughts and the
		
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			parameters under which you operate, they start to
		
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			dry out.
		
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			And the things that you say that you
		
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			once one day will stop doing, it's so
		
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			much more difficult to stop and to start.
		
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			And SubhanAllah,
		
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			Allah even created our bodies physically,
		
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			like metabolically,
		
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			to represent this difficulty in change.
		
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			When you were younger, you could stay awake
		
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			all night
		
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			and go to school the next day and
		
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			function. You could pull an all nighter studying
		
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			for exam.
		
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			You can go take the exam, and you
		
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			could still live your life.
		
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			Now
		
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			if Isha comes in at 10:12,
		
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			it's tough on us.
		
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			Right? You get to a certain point where
		
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			you're like, man, I gotta I gotta move
		
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			north. You know? I can't live this close
		
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			to the equator. Like, Isha's too late.
		
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			When you're younger,
		
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			injuries, you recover,
		
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			you know, you you roll your ankle.
		
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			My daughter actually rolled her ankle last night
		
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			really bad, subhanAllah. Like, we thought it was
		
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			fractured.
		
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			So I ran home after heart work and
		
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			she's in pain. She's a tough
		
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			tough kid. She shows no pain.
		
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			No indication of discomfort usually.
		
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			My son on the other hand,
		
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			the thought of getting injured makes him cry.
		
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			Right? My daughter no. He's tough too, but
		
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			she's really tough. One time, I was like,
		
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			Nuna, you're a tough cookie. She goes, I'm
		
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			not a cookie, but I'm tough. That was
		
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			her response.
		
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			She's really tough, but she was she was
		
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			in pain.
		
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			And
		
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			literally, I mean, the noise when she rolled
		
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			her ankle, there was a crack.
		
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			And so we all thought like, oh goodness.
		
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			So I'm texting,
		
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			you know, the Muslim Ummah. All of your
		
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			parents forcing you to go to medicine, we
		
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			thank you. Us non doctors,
		
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			we thank your parents. It may have been
		
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			traumatic for you but it was helpful for
		
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			us. So,
		
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			you know, I'm texting all these friends of
		
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			mine who are in healthcare and I'm like,
		
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			okay, this and this and that's. And alhamdulillah,
		
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			we were able to get an x-ray and,
		
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			you know, it wasn't fractured. Which
		
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			is a really really bad sprain.
		
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			But she went from last night, I'm not
		
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			joking,
		
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			she's in bed crying and she goes, I'm
		
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			gonna die. I don't wanna die.
		
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			And I'm like, no. I don't think anyone's
		
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			died from a sprained ankle.
		
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			But that was her mental state to now
		
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			we just came from swim class
		
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			and she was in the pool swimming.
		
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			If you roll your ankle at age 5,
		
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			it's only a matter of hours until you're
		
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			doing the backstroke. Like,
		
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			it's just give it a couple minutes. Okay?
		
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			And those rubber band ligaments will come back.
		
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			If you roll your ankle at age 30,
		
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			you're, like, writing retirement letters.
		
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			You're resigning from your position at work. I
		
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			need to take some time physically and emotionally.
		
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			So Allah has created
		
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			an indication spiritually in your physicalness,
		
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			in your physical state. It represents.
		
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			When you're younger, you can change quicker.
		
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			That's why the hadith of those who are
		
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			under the shade of the throne on the
		
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			day of judgment,
		
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			they include
		
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			young people who are attached to Allah.
		
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			Young people who are attached to Allah into
		
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			the house of Allah because those people, those
		
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			young people, in a moment where they could
		
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			decide to go here, there, anywhere, they decide
		
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			to commit themselves to Allah. But there's there's
		
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			there's less
		
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			of
		
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			a mention of the person who's older
		
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			because it's almost like you're forced to go
		
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			that way.
		
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			Right? You're forced to go young people, it's
		
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			actually impressive when you meet a young person
		
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			that's focused on their deen.
		
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			But when you see an older person that's
		
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			focused on their deen, it's just an inevitability,
		
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			but it's still difficult.
		
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			So this question of do your good deeds
		
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			outnumber your bad ones is not is not
		
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			meant to be like a,
		
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			it's not meant to be like a literal
		
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			question. You're not meant to look at it
		
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			and say like, oh, let me count.
		
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			Although that act that exercise can help some
		
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			people. It's a form of journaling, muhasaba.
		
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			But really what this question is indicating is
		
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			when you think about your day and your
		
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			life,
		
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			are you a person who on average
		
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			performs more virtue than you do vice?
		
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			Do your actions tend to incline or direct
		
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			towards what is pleasing to Allah or not?
		
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			If you have to say something, if you
		
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			were to take account of all of your
		
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			words in the day, are most of those
		
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			words pleasing to Allah or are they not?
		
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			That's what this section is about. So let's
		
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			go ahead and read it. And he's gonna
		
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			say, subhanallah, something very interesting.
		
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			He describes
		
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			a person and he says, quote,
		
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			if this person performs an act of obedience
		
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			when this person performs an act of obedience,
		
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			he says,
		
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			he says
		
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			that he this person remembers it.
		
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			Like, they he he,
		
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			or sorry. He, like, preserves it. He, like
		
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			you know, when you put something in a
		
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			glass case.
		
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			So when this person does a good deed,
		
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			he does a good deed and then he,
		
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			like, preserves it and puts in the glass
		
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			case because it's so valuable and he wants
		
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			everyone to notice it and see it. Okay.
		
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			And this person becomes so proud
		
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			of it.
		
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			Yet,
		
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			this person can be reminded of the times
		
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			that they may have sought forgiveness from Allah
		
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			with their tongue,
		
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			meaning they may have repented to Allah or
		
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			glorified Allah at night or during the day,
		
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			100 or even 1000 times. Ready?
		
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			Really virtuous person, really pious person, we agree
		
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			so far.
		
00:12:48 --> 00:12:50
			And then he says, but then this person
		
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			backbites Muslims
		
00:12:52 --> 00:12:53
			throughout the day
		
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			and utters that which displeases Allah.
		
00:12:57 --> 00:12:58
			So
		
00:12:58 --> 00:13:01
			what he's saying here is that if this
		
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			person were to fall in love with the
		
00:13:03 --> 00:13:05
			the numerology of their deeds, they would think,
		
00:13:05 --> 00:13:07
			you know what? I just did a 1,000
		
00:13:07 --> 00:13:09
			tasbih, like, I'm good.
		
00:13:09 --> 00:13:10
			I said, Alhamdulillah,
		
00:13:10 --> 00:13:11
			1,000 times.
		
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			But
		
00:13:13 --> 00:13:15
			the hadith of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa
		
00:13:15 --> 00:13:15
			sallam,
		
00:13:16 --> 00:13:18
			when he one time was teaching
		
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			one of his family members who had mentioned
		
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			something negative
		
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			about another person
		
00:13:25 --> 00:13:27
			said something that was displeasing
		
00:13:27 --> 00:13:28
			about another person.
		
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			He said that if your words that you
		
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			just said that were negative were taken and
		
00:13:34 --> 00:13:35
			placed
		
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			into the bodies of water and the earth
		
00:13:37 --> 00:13:38
			would have corrupted them.
		
00:13:39 --> 00:13:42
			Just those words. It would have corrupted them.
		
00:13:43 --> 00:13:45
			And so, it doesn't matter the body of
		
00:13:45 --> 00:13:47
			work that a person has
		
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			in quantity.
		
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			What matters is
		
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			sometimes the stuff that is really, really heavy
		
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			is unfortunately the stuff that is negative.
		
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			And the stuff that is good is very
		
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			light, and so they don't match when they're
		
00:14:00 --> 00:14:01
			weighed on the scale.
		
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			So he continues
		
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			and he says,
		
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			this person only pays attention
		
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			to the good that they do and they
		
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			forget about all of the damage that they
		
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			cause.
		
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			And they remember
		
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			all the narrations
		
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			that talk about the reward for the good
		
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			deeds but they don't think about all the
		
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			narrations that talk about the consequences
		
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			of the bad deeds.
		
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			He said this person
		
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			is immersed
		
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			in the greatest form of delusion,
		
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			And
		
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			they are this way
		
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			because they have forgotten
		
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			that protecting oneself from disobedience
		
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			is more
		
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			beautiful
		
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			than engaging oneself
		
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			in glorifications of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. This
		
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			is the quote from Al Ghazali, Rahimullah. Now
		
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			Doctor. Mustafa, he comments on this and I
		
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			love reading his commentary.
		
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			This class, by the way, has just become
		
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			like, adult story time.
		
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			I just come and sit here and read
		
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			to you guys. So which is fine by
		
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			me.
		
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			He
		
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			says, is fully aware of the contradiction between
		
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			healthy acts of worship and vice.
		
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			As exam an example is a person who
		
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			repeatedly seeks Allah's forgiveness day night all the
		
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			time yet does not control their tongue when
		
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			it comes to backbiting people.
		
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			People remember their own good deeds and take
		
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			pride in them
		
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			while they, at the same time, have no
		
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			reservations
		
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			about all of the bad behavior that they
		
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			are engaged in.
		
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			This means that people are immersed and filled
		
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			with pride but they have no shame.
		
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			Right? See, Islam, it's very interesting.
		
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			The spiritual,
		
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			imperative that all of us have that Allah
		
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			tells us is that, yes, you should feel
		
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			good about your good deeds.
		
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			When Allah Ta'ala gives you a Niama, you
		
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			should proclaim.
		
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			You should feel proud about your good deeds.
		
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			Right?
		
00:16:00 --> 00:16:03
			The prophet said, if a person is made
		
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			happy by their good and sad by their
		
00:16:05 --> 00:16:06
			bad, then they're a believer.
		
00:16:07 --> 00:16:09
			But that's the key, the balance. You can
		
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			be made happy by your good, but you
		
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			cannot
		
00:16:12 --> 00:16:15
			defer or even completely deny the guilt and
		
00:16:15 --> 00:16:17
			the regret that comes with negative actions.
		
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			Those things balance each other out
		
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			and they serve as fuel and motivation to
		
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			increase
		
00:16:25 --> 00:16:26
			in doing the good.
		
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			Allah's mention of his mercy and his and
		
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			his favor is so great because when a
		
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			person does make a mistake, which happens,
		
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			we all make mistakes. Nobody in this room
		
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			should walk away from any gathering of knowledge
		
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			feeling I have to be perfect. That's not
		
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			what's asked.
		
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			That's not what's demanded ever. What's demanded is
		
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			when you do slip
		
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			to get up,
		
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			to wipe yourself off with toba, and to
		
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			keep going.
		
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			But the easier route, the the route that
		
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			the NEFS wants
		
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			is to just completely ignore
		
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			and disengage
		
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			because the the soul never likes to be
		
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			corrected.
		
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			Never likes to be corrected. Whether the soul,
		
00:17:08 --> 00:17:11
			you know, whether that person is is usually
		
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			pretty honest or not, delusional or not, no
		
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			one likes to be told that you're wrong
		
00:17:16 --> 00:17:18
			even if they know that they truly are.
		
00:17:18 --> 00:17:19
			So he says people
		
00:17:19 --> 00:17:21
			take pride in their good deeds while having
		
00:17:21 --> 00:17:24
			no reservations about their bad behavior. Then he
		
00:17:24 --> 00:17:25
			asked this beautiful question.
		
00:17:25 --> 00:17:28
			He says, if people only thought and they
		
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			asked themselves this question, it would shake them,
		
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			which is how can my tongue
		
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			be used in the remembrance of Allah and
		
00:17:35 --> 00:17:38
			also in something that he hates so much?
		
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			How is it possible that I can use
		
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			this tongue to read Quran or to remember
		
00:17:44 --> 00:17:45
			Allah or make dua, but then I can
		
00:17:45 --> 00:17:47
			also use it to do something that's so
		
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			displeasing to him?
		
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			Which is it reminds me of something my
		
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			mom always said to us growing up, which
		
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			was be careful never to use the blessings
		
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			of Allah in a way that makes him
		
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			upset
		
00:17:58 --> 00:17:59
			because that is grounds.
		
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			And I know that this is going to
		
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			trigger a lot of us because we grew
		
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			up maybe where we were told these things
		
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			and it's not completely true, but think about
		
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			it. That's completely grounds for taking it away.
		
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			It is. As a parent, I can confirm
		
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			this.
		
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			If
		
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			your child takes something that you gave them
		
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			as a privilege
		
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			and they use it in a way that
		
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			is destructive,
		
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			the first thing that you do as a
		
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			parent is you remove that item.
		
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			And you don't remove it because you wanna
		
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			cause them pain. You remove it why? Because
		
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			you wanna reform them.
		
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			Listen. I gave you that toy and you
		
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			just hit your sister with it.
		
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			I need to now teach you without the
		
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			toy in your possession
		
00:18:43 --> 00:18:45
			what it means to be given something
		
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			and what it means to listen when I
		
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			tell you not to do something like that.
		
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			So now translate that example to us.
		
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			You know, we have privileges. Allah is so
		
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			kind. He gives us more than we ever
		
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			deserve. And then at times we stray, we
		
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			use those things against him and then they
		
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			may actually be taken from us. We may
		
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			have like a period of dormancy.
		
00:19:06 --> 00:19:07
			Right. So we're given health
		
00:19:07 --> 00:19:10
			and then we fall away from Allah and
		
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			then we become sick and then we start
		
00:19:11 --> 00:19:12
			making dua again.
		
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			And the cycle then returns us back to
		
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			the original state. Oh, Allah, make me healthy.
		
00:19:17 --> 00:19:19
			I promise I'll never forget you again.
		
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			Allah returns our health to us.
		
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			For a while, we carry on with that
		
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			passion, that devotion, and then the cycle repeats.
		
00:19:26 --> 00:19:28
			This is the nature of the human being.
		
00:19:28 --> 00:19:30
			And the beautiful part is that Allah continues
		
00:19:30 --> 00:19:32
			to forgive as long as we continue to
		
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			come back. But think about the nature of
		
00:19:34 --> 00:19:34
			the person
		
00:19:35 --> 00:19:36
			that cannot
		
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			understand the value of the privilege until it's
		
00:19:38 --> 00:19:39
			taken away.
		
00:19:40 --> 00:19:42
			We call that childish behavior.
		
00:19:43 --> 00:19:45
			Right? May Allah give us that awareness.
		
00:19:45 --> 00:19:48
			So an elite person spiritually,
		
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			elite,
		
00:19:50 --> 00:19:53
			everybody is allowed mistakes, but the elite, the
		
00:19:53 --> 00:19:55
			person who really, really understands
		
00:19:55 --> 00:19:56
			is the person
		
00:19:57 --> 00:19:58
			that is as motivated
		
00:19:59 --> 00:20:02
			to please Allah through gratitude as they are
		
00:20:02 --> 00:20:02
			through regret.
		
00:20:04 --> 00:20:06
			They don't have to be punished every time.
		
00:20:06 --> 00:20:08
			They understand, you know what? I'm in a
		
00:20:08 --> 00:20:10
			good place. I'm not gonna let this good
		
00:20:10 --> 00:20:12
			thing take me to a bad time.
		
00:20:13 --> 00:20:15
			I'm not gonna give myself that. So he
		
00:20:15 --> 00:20:17
			says think about that. The tongue that Allah
		
00:20:17 --> 00:20:20
			has given you, the tongue that Allah has
		
00:20:20 --> 00:20:23
			given you to extol his praises
		
00:20:23 --> 00:20:26
			should never be used in the form of
		
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			hurting
		
00:20:28 --> 00:20:31
			anyone else's dignity and honor by backbiting or
		
00:20:31 --> 00:20:32
			lying or speaking badly.
		
00:20:33 --> 00:20:35
			And then he says this, abstaining from sin
		
00:20:35 --> 00:20:37
			is the priority in the life of every
		
00:20:37 --> 00:20:38
			person.
		
00:20:39 --> 00:20:39
			Takes precedence
		
00:20:40 --> 00:20:41
			over doing any good action.
		
00:20:42 --> 00:20:45
			After the obligations of the 5 prayers, staying
		
00:20:45 --> 00:20:46
			away from sin is actually the obligation.
		
00:20:47 --> 00:20:50
			And the the reason why is because it's
		
00:20:50 --> 00:20:53
			entirely possible for a person to stop sinning.
		
00:20:54 --> 00:20:56
			It's very easy. You just have to not
		
00:20:56 --> 00:20:57
			do it.
		
00:20:57 --> 00:20:59
			You know, very famously, I think I say
		
00:20:59 --> 00:21:00
			this a lot, like, just take a nap.
		
00:21:02 --> 00:21:05
			Just do something else. Like, it's really, really
		
00:21:05 --> 00:21:07
			a lot more simple for a person to
		
00:21:07 --> 00:21:09
			strategize. How can I stay away from sinning
		
00:21:09 --> 00:21:11
			than it is for a person sometimes to,
		
00:21:11 --> 00:21:11
			like,
		
00:21:12 --> 00:21:13
			get the energy and courage to get up
		
00:21:13 --> 00:21:16
			and do something? Like, fasting on Mondays Thursdays
		
00:21:16 --> 00:21:17
			sounds great, but it's tough.
		
00:21:18 --> 00:21:19
			Right? It is.
		
00:21:20 --> 00:21:22
			Because you have to, like, do that. You
		
00:21:22 --> 00:21:23
			have to, like, actually get up and do
		
00:21:23 --> 00:21:26
			it. Like, giving charity is tough. You have
		
00:21:26 --> 00:21:27
			to get up and do it.
		
00:21:27 --> 00:21:30
			You actually have to process the transaction. That's
		
00:21:30 --> 00:21:30
			tough.
		
00:21:31 --> 00:21:33
			But, like, not lying is easy. Just be
		
00:21:33 --> 00:21:34
			quiet.
		
00:21:35 --> 00:21:37
			If if you just close your mouth, then
		
00:21:37 --> 00:21:37
			you won't lie.
		
00:21:38 --> 00:21:40
			Or if in this era, like, if you
		
00:21:40 --> 00:21:41
			also stop your thumbs,
		
00:21:42 --> 00:21:43
			then you won't lie.
		
00:21:43 --> 00:21:46
			Okay? So the priority and the precedence really
		
00:21:46 --> 00:21:47
			for every believer is
		
00:21:47 --> 00:21:49
			before looking at what good things can I
		
00:21:49 --> 00:21:51
			do, what can I pile on, look at
		
00:21:51 --> 00:21:52
			like what can I actually
		
00:21:53 --> 00:21:55
			erase, what can I expunge from my record?
		
00:21:56 --> 00:21:58
			Because we call that in in our common
		
00:21:58 --> 00:21:59
			language, addition by subtraction.
		
00:22:01 --> 00:22:02
			Right? You can try to make more money
		
00:22:02 --> 00:22:04
			by making more money or you can make
		
00:22:04 --> 00:22:06
			more money by not
		
00:22:06 --> 00:22:07
			spending as much.
		
00:22:08 --> 00:22:10
			And if you reduce
		
00:22:10 --> 00:22:12
			cost, you just gave yourself a little raise.
		
00:22:13 --> 00:22:15
			It's the same concept even more beautifully with
		
00:22:15 --> 00:22:15
			spirituality.
		
00:22:16 --> 00:22:18
			I can try my best to try to
		
00:22:18 --> 00:22:21
			become somebody that's so pious all the time
		
00:22:21 --> 00:22:22
			and may Allah bless you if that's your
		
00:22:22 --> 00:22:24
			goal. But
		
00:22:24 --> 00:22:26
			the beginning of that, according to the geniuses,
		
00:22:26 --> 00:22:28
			Imam Ghazali and others, as they say what?
		
00:22:28 --> 00:22:31
			Start with removal instead of addition.
		
00:22:32 --> 00:22:35
			That will give you the strength, the courage,
		
00:22:35 --> 00:22:35
			the consistency
		
00:22:36 --> 00:22:38
			that you're looking for. May Allah make it
		
00:22:38 --> 00:22:39
			easy. And oftentimes,
		
00:22:40 --> 00:22:42
			the the thing that holds us back
		
00:22:42 --> 00:22:43
			from these
		
00:22:43 --> 00:22:45
			habits that we're trying to develop
		
00:22:45 --> 00:22:48
			are in fact the sins that we carry.
		
00:22:48 --> 00:22:50
			So when a person gets rid of those
		
00:22:50 --> 00:22:50
			things,
		
00:22:52 --> 00:22:54
			there's obviously, like, the the concrete,
		
00:22:54 --> 00:22:55
			you know, like, I have more time. I
		
00:22:55 --> 00:22:57
			have more wealth. I have more this. You
		
00:22:57 --> 00:22:58
			know, Imam al Ghazali, one time in his
		
00:22:58 --> 00:23:01
			book in Ihia, he wrote about the vices
		
00:23:01 --> 00:23:02
			of overeating.
		
00:23:03 --> 00:23:04
			It's almost like he saw
		
00:23:05 --> 00:23:08
			Western culture in 2000. But
		
00:23:08 --> 00:23:10
			the vices of overeating, he wrote an entire
		
00:23:11 --> 00:23:14
			section of his book on the problem with
		
00:23:14 --> 00:23:14
			food.
		
00:23:15 --> 00:23:17
			And he talked about, subhanAllah, look at what
		
00:23:17 --> 00:23:19
			he said. He said, overeating
		
00:23:20 --> 00:23:21
			can cause, like, health issues.
		
00:23:22 --> 00:23:24
			And then he he said spiritual stuff too,
		
00:23:24 --> 00:23:25
			but you know what else he said? I
		
00:23:25 --> 00:23:27
			love it. He said, also, you go broke.
		
00:23:28 --> 00:23:30
			He said, when a person eats too much,
		
00:23:30 --> 00:23:31
			you have no more money.
		
00:23:31 --> 00:23:34
			So he said, if you like to make
		
00:23:34 --> 00:23:35
			more money,
		
00:23:35 --> 00:23:37
			then stop spending your money on food.
		
00:23:38 --> 00:23:40
			Our parents were right, man. Just come home
		
00:23:40 --> 00:23:40
			and eat.
		
00:23:42 --> 00:23:43
			You don't got to go out and eat.
		
00:23:43 --> 00:23:44
			Just come home and eat. There's food at
		
00:23:44 --> 00:23:45
			home.
		
00:23:45 --> 00:23:47
			Right? There's food at home. So some of
		
00:23:47 --> 00:23:48
			these practices
		
00:23:49 --> 00:23:51
			are not just practical. They're also spiritually
		
00:23:51 --> 00:23:52
			beneficial.
		
00:23:53 --> 00:23:53
			Okay?
		
00:23:54 --> 00:23:55
			So then he says,
		
00:23:56 --> 00:23:58
			to be truly a person of god consciousness.
		
00:23:58 --> 00:23:59
			What does it mean to be a person
		
00:23:59 --> 00:24:01
			that is truly aware of Allah?
		
00:24:01 --> 00:24:03
			And I love that doctor Mustafa is doing
		
00:24:03 --> 00:24:05
			this because why? Because
		
00:24:06 --> 00:24:08
			a lot of times, spiritual language is very
		
00:24:08 --> 00:24:08
			vague.
		
00:24:09 --> 00:24:11
			You know? Oh, I wanna be a traveler,
		
00:24:11 --> 00:24:11
			a seeker.
		
00:24:12 --> 00:24:13
			What does that mean?
		
00:24:14 --> 00:24:17
			I wanna be this and that. That's good.
		
00:24:17 --> 00:24:18
			It sounds very nice, but what does that
		
00:24:18 --> 00:24:21
			mean practically? So he says, you wanna be
		
00:24:21 --> 00:24:21
			god conscious?
		
00:24:22 --> 00:24:23
			Someone says,
		
00:24:23 --> 00:24:24
			You're like,
		
00:24:25 --> 00:24:27
			Okay. I will. I'll be god conscious. What
		
00:24:27 --> 00:24:29
			does that mean? He says that
		
00:24:29 --> 00:24:31
			the first step of being god conscious is
		
00:24:31 --> 00:24:33
			that you recognize that whatever good you have
		
00:24:33 --> 00:24:36
			performed, it is because of the divine guidance
		
00:24:36 --> 00:24:38
			of Allah and whatever negative things you have
		
00:24:38 --> 00:24:41
			stayed away from. It is because of the
		
00:24:41 --> 00:24:43
			protection of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. That's the
		
00:24:43 --> 00:24:45
			beginning. That's the asl. That's the foundation of
		
00:24:45 --> 00:24:46
			God consciousness.
		
00:24:47 --> 00:24:48
			Whatever good I have
		
00:24:49 --> 00:24:50
			you know, last night I don't know if
		
00:24:50 --> 00:24:52
			he's here. I hope not. Okay. He's not.
		
00:24:52 --> 00:24:53
			Last night,
		
00:24:53 --> 00:24:55
			there was a brother Arturo
		
00:24:56 --> 00:24:58
			who accepted Islam
		
00:24:58 --> 00:25:00
			after 2 years of coming to to heart
		
00:25:00 --> 00:25:00
			work.
		
00:25:01 --> 00:25:03
			And he was like, yeah. And he was
		
00:25:03 --> 00:25:04
			like, you know, smiling and I was like,
		
00:25:04 --> 00:25:06
			dang. It took me 2 years of lectures
		
00:25:06 --> 00:25:07
			to get you.
		
00:25:08 --> 00:25:09
			Like some people, they just you look at
		
00:25:09 --> 00:25:11
			their face and you want to take Shahada?
		
00:25:11 --> 00:25:12
			I'm like, you had to withstand my face
		
00:25:12 --> 00:25:13
			for 2 years.
		
00:25:14 --> 00:25:16
			Like, how bad am I? You know? SubhanAllah.
		
00:25:16 --> 00:25:18
			No. Hidat is from Allah, alhamdulillah. So I
		
00:25:18 --> 00:25:19
			didn't I didn't take it too personally. But
		
00:25:19 --> 00:25:21
			he said he's been coming for 2 years,
		
00:25:21 --> 00:25:23
			2 years. And then last night he's like,
		
00:25:23 --> 00:25:24
			I want to take Shahadah.
		
00:25:26 --> 00:25:27
			So we're sitting in my office
		
00:25:28 --> 00:25:30
			and I'm just asking him, like, explain your
		
00:25:30 --> 00:25:30
			process.
		
00:25:31 --> 00:25:32
			I'm not interrogating.
		
00:25:32 --> 00:25:34
			I'm just curious. Just talk to me a
		
00:25:34 --> 00:25:34
			little bit.
		
00:25:35 --> 00:25:37
			And he starts to say, SubhanAllah. He says,
		
00:25:38 --> 00:25:39
			you know, I was I was born raised
		
00:25:39 --> 00:25:40
			Catholic.
		
00:25:40 --> 00:25:42
			It never really made sense. It never really
		
00:25:42 --> 00:25:42
			clicked to me.
		
00:25:43 --> 00:25:45
			He goes, then I was at work, and
		
00:25:45 --> 00:25:47
			one of my coworkers is Muslima.
		
00:25:48 --> 00:25:50
			And he said, we were talking about religion,
		
00:25:50 --> 00:25:52
			and I asked her about Islam.
		
00:25:52 --> 00:25:55
			And she started explaining Islam to me.
		
00:25:55 --> 00:25:57
			And I know what you're all thinking. It's
		
00:25:57 --> 00:25:58
			not like that.
		
00:25:59 --> 00:26:00
			She started explaining Islam to me
		
00:26:01 --> 00:26:01
			and
		
00:26:02 --> 00:26:04
			it start it it made a lot of
		
00:26:04 --> 00:26:04
			sense.
		
00:26:04 --> 00:26:06
			And then I started asking her questions
		
00:26:07 --> 00:26:08
			and she's like, I don't know I don't
		
00:26:08 --> 00:26:09
			know that much.
		
00:26:09 --> 00:26:11
			Like, I like, I can tell you, like,
		
00:26:11 --> 00:26:13
			you know, this and that, but I can't
		
00:26:13 --> 00:26:14
			tell you all of that, like, the deep
		
00:26:14 --> 00:26:16
			questions. So then he goes, where can I
		
00:26:16 --> 00:26:17
			where can I find out more? And she's
		
00:26:17 --> 00:26:18
			like, well, I go to this thing called
		
00:26:18 --> 00:26:19
			The Roots. You should come. And then that's
		
00:26:19 --> 00:26:20
			when he started
		
00:26:21 --> 00:26:23
			attending. And then he said, and this is
		
00:26:23 --> 00:26:25
			exactly what Doctor. Mustafa says.
		
00:26:26 --> 00:26:28
			I said, so when did you know in
		
00:26:28 --> 00:26:28
			2 years
		
00:26:30 --> 00:26:32
			between interest in Islam to like now I
		
00:26:32 --> 00:26:34
			think I really do believe in this stuff.
		
00:26:35 --> 00:26:38
			And he said, when I started to look
		
00:26:38 --> 00:26:40
			at everything as being from Allah,
		
00:26:41 --> 00:26:42
			I knew that it was time.
		
00:26:44 --> 00:26:45
			And I was like,
		
00:26:45 --> 00:26:47
			I don't even think, like,
		
00:26:48 --> 00:26:50
			I don't even think the majority of the
		
00:26:50 --> 00:26:51
			Ummah can say that that's how they operate.
		
00:26:52 --> 00:26:54
			And this person who doesn't know how to
		
00:26:54 --> 00:26:55
			pray, literally, I was like, you want to
		
00:26:55 --> 00:26:57
			come pray? I'm all good. He's like, I
		
00:26:57 --> 00:26:57
			don't know.
		
00:26:58 --> 00:26:59
			I was like, you only got that excuse
		
00:26:59 --> 00:27:01
			for a while, buddy. I was like, you
		
00:27:01 --> 00:27:02
			gotta lock in. Right?
		
00:27:03 --> 00:27:04
			No, no. He was like, I don't, I
		
00:27:04 --> 00:27:06
			don't know how yet. Right? Doesn't know how
		
00:27:06 --> 00:27:07
			to pray.
		
00:27:08 --> 00:27:09
			Knows no Quran.
		
00:27:10 --> 00:27:12
			Doesn't probably know the difference between a verse,
		
00:27:12 --> 00:27:14
			an ayah and a hadith. Doesn't know, you
		
00:27:14 --> 00:27:16
			know, how many rakah are in maghrib or
		
00:27:16 --> 00:27:18
			fajr. None of this.
		
00:27:19 --> 00:27:21
			And and if you look at his
		
00:27:21 --> 00:27:23
			if you measure his knowledge quantitatively,
		
00:27:24 --> 00:27:27
			you're like, oh, this guy, you know, he's
		
00:27:27 --> 00:27:28
			he's very, very beginner.
		
00:27:29 --> 00:27:31
			But then look at this incredible thing that
		
00:27:31 --> 00:27:31
			he says.
		
00:27:32 --> 00:27:35
			He goes, I would always see Allah in
		
00:27:35 --> 00:27:35
			every moment.
		
00:27:37 --> 00:27:39
			Like, I would like there would be a
		
00:27:39 --> 00:27:41
			nice breeze. And I would just say that's
		
00:27:41 --> 00:27:43
			from Allah. And he goes, I caught myself
		
00:27:43 --> 00:27:44
			saying it to myself.
		
00:27:45 --> 00:27:47
			You know, he's like, I felt crazy.
		
00:27:48 --> 00:27:49
			And I was like, no, I think we're
		
00:27:49 --> 00:27:51
			crazy actually. No, really. We'll lie. I think
		
00:27:51 --> 00:27:52
			we're the crazy ones.
		
00:27:52 --> 00:27:53
			So I think you're normal
		
00:27:54 --> 00:27:55
			because you get it
		
00:27:56 --> 00:27:57
			and you get it so much
		
00:27:58 --> 00:28:01
			that nothing that you see or experience passes
		
00:28:01 --> 00:28:03
			you except that you attribute it to your
		
00:28:03 --> 00:28:03
			creator.
		
00:28:06 --> 00:28:06
			Amazing.
		
00:28:07 --> 00:28:09
			Right? May Allah give us that faith. So
		
00:28:09 --> 00:28:11
			he says to be truly God conscious
		
00:28:12 --> 00:28:13
			means that you recognize
		
00:28:13 --> 00:28:16
			whatever good you have, whatever good you do
		
00:28:16 --> 00:28:18
			is from Allah And it's only from his
		
00:28:18 --> 00:28:19
			guidance and whatever
		
00:28:19 --> 00:28:22
			wrong deed that a person does or that
		
00:28:22 --> 00:28:25
			they avoid, sorry, is because of his protection.
		
00:28:27 --> 00:28:29
			Now he says there are a few problems
		
00:28:29 --> 00:28:31
			associated with doing good or evil.
		
00:28:32 --> 00:28:33
			The first problem
		
00:28:33 --> 00:28:35
			with doing good is that you attribute it
		
00:28:35 --> 00:28:37
			to yourself rather than seeing yourself
		
00:28:38 --> 00:28:40
			as purely the person who was guided to
		
00:28:40 --> 00:28:42
			do good and who carried out the action.
		
00:28:43 --> 00:28:44
			Right? So
		
00:28:45 --> 00:28:47
			a lot of times people stumble over this.
		
00:28:48 --> 00:28:49
			Well, I prayed Fajrut Alhamdulillah.
		
00:28:50 --> 00:28:52
			And then it sounds like the author is
		
00:28:52 --> 00:28:53
			telling you, no, don't take credit. You didn't
		
00:28:53 --> 00:28:55
			do anything. You didn't pray. Allah allowed you
		
00:28:55 --> 00:28:56
			to pray.
		
00:28:56 --> 00:28:58
			It seems a little bit
		
00:28:58 --> 00:28:58
			disparaging,
		
00:28:59 --> 00:29:02
			but think of it this way. How many
		
00:29:02 --> 00:29:04
			people in your life, when you look at
		
00:29:04 --> 00:29:06
			the position that you sit at right now,
		
00:29:07 --> 00:29:09
			what's your life like? How would you define
		
00:29:09 --> 00:29:10
			yourself? What good things
		
00:29:11 --> 00:29:12
			are you constantly
		
00:29:12 --> 00:29:14
			immersed in at this moment?
		
00:29:15 --> 00:29:16
			Your, your, your job,
		
00:29:17 --> 00:29:19
			your position in life, your family. Just start
		
00:29:19 --> 00:29:21
			thinking about your blessings.
		
00:29:22 --> 00:29:22
			And now
		
00:29:23 --> 00:29:24
			think about
		
00:29:24 --> 00:29:26
			how many of those things truly,
		
00:29:26 --> 00:29:28
			and I know I'm not saying this to
		
00:29:28 --> 00:29:30
			be mean, I'm saying this to be honest,
		
00:29:30 --> 00:29:31
			you don't deserve them.
		
00:29:32 --> 00:29:33
			Nothing you did
		
00:29:33 --> 00:29:34
			really
		
00:29:34 --> 00:29:36
			merited you getting those things. It was just
		
00:29:36 --> 00:29:37
			somebody
		
00:29:37 --> 00:29:39
			in your path along your way that opened
		
00:29:39 --> 00:29:40
			a door for you.
		
00:29:40 --> 00:29:42
			Starting with, like, your parents, for example.
		
00:29:43 --> 00:29:44
			Like, you didn't do anything to deserve to
		
00:29:44 --> 00:29:45
			be born.
		
00:29:46 --> 00:29:48
			Right? And and and to be born where
		
00:29:48 --> 00:29:49
			you were born, in the position you were
		
00:29:49 --> 00:29:51
			born, in the situation you were born, with
		
00:29:51 --> 00:29:53
			access to things that you have,
		
00:29:54 --> 00:29:56
			whether it's education, whether it's healthcare, whatever. There's
		
00:29:56 --> 00:29:59
			no difference between you as a baby and
		
00:29:59 --> 00:30:01
			a baby in another place in this country
		
00:30:01 --> 00:30:02
			or on the other side of the world
		
00:30:02 --> 00:30:04
			or wherever that did not have as much
		
00:30:04 --> 00:30:05
			privilege as you.
		
00:30:06 --> 00:30:08
			There's none. There's no difference. You did nothing
		
00:30:08 --> 00:30:10
			to deserve that. Allah gave you that. And
		
00:30:10 --> 00:30:13
			now you just follow that line. Cascade the
		
00:30:13 --> 00:30:14
			blessings down.
		
00:30:15 --> 00:30:18
			Right? What people open those doors for those
		
00:30:18 --> 00:30:18
			people?
		
00:30:19 --> 00:30:21
			Who gave your parents the opportunity?
		
00:30:22 --> 00:30:24
			Your boss who gave you the job, who
		
00:30:24 --> 00:30:26
			gave him that job or her that job?
		
00:30:26 --> 00:30:28
			And then you realize that you are sitting
		
00:30:28 --> 00:30:29
			at the basin
		
00:30:30 --> 00:30:33
			of like millions of tributaries of blessings that
		
00:30:33 --> 00:30:35
			flow down from Allah.
		
00:30:35 --> 00:30:38
			And you're just sitting here with this beautiful
		
00:30:38 --> 00:30:39
			water of blessing. You're like
		
00:30:40 --> 00:30:42
			and you become actually like overwhelmed.
		
00:30:43 --> 00:30:44
			Like what?
		
00:30:46 --> 00:30:47
			I lived in a time and a place
		
00:30:47 --> 00:30:49
			and a situation where I'm the recipient of
		
00:30:49 --> 00:30:50
			all these things,
		
00:30:51 --> 00:30:53
			and I can't explain why?
		
00:30:53 --> 00:30:54
			It just is?
		
00:30:56 --> 00:30:57
			Now all of a sudden,
		
00:30:57 --> 00:30:59
			when your mindset changes
		
00:30:59 --> 00:31:00
			and when you think of it that way,
		
00:31:00 --> 00:31:02
			like, any challenge,
		
00:31:02 --> 00:31:03
			any
		
00:31:03 --> 00:31:04
			temporary
		
00:31:04 --> 00:31:05
			or
		
00:31:05 --> 00:31:08
			micro removal of a blessing or any difficulty
		
00:31:08 --> 00:31:10
			that's introduced in the obstruction or obstacle,
		
00:31:11 --> 00:31:13
			it pales in comparison to the blessings.
		
00:31:14 --> 00:31:15
			It's like sitting in the
		
00:31:16 --> 00:31:18
			in at the base of a beautiful mountain
		
00:31:19 --> 00:31:21
			with this incredible body of water and there's,
		
00:31:21 --> 00:31:24
			like, a tiny little stick floating in it.
		
00:31:24 --> 00:31:25
			You wouldn't even notice it.
		
00:31:25 --> 00:31:27
			You'd be looking at the clear blue,
		
00:31:29 --> 00:31:31
			incredible water that's in front of you.
		
00:31:31 --> 00:31:33
			So he says, don't attribute it to yourself.
		
00:31:34 --> 00:31:35
			Attribute it
		
00:31:36 --> 00:31:38
			to the one who gave it to you.
		
00:31:38 --> 00:31:40
			The other problem he says with only seeing
		
00:31:40 --> 00:31:42
			the good deeds and not the bad ones
		
00:31:44 --> 00:31:44
			is that
		
00:31:45 --> 00:31:46
			you may consider yourself to be in a
		
00:31:46 --> 00:31:47
			better position.
		
00:31:48 --> 00:31:49
			The analogy I like to give is at
		
00:31:49 --> 00:31:51
			the end of the month when your credit
		
00:31:51 --> 00:31:52
			card bill comes in,
		
00:31:52 --> 00:31:55
			payday hits on 15th. Right? And 30th
		
00:31:55 --> 00:31:57
			or the 1st 15th or whatever it is.
		
00:31:57 --> 00:31:59
			So you feel pretty good on the 1st
		
00:31:59 --> 00:31:59
			15th.
		
00:32:00 --> 00:32:02
			You're like, I'm good. We're gonna go out
		
00:32:02 --> 00:32:04
			to eat. We're gonna do DoorDash.
		
00:32:05 --> 00:32:07
			I'm gonna tip extra well. This driver works
		
00:32:07 --> 00:32:08
			hard.
		
00:32:08 --> 00:32:11
			It's hot outside. You take care of yourself.
		
00:32:11 --> 00:32:13
			On payday, you feel good. And then when
		
00:32:13 --> 00:32:14
			the credit card bill hits on the 24th,
		
00:32:14 --> 00:32:16
			you're like, I need serious help.
		
00:32:18 --> 00:32:20
			I need to call in every favor
		
00:32:21 --> 00:32:22
			that I can. How much is this worth?
		
00:32:22 --> 00:32:24
			Can I sell it right now? What's the
		
00:32:24 --> 00:32:26
			marketplace going for this thing?
		
00:32:27 --> 00:32:27
			Right?
		
00:32:27 --> 00:32:29
			At the end of the month, when you
		
00:32:29 --> 00:32:30
			have to balance your accounts,
		
00:32:31 --> 00:32:33
			you don't feel so strong anymore financially.
		
00:32:33 --> 00:32:36
			It's it's unless you're in a really, really
		
00:32:36 --> 00:32:38
			good position. If you are rootsdfw.org/sustain,
		
00:32:39 --> 00:32:40
			we need you to visit
		
00:32:40 --> 00:32:42
			tonight and make that your home page. Okay?
		
00:32:42 --> 00:32:44
			Insha'Allah. If you're in that type of position.
		
00:32:45 --> 00:32:46
			But for most people,
		
00:32:47 --> 00:32:48
			when their
		
00:32:49 --> 00:32:50
			payroll hits their expenses,
		
00:32:51 --> 00:32:53
			the residual that's left over, right,
		
00:32:54 --> 00:32:55
			is is is,
		
00:32:55 --> 00:32:57
			less than inspiring, let's say.
		
00:32:58 --> 00:33:00
			Okay? You feel really strong on payday and
		
00:33:00 --> 00:33:02
			then you feel, you
		
00:33:02 --> 00:33:05
			know, Allah gives you a humble, a slice
		
00:33:05 --> 00:33:06
			of humble pie when you got to pay
		
00:33:06 --> 00:33:08
			off the things that you owe.
		
00:33:09 --> 00:33:11
			Now imagine that being with your good deeds,
		
00:33:11 --> 00:33:13
			right? When you focus only on the good
		
00:33:13 --> 00:33:13
			that you do
		
00:33:14 --> 00:33:16
			and you don't allow yourself to understand that
		
00:33:17 --> 00:33:18
			there is also
		
00:33:18 --> 00:33:20
			the negative consequence of the deeds that I
		
00:33:20 --> 00:33:23
			may do that are not good, the person
		
00:33:23 --> 00:33:25
			feels overly confident in the same way that
		
00:33:25 --> 00:33:28
			they do before they get their credit card
		
00:33:28 --> 00:33:28
			bill.
		
00:33:29 --> 00:33:31
			But imagine now, like the bill that you
		
00:33:31 --> 00:33:33
			get is on the day of judgment.
		
00:33:33 --> 00:33:35
			So the smart person, what they do financially
		
00:33:35 --> 00:33:37
			is they look at their expenses throughout the
		
00:33:37 --> 00:33:38
			month
		
00:33:38 --> 00:33:40
			and they try to make sure, like, I
		
00:33:40 --> 00:33:42
			don't want this to go above a certain
		
00:33:42 --> 00:33:42
			amount.
		
00:33:43 --> 00:33:44
			Because if I wait,
		
00:33:45 --> 00:33:47
			if I wait until the end of the
		
00:33:47 --> 00:33:47
			month,
		
00:33:48 --> 00:33:49
			I may not be in a good position.
		
00:33:51 --> 00:33:52
			It's the same thing with your life. The
		
00:33:52 --> 00:33:55
			smart person makes morakaba, muhazaba
		
00:33:56 --> 00:33:57
			every day.
		
00:33:58 --> 00:33:59
			Because when they
		
00:34:00 --> 00:34:02
			come to the point of death,
		
00:34:03 --> 00:34:04
			there is no more earning
		
00:34:05 --> 00:34:07
			to cover the deaths of sin.
		
00:34:08 --> 00:34:11
			And so you have to be again, not,
		
00:34:12 --> 00:34:13
			it's not meant to be
		
00:34:13 --> 00:34:15
			paralyzing or just, or demoralizing.
		
00:34:16 --> 00:34:17
			That's not the goal.
		
00:34:18 --> 00:34:19
			If a person looks at their sin and
		
00:34:19 --> 00:34:21
			scholars, subhanAllah, they said, if you look at
		
00:34:21 --> 00:34:23
			your sin and you become demoralized,
		
00:34:24 --> 00:34:25
			you
		
00:34:25 --> 00:34:28
			need to remember who Allah is. He's the
		
00:34:28 --> 00:34:30
			most forgiving. You're forgetting that big part of
		
00:34:30 --> 00:34:30
			the equation.
		
00:34:31 --> 00:34:33
			But they say you still need to go
		
00:34:33 --> 00:34:34
			through the process
		
00:34:34 --> 00:34:36
			of balancing your spiritual self
		
00:34:37 --> 00:34:39
			so that you're not surprised on the day
		
00:34:39 --> 00:34:40
			of judgment. May Allah make it good for
		
00:34:40 --> 00:34:42
			us on that day. So he says,
		
00:34:43 --> 00:34:45
			if a person someone's phone is found, hamdulillah.
		
00:34:46 --> 00:34:47
			So if a person
		
00:34:48 --> 00:34:49
			only looks at their good and they don't
		
00:34:49 --> 00:34:51
			look at their evil, then the person can
		
00:34:51 --> 00:34:52
			become overconfident
		
00:34:53 --> 00:34:54
			in the good that they have done.
		
00:34:55 --> 00:34:58
			It does not actually construct the image. This
		
00:34:58 --> 00:35:00
			is the the more important side,
		
00:35:00 --> 00:35:02
			is that they don't actually get a true
		
00:35:02 --> 00:35:04
			indication of who they are.
		
00:35:05 --> 00:35:07
			You know, because the sins and the good
		
00:35:07 --> 00:35:10
			deeds are just really representations of what's in
		
00:35:10 --> 00:35:10
			the heart.
		
00:35:11 --> 00:35:13
			If I only look at the good I
		
00:35:13 --> 00:35:14
			do, I'm going to believe that I'm a
		
00:35:14 --> 00:35:16
			lot better of a person than I really
		
00:35:16 --> 00:35:16
			am.
		
00:35:17 --> 00:35:19
			If I can't come to terms
		
00:35:19 --> 00:35:21
			with the negative things that I do and
		
00:35:21 --> 00:35:22
			say and think,
		
00:35:23 --> 00:35:25
			I'm going to actually feel like I am
		
00:35:25 --> 00:35:26
			much better,
		
00:35:27 --> 00:35:27
			spiritually
		
00:35:27 --> 00:35:29
			healthier than I really am.
		
00:35:30 --> 00:35:32
			Right? You have to be aware of your
		
00:35:32 --> 00:35:33
			good and aware of your flaws
		
00:35:34 --> 00:35:36
			so that you can actually have a true
		
00:35:36 --> 00:35:37
			road map to get to where you want
		
00:35:37 --> 00:35:39
			to go. The hardest part is stepping on
		
00:35:39 --> 00:35:40
			the scale.
		
00:35:40 --> 00:35:42
			The hardest part is coming to terms with
		
00:35:42 --> 00:35:43
			reality.
		
00:35:44 --> 00:35:45
			The problem with doing evil, he says, or
		
00:35:45 --> 00:35:47
			mistakes is not taking responsibility
		
00:35:48 --> 00:35:50
			for them or taking action to correct them.
		
00:35:50 --> 00:35:52
			It's not about not doing them.
		
00:35:53 --> 00:35:54
			Take responsibility
		
00:35:54 --> 00:35:57
			and correct the action. While mistakes are inevitable,
		
00:35:58 --> 00:36:00
			repentance should always be
		
00:36:00 --> 00:36:01
			immediate
		
00:36:01 --> 00:36:04
			and sincere. Now these two qualifications, we know
		
00:36:04 --> 00:36:06
			sincere. Sincere, of course, makes a lot of
		
00:36:06 --> 00:36:08
			sense because you think about it. Nobody likes
		
00:36:08 --> 00:36:10
			to be apologized to informality. Like, no one
		
00:36:10 --> 00:36:11
			like, oh, I'm sorry.
		
00:36:13 --> 00:36:14
			Sorry you feel that way. Sorry that your
		
00:36:14 --> 00:36:16
			feelings got hurt. Right? Those are all insincere
		
00:36:16 --> 00:36:17
			apologies.
		
00:36:17 --> 00:36:19
			A sincere apology is when you take ownership.
		
00:36:19 --> 00:36:21
			I'm sorry. I should not have done that.
		
00:36:21 --> 00:36:23
			It's my fault. I take responsibility.
		
00:36:23 --> 00:36:25
			Right? But the first part is the interesting
		
00:36:25 --> 00:36:26
			part, immediate.
		
00:36:28 --> 00:36:29
			Why is there a recommendation
		
00:36:30 --> 00:36:32
			when you come to terms with your mistakes
		
00:36:32 --> 00:36:33
			to try to
		
00:36:34 --> 00:36:35
			make haste
		
00:36:35 --> 00:36:36
			to rectify?
		
00:36:37 --> 00:36:38
			If you look at it from even the
		
00:36:38 --> 00:36:40
			lens of psychology, right,
		
00:36:41 --> 00:36:42
			behavior and patterns of behavior
		
00:36:43 --> 00:36:45
			only really take hold
		
00:36:45 --> 00:36:48
			when the behavior is not rectified and is
		
00:36:48 --> 00:36:51
			given a chance to sit in the consciousness,
		
00:36:51 --> 00:36:53
			in Islamic psychology, be the heart and the
		
00:36:53 --> 00:36:55
			consciousness of a person's,
		
00:36:56 --> 00:36:56
			existence.
		
00:36:57 --> 00:36:58
			Right?
		
00:36:58 --> 00:37:01
			It's like a stain. That's why Allah uses
		
00:37:01 --> 00:37:02
			the word stain for the heart.
		
00:37:03 --> 00:37:04
			He says that the rust,
		
00:37:05 --> 00:37:07
			Right? If you have a cast iron pan,
		
00:37:07 --> 00:37:09
			I had a friend one time that was
		
00:37:09 --> 00:37:10
			doing a really nice favor for me. He
		
00:37:10 --> 00:37:12
			washed my cast iron pan
		
00:37:13 --> 00:37:14
			and let it dry in the air,
		
00:37:15 --> 00:37:16
			which for those of you, I'm not getting
		
00:37:16 --> 00:37:18
			enough of a reaction. I'm getting like one
		
00:37:18 --> 00:37:19
			reaction, masha'allah, from the brother.
		
00:37:20 --> 00:37:22
			Okay. That's ruining it. Basically, it rusts because
		
00:37:22 --> 00:37:24
			it's not seasoned. It's not covered. It's not
		
00:37:24 --> 00:37:25
			coated.
		
00:37:25 --> 00:37:27
			And so the the the lesson with cast
		
00:37:27 --> 00:37:29
			iron pans is that you rarely should wash
		
00:37:29 --> 00:37:31
			them. And if you do wash them, there's
		
00:37:31 --> 00:37:33
			a certain way and you have to dry
		
00:37:33 --> 00:37:34
			them with heat. So you put them back
		
00:37:34 --> 00:37:36
			on the stove and you turn the stove
		
00:37:36 --> 00:37:37
			on or you rebake it. Right? You bake
		
00:37:37 --> 00:37:39
			in the oven to dry it and season
		
00:37:39 --> 00:37:39
			it.
		
00:37:41 --> 00:37:42
			I'm also thinking about recipes right now, the
		
00:37:42 --> 00:37:43
			cornbread and stuff that I can make cast
		
00:37:43 --> 00:37:44
			iron pan. Okay.
		
00:37:44 --> 00:37:46
			So he he was doing something really nice.
		
00:37:46 --> 00:37:48
			He washed it. He let it dry. And
		
00:37:48 --> 00:37:51
			And then I come home and my cast
		
00:37:51 --> 00:37:53
			iron pan, which is usually like slate or
		
00:37:53 --> 00:37:56
			black, it was orange. It was covered in
		
00:37:56 --> 00:37:59
			rust. And then I had to go through
		
00:37:59 --> 00:38:01
			the process of, you know, derusting it. Covering
		
00:38:01 --> 00:38:04
			it in, like, baking soda and lemon juice
		
00:38:04 --> 00:38:06
			and all citric acid and all this stuff.
		
00:38:07 --> 00:38:08
			And then I just I spent, like, $40
		
00:38:08 --> 00:38:11
			on all these materials to derust it. And
		
00:38:11 --> 00:38:12
			then at the end of the night, I
		
00:38:12 --> 00:38:13
			just bought another one.
		
00:38:14 --> 00:38:15
			Because that's what every person does when they
		
00:38:15 --> 00:38:17
			can't do something. Right?
		
00:38:17 --> 00:38:18
			And
		
00:38:18 --> 00:38:19
			but I'll tell you this.
		
00:38:20 --> 00:38:22
			I learned that night what Allah meant when
		
00:38:22 --> 00:38:23
			he says
		
00:38:26 --> 00:38:27
			I learned.
		
00:38:27 --> 00:38:29
			Maybe my friend ruining my cast iron pan
		
00:38:29 --> 00:38:31
			was just to give me tafsir of that
		
00:38:31 --> 00:38:32
			ayah.
		
00:38:33 --> 00:38:34
			Allah says,
		
00:38:36 --> 00:38:37
			means rust.
		
00:38:38 --> 00:38:39
			On their heart
		
00:38:40 --> 00:38:42
			because of what they used to do.
		
00:38:42 --> 00:38:44
			When Allah describes the effect of a sin
		
00:38:44 --> 00:38:47
			and a sin that's not repented for, he
		
00:38:47 --> 00:38:49
			doesn't describe it in a light way. He
		
00:38:49 --> 00:38:52
			says, it is a rust that penetrates.
		
00:38:52 --> 00:38:55
			And the beautiful thing about that example is
		
00:38:55 --> 00:38:56
			that if you dry
		
00:38:57 --> 00:39:00
			the the moisture quick enough, it won't rust.
		
00:39:01 --> 00:39:03
			If you clean the moisture off, it won't
		
00:39:03 --> 00:39:03
			rust.
		
00:39:04 --> 00:39:06
			Repentance, toba, is that process.
		
00:39:07 --> 00:39:09
			But if you let it sit there,
		
00:39:10 --> 00:39:12
			if you let the effect of the sin
		
00:39:12 --> 00:39:12
			sit
		
00:39:13 --> 00:39:15
			on the heart, on the raw,
		
00:39:15 --> 00:39:17
			unrefined material that is the heart, it will
		
00:39:17 --> 00:39:19
			sit there and it will rust. And it
		
00:39:19 --> 00:39:20
			is so much harder
		
00:39:21 --> 00:39:23
			to get rid of that rust
		
00:39:23 --> 00:39:25
			than it is just to dry it in
		
00:39:25 --> 00:39:26
			the 1st place and to clean it off
		
00:39:26 --> 00:39:29
			in the 1st place. We ask Allah to
		
00:39:29 --> 00:39:29
			give us tafik.
		
00:39:30 --> 00:39:32
			So this is an example like imam Ruzali
		
00:39:32 --> 00:39:34
			says. So what do we take away from
		
00:39:34 --> 00:39:35
			this passage? There are a lot of things,
		
00:39:35 --> 00:39:37
			but the one that doctor Mostafa Abu Sway
		
00:39:37 --> 00:39:40
			really focuses on is understanding not just the
		
00:39:40 --> 00:39:42
			number of deeds, but the quality and the
		
00:39:42 --> 00:39:43
			impact of them.
		
00:39:44 --> 00:39:45
			Not just the number of things you do
		
00:39:45 --> 00:39:47
			but the quality of those things. The weight
		
00:39:47 --> 00:39:48
			and the impact
		
00:39:49 --> 00:39:50
			of those deeds. We ask Allah to make
		
00:39:50 --> 00:39:52
			it easy for us to be able to
		
00:39:52 --> 00:39:54
			practice everything that we've said and heard.
		
00:39:55 --> 00:39:57
			Let's do some q and a, inshallah. Alright.
		
00:39:57 --> 00:39:59
			Number 1. I go to work late and
		
00:39:59 --> 00:40:01
			leave early. Is my income haram?
		
00:40:02 --> 00:40:03
			How do I fix the haram money that
		
00:40:03 --> 00:40:05
			I earned? This is a good question.
		
00:40:05 --> 00:40:08
			Everyone is nervous laughing right now. They're like,
		
00:40:09 --> 00:40:10
			Wow. This is crazy.
		
00:40:10 --> 00:40:12
			Who would ask such a thing?
		
00:40:14 --> 00:40:15
			Okay. Look.
		
00:40:17 --> 00:40:17
			Our lives
		
00:40:19 --> 00:40:21
			our lives are are guided by a concept
		
00:40:21 --> 00:40:22
			called Amanah
		
00:40:23 --> 00:40:24
			Amanah.
		
00:40:25 --> 00:40:26
			You know,
		
00:40:27 --> 00:40:27
			the prophet
		
00:40:28 --> 00:40:30
			said, for the person who has no Amanah,
		
00:40:30 --> 00:40:33
			there is no iman. It's a hadith.
		
00:40:33 --> 00:40:35
			It's a statement. If there's no imanah. Amanah
		
00:40:35 --> 00:40:36
			here means
		
00:40:37 --> 00:40:37
			a responsibility
		
00:40:38 --> 00:40:40
			and a trust. If a person doesn't have
		
00:40:40 --> 00:40:40
			amanah,
		
00:40:41 --> 00:40:43
			there's no iman for that person. There's no
		
00:40:43 --> 00:40:44
			faith.
		
00:40:44 --> 00:40:45
			We operate
		
00:40:46 --> 00:40:48
			this is such a bad callback.
		
00:40:49 --> 00:40:51
			Do you guys remember the Kosher Hot Dog
		
00:40:51 --> 00:40:53
			Company, Hebrew National? I know it's a sore
		
00:40:53 --> 00:40:55
			subject right now. But,
		
00:40:55 --> 00:40:57
			you know, they they their tagline used to
		
00:40:57 --> 00:40:59
			be we we answer to a higher power,
		
00:40:59 --> 00:41:02
			which is genius. Right? It's genius given, like,
		
00:41:02 --> 00:41:04
			that I mean, kosher okay. Never mind. Obviously,
		
00:41:04 --> 00:41:06
			I'm impressed by it. No one else is.
		
00:41:07 --> 00:41:10
			But to borrow that line, like we operate,
		
00:41:11 --> 00:41:12
			we report to something different.
		
00:41:13 --> 00:41:16
			We report to something different. So look,
		
00:41:17 --> 00:41:18
			there's not a, there's not a hard and
		
00:41:18 --> 00:41:20
			fast answer for this. The default answer is
		
00:41:20 --> 00:41:22
			that what's based in your contract, what you
		
00:41:22 --> 00:41:24
			agree to, you have to honor that.
		
00:41:25 --> 00:41:26
			You have to.
		
00:41:26 --> 00:41:27
			Okay.
		
00:41:28 --> 00:41:29
			That's the default answer. If you agree to
		
00:41:29 --> 00:41:32
			something in your contract, that's that's that's an
		
00:41:32 --> 00:41:32
			agreement
		
00:41:34 --> 00:41:35
			and that you signed it. And if you
		
00:41:35 --> 00:41:36
			didn't want it to be that way, you
		
00:41:36 --> 00:41:38
			should have changed something.
		
00:41:38 --> 00:41:40
			Okay? So if you accepted it, you have
		
00:41:40 --> 00:41:42
			if it's a 30 minute lunch, it's a
		
00:41:42 --> 00:41:43
			30 minute lunch. It doesn't matter if everyone
		
00:41:43 --> 00:41:46
			else does it. It doesn't matter if it,
		
00:41:46 --> 00:41:47
			no, you you agreed.
		
00:41:48 --> 00:41:48
			Okay. Now
		
00:41:50 --> 00:41:52
			culturally, I'm aware, right?
		
00:41:52 --> 00:41:53
			I worked in different
		
00:41:54 --> 00:41:56
			professional and corporate settings as well before this.
		
00:41:56 --> 00:41:58
			Like I'm aware that there are some cultures
		
00:41:58 --> 00:42:01
			where people that are your supervisors, people that
		
00:42:01 --> 00:42:01
			are managers,
		
00:42:02 --> 00:42:04
			they allow. There are concessions,
		
00:42:04 --> 00:42:06
			right? We don't start with the concessions. We
		
00:42:06 --> 00:42:08
			start with the default. The default is we
		
00:42:08 --> 00:42:09
			have to honor our contracts.
		
00:42:10 --> 00:42:12
			But there are concessions in a lot of
		
00:42:12 --> 00:42:13
			industries
		
00:42:13 --> 00:42:15
			and in a lot of different companies
		
00:42:15 --> 00:42:17
			that allow for
		
00:42:17 --> 00:42:20
			like, project based work completion as being the
		
00:42:20 --> 00:42:21
			metric for how much you work.
		
00:42:22 --> 00:42:24
			So for example, like there's some doctors that
		
00:42:24 --> 00:42:26
			I know that if they finish rounding on
		
00:42:26 --> 00:42:27
			their patients, they can do their charts at
		
00:42:27 --> 00:42:28
			home.
		
00:42:28 --> 00:42:30
			Right? I've even seen some doctors now checking
		
00:42:30 --> 00:42:31
			in patients from home.
		
00:42:32 --> 00:42:34
			I don't use those doctors
		
00:42:35 --> 00:42:36
			sitting in the waiting room and they're like
		
00:42:36 --> 00:42:37
			watching the game. They're like, Yeah.
		
00:42:38 --> 00:42:39
			Ibuprofen.
		
00:42:39 --> 00:42:40
			No. Right?
		
00:42:41 --> 00:42:43
			But look, if that's the culture, if that's
		
00:42:43 --> 00:42:44
			what's allowed,
		
00:42:45 --> 00:42:46
			then that is what
		
00:42:47 --> 00:42:49
			the people who you're responsible to are allowing,
		
00:42:49 --> 00:42:51
			then that's fine. That's no longer impermissible. The
		
00:42:51 --> 00:42:54
			permissibility, haram, haram, is not dictated by this
		
00:42:55 --> 00:42:56
			universal constant. It's an agreement.
		
00:42:57 --> 00:42:59
			It's an agreement. So if your manager tells
		
00:42:59 --> 00:43:00
			you, hey. You know what? You know, every
		
00:43:00 --> 00:43:02
			every Friday, you can work from home. Even
		
00:43:02 --> 00:43:04
			if you're the only team that can do
		
00:43:04 --> 00:43:04
			that
		
00:43:05 --> 00:43:06
			and everyone else has to stay.
		
00:43:07 --> 00:43:09
			That agreement now, no matter what it says
		
00:43:09 --> 00:43:11
			in your contract, if you get that
		
00:43:11 --> 00:43:11
			concession,
		
00:43:12 --> 00:43:13
			then that means that that is what you
		
00:43:13 --> 00:43:15
			are bound by. Or if they tell you,
		
00:43:15 --> 00:43:17
			you know what, every now and then it's
		
00:43:17 --> 00:43:19
			okay if you want to go home or
		
00:43:19 --> 00:43:21
			do this or take a long lunch. It's,
		
00:43:21 --> 00:43:23
			you know, your manager might tell you things
		
00:43:23 --> 00:43:25
			like this. Hey, you know what? If you're
		
00:43:25 --> 00:43:27
			if you're running late, it's no problem. Just,
		
00:43:27 --> 00:43:28
			just let me know or this and that.
		
00:43:28 --> 00:43:30
			Those are, again, concessions that are built in.
		
00:43:30 --> 00:43:31
			But the default
		
00:43:32 --> 00:43:33
			when it comes to our wealth, when our
		
00:43:33 --> 00:43:35
			income, is that we operate under the premise
		
00:43:35 --> 00:43:36
			of Amana.
		
00:43:37 --> 00:43:38
			It's a sacred trust and,
		
00:43:39 --> 00:43:39
			responsibility.
		
00:43:40 --> 00:43:42
			And the real reason why
		
00:43:42 --> 00:43:45
			is that you don't want to take your
		
00:43:45 --> 00:43:46
			money
		
00:43:46 --> 00:43:47
			that is not permissible
		
00:43:48 --> 00:43:50
			and feed you and your family with it.
		
00:43:51 --> 00:43:53
			It becomes in the eyes of Al Ghazali,
		
00:43:54 --> 00:43:56
			that food becomes as impermissible as pork.
		
00:43:58 --> 00:43:58
			He says
		
00:43:59 --> 00:44:01
			that the person
		
00:44:02 --> 00:44:05
			that does not honor their financial agreements, their
		
00:44:05 --> 00:44:05
			money
		
00:44:06 --> 00:44:09
			to purchase even vegetables and fruit, those food
		
00:44:10 --> 00:44:12
			items become haram for them
		
00:44:12 --> 00:44:14
			because they were purchased with stolen money. You
		
00:44:14 --> 00:44:16
			can't take stolen money and you can't rob
		
00:44:16 --> 00:44:18
			a bank and build a masjid.
		
00:44:19 --> 00:44:20
			It's it's it's that's why that's why it's
		
00:44:20 --> 00:44:22
			really, really important. Okay?
		
00:44:22 --> 00:44:24
			So just remember the imana,
		
00:44:26 --> 00:44:26
			is
		
00:44:27 --> 00:44:28
			a part of what it means to be
		
00:44:28 --> 00:44:29
			a Muslim.
		
00:44:29 --> 00:44:29
			Okay?
		
00:44:30 --> 00:44:32
			And if you have special things for you,
		
00:44:32 --> 00:44:33
			then that's cool.
		
00:44:36 --> 00:44:39
			I've reduced my music consumption and avoided family
		
00:44:39 --> 00:44:39
			parties.
		
00:44:40 --> 00:44:42
			Is it okay to listen to good songs
		
00:44:42 --> 00:44:44
			inspired by Rumi's poetry,
		
00:44:44 --> 00:44:44
			and
		
00:44:45 --> 00:44:47
			and sung by deceased artists?
		
00:44:47 --> 00:44:49
			So may Allah reward you. There's there's a
		
00:44:49 --> 00:44:51
			there's a variety of opinions on the permissibility
		
00:44:51 --> 00:44:52
			of music.
		
00:44:53 --> 00:44:55
			I I would say musical instruments.
		
00:44:55 --> 00:44:56
			You know, like
		
00:44:57 --> 00:44:59
			music itself is is a is a tough
		
00:44:59 --> 00:45:02
			industry to to listen to. But musical instruments,
		
00:45:03 --> 00:45:06
			avoided family parties because of it, I'm assuming.
		
00:45:06 --> 00:45:07
			Is it okay to listen to good songs?
		
00:45:07 --> 00:45:09
			The answer is yes. It's haraul.
		
00:45:10 --> 00:45:12
			Inspired by Rumi's poetry and sung by this
		
00:45:12 --> 00:45:13
			I'm I'm guessing like kawati or or things
		
00:45:13 --> 00:45:14
			like that.
		
00:45:14 --> 00:45:16
			Along those best the opinion that I take
		
00:45:16 --> 00:45:18
			from my teachers is that, yes, it's permissible.
		
00:45:19 --> 00:45:20
			I also think, you know, the opinion that
		
00:45:20 --> 00:45:22
			I take and that I hold with regards
		
00:45:22 --> 00:45:24
			to musical instruments is that, they are not
		
00:45:24 --> 00:45:26
			in and of themselves forbidden. And this is
		
00:45:26 --> 00:45:27
			a question that I asked Sheikh Hakram,
		
00:45:28 --> 00:45:28
			Nadawi,
		
00:45:30 --> 00:45:32
			and I said to him, you know, is
		
00:45:32 --> 00:45:34
			is the musical instrument prohibited?
		
00:45:34 --> 00:45:36
			And he says there's no clear evidence that
		
00:45:36 --> 00:45:38
			prohibits it. But then he said very beautifully,
		
00:45:38 --> 00:45:40
			but who has time to listen to music?
		
00:45:41 --> 00:45:43
			Which is makes sense. That's a good answer.
		
00:45:44 --> 00:45:46
			So I think if a person feels like
		
00:45:46 --> 00:45:47
			music is distracting for them and takes them
		
00:45:47 --> 00:45:49
			away from the remembrance of Allah, then they
		
00:45:49 --> 00:45:51
			should stay away from it. Absolutely. You should
		
00:45:51 --> 00:45:52
			do it with anything.
		
00:45:52 --> 00:45:53
			You know, anything, even if it's permissible. If
		
00:45:53 --> 00:45:55
			it takes you away from Allah's remembrance, you
		
00:45:55 --> 00:45:56
			should stay away from it.
		
00:45:56 --> 00:45:58
			But this is more so, I think, the
		
00:45:58 --> 00:46:00
			question that talks about maybe music that's that's
		
00:46:00 --> 00:46:01
			damaging
		
00:46:01 --> 00:46:04
			things with bad lyrics or that it's performed
		
00:46:04 --> 00:46:04
			in bad places,
		
00:46:05 --> 00:46:08
			or that has bad overtones and undertones to
		
00:46:08 --> 00:46:08
			it.
		
00:46:10 --> 00:46:13
			I moved to Dallas for the Muslim community.
		
00:46:13 --> 00:46:14
			I recently found my place here at Roots.
		
00:46:14 --> 00:46:16
			Now Allah has willed for us to move,
		
00:46:16 --> 00:46:18
			plus I'm sad. Oh, I'm and I'm sad.
		
00:46:18 --> 00:46:20
			How can I accept this qadr?
		
00:46:21 --> 00:46:23
			It is tough. It is tough to accept
		
00:46:23 --> 00:46:24
			things that you don't want to accept.
		
00:46:27 --> 00:46:28
			Tonight, we talked about, you know, focusing on
		
00:46:28 --> 00:46:29
			the good,
		
00:46:30 --> 00:46:32
			the reason why you maybe you're you're being
		
00:46:32 --> 00:46:33
			you're moving,
		
00:46:33 --> 00:46:36
			really taking those things in. Also, the temporary
		
00:46:36 --> 00:46:38
			nature of this life is that nothing is
		
00:46:38 --> 00:46:38
			permanent.
		
00:46:39 --> 00:46:40
			A person I've I recently
		
00:46:41 --> 00:46:43
			met somebody who moved back to Dallas after
		
00:46:43 --> 00:46:45
			leaving for a few years. So if if
		
00:46:45 --> 00:46:46
			a person's goal is to be somewhere and
		
00:46:46 --> 00:46:47
			listen,
		
00:46:48 --> 00:46:50
			to a certain, you know, you know, gathering
		
00:46:50 --> 00:46:52
			or or school of thought, etcetera, then they
		
00:46:52 --> 00:46:53
			wanna come back, then maybe Allah will bring
		
00:46:53 --> 00:46:55
			a person back and Allah knows best. I
		
00:46:55 --> 00:46:57
			mean, just try to focus on the positives
		
00:46:57 --> 00:46:59
			as much as you can and and and
		
00:46:59 --> 00:47:00
			take it, inshallah,
		
00:47:00 --> 00:47:02
			as best as you can. And obviously, time
		
00:47:02 --> 00:47:03
			is,
		
00:47:03 --> 00:47:05
			time is is the healer of of most
		
00:47:05 --> 00:47:06
			things.
		
00:47:09 --> 00:47:11
			Can I cut ties with my in laws?
		
00:47:11 --> 00:47:11
			Oh, boy.
		
00:47:13 --> 00:47:15
			Who slandered oh, who
		
00:47:15 --> 00:47:16
			slandered me,
		
00:47:18 --> 00:47:21
			who slandered me, I'm guessing, after my husband's
		
00:47:21 --> 00:47:23
			death. Their actions have led me to seek
		
00:47:23 --> 00:47:25
			therapy. I have not done it with a
		
00:47:25 --> 00:47:27
			Muslim therapist. So cut ties.
		
00:47:27 --> 00:47:28
			So
		
00:47:30 --> 00:47:32
			in Islam, a person is allowed to make
		
00:47:32 --> 00:47:32
			boundaries.
		
00:47:34 --> 00:47:37
			There's no cutting ties with any Muslim,
		
00:47:37 --> 00:47:40
			meaning that the what it means is that
		
00:47:40 --> 00:47:42
			the the bare minimum tie that we have
		
00:47:42 --> 00:47:44
			to have with every believer is the salaam.
		
00:47:45 --> 00:47:47
			You cannot exist in a world where you
		
00:47:47 --> 00:47:49
			don't say salaam to another Muslim.
		
00:47:49 --> 00:47:51
			As as painful as it is,
		
00:47:52 --> 00:47:54
			as painful as those people are. And
		
00:47:55 --> 00:47:57
			and take it, okay, take it this way.
		
00:47:57 --> 00:47:59
			Instead of being like, no, it's not fair,
		
00:47:59 --> 00:48:01
			this the greeting
		
00:48:01 --> 00:48:03
			that Allah has commanded you to give is
		
00:48:03 --> 00:48:05
			more important than your feelings in that moment.
		
00:48:05 --> 00:48:07
			It doesn't matter how much somebody has hurt
		
00:48:07 --> 00:48:10
			you, and that's the true definition of submission.
		
00:48:11 --> 00:48:13
			Right? It doesn't matter how much this person
		
00:48:13 --> 00:48:15
			has hurt me. I'm gonna wish them salaam
		
00:48:15 --> 00:48:17
			because this is one of the commands of
		
00:48:17 --> 00:48:18
			Allah and his messenger is that I have
		
00:48:18 --> 00:48:20
			to give salaam to a person that believes.
		
00:48:21 --> 00:48:21
			Right?
		
00:48:22 --> 00:48:24
			So cutting off, I don't like that language
		
00:48:24 --> 00:48:26
			because the implication of it is like, you're
		
00:48:26 --> 00:48:27
			dead to me.
		
00:48:29 --> 00:48:31
			So at the very minimum, salaam.
		
00:48:32 --> 00:48:33
			Salam is the requirement.
		
00:48:34 --> 00:48:35
			But boundaries,
		
00:48:35 --> 00:48:37
			without a doubt, you're allowed to have boundaries.
		
00:48:37 --> 00:48:39
			Without a doubt, if a person is is
		
00:48:39 --> 00:48:41
			But I wouldn't establish those boundaries based on
		
00:48:41 --> 00:48:42
			your own assessment.
		
00:48:43 --> 00:48:44
			You need to have other people that that
		
00:48:44 --> 00:48:46
			that you consult with. Otherwise,
		
00:48:47 --> 00:48:49
			to you, everyone's toxic. Everyone's a problem.
		
00:48:49 --> 00:48:52
			No. Maybe you are also contributing to the
		
00:48:52 --> 00:48:55
			toxicity. It's important to go to an arbitrator
		
00:48:55 --> 00:48:56
			or a therapist or somebody that can help
		
00:48:56 --> 00:48:59
			give you perspective. Or a really good friend
		
00:48:59 --> 00:49:01
			that can tell you like, Hey. Maybe you're
		
00:49:01 --> 00:49:02
			actually part of the problem.
		
00:49:03 --> 00:49:04
			And maybe you can change your behavior in
		
00:49:04 --> 00:49:06
			this way and that might rectify certain things.
		
00:49:06 --> 00:49:08
			Again, it's not it's not fun.
		
00:49:08 --> 00:49:10
			It's not fun being advised.
		
00:49:10 --> 00:49:12
			But if you really want to grow and
		
00:49:12 --> 00:49:13
			get better, that's that's the cost.
		
00:49:14 --> 00:49:15
			Right? That's the cost that a person has
		
00:49:15 --> 00:49:17
			to go through. But boundaries are something that
		
00:49:17 --> 00:49:19
			are there. I would do it in consultation
		
00:49:19 --> 00:49:20
			with people that love you and that can
		
00:49:20 --> 00:49:21
			give you advice.
		
00:49:23 --> 00:49:25
			What does it mean when a Muslim guy
		
00:49:25 --> 00:49:26
			tells you that there's no spark upon the
		
00:49:26 --> 00:49:27
			first time meeting?
		
00:49:28 --> 00:49:30
			Meeting for the intention of marriage. May Allah
		
00:49:30 --> 00:49:31
			make it easy. This is a challenge.
		
00:49:32 --> 00:49:33
			I mean, generally speaking,
		
00:49:35 --> 00:49:35
			I don't,
		
00:49:37 --> 00:49:38
			yeah. We could have, like, a whole session
		
00:49:38 --> 00:49:40
			on on these questions, but
		
00:49:42 --> 00:49:43
			I think just
		
00:49:43 --> 00:49:44
			just take what people tell you.
		
00:49:45 --> 00:49:46
			Don't overthink it.
		
00:49:47 --> 00:49:47
			You know,
		
00:49:48 --> 00:49:50
			hold your head high. Be dignified.
		
00:49:50 --> 00:49:52
			If a person tells you no spark, be
		
00:49:52 --> 00:49:53
			like, I didn't even want to spark with
		
00:49:53 --> 00:49:54
			you.
		
00:49:55 --> 00:49:57
			Just I mean, like, just walk away. You
		
00:49:57 --> 00:49:59
			can't fire me. I quit. Like, just
		
00:49:59 --> 00:50:01
			carry that energy. Okay? If it doesn't work
		
00:50:01 --> 00:50:02
			out.
		
00:50:03 --> 00:50:03
			Okay?
		
00:50:04 --> 00:50:05
			Wasn't meant to be.
		
00:50:07 --> 00:50:07
			Right?
		
00:50:11 --> 00:50:13
			I think just let people like, don't overthink
		
00:50:13 --> 00:50:15
			it. If somebody tells you, like, you know,
		
00:50:16 --> 00:50:17
			unless they're being
		
00:50:17 --> 00:50:18
			purposely confusing,
		
00:50:19 --> 00:50:20
			then you can say, you know what? I
		
00:50:20 --> 00:50:22
			don't this is wrong. Like,
		
00:50:22 --> 00:50:24
			stop stop stop giving me one story on
		
00:50:24 --> 00:50:26
			Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and one story on
		
00:50:26 --> 00:50:26
			Tuesdays, Thursdays.
		
00:50:27 --> 00:50:28
			Right? And call them
		
00:50:29 --> 00:50:31
			out. Right? Both sides, by the way, everybody.
		
00:50:31 --> 00:50:33
			I'm feeling a lot of energy right now.
		
00:50:33 --> 00:50:34
			Okay?
		
00:50:34 --> 00:50:36
			But I think everyone should just, you know,
		
00:50:36 --> 00:50:37
			be dignified,
		
00:50:37 --> 00:50:39
			be honorable, be be cordial.
		
00:50:39 --> 00:50:41
			And if somebody says to you, like, you
		
00:50:41 --> 00:50:42
			know, I'm not really feeling it or, you
		
00:50:42 --> 00:50:44
			know, I really I I appreciate the conversation,
		
00:50:44 --> 00:50:45
			but I don't really see a future. Just
		
00:50:45 --> 00:50:47
			say, yeah. You know what? Me either.
		
00:50:48 --> 00:50:50
			May Allah give you what's best and keep
		
00:50:50 --> 00:50:51
			me in your duas.
		
00:50:52 --> 00:50:54
			Not those duas though. The last 10 night
		
00:50:54 --> 00:50:56
			duas. I saw a really funny meme. They
		
00:50:56 --> 00:50:58
			were like, What person did you waste your
		
00:50:58 --> 00:51:00
			last 10 night duas on this year?
		
00:51:03 --> 00:51:05
			Okay. Here, this one. Last one. I try
		
00:51:05 --> 00:51:07
			to avoid backbiting and slander. However, if you're
		
00:51:07 --> 00:51:08
			feeling wrong by somebody, is it okay to
		
00:51:08 --> 00:51:10
			vent to somebody close to you to avoid
		
00:51:10 --> 00:51:13
			the backbiting and slander? Yes. This question is
		
00:51:13 --> 00:51:13
			important.
		
00:51:14 --> 00:51:14
			Is there
		
00:51:15 --> 00:51:17
			a space for a person
		
00:51:17 --> 00:51:19
			to share experiences,
		
00:51:20 --> 00:51:21
			to talk about things
		
00:51:22 --> 00:51:23
			in a in in an effort
		
00:51:24 --> 00:51:24
			to
		
00:51:25 --> 00:51:26
			be constructive?
		
00:51:26 --> 00:51:27
			Yes. Yes.
		
00:51:28 --> 00:51:30
			Backbiting, the goal is destruction.
		
00:51:31 --> 00:51:34
			Right? Backbiting, the goal is destruction. I'm saying
		
00:51:34 --> 00:51:36
			this. I'm trying to destroy this prayer. I'm
		
00:51:36 --> 00:51:37
			doing this, this, this, this. I don't wanna
		
00:51:37 --> 00:51:39
			accomplish anything. I just wanna destroy.
		
00:51:40 --> 00:51:42
			Seeking advice might include
		
00:51:43 --> 00:51:45
			you talking about something that happened.
		
00:51:46 --> 00:51:47
			Now what are the protocols?
		
00:51:48 --> 00:51:50
			As much as possible, keep it anonymous.
		
00:51:51 --> 00:51:53
			Okay. If it requires
		
00:51:53 --> 00:51:54
			identification,
		
00:51:54 --> 00:51:57
			then as much as possible, give excuses.
		
00:51:58 --> 00:52:00
			If it if there are few excuses to
		
00:52:00 --> 00:52:03
			give an identification necessary, then as much as
		
00:52:03 --> 00:52:03
			possible,
		
00:52:03 --> 00:52:05
			keep the details
		
00:52:05 --> 00:52:06
			as general as possible.
		
00:52:07 --> 00:52:09
			You still the reason why is because
		
00:52:10 --> 00:52:12
			you wanna preserve the dignity of this person.
		
00:52:12 --> 00:52:14
			One of my teachers said something very strong.
		
00:52:14 --> 00:52:16
			He said, when you, when you talk to
		
00:52:16 --> 00:52:17
			somebody
		
00:52:17 --> 00:52:20
			in an effort to seek advice and counsel
		
00:52:20 --> 00:52:20
			about a situation,
		
00:52:21 --> 00:52:23
			remember that you might forgive the person that
		
00:52:23 --> 00:52:25
			you're asking about, but that person's not going
		
00:52:25 --> 00:52:26
			to forgive them.
		
00:52:27 --> 00:52:30
			And especially spouses in here, remember this.
		
00:52:30 --> 00:52:32
			You might tell your spouse about somebody
		
00:52:32 --> 00:52:34
			that is really bothering
		
00:52:34 --> 00:52:36
			you and out of love for you or
		
00:52:36 --> 00:52:38
			parents too, by the way, siblings, parents, everybody,
		
00:52:38 --> 00:52:40
			family. Out of love for you, they've sworn
		
00:52:40 --> 00:52:42
			that person as an enemy now for the
		
00:52:42 --> 00:52:43
			rest of their lives.
		
00:52:43 --> 00:52:45
			A year later, you're like good friends with
		
00:52:45 --> 00:52:46
			this person. And they're like, I hate this
		
00:52:46 --> 00:52:47
			person
		
00:52:47 --> 00:52:49
			because they've never forgot because they don't have
		
00:52:49 --> 00:52:50
			that relationship that you have.
		
00:52:51 --> 00:52:52
			So you can't,
		
00:52:53 --> 00:52:55
			for the terminology that our era is used
		
00:52:55 --> 00:52:57
			to, you can't trauma dump on somebody and
		
00:52:57 --> 00:52:59
			expect that person not to take on secondary
		
00:53:00 --> 00:53:00
			effects of that.
		
00:53:01 --> 00:53:03
			So protect the dignity of the person that
		
00:53:03 --> 00:53:04
			you're talking about
		
00:53:04 --> 00:53:07
			by if as anonymous as possible, if they
		
00:53:07 --> 00:53:08
			have to be identified,
		
00:53:08 --> 00:53:10
			then try to give them excuses.
		
00:53:10 --> 00:53:13
			And if the action is basically definitive, it's
		
00:53:13 --> 00:53:15
			not speculative, like it is what it is
		
00:53:15 --> 00:53:16
			and they are who they are, then try
		
00:53:16 --> 00:53:18
			to get try to keep it as vague
		
00:53:18 --> 00:53:19
			as possible. You don't have to give all
		
00:53:19 --> 00:53:20
			the nitty gritty.
		
00:53:20 --> 00:53:22
			Right? And at the end of it all,
		
00:53:22 --> 00:53:24
			the question that needs to be asked is,
		
00:53:24 --> 00:53:26
			was this a constructive conversation or not?
		
00:53:27 --> 00:53:29
			Did we accomplish something by doing this? Was
		
00:53:29 --> 00:53:32
			there any sort of tangible growth, or was
		
00:53:32 --> 00:53:33
			it just us
		
00:53:33 --> 00:53:35
			lighting things on fire and walking away?
		
00:53:36 --> 00:53:37
			That's going to be the distinguishing
		
00:53:38 --> 00:53:40
			factor that makes it something that is,
		
00:53:40 --> 00:53:43
			not allowed versus something that is more, you
		
00:53:43 --> 00:53:45
			know, nasiha oriented and nasiha based.
		
00:53:47 --> 00:53:48
			Everybody.
		
00:53:48 --> 00:53:50
			Has come in, 1 minute ago. So I'm
		
00:53:50 --> 00:53:52
			gonna go ahead and wrap this up. May
		
00:53:52 --> 00:53:54
			Allah accept from us and bless everyone for
		
00:53:54 --> 00:53:56
			attending tonight and give us all the reward
		
00:53:56 --> 00:53:57
			of our attendance here.
		
00:53:59 --> 00:54:00
			If you sat on a chair, we'd really,
		
00:54:00 --> 00:54:02
			really appreciate if you could help us by
		
00:54:02 --> 00:54:04
			folding the chair and putting it upon one
		
00:54:04 --> 00:54:05
			of those dollies that you see. And if
		
00:54:05 --> 00:54:07
			you sat on one of these back jacks,
		
00:54:07 --> 00:54:09
			if you could help us by lining it
		
00:54:09 --> 00:54:10
			up in the front, we'd appreciate
		
00:54:10 --> 00:54:11
			that.
		
00:54:12 --> 00:54:13
			I'm gonna take a couple questions, and then
		
00:54:13 --> 00:54:15
			I have to run to as well because
		
00:54:15 --> 00:54:17
			it's it's an obligation upon me too.