AbdelRahman Murphy – Thirty & Up Treasury Of Imam Al-Ghazli #21
AI: Summary ©
The conversation discusses the negative impact of "has been in touch" on people's sense of worth and importance of forgiveness and legal punishment. It highlights the importance of investing in crops and splitting profits, avoiding harm to others, finding one's own happiness, and balancing life. The speakers stress the need for everyone to avoid dysfunctional family drama and keep ties with family, and emphasize the importance of finding one's own happiness and balancing life.
AI: Summary ©
Okay, assalamu alaikum bismillah, bismillah walhamdulillah, wassalatu wassalamu
ala rasulillahi wa ala adihi wa ashabihi ajma
'in Welcome home everybody.
It's good to see you alhamdulillah Welcome back
to our reading of Imam al-Ghazali's Passages
in which he Well, Dr. Mustafa Abu Sway
extracts and pulls some of the valuable lessons
from his works Today inshallah, we're going to
be covering so for the past couple weeks
we've been talking a little bit about You
know what it means to be a person
that Considers and takes into consideration there the
effect of this life and Investing in this
life for example for the next life so
the idea of you know planting your seeds
in the soil that you have using this
dunya as fertile soil for you to farm
on and Yielding the benefits of that on
The other side of the equation or on
the other side of sort of the the
paradigm here The next passage that dr.
Mustafa pulls is one that is really interesting
He titles it the title he gives is
called shamefully busy Which by the end of
it you'll understand what he's talking about But
what he does is he pulls a passage
from Imam al-Ghazali that addresses What we
might call in our like modern nomenclature self
-righteousness a person that in their pursuit of
piety becomes so obsessed with all of the
things that are vices That in their pursuit
of piety all they talk about is the
vice in the world Do you understand kind
of where we're going here?
So in the pursuit of getting closer to
Allah's power Tata all the person discusses is
how bad this dunya is all the time
and at the beginning when you hear like
that description like a person just Talks about
how bad the vices of the dunya are
you might think to yourself like okay?
That's that's actually like why would that be
a blameworthy trait or a bad trait?
Well, he'll explain why it's a problematic thing
to have On its face you might consider
that to be something that's actually noble But
he actually says it's a weird kind of
obsession and that obsession actually shows something that
is deep beyond the surface so he says
No, right here like KNOW the command like
understand That Reaching Zuhud and we'll define Zuhud
inshallah on the basis reaching Zuhud is a
special rank If you want to be somebody
that's close to Allah SWT.
It's a special status.
It's not given to everybody right, so there
are different degrees of belief and different degrees
of believers and being a person who has
Zuhud or is a Zahid a person that's
not Attached and contained by all of the
mundane attachments that we form in this world
He said that's not something that everybody can
claim that they have and he says The
way you get there is by perfecting your
righteousness.
That's how you're able to attain that You're
able to work on yourself for a while
until you perfect the path of righteousness He
says the possessor of this state the one
who's able to accomplish this They are is
among those who are drawn near to Allah
SWT So basically if you want to translate
that all to English the people that work
hard on themselves and Attain a certain level
of closeness to Allah They are maybe from
the what we would call the close inner
circle of Allah SWT They've attained a level
they've attained in access to him spiritually which
all shows in their behavior and their action
Right the things that we would describe as
miraculous But for these people those miracles are
actually very normal So if somebody have you
guys ever seen somebody who is able to
like maintain their calm and their decorum in
a situation that would otherwise It would be
very much expected that they would go crazy
But you see somebody that acts miraculous in
a moment where you would have said like
man any human being on earth would have
behaved very normally would have gotten upset angry
would have lashed out and Then you see
this person and they respond in a moment.
That's like Truly miraculous, and I'm reminded of
one of the brothers a few years ago,
there was a video of a brother whose
son was murdered and In the courtroom when
he met the person that murdered his son.
It was like a senseless murder There was
it was not targeted.
It was like a random Act of violence
when he met the person that murdered his
son in the courtroom after the verdict the
guilty verdict was given The father hugs the
person who committed the crime and says I've
forgiven you and We read about this stuff
in books.
We watch this a movie.
We don't see this in real life You
don't see someone walk across That aisle in
the courtroom and forgive the murderer of their
teenage son How much time have you spent
in raising your children?
How much effort how how many sleepless nights
have you had because your kid had a
a fever?
that was a little bit too high and
Now that person is taken away from you
Senselessly and you go across and you shake
the hand and embrace and hug the person
that took their life and say I've forgiven
you For all of us, that's a miracle
But there are certain people that are so
good in their faith so close to Allah
That to them it was never gonna be
anything but that That's what they expect of
themselves Right people who are able to give
charity open-handed people who are able to
forgive people who are able to be patient
Moments where otherwise you're like, I would lose
my mind and how are you able to
maintain the person says it's just is what
it is Right.
It is what it is So he says
there are those From al-muqarrabeen that they
are close to Allah SWT and that it
determines all of their behavior all of their
actions and he says that there is no
doubt then that asceticism is For some people
is considered a shortcoming now This is where
it gets a little bit tricky because we
just talked about being a person of Zohod
Who's not attached to the dunya as a
good trait?
It's good not to care if you do
this with your phone or if you do
this with your phone or if your phone
has a crack in it or if your
car has a scratch in it or if
your new shoes have a scuff or if
your new Shirt has a stain like it's
good not to be internally Spiritually in crisis
mode when these things happen to your material
belongings.
It's a good thing to have You know
to respond to these things with you know,
almost like a mundane sort of not a
big deal, that's good But he says that
there are some people that try so hard
to be ascetic That they have in fact
Proven themselves to be people of shortcomings.
Why?
He says because the one who hates this
world and here he's not talking about the
one who is indifferent He's the one who
hates this world is still preoccupied with it
I'm gonna say that one more time the
one who hates this world is Still preoccupied
by it, right in English.
We have this phrase that we use sometimes
like we give people real estate in our
minds You know, you could talk about something
be like, I don't I don't care about
that person.
Really.
Why do you keep talking about him?
Right.
I hate them.
They don't bother me do they because you
look really bothered Right, so he's saying when
it comes to the dunya there are people
that are claiming Dunya, it's just bad.
I hate it.
It's dumb.
It doesn't affect me But you're clearly affected
by it.
How could all these people have these things?
How could this in this?
Does it affect you or not?
Because on one side you said doesn't affect
you the other side now you can't stop
talking about how bad it is so he
says This is so because the one who
hates this world is preoccupied with it Just
like the one who desires it is also
preoccupied with it So it's interesting.
It's not about necessarily whether you hate or
love it.
It's about what consumes you and to be
preoccupied with something other than Allah is Undoubtedly
going to be an obstacle in your path
to Allah subhana wa ta'ala Like you'll
never be able to have khushu if you
keep focusing on how much you hate the
fact that this masjid has a chandelier Why'd
you look up there's no chandeliers here these
are cheap these are plywood brother, right relax
The idea is sometimes people go to masajid
and they see like some nice decorations are
like I would have been lemon thatic May
Allah protect us from what look at this
waste.
Okay, halas.
It's done.
What are you gonna do?
Take down the chandelier sell it for parts
it's done and They sit and pray and
they get upset.
I was actually subhanallah.
I was at the masjid long time ago
and there was a person I was praying
with and After we prayed he got up
and he left like almost like a statement
Before the imam gave the talk after prayer
he got up like immediately that I'm Saddam
he got up and he like walked out
and But then he sat in the shoe
room.
It was kind of awkward So then like
as we were leaving He's like, did you
not notice?
Did you not see I said see what?
And he said the imam was wearing gold
Can you believe it it's not permissible for
men to wear gold how can you wearing
gold and Our imam at the time You
know, he was Guyanese he had darker skin
tone and so gold looks really good on
dark skin tone ask any daisy girl at
a wedding right like and So but then
I was like, it's possible that it's just
the color of gold and not gold.
Did you ever consider that?
He was like well He shouldn't wear it.
Anyways, because it distracts everybody And he goes
I saw it before prayer and the whole
prayer couldn't stop thinking how can I pray
behind the person's wearing gold I Said you
let your entire prayer be ruined by the
fact that you thought perhaps maybe this person
was wearing some of this forbidden without Processing
through your mind any of the excuses that
are very plausible That it may be it's
just simply a yellowish shiny color for a
watch and it was like a Casio.
That's not gold They don't make gold Casio
watches.
Maybe now they do like a rebrand with
Supreme or something, but never before So the
point being is that this person was trying
to use their outward expression of piety But
it was clear that it was destroying their
inner piety right becoming obsessed we hear stories
all the time people praying in the measure
for sorrow we and Have you guys ever
been next to somebody that's trying to chase
you with their feet?
And so I'm out you're praying and then
they're like connect your toes and then you're
like I'm not really a toe connect kind
of guy, right?
And so you kind of just like a
half centimeter in and then they half centimeter
out What prayer is being performed when you're
so concerned about these types of things?
so you know because Adi is basically saying
that there are people that have done the
really really horrible thing of Convincing themselves that
if they're able to perform piety that it's
actually piety But he says here that look
your obsession with these things is actually a
sign that you have been overtaken It's a
different kind.
It's a really really subtle form of narcissism
and So he says then that this is
always going to be an obstacle between you
and Allah For there is no distance between
you and the Most High Allah subhana wata
'ala Accept that that distance would become an
obstacle for he is closer to you than
your jugular vein Nor does he exist in
a place so that the heavens and the
earth would veil you from him So basically
he's saying how shameful is it for a
person to be veiled from Allah when Allah
Ta'ala is so close You know, it's
like can you see it?
Where right in front of you?
Where the person is blinded when something is
so accessible When Allah Ta'ala says when
I'm not gonna believe him and have little
worried we're closer to you than your jugular
vein, which means what the jugular vein is
right here and It's the it's part of
the life giving a blood vessel system that
we have right the jugular, right?
They talk about that when you go for
someone's jugular It's a euphemism for killing somebody
for ending them go for the jugular Allah
Ta'ala in the Quran tells us he's
closer to us than the very blood vessel
that is part of our life Complex Which
is not a physical closeness, but it means
what you should be able to recognize Allah
in every scenario Just like if you're alive,
you can feel your jugular pumping in every
scenario.
And so he says there is no veil
between you and him except that you are
busy with other things than him and being
busy with yourself and Your lusts and being
busy is being busy with other than him
And as long as you are busy with
yourself and your lust You will always be
veils from Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala and the
one who is busy With self-love is
distracted from Allah the Most High and the
one who also self Deprecates is also distracted
from Allah Ta'ala the Most High because
they are busy with other than Allah So
Imam Ghazali, there are times where he's very
concrete and he goes like flowchart 1, 2,
2A, 2A1, 2A2, 2A1, you know There are
times where you're following a person that is
just in a textbook and then there are
times like today where he just unplugs and
he starts writing like almost like free association
and He's really trying to convey a point,
but it's so beautifully Articulated that sometimes we
need to read it step back and distill
it down So dr.
Mustafa he says about this.
He says that Everybody is always aware that
Allah Ta'ala is with them Everybody is
aware in knowledge.
They know if you ask anybody who's Muslim,
you know young to old, right?
Is Allah Ta'ala with you?
Does he know what you're doing?
Answer is yes.
Everyone's aware of that It's one of the
initial traits that we learned about Allah subhanahu
wa'ta'ala is that he's the all-knowing
Okay, but he says that we don't always
act this way in practice.
We don't always act this way in practice
We get distracted with mundane things.
We get distracted with our egos He says
what a loss when those who disdain materialism
and those who are obsessed with it are
both busy in this world Any concern that
is not for the sake of Allah Ta
'ala is a veil and that's why asceticism
Which is detaching from this world brings the
servant to Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala Right, there's
a story of a famous Muslim scholar and
Saints a woman named Rabia Adawiya and she
was a person that in an effort to
almost like impress her He she went to
Rabia Adawiya and she basically kept talking about
how bad this dunya is I'll look at
all these people.
They love wealth.
They love money blah blah blah And she
was almost trying to what like spiritually bully
Like put down other people in order to
elevate herself spiritually and Rabia Adawiya.
She's older She said men you sure are
obsessed with the dunya more than these people
that you're claiming are obsessed with the dunya
because you can't stop talking about it and
You find that the Prophet I said to
Salam he wasn't just unperturbed By desires.
He was also unperturbed by other people's desires
You get that He was not bothered by
things that we would normally think people would
want Like somebody would come what was the
claim of the Quraysh stop preaching and we'll
give you money power women, whatever you want
He wasn't bothered by that.
He's like look that's not That's not you're
going the wrong direction That's not what this
is about.
I'm not preaching because I want power status
money.
That's not what this is about So the
Prophet I said to Saddam was very very
undisturbed unperturbed by these very normal human desires,
but you know what else?
He would also witness people Doing things that
were wrong and he wouldn't mention it sometimes
Like have you and I in a state
of like piety Have you and I witnessed
something that was objectively undoubtedly incorrect and Been
able to hold our tongue Not judge Not
even let it bother us Just kind of
let it be we're not talking about like
global crimes and tyranny and oppression.
I'm not talking about that I'm saying like
in mundane interactive stuff Have you been able
to let somebody on a minor scale wrong
you?
and then carry on with your day as
if it never happened or does that stuff
kind of like reverberate inside of you for
the whole day a Texas driver Cuts you
off Right.
What's the response that we have?
You know we can talk about and we
can perseverate all over all these things But
subhanAllah like the reality is that's more of
an indication of who we are Okay, so
Imam Ghazali here is saying that he says
if a person really wants to become a
zahid Not affected by the dunya don't be
affected by either way in Fact the Prophet
Isa was able to identify Almost like wisdoms
from these moments You know the stories that
we hear about There was a man who
one time came to the Prophet Isa and
he told him You know as a as
a business transaction.
He made an investment the Prophet Isa was
handling his investment.
He was a businessman So the man came
and gave the Prophet Isa some crop and
he said you know Invest the crop which
basically in our time is like investing money,
and then growing it and then splitting the
profits right but for them It was like
okay plant this and then whatever comes from
it We'll sell it and split the profits,
or we'll just split the actual harvest okay,
so he goes to the Prophet Isa and
he does this now that year that year
was a bad year for agriculture It was
not good.
It was a drought.
It didn't grow things weren't good Okay So
the man returns and by the way.
He's not Muslim this person this individual is
not a Muslim and He goes to the
Prophet Isa and it's you can understand.
It's known that it was like a drought
It's known so what happens if you invest
and you start hearing news about the markets
being bad and this and that you're like
Oh, God.
I'm part of that.
I'm the market.
You know I'm in the market You know
so the guy who's a farmer who's asking
the Prophet?
To invest his crop is hearing about the
drought is living in the drought.
What do you think he's thinking about?
How's my investment?
How's my investment?
There's no water.
There's no water Then he goes back and
the Prophet Isa Every investment is at risk
right you got to assume the risk you
want to have the profit you got to
assume the risk so he goes to the
Prophet Isa and he grabs him by the
collar like this and He goes do you
have my?
investment Now any logical person first of all
Like don't touch me right any logical person
is like now our model was standing right
here and Ahmad basically reached for his sword
Which is essentially a split second and the
man is one of the headless horsemen Like
that's not a it's funny But it's also
kind of serious because if you go to
the Prophet I said so said I mean
you threaten him Alma is like I don't
know what you're gonna do next you might
have like a a dagger or something So
I'm I was ready the Prophet.
I said so said I'm just looks at
him.
He goes no Like don't he's got the
Prophet so sudden by the collar.
He's pulling him.
He's not being gentle.
He's pulling him He says where is my
investment now hold on you invested it you
assume the risk you knew what this meant
You knew that this could either go for
you or against you and by the way,
it wasn't just you lost who lost Everybody
Everybody lost so what makes you so special
that you can come back now and demand
your investment back You're just like us in
fact the Prophet.
I said, so I'm could told him bro.
You're not even Muslim read the room Like
I'm gonna take care of my community first.
He could have I'm not saying he did
don't quote me Everyone's like wow the Prophet.
No He could have all of these are
possibilities But you're dealing with somebody who doesn't
get perturbed doesn't get rattled and So he
looks at all not he says I'm gonna
put your sword down like put your hand
away and He says go To the to
the stores basically the the warehouses and I
want you to go and get this man
Listen to this He doesn't say get him
his investment Get him his expected profit Give
him his investment plus what he was hoping
to earn Omar is like what he says
go go and get it for him He
goes he gives it to the man the
man leaves Unperturbed not bothered Prophet I said
so Sam doesn't make war on his tribe
Doesn't speak ill about him.
There's no revelation that comes down just Another
narration a man came to the Prophet.
I said so Sam said yeah, that's who
Allah give me money Bedouins man, they're like
from Denton just show up from Bucky's Give
me money.
What what?
What?
Like there's so many layers here He's from
the most noble lineage.
He's elder.
He's senior.
He's respected He's a prophet.
He's in Medina.
These are his people like what are you
thinking?
Sometimes I read all mud and I'm like,
yes Yes, I'm I was like, you know
and the Prophet I said so sometimes just
God goes give me money.
Yeah, that's what Allah Prophet I said so
Sam gives him money He looks at he
goes that's it They said you were generous.
Oh my goodness that's where I'm like Put
my stuff down and again, who would be
bothered by this a Person that says look
what the dunya does to the heart He
could have made that a moment.
What a moment.
What a Hadith Man if that was the
Hadith we quoted it.
We all be crying.
We'd sell our cars Get rid of everything
we go.
Look what the dunya does it turns you
into a monster How dare somebody speak to
a messenger of God like this?
Look what the love of dunya does You
know what the Prophet?
I said some does he takes him inside
into the masjid and he goes how much
do you want?
And then said this much like no shame
You know you take him inside.
How much do you want the guys?
I'm sorry.
He goes this much The Prophet I said
so Sam.
He says okay.
He gives him more Gives him more The
thing that he noticed though Was that when
that was happening?
The companions wanted to basically jump him when
they heard this so the Prophet I said
so Sam he comes out and The man
basically makes dua for that.
He says he goes mail may Allah bless
Muhammad and nobody else Because he was upset
with everybody Okay, this happened a few times
by the way The Prophet I said so
Sam he sent him off, you know, he
said to them he looked at his companions
and He said your reaction to him was
like the reaction of a person to a
scared animal Because you were so like because
you responded so viscerally You were about to
push this person away from faith Right So
now let's go back to what al-ghazali
says al-ghazali is saying if you are
obsessed With this world even in a way
that's condemning like you want to just condemn
all of it Who are you really serving?
Who are you attracting?
Has anyone ever really been inspired by hearing
about how evil everything is?
The Prophet I said so Sam could have
just showed up and been like this place
is horrible And by the way with certain
groups in certain times in certain places he
did He did but only to bring people
back from what from their extremes So if
they came to the extreme side of caring
too much about the dunya Then he would
correct them because in order to bring a
seesaw down to level you have to apply
force Right.
So the seesaw is up here love of
dunya is up here.
He needed to what or is it down
here?
Technically he needed to apply force to bring
it back to level, correct So, what would
he do people would be enamored they would
be obsessed they would be Focused all the
shiny glittery stuff of dunya and then he
would say what he would say this entire
world and everything in it is No more
valuable to Allah than this dead animal on
the side of the road right here He
didn't do that to make people feel horrible
about themselves.
He did it to bring them back down
to earth So sometimes you will read narrations
like that.
You'll see a hadith where the Prophet I
said to Salam He says this dunya and
everything in it is not worth anything to
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, but he didn't
say that every day There's one narration that
you may have heard Where the Prophet I
said to Salam one time came across some
companions who were laughing and he told them
if you knew what?
I knew Then you would You guys ever
heard this one.
I'm testing.
What did he say?
You would yeah, that's the first part.
He said you would laugh little and you
would Cry more All right Okay, we've all
heard that one.
It's a great 90s Friday khutba banger right
there There I'm just letting everyone leave on
a high note, right?
Okay, no offense If you knew what I
knew you would laugh less and cry more
cool to call you had that was stuff
for Allah He would like I was like
What I guess we're not going to lunch
like, you know, there's just go home and
cry Subhanallah listen to this There is a
rewaiya there is a narration That is true.
By the way, it's an authentic Hadith But
there's a narration where the Prophet I said
to Salam He would first of all, let
me give the context of that Hadith the
Hadith was Do you have you guys ever
laughed so hard that like you were basically
you just almost what you were unable to
like breathe and Then after that like everything
else kind of became funny by extension even
things that weren't funny the commentary on this
Hadith says that not exactly like that, but
that the companions were in a Laughing fit
like that meaning like it was excessive.
It was unreasonable.
You know, there's a time in a place
right like Sometimes when you're laughing that hard
and the mood is very neutral.
It just feels kind of out of place
I mean let alone if the mood is
sad those kinds of Laughter's at family gatherings
at weddings, etc are more suitable for places
that are not even remotely serious Okay, it's
just joyous so number one is the commentary
says that this laughter this type of laughter
is Not the type of laughter that a
person should be engaging in like casually all
the time where you're like in a laughing
fit Someone comes up to you.
Hey, so now how you doing?
The person is just laughing.
That's not normal So the Prophet I said
to Salam was addressing that behavior number two,
and this is really the important part the
Prophet I said to Salam as he walked
away one narration says it continues that Jibreel
I said I'm came to him and said
go back to them and Give them the
good news of Allah Ta'ala mercy Don't
leave them in that state Don't leave them
in that state.
He wasn't he wasn't correcting Of course the
Prophet I said to Salam But what he
was saying to him was the way that
you understand it is different than the way
that they just received it You left them
you just condemned laughing Rightfully so but you
didn't give parameters and as a result of
that now they're expressing it to the ultimate
level and they sat there and they started
crying crying crying and Jibreel comes and says
go and Right balance them give them equilibrium
again Establish their equilibrium again Okay, we got
to put a box around those light switches
So all of this is to say that
the Prophet I said to Salam in his
action his behavior and how he carried himself
He was never extreme on either side He
was not a man that was beholden to
this dunya by loving it nor did he
hate this dunya He simply sought for what
it was a way to get closer to
Allah's parents on him.
That's it He didn't think that it was
especially pious to walk around condemning people for
having nice things Nor was he obsessed about
having nice things himself He only understood that
whatever this is as long as I'm using
it to get close to Allah, then it's
not a distraction right So let's talk a
little bit now About some of the practical
elements because we hear these talks and then
we leave and we're like sitting in our
car Like what do I do?
Like what do I do, you know, do
I cancel the door-to-door like what
do I do, you know?
Like should I just starve tonight?
Like I don't know So let's talk a
little bit about what the Quran what the
Hadith talk about as far as establishing Zohd
in our life Okay, so we talked about
this the definition of Zohd is to be
a person that is not distracted by the
dunya Okay, you're not distracted by it.
You live in it as one of my
teachers said that you can play outside, but
you don't get dirty That's how he defined
it which I think is like Not a
not an entirely helpful definition But it's beautiful
in its artistic nature because why he's saying
look the reality is you're here you're here
So you got to live you got to
work you got to socialize you have to
do these things But are you getting dirty
and how do you care?
How do you take care of yourself from
getting dirty if you're wearing nice clothes?
like if someone here was wearing brand new
white shoes or they wore something nice and
you're gonna go walk outside and there's You
know some dirt there on the on the
front lawn of roots It's not really good
for our PR by the way that we're
all green and there's dirt outside You would
what you would step very carefully You're not
gonna drag your feet.
You're not gonna even before you sit on
the bench What do you do as I
learned the other day when I was wearing
a white soap?
you Put something yeah exactly see all the
sisters know see I didn't know You wipe
you make sure you might get a paper
towel and see is this dirty because I
can't tell it blends in so well That
bench it's wood all of the dust blends
in so well It's only gonna show on
my behind when I get back up and
everyone's like, oh, that's not nice, right?
So you would operate in a way playing
in the dirt and not getting dirty means
you operate in a way where you are
cautious You think twice before you step once
right?
So that's the hood.
So it is when the person is thinking
Proactively about the decisions the statements even the
thoughts that they have before they commit to
anything How is this gonna affect me?
How is this gonna affect my heart?
I have a friend for example who bought
a Tesla in a moment of Zohid We're
not Elon Musk supporters here.
Okay, this is before this is a long
time ago But I'll tell you how this
worked out.
You know what he did he bought one
of the less expensive models, even though much
a lot he could afford the more expensive
models, so I went to him and As
a horrible friend I said bro.
Why didn't you get something a little bit
bigger?
He's tall So it looks like he's getting
into a clown car So I said bro,
you should have gotten something a little bit
more comfortable Miskeen you drive from here all
the way over here in Dallas 30 45
minute commutes I said you should have gotten
something a little bit nicer just for yourself
because you drive a lot and he said
I don't want To put myself in a
monthly payment that would stop my ability to
donate whenever I want Like if I get
something that cuts into my budget I'm gonna
have to start pulling things and I don't
want I like he's like I like the
ability that when somebody comes and asks for
charity I can give doesn't you have to
think about it and he goes my lifestyle
has to facilitate that It has to keep
that going if I start to increase my
lifestyle things, which again not haram Perfectly within
reason but he says for me personally, this
is my Zohid My Zohid is that before
I make this purchase?
I proactively think how is this gonna affect
my ability to be what a charitable person?
That's Zohid.
So that is asceticism.
That is where we want to go the
Quran talks about this the ayah That's all
the way in the back of the flex
room.
Allah Ta'ala mentions it bell to a
few Noon al-hayat ad-dunya well, I
could have talked about the car Allah Ta
'ala tells us That in this battle to
become people that are not consumed by this
It's tough.
It's an uphill climb Bell to a few
Nuna al-hayat ad-dunya says the reality
is you prefer this life you prefer it
Well, I hear it.
Oh, hi.
Roma Abaqa Allah Ta'ala says even though
the next life is infinitely better and is
everlasting He lays out the terms You know
what when you look at if anyone here
ever like is trying to buy something or
purchase something or invest in something What do
you want to know about it the quality
and its term You're like, is it good?
Allah Ta'ala says high room.
It's actually better It'll be no matter what
you compare it to in this dunya.
The akhira is better.
Well, Abaqa Abaqa means what it's never-ending
The dunya is defined by the fact that
it will end.
It's temporary So Allah Ta'ala says isn't
it interesting that you prefer this whole temporary
not as good situation And you're like, no,
I don't know I don't and then the
Quran challenges you in between the lines This
is but look at how you're living Look
at what you do Do you spend more
in yourself or do you give more in
charity?
Which one?
Do you eat more or do you fast
more?
Which one?
Do you sleep more or do you wake
up for p.m. And Fajr more which
one?
You don't have to say the answer.
The answer is manifest in the actions that
we have May Allah Ta'ala make us
those who prove with our behavior So when
a person read these verses and they think
to themselves, okay interesting Allah knows me pretty
well Now I have to start taking on
the challenge of changing myself Allah Ta'ala
also says in the Quran that the default
nature of this world is that it will
be a test It is a test.
It's not meant to be a place of
comfort It's not meant to be a place
that's comfortable Right, you know subhanAllah this weekend.
We had the heartwork retreat our first one
and We took mashallah about a hundred people
out into Gray Grayford, Texas, it's like two
hours West I Think it's called Possum Kingdom
Lake It's uh, it's rustic.
I Took my kids I was there on
Saturday.
I took my kids and they were You
know, they're part of the Airbnb generation.
So they were a little disappointed, you know,
there's cabins I mean for me growing up
You know the cabins that we had if
you turned a little bit too hard you
can get tetanus from the rust So it's
like very, you know The fact that these
were wooden and they had mattresses and the
mattresses didn't have weird stains on them We
were like, okay, this is good Okay It
was cold and it was it was raining
all weekend It was it was not easy.
Okay, and I was only there for one
day because I had to travel the next
day, unfortunately, but When I got home From
that environment where you're bundled up your socks
are persistently wet you are in a constant
low level state of freezing all the time
and And When you finally for example get
into like a warm shower or a warm
bed That's the relief That we look for
Okay, you need to use the bathroom and
you finally find one You're super hungry and
you finally get food that relief is what
you're looking for Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala in
the Quran says this dunya if you're looking
for that relief here, you're not gonna find
it So don't look for it here also
don't get upset that it's not here and
Don't be like don't be again so consumed
and upset that this place is so cursed
Why do I not find happiness here?
Why are people looking for happiness here?
We're never gonna find it here Just put
your head down and keep working Just put
your head down and keep pushing Allah tells
us in the Quran that this life all
it is is amusement and distraction and Adornment
and boasting to one another and competition Right.
That's all it is So Zohar is when
a person realizes that and they decide not
to let themselves fall into that whether for
or against it The Prophet I said to
Salam in a famous hadith now that we've
given the context he gives us this advice
Okay kun fit dunya K'na ghareeb aw
a'abil al-sabeel be in this life
as if you're a traveler or you're on
a path You're just a wayfarer.
You're just going somewhere Anyone in this room
when you think about like your generation maybe
above you your parents generation You realize not
clinical, but you're starting to maybe anecdotally diagnose
That your parents had a hoarding problem Okay
It's you know, we can talk about it.
It's okay and Then did anybody in this
room swear that they would never do that?
But now that we're at 30 and up
you're starting to see that you also kind
of have a hoarding problem Like your closet
When are you gonna wear that?
I will inshallah, right?
Boxes you moved from one place to another
and you still have boxes that you haven't
opened and It's been a year two years
what's in there something important inshallah Clearly you
haven't touched it for two years.
It's so important, right?
It's another blend tech or another ninja blender
or whatever, right?
The point being is that the reality of
this subhanallah is that the Prophet I said
to Saddam 1400 years ago Taught us how
to be people that don't get affected by
this.
You see you're either a hoarder or you
hate hoarders This is what goes out he's
saying you either you either, you know Try
to collect everything or you can't stand the
fact that you grew up in a house
where?
you had parents that were saving every plastic
cup from every restaurant that you went to
and Those were the cups that you use
for water at home, right and that kind
of focus on that Phenomenon is not what
the Prophet.
I said to Saddam saying He's saying be
a person that doesn't need things if it
comes to you look if you're traveling and
All of a sudden someone shows up and
gives you something you say to that look
it But if somebody walks by and doesn't
give you anything you say what?
It was good either way Right.
Can we be people that when we talk
about spending time are Equally satisfied Being given
like a nice meal or just sitting in
the company of somebody and having a glass
of water Can we be people that are
like that because that's what the traveler does
and the Prophet I said, so I'm he
taught us this some of the scholars they
mentioned that if you want to understand like
a Practical approach Number one they say is
be a person of balance Be a person
of balance.
This is mentioned in the Quran Ask yourself
the next time Okay, and this isn't this
doesn't apply if you can't afford something If
you can't afford it, then you have to
be balanced by default.
But the next time that you have the
ability to indulge Ask yourself if you have
the ability to withhold and to not go
on the lowest but also not seek the
highest.
I was one time flying to Amra and
I was flying in economy because I'm a
normal person All right, one thing is in
Jannah, we're all gonna get business class inshallah
say inshallah See see that's powerful to our
by the way.
Oh Allah give us all business class in
Jannah, right?
so I'm sitting in economy and One of
my my friends actually he's from Boston he
came to me and he goes hey what
what seat are you in?
I was on my way to my seat.
What seat are you in?
I was like, I don't know like 439
F, you know like somewhere next to the
dogs and he goes Oh, let me see
and he like looked at my boarding pass
and he just snatched it and he gave
me his I look at his And it
said like two I'm like, where are the
other two numbers, you know, and He like
ran like a running back down the aisle
to my seat all the way It was
like one of those paintings endless tunnel and
he gave me his seat And I went
back and I tried to swap on please
please please and he's like no no and
he said well a lot He's I was
like see you went and did it you
did it, right?
You dropped the W So I remember after
I got off the plane we landed I
was very well-rested I was taking off
my under eye, you know patches I Asked
him I said, why would you do that?
You know and he was like no this
and this, you know, I have to help
and take care of I said no Really?
Why would you do that?
Like there was no expectation.
I wasn't like hey, what seat are you
in?
Oh, it must be nice What's the menu
like, you know, send me some scraps.
I Wasn't giving any shot.
I was giving no indication that I want
it It was just he just did it
and he told me something he said this
is he goes There are times when I
find myself Feeling the need to Indulge at
like the highest level that I willingly choose
to go into something.
That's more normative Because that's my way.
That's my way of Practicing this hood He
didn't say so it exactly because it's my
way of lowering myself, you know, and again,
he didn't like take the bus From Istanbul
to New York like he didn't hop on
the megabus, you know He said I'm just
gonna okay, I'm gonna go ahead and make
this swap and So that example is kind
of extreme, but I will say this all
of us have daily opportunities where we can
do that One of the things that I've
recently been Asking a lot of families people
are planning weddings or parties and this and
that I said look at your menu and
Look at the extensiveness and the waste that
comes from this obsession with Indulging at such
a high level People have done good things.
MashaAllah.
They've taken to go boxes.
They make sure that it's distributed They make
sure that people have food.
That's very nice Like amazing, you know, they
distribute they make sure people have food for
the next few nights for dinner.
Beautiful.
That's community.
That's hospitality That's wonderful but I do want
to offer an ulterior or an alternate solution,
which is Maybe we just need don't need
to have so much in the first place
Doesn't mean that you have to like ration
people's servings, but you also don't have to
Execute an entire species of animals for your
spread one protein is enough one rice dish
will suffice a Little bit of bread some
salad halas call it a day.
Do we really need to have?
30 desserts Is that nice?
Is that necessary like is anyone impressed or
we all just overwhelmed?
You know, nobody even finishes one cake Especially
if you went to Costco that's gonna last
us for six months It's like an Oregon
Trail provision like Costco cake.
You'll be fine The point being is we
need to really start thinking from a framework
of not being so indulgent because why and
also not cursing it I'm through that is
what it is.
But maybe we can start this culture of
being people more moderate So practical aspects of
Zohar number one be a person that in
your practice is more moderate Number two if
you find that your heart is particularly attached
to something So all of us have you
know, as they say in English It's not
a good phrase because it the literal meaning
is bad, but we all have our own
vices Okay, even if it's not like in
Sharia, it's not a vice, but we all
have our own Things that we like more
than we admit Okay, it could be you
know experience.
It could be a practice.
It could be this or that We have
to tackle that head-on What might be
a vice for me is not a vice
for you and vice versa no pun intended
It may be different for every person.
There might be some people that are really
attached For example, you know, I was talking
to Prem earlier to kpop everyone who laughed.
I know now you're marked Okay, there might
be people that are deeply attached to certain
kinds of things Bollywood, you know Pakistani dramas
There might be people that are deeply attached
to cars To the gym.
There are people I know who go to
the gym for three four hours a day
They pray in the winter.
They're praying for salah at the gym like
It's good Exercise is great.
But is that?
Something that might be a little bit too
much of an attachment So you have to
sit there and look at yourself take inventory
of yourself and say which indulge indulgence.
Do I have?
That is acting as an obstacle At the
other at the other side of this the
purification of the heart would demand that what
thing am I so sensitive to That when
I see it in somebody else it bothers
me to the point where I lose my
balance I Lose my ability to be balanced
some people there are certain topics that if
you utter the word it just destroys them
They will be off politics right Sociology people
talk about different things.
They mentioned things especially now as you're getting
together all the days people are traveling We're
all careful to mention certain things be aware
and I hate to use this word be
aware of your own triggers And ask yourself,
why does this bother me so much?
Why can't I be a person that just
doesn't care if it's not de facto Problematic
and hot on why do I care about
it so much?
And why do I let this rattle me
so much and the last point that he
mentions here?
Well Imam Ahmed sorry mentions this that a
person really is Content with every situation that
they're in and that's where they're able to
find this middle path being a person of
contentment Imam Ahmed said that Zohd is not
that you don't own anything.
This is like a kind of a common
Misunderstanding the person who wants to be zahid
they get rid of everything they own now.
He said that's not what it is It's
that nothing actually owns you So you're not
beholden you're not a slave to anyone besides
who Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala You don't let
things get to you there are those of
us that when we sit there and Something
happens in the world.
That's not important.
We still get emotional we cry the end
of our favorite kpop series right We cry
we're actually moved emotionally by these things that
are mundane But then when it comes to
like praying to Allah or making du'a
we are we find it very difficult to
cry you know, we're standing in front of
the Kaaba and Umrah and we're like Struggling
to find those emotions, but they're elsewhere When
our favorite team wins or loses in my
case the Bears may Allah protect us from
Ibraflux, right?
You know when your favorite sports team wins
or loses We talked about this a few
weeks ago the reaction, right but when I
see My brothers and sisters being actually oppressed.
I don't have that same reaction or that
same energy Those are indications that something is
not calibrated something's off and So part of
it is what you find contentment in versus
what you find discontentment in Imam Ahmed says
Part of it would mean that you're owned
by this world You're owned by it Okay
So being a person that doesn't have excess
that does not have reliance on material possessions
This is part of the lesson that Imam
Ghazali he teaches us today We're gonna go
ahead and conclude here inshallah.
We'll ask Allah to make us those that
we are Constantly focused on him that whether
we see something that is Virtuous or whether
we see something that is from vice that
we focus on Allah subhana wa ta'ala
that we don't get distracted either by our
own self-righteousness or by our aspirations for
piety but we focus on Allah and all
we want to do is become closer to
him and More like his Prophet I said
to Salam and better in character We ask
Allah subhana wa ta'ala to make us
those that in our practice We follow the
example of the Quran the statements of the
kitab and the practice of his Prophet Salaam
the Sunnah Salaam of our messenger and we
ask Allah to make us those people that
can truly live a life of balance That
we can be people that are in moderation
that when we do find ourselves particularly struggling
that we're able to cleanse our heart from
those things and that at the end of
the Day, we are content with Allah subhana
wa ta'ala in all situations in all
circumstances and our contentment is not conditional But
it is always universal.
I mean you're a bit odd.
I mean subhanak Allah will be Hamdik I
Didn't actually I'm gonna open the Q&A
now I didn't do it before So we'll
do Q&A for about five minutes or
so five seven minutes, and then we'll head
over to the isha prayer inshallah Okay, so
the Q&A if you go to slido
.com And type in 30 and up as
the code then we can get started inshallah
Sorry, I know these Super Esoteric sections by
a qazari are always I enjoy them.
I really do.
I thought it was amazing that line There's
one line that he dropped that I want
you to remember and the line is that
the one who hates this world is Preoccupied
with it just as the one who desires.
It is also preoccupied Qazari is such Amazing
30 and up.
Yeah all the words all letters 30 and
up.
I'm gonna put a box on that Or
we don't
have to have questions if everyone's satisfied you're
like you just talked about contentment.
We're all content.
Oh Off one.
Sorry, I need to open Q&A There
we go Is it open now?
Okay, look at me blaming you You
really go into it, okay My
niece is big into playing musical instruments is
my patronizing her piano recital sinful So there
are there are a plethora of opinions about
musical instruments music in general Definitely what we
know for a fact is that music with
Sinful intent and sinful application including lyrics is
impermissible.
We know that without a doubt.
Okay, so any music that is intending to
Bring about any sort of sinful behavior including
The way it's played the environment that it's
intended to be playing played in with lyrics
We know that there's no question that those
are impermissible As far as musical instruments are
concerned the scholars discuss These topics and there's
a principle in Islamic law Which says that
there is no in cow on things that
have a steal off You can't make a
person feel sinful for things where there are
valid difference of opinion So if there's a
valid difference of opinion meaning that valid here
means academically sound Scholars have provided evidences to
support that there is in fact not just
one opinion But two different interpretations of the
sources you cannot make in cowed of it,
which means you can't make the person feel
like they're sinning So to answer your question
in particular if you particularly don't follow the
opinion that allows the permissibility of Playing an
instrument, but your niece does then there's ways
where you can be creative in Supporting her
creativity without necessarily endorsing it You know, you
can tell her that I love that you're
so good at exploring the things that you
love, etc You don't have to be like,
you know, wow that's C sharp.
What's dope, you know Like you can you
can kind of hide some of those things,
but generally speaking I would not patronize your
niece Wallah or item Please advise if I
should forgive a sheikh who sexually harassed me
20 years ago and was the head of
Islam school in Chicago Allah knows best how
many a lot of time easy Forgiveness is
the choice of the person who was wronged
and so the reality is that we know
in Islam Forgiveness is always the better option
But it's not required meaning a person will
is allowed to hold the crime that was
committed against them until the day of judgment
But if a person chooses to forgive and
forgiveness here does not mean by the way
overlooking nor does it mean ignoring nor does
it mean Forgoing legal punishment like a person
can be forgiven and also Still pursue legal
punishment forgiveness means on the day of judgment
that you're not gonna hold this person accountable
That's what forgiveness means when we talk about
spiritual forgiveness Okay, so Allah make it easy
and Allah Ta'ala give you the strength
to do what is best for you sister
inshallah On a day-to-day basis I
get preoccupied with this life and throughout the
day And I'll stop and I'll realize I'm
too attached to the dunya and I'll feel
guilty.
How do I detach?
Based on what Imam Al-Ghazali said try
your best to just stop thinking about it
Don't let it consume you in a way
sometimes people do this with prayer But man,
I wish I could pray with more focus
And so they like try to pray with
more focus more focus and then they almost
you know Have you guys ever heard of
the phrase paralysis by analysis?
Like they become so focused on the minutiae
and the nuance of something that you lose
sight of the actual action itself right, so
Sometimes when you're going throughout your day number
one, don't be hard on yourself.
Like there's no benefit in beating yourself up
But secondarily you also just have to allow
yourself to be human and part of the
Islamic paradigm Is that we believe that you
just get up and keep going Right, you
get up and keep going you made a
mistake.
Okay.
Halas.
Bismillah.
Keep going.
Keep going Your response to mistakes is more
actually is more indicative than you not making
mistakes Your response to mistakes is more indicative.
Allah ta'ala make it easy Okay, let's
do one more question inshallah What if a
trigger?
Includes hurtful family members how to remain detached
from that.
I think we answer something similar before I'll
restate just so that it's clear inshallah family
is one of the Family is one of
the categories in the Islamic Sciences that is
determined as an unbreakable bond Okay, so we
have this concept of sort of the Rahman
that we have to keep the familial ties
The extent with which we keep those ties
can be determined by the level of Function
or dysfunction that that relationship might bring Okay,
so we learned this from what from the
advice of look man to his son that
you have to keep good ties with your
Family here.
He's speaking about you know Parents himself specifically
he's saying except if they encourage you to
do wrong and that's when you're allowed To
draw the line and say, you know, what
this is the boundary, you know Salam like
this is this is the boundary that I
have So when it comes to family, the
general ruling is that we should be of
course loving courteous cordial only to the extent
that that relationship is Damaging or is encouraging
us away from a last momentada should we
feel like we can create a step back
or a boundary?
Okay Those Situations are case by case I'm
not giving like a general thing here where
I'm like, okay Let's go one to ten
and then you know, you can decide don't
respond to text messages this and that that's
not what I'm saying What I'm saying here
is you need to go and speak to
somebody a third party that can help you
determine Is this in fact just normal family
drama or is this actually like an abnormal?
almost abusive type of dysfunction that needs to
be Identified needs to be agreed upon that.
Yes, and then you can take steps accordingly
Generally speaking family drama is not dysfunctional is
not abusive.
It's just family drama.
It is what it is But the Quran
does highlight family abuse in order to show
you that it's real Okay, so you have
Ibrahim and his father Sayyid Nalut and his
family Okay, you have Nooh and his son
You have Yusuf and his brothers The Quran
memorializes these stories to show you that it's
not made up But you have to ask
yourself is what I'm experiencing in the same
vein of what the Quranic stories Tell me
or is it just me being really upset
which is you're a lot You you are
allowed as a human to be upset, but
which side is it?
Okay, which side is it?
And is it somewhere in between?
May Allah try to make it easy.
Okay, we will do I Don't understand not
hating this world when there's so much Western
corruption.
Could you explain it's not that you don't
hate Western corruption It's that you don't let
it become the object of your life all
the time You know, there was a period
I remember growing up as a Muslim in
the 90s Where there was a group of
people whose entire Islam was focused on like
the job and Like you guys, you know,
I'm talking about their rivals.
You watch that YouTube series British Muslims, of
course And they were like they produced this
series where they were talking about like all
of these intricately threaded Conspiracies about this and
this which by the way on the day
of judgment.
We'll probably find out we're all true Okay,
we're all true the banking system in the
entertainment system and this and this and this
kind of like what Kanye said recently, right?
But the point is is that the extent
of your Dean?
Like I would ask have you prayed officer?
That would be my first question if the
extent of your social life your spiritual life
Your community life is trying to show people,
you know that meme where the guy has
all the things behind him and he's like
You know That can't be us as Muslims
We know look we already know Allah told
us in the Quran that they plan and
Allah plans and a lot of the best
of Planners, we know that there is a
bunch of corruption in the world.
We know this we should not be surprised
We're like, oh, wow.
I was just talking earlier today about following
the Nancy Pelosi investment train, right?
Wherever she invests.
It's like an ambulance on the highway.
Just get behind it and ride, you know,
like how how is it possible that?
MashaAllah.
She's a she either has like a gin
working for or something She's able to nail
these investments corruption is there Allah told us
this this dunya is a place of corruption
it's the daughter of facade, but The Prophet
I said so Salam didn't spend day and
night for for you know 23 years of
his prophethood just talking about this place is
evil.
It's evil.
It's evil.
It's evil He said if you are planting
a tree and you see the day of
judgment coming finish planting the tree Which means
what the day of judgment is what is
the the the it's the peak of corruption
It's the peak of all these signs coming
to fruition, but don't stop doing good Don't
let the evil in the world stop you
from doing the good that you're doing.
Keep going keep going You could be planting
a tree you look up and you see
all of these corrupt things Finish what you
were doing for the sake of a lost
balance honor Right, so you're allowed to hate
it, of course But don't let it consume
you because that's not a good sign.
That means that you've let it win You've
let it win right as they say you've
let it take real estate for free living
rent free in your head May Allah Ta
'ala make it easy.
May Allah Ta'ala bless everybody here Jazakumullah
khairan Inshallah, we'll head to the masala if
you sat on any of the backjacks if
you'd help me by stacking them here And
if you sat on any of the furniture
if you could help by kind of rearranging
it inshallah Also, if you fold your black
chair that you sat on and stack it
nicely on the dollies in the hallway would
really appreciate that BarakAllah Fikmah everybody take care
inshallah wasalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh