AbdelRahman Murphy – Thirty & Up Treasury Of Imam Al-Ghazli #18
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The speakers emphasize the importance of patient and avoiding negative emotions in order to achieve success in various areas of life, including avoiding wasteful behavior and negative emotions. They also discuss the use of language and the potential for mistakes. The series of conversations and questions on the impact of Transgressive behavior and marriage and marriage, emphasizes the importance of humility and humility in building self-esteem and success, as well as the importance of positive experiences in life and building one's own success.
AI: Summary ©
Alrighty, assalamu alaikum, bismillah, bismillah walhamdulillah wassalatu
wassalamu ala rasoolillahi wa ala abihi wa ashabihi
ajma'een Welcome home everybody, it's good to
see you, alhamdulillah Okay, number 18 Okay, so
last week, Imam Ghazali, he talked about what
it means to repent and last week's conversation
was effectively defining something not in the literal
definition, but in like the feeling, the experiential
definition of something So he said that repentance,
and he described it as like the aching
of the heart, right?
We experience this like all the time, when
you feel feelings of guilt and remorse You
know, you toss and turn, there's like a
restlessness You feel maybe like your appetite disappears,
you're not hungry anymore Maybe you feel a
little bit sick to your stomach So all
of those physical expressions of repentance are in
fact what makes repentance, repentance In order for
it to be considered authentic, sincere, there has
to be a feeling I'm not saying you
have to feel those things, but you have
to feel something And whatever it is that
allows you to feel that, whatever reflection or
whatever thought it is that allows you to
feel that That is the flame, that is
the charcoal, right?
That keeps the heart warm when it comes
to tawbah, when it comes to repentance So
he mentioned that, he said repentance is defined
as when your heart aches over the sins
that have happened that you've done And he
says that it is something that can't be
muted, can't be stopped You know, you can't
change your mind about it You know when
you feel this sense of remorse where it's
just kind of like occupying your thoughts You
go through your day, you might go to
work, you might go throughout your day But
you feel like constantly in the background of
your mind, there's this feeling of remorse and
regret And so he said that it's something
that cannot be sealed, it can't be kept
away And he says that as a result
of that pain, as a result of that
emptiness You then start to think about, okay,
what can I do to rid myself of
this And you decide that I need to
stay away from whatever caused me this I
need to abstain from it, I need to
be a person who abstains from this And
I need to promise myself that I will
be free from the action that caused me
this feeling And then finally the last moment
of repentance, he quoted Sahih al-Tustari, this
famous scholar And he said that repentance is
when a person التوبة تبديل الحركات المضمومة It's
when you replace all of the negative actions
that you do بالحركات المحمودة With things that
are good So you commit, you promise yourself
That instead of saying things that are bad,
that are evil I'm going to replace that
with good things Instead of doing business that
is from haram, I'm going to replace that
with good business Instead of looking at things
that are haram, I'm going to only let
my eyes look at good things You know,
one of the things that one of my
teachers used to say He said that don't
be surprised if you are used to listening
to things that are like haram Or watching
things that are haram If your eyes and
ears start to fall out of love with
things that are pure Because just like you
have a palate, like you enjoy certain types
of food He said the nafs enjoys certain
types of things And when you train your
nafs to love bad things It's like a
kid who only can eat candy If you
give a kid who's only had candy fruit
They'll say the fruit is sour, it's not
good Because it's not artificially sweetened So the
nafs that's indulging in haram Whether it's with
your eyes or with your ears or whatever
You know, even backbiting Like there's a certain
type of conversation That after a person has
backbited long enough Like it's no longer fun
to talk about your day You know, if
you try to remove people from the conversation
See how much conversation stops If you say
let's not talk about people Right, so there's
a certain level that you kind of have
to reprogram yourself a little bit And that's
what Sahih al-Tustari, he says, rahimahullah So
the next chapter, and this is what the
author, Dr. Mustafa, he did Is he talked
about the core, like how to repent What's
the flame that keeps that repentance going And
then he takes from the ihya, another section
Where he talks about an important trait That
every person has to have When it comes
to coming to terms with their own sinfulness
With their own awareness of their vulnerabilities and
mistakes So the chapter is going to address
something But that only makes sense if we
all agree on one thing And that is
that we all have our struggles You know,
one of the things that's important to acknowledge
And this is 30 and up, so we
get to the point where like Hopefully no
one here is trying to impress anybody else
Alright, I know hard work, it's a little
bit different You know, when we come here,
there's really no impressing for anybody else Even
the couple, mashallah, that dresses in the same
color every week Alright, my man right there
They're not impressing anybody else, that's for them
You know, beauty for the self So there's
a certain switch There's a certain switch that
just flips When a person kind of loses
interest In what others think of them, right?
And we tend to associate it with like
young age But there's also like an older
version of this I know like the desis
in the room Like we pay for like
certain weddings or cars or houses We want
to live in a certain area or live
a certain lifestyle Why?
Because we think that that would give us
some kind of capital Some kind of currency
with people around us Where do you live?
Oh, I actually live in Frisco Oh wow,
Frisco, right?
Like where do you live?
What's your zip code?
And then you share And these are like
weird flexes that people have Alright, where do
you drive?
Where do you work?
You know, there's the one brother I told
you guys about I think I mentioned him
or like I asked him what he did
for work And he said healthcare Which if
you've ever met a doctor in your life
They never say healthcare I'm a physician, right?
So he goes healthcare And I'm like, I'm
thinking in my head I'm like, are you
a dietician?
And I said, okay, what kind of healthcare?
And he's like, I work in a hospital
And then it took me like six questions
to get to He's a physician And then
I go, my brother's a doctor So we
start talking about medical school and whatever And
he goes, where did you go to med
school?
He goes, Connecticut And in my head, I'm
like, I know nothing about Connecticut Except for
UConn, that's it But other than that, they
don't have a professional sports team The Patriots,
okay, yeah, whatever We all know, they're in
Boston, right?
And Sharon So then we kind of dig
deeper And he's like, oh yeah, New Haven
And I'm like, isn't Yale there?
Did you go to Yale?
And he's like, I did And I go,
how long?
He's like, I went for undergrad And I
go, okay, cool, where'd you go to med
school?
He goes, New Haven I was like, you
can just say Yale We've already established, like,
that's where she went Like, you know The
point being is, it was like a 15
-minute conversation To like pry that out of
him Which normally, an Ivy League doctor Would
have that on their hoodie Like, Ivy League
doctor Walking around, wanting everyone to know So,
there is a little bit There's a tiny
bit of This that could carry on But,
Allah knows best There's a point in everyone's
life Maybe it's, I don't know, when you
have Your own family Your own things to
worry about Maybe when the circle of people
That you care about, their opinion about you
shrinks I don't know There's a point where
you stop really worrying And you stop really
seeking that appraisal And that praise and that
approval from people And that's really, subhanAllah One
of the points when you start to understand
that I need to really live for me
You know, it's me and Allah And I
have to live with my own focus on
my own heart And beyond everything else Like,
whether or not people are impressed Or unimpressed
That's really out of my control All I
can do is be impressive to Allah I
want to be impressive to Allah Like, I
want on the Day of Judgment To show
up and Allah SWT to say I'm so
happy to see you That's what I want
Like, I don't care if people are happy
to see me It doesn't mean that I'm
mean or rude No, but what it means
is that my focus My aspiration is with
Allah Is with the Divine There's a statement
that the scholars say They said, مَجْهُولٌ فِي
الْأَرْضِ مَعْرُوفٌ فِي السَّمَاءِ You want to be
a person that's anonymous On the earth And
you want to be famous in the heavens
Like, you want to be a celebrity Be
a celebrity with the angels Don't be a
celebrity down here It's irrelevant Nobody here can
help us on the Day of Judgment But
the angels are the ones that will be
What, making du'a for us Seeking istighfar
for us, etc So he says And this
is kind of like the transitionary point now
He says that every sin that a person
has Out of all the sins that people
have There are There's a trait There's a
moment Where a person has to realize That
this is a battle Right?
It's not like an on-off switch It's
not a moment where a person says Like,
I'm going to do this Or I'm not
going to do this We talked about this
at heart work a couple weeks ago It's
like, when you decide That I'm no longer
going to do this anymore That's the beginning
of the journey Right?
When you decide, for example Like, I'm no
longer going to neglect my prayer That's not
the end of that decision That's the beginning
Now comes the work Right?
The commitment is a big step But now
comes the work So he says This title,
he says Is patience with your sins You
have to have patience You have to be
a person that understands That the sins that
you have Are a work in progress And
I'm not talking about performing them I'm talking
about ridding yourself of them So it's a
long passage So we'll go straight to the
English He says The most difficult kind of
patience That anybody can have And struggle with
Is the patience Against sins that have become
all too familiar Right?
There's a certain level of like Integration into
the fabric of the person Where they think
that This is just a part of who
I am And we say this a lot
We try to excuse our sins By saying
things like Yeah, I'm just an angry person
Or I have a very loose tongue We
almost try to essentialize it We say this
is part of who I am As opposed
to saying I'm working on it Right?
Admitting that it's not a part of us
But it's something that we're struggling with Okay?
And so he says that The most difficult
kind of patience Is with those sins that
have become familiar And he says Habits constitute
a fifth nature Right?
It's part of your existence It's part of
your Who you are Right?
So if you have like the body The
soul, the heart He says Habits is kind
of like An integral part of who you
are He says then If a habit Is
combined with lust Meaning if that If your
desires If your indulgences Become something that is
like on repeat He says then These two
things combined together Become like Shaitanic warriors against
you Shaitan already has enough Ammunition Against people
With his ability to Tempt And to put
these ideas Into the hearts and the chests
of people But now When the nefs Allows
those ideas To go from being One, two,
three times To being something that's everyday He
says Shaitan has basically Put you into a
rhythm Right?
And allowed now The rhythm to be his
ally One of the scholars One time He
talked about Why is it the case That
people sin And then in Ramadan When Shaitan
is locked up People still continue to do
the sin So for example I struggle Eleven
months of the year Ramadan comes The hadith
says That Shaitan Is Chained up In Ramadan
He doesn't have the same power The same
access over You know Influencing As he does
The rest of the year But subhanallah I
still struggle With the same struggles And we
were reading this In one of our books
And the scholar said That Shaitan basically Trained
us He spent eleven months Kind of Putting
us in a regimen Right?
A training plan To do a certain action
Or to neglect A certain obligation And then
when he leaves We basically show How good
of a student We are to Shaitan And
we keep that sin going And my sheikh
Who was reading the book with us He
said Yeah Have you guys ever heard about
How they train elephants For the circus Which
by the way Circuses and all of that
Are like demonic things But The elephants for
the circus I apologize if Everyone here is
a big fan Of the circus apparently But
They torture the animals effectively So we should
not Support those things So But they basically
In order to train the elephant To stay
in the ring They They basically Shackle One
of its legs And they put a peg
A stake in the middle And that radius
Is all it's allowed to know And so
this elephant That's used to like roaming In
the wilderness In the plains Right?
Of Africa and whatnot This animal That's used
to having this Virtually unlimited Expanse of land
To like Experience life You know?
Is now trapped To this thing That's maybe
like What?
A thirty foot diameter?
And the chain around its foot Is only
fifteen And it has to walk In circles
And then subhanallah During the show Because the
chain would be Like unsightly Right?
They unshackle it But Because the elephant Isn't
aware It still continues To only walk in
that circle So my teacher said This is
us in Ramadan Shaitan has us chained To
our desires For eleven months And then in
Ramadan We get unshackled But we still keep
going Right?
But If we're sincere That's a good opportunity
To change Like if the elephant Wanted to
It could just Run away But it doesn't
Because it's been trained So he says That
the two soldiers of shaitan Become lust Like
that desire And the habits That this person
develops And They join their forces Against the
people Who are Spiritual soldiers of Allah Subhanahu
wa ta'ala The religious Passion And power
In those people Would not be able to
Suppress These effects Of lust and habit He
says furthermore If an act of Disobedience Can
be performed Easily Then having patience Is very
difficult If something's Within reach It's very tough
You know That's why they say Like if
you're trying To eat healthy Just don't buy
it If you have something In your pantry
And you try to avoid it That's really
hard But guess what If you don't have
it It's somehow A lot easier Right?
So just don't buy it I see people
looking At each other Don't do that That's
not nice Right?
So you have chocolate In the pantry But
you don't want To eat chocolate Why are
you Torturing yourself?
Why are you Torturing yourself?
Right?
So all of these things Right?
Are indications Of the patience That we have
to have So when you're in a stage
Where your Iman Or your spirit Is not
like Super strong Part of the wisdom Is
strategizing And not putting yourself In a situation
Where you're going to Have to have This
amazing patience Because you can't Call on that
all the time You can't go out there
And score 50 every night Like you got
to be able To put yourself In a
situation To succeed So then he says An
example Is patience Against the tongue The sins
of the tongue Like backbiting Lying Showing off
Praising oneself Directly or indirectly And various types
Of joking That hurt people's feelings He says
All of this Is so easy To do
Right?
He's trying to give Examples of things That
are easy to do He says belittling Or
mentioning the deceased While mocking them Their conducts
And their positions For doing so Is backbiting
While self-praising Inwardly He says All of
this Is something that's too easy The tongue
is very slippery Right?
Both physically And also metaphorically It's a very
Very slippery thing It can get away with
a lot If I say a word If
I say a statement If I say a
phrase As soon as the sound disappears It's
as if it never was said And we
think That we got away with it Right?
If I say something I think that I
got away with it Why?
Because it's only Stuck in people's memories And
I can always Challenge them Or gaslight I
never said that I didn't mean that Right?
And now it's me Versus this person So
the tongue Is a very very tricky thing
To control And that's why The hadith of
the Prophet Peace be upon him Said every
morning Every single morning The body In the
spiritual realm Wakes up And looks at the
tongue And says Right?
Remember Allah When it comes to us Right?
The arms The hands Everything The eyes They're
all speaking to the tongue And then All
these limbs Say to the tongue If you
are successful We will be fine But if
you fail We are all doomed The tongue
Abu Bakr as-Siddiq He used to walk
around Medina And he used to do this
Like holding his tongue So people would ask
him Like are you okay?
He says yeah I said what's the problem?
Why are you doing that?
He said I'm so worried About what this
might do Some of the companions Used to
keep Date pits in their mouths Some even
small stones Why?
Because they wanted to kind of Make it
difficult for them To say things Okay?
They wanted to challenge themselves Again Why?
Because being patient With your tongue I mean
raise your hand Let's do this fun activity
Who struggles saying things That you regret saying
later?
Absolutely And half of you are lying right
now Right?
So The one half are being honest The
other half is just not being You know
You're too busy texting something You're going to
regret later No The point being is It's
something It's very challenging It's very challenging Okay?
So Imam Ghazali says These are the things
That are really difficult Okay?
He says the ego has two desires One
is to deny the other And to confirm
itself To deny the other And to confirm
itself You can think of it this way
The ego generally Wants to put down everybody
else And wants to elevate oneself Okay?
He says thus This person inherently Has given
themselves A state of lordship Right?
They've made themselves Higher than they are Since
longing for it Isn't a part of their
innate nature But it is the opposite of
servitude Which one is commanded So Imam Ghazali
says Our struggle Is that we innately want
To put others down And lift ourselves up
But the ideal Muslim Actually humbles themselves And
raises other people They do the inverse Okay?
And the Prophet Actually says That whoever lowers
themselves Whoever humbles themselves To Allah Allah will
raise that person Like they won't have any
choice If a person is humble Before Allah
Allah will elevate their status Before the eyes
and hearts Of everybody And then he says
Whoever raises themselves Like boastingly Before Allah Like
elevates themselves And as a part of that
Lowers other people Allah Ta'ala will humiliate
that person He will humiliate that person And
the Hadith continues and says This person will
become so degraded In the eyes of everybody
That they will see that person worse Than
a rabid dog If you see like a
dog in the street And they have like
foaming at the mouth And it looks unsafe
Nobody wants to come near that dog No
one's like Oh cute Like no one People
are like Get away, get away This is
the same analogy The Hadith says Is the
person who what?
Who pumps himself up Before Allah Subhana Wa
Ta'ala Does not humble themselves So now
Dr. Mustafa he says Allah Ta'ala prays
in the Quran This is the explanation In
numerous verses Those who have patience It's one
of the traits in the Quran That is
the most celebrated Right?
And it's The funny thing is It's not
a very exciting trait You know Nobody is
like What are you looking for In a
You know In a this or in a
that You're hiring somebody You're marrying somebody What
are you looking for?
What are you excited about With your vacation?
I'm excited to be patient InshaAllah I'm really
excited Like whenever Allah tests us We miss
a flight We're late The check-in's not
ready For the hotel I'm really looking forward
To being patient Nobody says that Right?
So it's not like It's not a very
like Glamorous trait to have It's only something
That's appreciated By wise people Only really wise
people Can look at someone and say Wow
they're really patient SubhanAllah And they can appreciate
that And it's not necessarily Even directly attributed
To like express religiosity Like sometimes people That
are the most Visually religious Are like the
least patient And sometimes people That maybe are
not The most visually religious Are like the
most patient Right?
So it's not even one of those things
That you can like tie together So what
is it?
It typically is connected to As the Quran
says A few of these traits Allah Ta
'ala says That he is with those Who
are patient To have patience And to forgive
So one of the traits That leads to
patience Is are you forgiving or not?
If you're a forgiving person You'll find yourself
Being more patient Forgiveness is one of those
things That unlocks patience One of the reasons
why We can't remain patient Is because we
haven't forgiven We're still angry We hold things
We start to fester We start to have
grudges And that refuses To let patience exist
To be patient Like the messengers Allah Ta
'ala says Who strove hard Who worked hard
Right?
Are you a person Who works hard?
Do you generally Like to work hard?
You know Subhanallah There's a Our age group
We can talk about this There's this like
Constant now conversation About Gen Z Anyone here
Gen Z?
No?
Yeah?
A couple Okay it's okay Don't take it
personally You're here You're working hard Mashallah Okay?
Yeah You're good But there's this Constant conversation
About Gen Z And like You know They're
They're Let's say They're like Oil and water
Aversion To hard work Okay?
Oil and water Aversion to hard work I'm
not going to talk About anybody Except for
my kids Because they're mine So I can
make fun of them So You know You
Kids are hilarious Subhanallah Like the The idea
of working hard Is so This is why
they say Right?
Like tough times Create great men Great men
create good times Good times create weak men
Weak men create tough times Like we're definitely
In the weak Weak men create tough times
Like we are there Like You know It's
like you are here Like that's where we
are Okay?
Like you go Somewhere And it's like An
amazing experience You're like Taking your kids And
like What do they say?
Like you're walking And your kids are like
My legs are too tired I don't want
to walk I'm like You're on vacation You
don't want to What do you mean?
Right?
The best was that I took my kids
for Umrah last year And I explained to
them And they were hyped Mashallah Mashallah I
was actually just Looking at pictures last night
That's why it's fresh And I was showing
my My family was over And I was
showing them Like some of the pictures And
I was like Yeah here's us at the
Kaaba And here's us in Tawaf And then
It was just Musa Holding my hand My
son And then it was Mehreen And they
were like Where's Iman?
And then the next picture Was her on
my shoulders So I made Tawaf With my
daughter on my shoulders Which is fine It
is what it is But It was funny
because I asked her like Why What's wrong?
My legs are tired I don't want to
walk I go It's okay mom It's okay
And I did Sari In a wheelchair Pushing
her Right?
She's totally healthy Pushing her And Musa Right?
And then we get back To the hotel
And I'm like Who wants to get ice
cream?
They're like And they jump And like they're
ready Legs are all of a sudden Healed
magically You know?
I'm like one of those Christian pastors right?
Daughter jumps out Of the wheelchair We should
have done that Actually in the Sahen Like
framed a miracle So The point being is
like Sometimes people Now she's five He's seven
Like they're allowed To like have those You
know But imagine now A person's like 17
Or like 25 Right?
And this is the kind So It translates
over It's not just corporate It's not just
at the home It's spiritual Right?
Do you Do you want to come to
Tarawih?
No, no I don't want to come We
didn't have a choice as kids When I
was a kid I was like Hey you
want to come to Tarawih?
No It was like Get in the car
Before you knew it You were in the
car And there was a Never mind I
don't want to get my mom in trouble
You were there And you know what?
Like homework Do it at the masjid Sit
in the back And it was just One
of those things And Alhamdulillah I'm all the
more Grateful for that I'm all the more
Grateful for the fact That my dad and
mom Were really Really insistent On understanding What
it means to do Things you don't want
to do You have to And all of
us in here Are nodding Because we're part
of that We understand what I'm saying Right?
You get it Right?
And it's the same With spirituality All of
us have to adopt A mentality that It
may not be The easiest thing But I
have to do it And I'll understand Why
I have to do it Once I've done
it I'll understand You know Fajr is not
easy man Like Fajr is not easy Fajr
Waking up for Fajr And then starting your
day After having a late night Is not
easy But when you get up And make
wudu And these days The water is cold
Right?
It's getting colder There's a hadith That actually
says The winter months Are the months of
the believer And there's a few reasons why
Number one is because The time for prayers
Is like squeezed So we can do basically
Dhuhr, Asr, Maghrib, Isha' And one wudu Okay?
Just don't have a hummus Okay?
And then Fajr of course is there And
the water you make wudu with Is cold
And so you get more reward For making
wudu with that Because it's not comfortable All
right?
You can fast Fajr till Maghrib Is a
lot shorter Than it is in the summer
So this hadith Is kind of explaining to
us Like this idea Of the benefit is
there But only for people Who are willing
to work for it And once you make
wudu In Fajr And then you sit there
And you pray And you're done praying There's
this feeling Of accomplishment When you say Salaamu
alaikum wa rahmatullah Salaamu alaikum wa rahmatullah It's
almost as if You climbed a mountain Right?
You climbed out of your bed But really
You scaled much more altitude Than a mountain
Right?
You climbed to Allah Salatul mi'raj al
mu'min So we understand As believers That hard
work Is part of the process And that's
what Dr. Mustafa is saying here That the
messengers That we look up to That we
follow They worked hard To enjoin patience Upon
oneself To remind yourself Allah says To be
patient In a good way What does it
mean To be patient In a good way?
Being patient And in a way That doesn't
announce And broadcast to everybody Look at how
patient I am Because you're sort of Deflating
the effect Of your patience We said last
night In heart work You forgive somebody And
you remind them That you forgave them That's
the Antithesis of forgiveness Forgiveness Is when you
You act as if Nothing happened Right?
Hey Don't worry about it Let bygones be
bygones It's forgotten Water under the bridge If
you say Something is forgotten You can't then
Remind somebody So with patience It's important This
is why Yaqub When Yusuf A.S. I
want you to think Of how difficult this
is You know a lot of us Kind
of feel like Oh it's easy to say
It's easier said than done Yaqub The story
of The story of the prophet Yaqub His
son For all he knew Was dead For
all he knew His other children His other
sons Stole One of his youngest children One
of his babies And went out with him
After promising They would take care of him
And left him for dead And they came
back Saying he's dead And they brought back
A * shirt Like And what does he
say?
He says I know I know That something
inside of you Has You're working on something
You're scheming This is a scheme But I'm
going to be patient He didn't just say
I'm going to be patient He said I'm
going to be patient With a beautiful Patience
When you look at the Tafsir What does
this mean?
It's a very rare Arabic expression You don't
find this Often times in the Quran Or
in the Hadith The Tafsir says It's patience
In a way Where the people around you
Can't tell that you're struggling That's patience That's
beautiful patience You're not broadcasting You're not fishing
For compliments You're not fishing For attention Ugh
What's wrong?
Nothing Well since you asked It's like Oh
no They didn't ask You groaned Right?
Demanding the ask Like that's why They said
what's wrong?
If you didn't Clear your throat Four times
They wouldn't have asked So being patient In
a way Now Some people will say Oh
but Then I need to vent I need
to be with people That's okay But did
you vent to Allah First or no?
Because if you Vent to other people Guess
what?
They'll listen They'll say oh man That sucks
Right?
And then eventually They'll say that's crazy That's
crazy They'll pick up the phone And say
that's crazy That person is not Going to
help you That person is listening And that
might feel good But then they're like That's
crazy What?
Oh my That's crazy They want to end
the conversation They're done They're done listening And
you're like Can you believe that?
They're like I can't believe That's crazy And
they move on Meanwhile You could have spent
like I don't know Five minutes Calling upon
the creator Of the heavens and the earth
Saying oh Allah You know You're the one
Who makes things easy Just make this easy
for me Right?
And then you can go Vent to somebody
And listen to how crazy Your situation is
Right?
So he says There are those Who have
a good patience Allah Ta'ala says And
then he says Paradise is the reward For
those who have patience Really the reality is
Subhanallah You're not actually patient For anything that
you're Going to get here One of my
teachers We used to go to him And
say like man Life is unfair And you
know We used to complain And it was
before class So we'd sit there And we're
like Just sitting with him And he's like
How is everything?
We were in college So we're complaining Life
is unfair sheikh And blah blah blah And
all this and that And he says yeah
If life was good Jannah wouldn't be as
good Like life just kind of Has to
be bad It's the way it is The
dunya is not meant To be perfect And
that's the reality That's why when people Start
talking about this Existential doom I'm like oh
my god What's going to happen?
I'm like I don't know But like Jannah
is where We're going to go So like
we'll figure it out We'll figure it out
Inshallah Right?
And the reality is Like if times are
tough If life is difficult Like halas We
just have to find power In our faith
and keep going Right?
Because Jannah is our Ultimate goal We're just
in a hotel Right now Sometimes it's a
nice hotel Sometimes it's a motel Things like
We just got to figure it out Until
we arrive At our final destination May Allah
make it easy He says patience Is the
best reaction To any external harm Done by
others It is a virtue That requires not
acting On the negative feeling That you have
How do you know You're patient?
You don't act You wait This is a
culture In which immediate action Is demanded Do
you have a statement?
Do you have a statement?
And if people say I don't have a
statement yet You're like How could you not
Have a statement yet?
You're like I just came out Of the
bathroom What happened?
Like you don't know The reality is Subhanallah
The Prophet He says Deliberateness is from Allah
And haste is from Shaitan So think about
How you respond To situations That you don't
like If you respond With haste You might
be Being influenced By somebody That's not your
friend And that's where The words come from
That's where Those things That hurt people Those
little daggers That we shoot out That's where
they come from You know Just because iMessage
has an Undo send feature Doesn't mean That
you can Act quickly It's best For you
and I And our spiritual health To just
give ourselves A second You know They say
Let the dust settle Can't see clearly When
there's so much Happening So much chaos And
commotion So you come home Or something happens
You get a message I've learned this From
my friends Who are older than me Which
by the way One of my best Advices
that I give To young people Especially Is
that you need To have friends That are
older than you You can't be all Part
of the same age group And you also
Should not be Like the old friend Because
you're not That wise You gotta have friends
That are older than you 5, 10, 15
years Because they're like They're like Road signs
later down They just tell you things You
know And you ask them And in the
moment Where you're completely Disheveled Emotionally You don't
know what They'll be like Look, I've been
through this Or they can say Hey, this
is actually Really serious You need to think
about it And that kind of That sage
experience Advice Is so invaluable It saves us
From so many mistakes Every time That I
Call someone Who's You know Older than me
And I ask for advice The response I
get Is Hmm And they start Asking questions
And if I don't know The answer They're
like What do you think about this?
Has this happened yet?
I say no They say just wait Just
be patient And that's not what The nefs
wants to hear The nefs wants to Spring
into action Fix the problem Solve it Handle
it Take care of it Right?
But The heart of a believer Says you
know what I need to give myself Time
to be able To listen To what it
is That my heart Is going to tell
me to do And in this moment It's
way too chaotic So he says patience Is
the best reaction Be a person of patience
You know Subhanallah And this is not to
say Anything critical Look at the worst calamity
To ever have happened On the face of
the earth The passing of the Prophet Muhammad
Sallallahu alayhi wasallam That's the worst thing To
ever have happened Was that the Prophet A
.S. Passed away Okay?
Both of them From the Kibara Sahaba Abu
Bakr And Umar R.A Many people Name
their kids Umar Abu Bakr is like You
know The Prophet A.S. Best friend Look
at the response To the passing Of the
Prophet A.S. Umar Is in the front
Of the masjid Word is spreading That the
Prophet Has died Okay?
People are coming To the masjid To figure
out What's going on Umar Out of his
strength And his love For the Prophet He
says He has not died He's yelling at
people He's saying He's not died Don't say
he's dead He's not died yet People say
What happened then?
He goes Well Just like Musa Went to
go to Allah And then came back To
his people The Prophet went to Allah And
he's going to come Back to us Just
You know what they say Like denial He
had so much love For the Prophet He
just did not want To hear it And
then People keep talking I think he died
He might have died I heard he died
He keeps hearing this He says Whoever says
He died I'm going to kill that person
He says that Finally Abu Bakr is sitting
In the back of the masjid He's quiet
Tears in his eyes You know why?
He just came From the house Of the
Prophet Peace be upon him His daughter Aisha
He just was the one That looked at
The lifeless body Of the messenger Kissed his
forehead And said You were beautiful in life
And you're beautiful in death He walks over
He sits Tears in his eyes And he
says Omar Everyone gets quiet He says Sit
down Omar like a child Sits Starts crying
Because he realizes If anyone knows It's Abu
Bakr Starts crying Abu Bakr recites the verse
And there are other prophets That came before
him Omar said I knew this verse But
when I heard it It was as if
I heard it For the first time Like
shook him Right?
What's the difference In that situation?
Omar was responding To the chaos of the
moment But Abu Bakr understood The importance of
patience Scholars learn They later said About that
specific moment They said If Abu Bakr did
not Gather everybody Then We could have seen
Really serious division But here's the crazy part
Abu Bakr gets up And he announces The
prophet Has passed away Whoever worshipped him Know
that he has died But whoever worships Allah
He's ever living Will never die This is
his best friend Saying this statement Okay?
Now you fast forward And the tribes of
Medina Are all trying to figure out Okay
There's grieving There's mourning They're trying to figure
out What life is like The companions literally
They said that There was no light In
the city anymore It was just dark The
prophet Has gone Like who do we answer
questions People are sitting They're weeping And then
the question Starts to come up Which is
what?
Who's the leader?
Who's the leader?
And you have some of these tribes These
clans In Medina That are trying to figure
out Okay Like who's going to be in
charge?
And Omar He learned from that day The
importance of being Deliberate and patient He didn't
freak out and say I swear to God
If you leave Because they were starting to
say You know what?
Maybe all the people Who were governors before
Should just become governors again Like we went
through Our prophetic era He's gone You were
a governor You were a governor The tribal
leaders Let's all just have A committee of
leaders Right?
Like basically suggesting A masjid board Basically Omar
says no way He takes these people To
Abu Bakr al-Siddiq Who's sitting in a
garden Just maybe 200 yards Outside of Masjid
Nabawi And he goes It's called It's the
garden of the tribe And he says How
many of you If I were to tell
you That this man Was our imam Our
leader The one who led the prayers While
the Prophet Was sick How many of you
Would agree to take him As your leader?
They all said we're good We sign in
Like put our hands in Give bayah We're
done Abu Bakr In that moment On the
day that The Prophet Passed away on a
Monday He taught Omar How to be Deliberate
and patient Not to respond Not to react
So patience is always The best response In
any extreme situation That comes to you from
outside It is a virtue that requires Not
acting negatively It is the right reaction Toward
one's difficult Socioeconomic circumstances It is the appropriate
reaction Towards physical pain Imam Ghazali takes patience
One step further Having patience against One desire
to do wrong One's desire to sin Especially
when sinning habits Have been formed He says
that sin and habit Are two of the
soldiers of shaitan When they go hand in
hand They have an alliance Against the soldiers
of Allah They are a force to reckon
with And mere religiosity Cannot fix them If
the sin is easy to perform It becomes
even more difficult To have patience And then
he gives the examples Of these sins He
says the dynamics Of a healthy relationship With
oneself and others Is based around controlling the
tongue The abuse of which Is the reason
why Many relations go sour It is also
the reason Why many achievements Are undermined Because
of what one says When Mu'adh bin
Jabal Asked the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam About
a single deed That can pave an entire
way To paradise The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam
Enumerated the pillars of Islam Emphasizing charity And
performing prayer Yet he said On top of
everything comes Restraining the tongue The price for
letting A tongue loose is very high It
is tantamount To giving up One's potential place
In paradise I want to read to you
guys One or two hadith And then we'll
go to Q&A By the way, the
Q&A is open We've got a lot
of questions 30 and up If you go
to slido.com Type in 30 and up
Inshallah I want to give you some Perspective
On why patience With sins is really important
Number one Is a hadith That Ibn Abbas
narrates for us It's an authentic hadith And
he tells us That the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi
Wasallam He says That there is not a
single Believing servant of Allah Ma min abdin
mu'minin Illa walahu dhanbun Every single mu'min And
by the way That word is kind of
An indication here as well Because Muslim Is
like the entry level believer Mu'min is like
a strong believer So he says Ma min
abdin mu'minin There is not a single servant
Of Allah that is strong In their faith
Walahu dhanbun Except that they have A single
sin Almost like attached to them Ya'taduhu That
it is Habitually part of their life Alfainata
ba'da alfainata Aw dhanbun huwa muqeemun alayhi La
yufarikuhu hatta yufarikud dunya That they commit this
sin habitually And it never leaves them Until
they die Like there is a sin That
everybody basically Whether it's one sin Or whether
it's like The act of disobedience In different
ways Throughout your life That everybody carries with
them And it's different for each person Okay
And he says In explaining this It's actually
a very interesting hadith Because in some ways
It kind of like It kind of like
validates you Like you're like wow That's crazy
I didn't realize That this was part of
the Divine wisdom of Allah That this is
something That we struggle with But in other
ways It's a little bit scary Because you're
like Okay So is there any point Like
how do I fix this So the Prophet
peace be upon him He says Innal mu'mina
khuliqa muftanan The believer was created Tested This
is part of your status You're always gonna
be tested Don't ask why life's not fair
Because it was never actually Part of the
agreement Alright I know it's kind of a
sour deal Tawaban nasiyan idha dhukira dhakara The
test that you have Is three parts Number
one Will you be repentant Or will you
be forgetful That's the first part Sorry it's
two Will you be repentant or forgetful So
when you commit the sin That's been stuck
to you For your whole life Are you
just gonna like Submit to it and concede
And say like Oh this is who I
am I'm just not a person who prays
Or are you gonna have the courage Because
tawba takes courage Are you gonna have the
courage To say oh Allah Again Again ya
Allah Right Like I'm so disappointed in myself
ya Allah Please forgive me Like is that
Which one are we gonna be The one
that prefers The comfort of ignoring the sin
Or we deal with the Courage of having
to come to terms with it Every single
time And then he says Idha dhukira dhakara
The true believer is the one that when
He or she is reminded Of that sin
They remember Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala They
turn back to Allah That's the first hadith
that I wanted to share The next one
Is that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala Made
this very difficult life And that guilt and
that pain And all of the anxiety that
we experience As a result of it He
made it part of the design strategy When
he says Qala ma yusibul muslima Min nasbin
wala wasbin Wala hammin wala huznin Wow He
says nothing harms a believer Whether it's illness
or hardship So you get sick Anyone here
sick right now Raise your hand Sickness Cough
Who has allergies?
Texas allergies Yeah alright mashallah Okay So you
know you're cursing your allergies You know that
day where there's dust in the air And
you're like I hate this I hate my
nose Wish I could just you know get
rid of it Got this headache Nasbin wala
wasbin Any affliction Any hardship Any illness that's
afflicting you And then he says Wala hammin
wala huznin Not just physical How many of
us have anxiety over things How many of
us have grief that we're experiencing Subhanallah He
says that anxiety That grief That sickness That
hardship He says Wala ghammin hatta ash shawkati
yushakuha Even something as small as a thorn
That just pokes you in the hand Or
pokes you in the leg You walk by
a rose A rose bush And it just
gets you so quickly He says Illa kafarallahu
biha min khatayahu Accept that Allah will erase
your sin as a result of that You
know a lot of us have heard that
Like Allah will forgive you for your difficulty
Even the prick of a thorn But the
full hadith is so comprehensive Anything in your
life that causes you discomfort Erases your sins
Don't curse your discomforts Be patient with them
Don't curse the things that are cleaning your
book Be patient with them Right Generally speaking
Of course if there's something that's critical That's
life threatening Okay we deal with things as
they come But once we've done our part
And dealt with it as it came We
say what I'm gonna be patient Another financial
issue I told you guys about the water
heater My water heater exploded Alhamdulillah I have
to say it You know I always tell
people this Look As a Muslim we're very
lucky We're very lucky You know why Because
we believe in Qadr We believe in predestination
Like we're like nothing I could have done
You know like your mind starts playing tricks
What could I have done You're like nothing
actually Nothing So I wake up in the
morning My water heater is spraying water in
my garage Pre car wash Okay Luckily I
caught it early Because it was Fajr time
It was time for me to take the
kids to school So I'm like okay I
called the plumber Came out in like 30
minutes I was like Allahu Akbar Dude this
is awesome I knew praying Fajr on time
works Guy comes Takes care of it Quick
charge You know relative to what it could
have been 100 bucks I was like okay
What kind of I'm not gonna ask any
questions You know I'm like okay You know
you found it It fell off a truck
Okay it fell off a truck Take a
shower Water's warm Alhamdulillah Okay good Travel to
Toronto Have to go teach a class there
Mehreen calls My wife Musa just had basketball
practice Sweaty She goes hey the water's freezing
You know the only thing Worse than a
broken water heater Is a broken water heater
When you're in Toronto I go okay She
goes yeah it's cold Musa's not showering And
he Like Needs a shower after practice okay
I'm sitting here Get back Call the same
plumbing company The guy goes Oh yeah whatever
that guy fixed Was not the problem I'm
like This is great news Thank you Comes
and checks it out You know what he
says I've never seen this problem before Oh
excellent I love being the first Alhamdulillah Keeps
adding Keeps adding By the way Taking cold
showers And showering at the gym Right The
whole time And my wife and I Are
just sitting there laughing And we're like Subhanallah
Subhanallah You know with With great privilege Comes
great challenges Ends up He has to replace
The water heaters Two of them Of course
Because whoever built the house Thought 50 gallons
is not enough This house needs 100 gallons
of hot water Right Genius David Weekly Mashallah
Okay The point being is What ended up
thinking What I ended up thinking Was gonna
be 100 dollars Ended up being A lot
more than that And now we're eating lentils
For the next couple months But the point
is Subhanallah If I saw that In any
other way Except that Allah Was clearing off
my sins Then I would be In a
very dark place But me My wife My
kids We all believe in Allah And we
believe in The Prophet Peace be upon him
So at least that night As we're sitting
there Mourning My bank account Praying janazah over
What was once A checking account We sit
there and we say You know what Allah
If this is the reason Why you took
away all my sins I'll do it again
And I'm not trying to be dramatic I'm
not trying to be inspirational I mean that
Wallahi If this is it Ya Allah If
this is it If this trial That you
put me in That you put in my
path I'm walking And there's a trial If
that's the reason Ya Allah Why you clear
my book Of all of my sins Lord
knows how many there are Oh Allah That's
enough for me That's enough And for everyone
in this room You have a different thing
In your path For me It's water heaters
For you It could be Job instability It
could be Not finding a spouse It could
be Chronic illness It could be Family drama
and trauma It could be You name it
You know You name I mean really like
We all could go on the room And
have a different test That we have Everyone's
struggling with Right But maybe that test And
you dealing with it In a beautiful Patient
way Is the reason why On the day
of judgment Allah will tell you Enter in
peace You dealt with it patiently Right And
on that day You're gonna look back And
be like What water heater What test What
trial What sickness Subhanallah Every second Every moment
Every instance Of patience Is not forgotten by
Allah You will forget it But Allah will
not forget it May Allah give us To
be able to be patient In moments that
we find difficult Okay let's do some questions
And some answers inshallah Alright number one On
the topic of patience Any advice If someone
you're talking to For marriage Keeps ignoring your
messages sometimes So No it's a good question
It's a good question So you need to
determine What the reason is Right Are they
like Are they actually working Like are they
busy With something If they are Then I
think you need To have a conversation And
figure out What is the good expectation To
have For communication If they're not This could
be An indication that It's not a good
fit Alright Allah make it easy I know
Islam tells us Not to remind our parents
Of the wrongs they commit But if the
wrongs They are committing Are very big How
should I go about that Yeah so Islam
Of course We talk about Respecting And listening
to parents Of course But remember Every person
has A Haqq Every person And Islam does
not give This is a very important point
Can everyone Can everyone lock in real quick
While Islam gives Certain people In relationships Responsibilities
And rights over others Islam never gives The
right To anybody To take away The rights
of people Okay Understand this Islam gives Certain
relationships Right So for me as a parent
I have a right Over my children Okay
That if I ask my children To do
something As long as it's not haram Then
they should do it So if I tell
my son Hey Musa Can you go and
give Mama the cup He should listen to
me And Islam says As my son He
should listen But Islam never ever Endorses people
Oppressing the rights Of other people You understand
So the idea That a person Can oppress
somebody And say I can do this Because
I'm your mom Or your mother-in-law
Or your brother Or your child Islam never
sanctions that One abd Cannot violate The haq
Of another abd It's not okay Islam never
ever Give The only individual That is allowed
To institute A removal Of a right of
somebody Is a court A judge The judge
Can put somebody In prison Based on The
fact that A crime With evidence Etc But
individuals No Nobody has a right To take
away Any rights Even parents Even parents Okay
So While parents Are the highest level Of
human respect That we have In our family
Hierarchy There is no right For a person
To take away The right of somebody else
So when this person Says They're committing wrongs
And they're very big The first question That
I would explore Is Is this wrong Like
an individual wrong That they're doing Or is
this a wrong That is spilling over And
affecting Other people And if it's An individual
wrong There's a different approach But if it's
a wrong That is spilling over And affecting
Other people There might be A little bit
more Urgency Because you have to Restore the
right Of the people That are being Transgressed
Okay So for example I always ask this
question This is a great question You guys
are going to love This one I'm standing
there Talking to two Perspective You know Spouses
Like a husband Talking to a potential wife
Etc Right Guy and a girl Talking for
marriage And I ask them I say who
I ask the guy especially I say who
would you listen to If your mom And
your wife Told you different things No just
put them In the hot spot Because I'm
like It's going to happen So I'm like
Who would you Who would you listen to
So So Yeah one of the guys Unfortunately
was like Without even thinking Was like mama
Immediately Which again Comes from a good place
Right Understood I get it But I said
Is your mom always right Or is she
wrong sometimes He goes no She's wrong sometimes
I said so Really the answer is what
He goes my wife I said no You're
not getting it He said the answer is
Whoever is right You take the side Of
whoever is right Like sometimes Your wife will
be right And your mom will be wrong
Sometimes Your mom will be right And your
wife will be wrong And sometimes Your wife
and your mom will be right And you'll
be wrong Husband Like it's just a reality
No one's perfect No one's right all the
time And part of being a person That
understands Is that you have to be able
To say look My job is to make
sure That the Haqq is served Whatever is
true is served I can't let a single
person In my life Oppress another person Not
on my watch So I'm not going to
let my wife Oppress my mom I'm not
going to let my mom Oppress my wife
I'm not going to oppress Either of them
And neither of them No one can oppress
me Oppression free Right That laugh was a
little bit too Yeah So Or You can
take the oppression If you want right Be
the martyr But you understand What I'm saying
right So Understanding Sharia has Default Understandings Of
what people's rights are But there are always
Going to be these caveats Of understanding In
Islamic law That Islam Quran Hadith Never give
the right Of one person To take away
the right Of another person Ever Ever ever
ever Okay Allahu A'ala When you talked
about How when people Humble themselves And raise
others What if you Humble yourself To the
point of anxiety And make others More happy
than yourself Yeah Islam also Encourages humility But
does not encourage Self-deprecation Allah says We
gave honor To the human being We gave
honor To the human being You can't dishonor
What Allah has honored If you say No
I'm garbage I'm worthless I'm this I'm that
I'm no Right The companion That told the
prophet That I'm worthless I'm ugly He said
You are You are Invaluable With Allah So
a human being Should never There is no
Humility That is so Powerful That it should
make A person feel So low Right Because
you are The creation of Allah Subhanahu wa
ta'ala And he gave you Hidayah Hidayah
He gave you Islam Right He gave you
this Beautiful Experience in life Subhanallah He gave
you the ability To walk outside And to
hear the The birds chirping In the morning
And to see the stars Glistening at night
And he gave you the ability To taste
cold water And to sit and relax With
a beautiful Fresh wind Like Who are you
to say That you're not Something special Allah
gave you these things Right So we don't
We don't discount What Allah gave us Okay
But we Humble ourselves Humility Is what Well
Let's look at arrogance Arrogance is what Arrogance
is two things It's بطر الحق و غمط
الناس It's when you reject The truth And
you look down On people So humility is
Accepting the truth Even when it's hard And
it's Never looking down On somebody That's true
humility If you can do those Two things
You're humble Never reject the truth Even when
it goes Against you And never look down
On anybody Always find a reason To find
good In somebody Always الله أعلم Okay Next
one I feel scared That I do Acts
of worship Because I want Something from Allah
I fear that I will stop Once he
grants it So It's not bad To do
acts of worship Because you want Something from
Allah That's not bad Right That's part of
the That's part of the Equation And The
fear is Coming from a good place But
all you have to do Is just translate
The desire To gratitude That's it And so
just ask yourself One question Okay Let's say
that you pray For Allah to give you
something Let's pray that Allah Ta'ala gives
it to you What do you do?
Alhamdulillah Good And then you shift The desire
and the yearning To fear of losing Which
is gratitude You thank Allah And you reflect
about What that has given you Right So
you pray to Allah For a job Allah
gives you a job And then you Every
day you go to work You remind yourself
You strategize You say you know what Every
day You can put it up on your
mirror Put it on a post-it note
Remember when you prayed for this Alright One
of my teachers Used to say that He
said remember When you prayed for this He
said it at a nikah It was so
amazing He said think about How much you
prayed For this moment To get married to
this person And Allah gave you that Think
about when you walk into work How much
you prayed for that You begged Allah for
that And think about all the du'as
You made along the way Right School Grad
school Job Interview Whatever Think about how much
you begged Allah How many Ramadans You spent
seeking from Allah And when you think about
that For even 10 seconds As you're driving
in Alhamdulillah Is going to be Flowing from
your lips Alright Wallahu a'lam Why do
I feel a tension in my body Like
it's Like I cannot relax It feels like
anxiety And I can't focus in prayer It's
when I overthink Yeah I mean I think
therapy is A wonderful solution For somebody that
is Consumed By thoughts that make them anxious
Right It could be a lot of things
though Could be environment Could be diet Could
be something medical Could be something And I
think that Starting to explore What is happening
Of course spiritual Affects all of that Right
We believe that du'a and salah Are
like the baseline The foundation But there's also
things That can make Like if I'm drinking
A ton of caffeine All the time And
I feel like I'm jittery Right There's a
little bit of a Clear rationale there So
What you eat What you put in your
body How much you sleep All of these
things There's a reason why Allah Ta'ala
says وَجَعَلْنَا الَّيْلَ لِبَاسًا وَجَعَلْنَا النَّهَارَ مَعَاشًا We
made the night As a covering Like sleep
We made the day As a time to
work Right This hyper fixation With staying up
all night Is not healthy Allah Ta'ala
even said So in the Quran Right We
made the day Time for work We made
the night A covering Like take it easy
Chill Relax Go to sleep Go to sleep
Everyone has FOMO Nothing's happening I know people
That stayed up all night During the election
Watching those results I was like Nothing's gonna
change Between now and seven Just go to
bed Right So But for this person I
would say Do an inventory Of your lifestyle
See how you are Meet with a professional
That you vibe with You know Someone that
you have Good rapport with In the name
of Allah May Allah Ta'ala give you
strength And make it easy Try to take
that step forward And don't be too hard
On yourself Take steps Right Baby steps One
win at a time Inshallah Oh
God We have to go to prayer So
I'm gonna say this one And then How
do you pursue someone In a halal kind
of way That you're interested in Online But
still trying to be chill About it They
have a kind of Large following I'm sorry
Okay Just You know I guess make dua
Do things the right way Shoot your shot
And then You know Expect no response And
keep it moving If you get a response
Bismillah If you don't Then If you get
a response Try it If you don't Then
It is what it is Again Islam is
wonderful Because you can't change Anything that was
meant to be So you just kind of
Have to move on And say This is
I guess What Allah wanted for me And
just trust That there's something better Inshallah Okay
We ask Allah Ta'ala To accept from
us And to keep us in His good
graces And under His mercy We ask Allah
Ta'ala To make us those That are
always pleasing to Him And that are patient
Throughout whatever He puts us through And that
we learn from those moments And get closer
to Him Ameen Ameen Subhanaka Allahumma bihamdik Nashhadu
an la ilaha illa anta Nastaghfiruka wa atubu
ilayk Wassalamu alaikum Wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh So
Isha prayer Is in just about two minutes
Inshallah So we'll head over To the musalla
You can go through This way The hallway
here For those of you who are Sitting
on the back tracks If you can help
us Please If you can help us