AbdelRahman Murphy – Thirty & Up – Treasury Of Imam Al-Ghazli #11
AI: Summary ©
The speakers stress the importance of finding deeper relationships and staying away from prohibited activities to protect one's health and prevent accidents. They also emphasize the need to protect one's wealth and defer their decisions to oneself. The speakers emphasize the importance of trusting Allah and not trying to avoid negative consequences. They also mention upcoming events and events in October, including a community event and a social event. They encourage people to attend and join them for prayer, but also emphasize the importance of staying away from harm and deferring decisions to oneself.
AI: Summary ©
Okay, salam alaikum.
Ooh, loud.
Bismillah, bismillah, walhamdulillah, wassalatu wassalamu ala rasoolillah.
Welcome home, everybody.
As-salamu alaykum for coming through tonight.
Beautiful night here on Tuesday for our continuation
of our reading of this amazing text called
Qunooz al-Ghazali or Qunooz al-Ghazali, The
Treasury of Imam Ghazali compiled by Dr. Mustafa
Abu Suayy.
So, last week, alhamdulillah, we were able to
have a a guest, Sheikh Naveed Aziz.
We had a wonderful conversation, alhamdulillah, about the
nature of relationships and how all relationships need
to go beyond just the bare minimum and
the transactionality of those relationships.
They need to find something deeper in order
to keep that bond as strong as possible.
This week, our conversation gets a little bit
different and it's less about it's less about
the direct relationship that a person might have
with one another, but it talks more about
the relationship capacity that a person has based
on their own internal spiritual strength and state,
right?
So, we believe as a part of our
understanding, the Prophet, alayhissalatu wassalam, he said, inna
fil jasadi mudgha, idha salahat, salahal jasadu kullu.
He said that in the body, there is
an organ, there is a piece of flesh,
that if that piece is good, if it's
healthy, then everything else will be healthy.
Wa idha fasadat, fasadat al jasadu kullu.
And if it is corrupted, then everything else
will be corrupted, the body and everything else.
Ala wahi alqalb, he said, verily, it is
the heart.
So, this hadith, very well-known hadith narration,
very strong narration, it imparts upon us a
really really important belief, which is that nothing
can be successful, nothing can be wholesome or
good, if a person's heart is not good.
And so, if anyone wants to know like
why things are not going well for them
or why things are not, the first place
they need to look is internally, the absolute
first place.
It's too easy to blame other people, you
know, it's too easy to look around and
say, what is happening to me, but it's
less easy, it's much more difficult for a
person to say, what am I contributing to
this in terms of my own problems, right?
The self-inflicted wounds.
And really, if every relationship, whether it was
marriage, or whether it was work, or friendships,
or anything, if everybody was just a little
bit more concerned about their own spiritual state,
as opposed to what other people are doing,
then we would find a lot more solutions,
right?
If I came to the table saying, what
am I doing wrong?
And they came to the table saying, what
am I doing wrong?
Then we would both come to the table
willing to fix our own issues.
But if I'm coming to the table saying,
you're doing this, and the response is the
same, there's very few of those situations are
going to be remedied or rectified.
So here, Dr. Mustafa, he includes a passage
from the Ihya, from the Ihya al-Muddin.
And this passage talks about the importance of
being a righteous person, being a pious person.
We talked about the word righteousness or piety.
And these are words that are familiar, but
they're still in a weird way abstract, right?
So if I say pious or righteous, everybody
generally thinks of an image in their head,
and usually those images are physical in their
meaning, right?
So if I say a righteous man, a
lot of people instantly start to imagine, like
a person with a beard and a kufi,
and maybe a thobe, and that person's in
the masjid, and they're praying.
And all of those are in fact or
could be in fact like aspects of righteousness.
If you say a righteous woman, right?
We figure what the dress is, the hijab,
the abaya, etc.
Praying, reading Qur'an, the masjid.
So all these things are not wrong, right,
in and of themselves, but righteousness and piety
go far beyond the external.
It doesn't mean that the external are not
important, but they go far beyond that.
And the Prophet, peace be upon him, he
tells us that a person's true piety, a
person's true righteousness is not limited in the
way that they dress, or to the way
that they speak, or the way that they
talk and walk, but it's everything.
It's the moral compass that's inside of them
that pushes them, and that directs their behavior,
and their actions, and holds them back from
certain things, okay?
So Imam Ghazali here, I'm gonna go ahead
and read this, and we'll talk about how
he gave us levels.
You know, everything in life has a stage,
right?
One, two, three, step one, two, three.
Nothing is accomplished at the end of something,
right?
By skipping the beginning or the middle.
You always have to go through stages.
If you wanna get good at something, you
have to start in a stage that might
actually be, doesn't even look like what you
were hoping to accomplish, right?
For people, this weekend we had the run
for refugees, right?
Which is like a popular now, Alhamdulillah, Dallas
staple, third year.
And I showed up to this run for
refugees, I was a liar.
I was not going to run, okay?
I showed up fully capable and ready to
walk for the refugees, okay?
Meaning that my intention was not to run.
But then, subhanAllah, I get there, and my
son starts to run, and he's seven, and
so if he starts to run, then I
gotta run.
And I have never run a 5K before
Saturday, right?
Yeah, I know, and I finished, and I'm
here, I'm alive.
I made it, and I actually had a
decent time.
But he beat me, Alhamdulillah.
But the point being is that everything takes,
if I said, you know what, the first
thing I'm ever gonna run is a marathon.
The first thing I'm ever gonna run is
a marathon.
Then many people who have run before, right,
runners would say like, hey, you're skipping some
steps.
You know, you might wanna try running a
mile, right?
See if you can finish that, and then
a 5K, 10K, half marathon.
See how you feel, and then, yeah, you
can work up to that.
Nobody ever starts by saying, I'm gonna reach
the highest, most ultimate goal.
So Imam Ghazali, same thing with spirituality.
Many people aspire to become spiritually elite without
realizing that there are steps along the way.
So what does he say?
He says, إِنَّ الْوَرَعَ لَهُ أَوَّلٌ وَهُوَ الْإِمْتِنَعُ
عَمَّا حَرَّمْتَهُ He says, the beginning of piety,
the first rung on the ladder, is when
a person, الْإِمْتِنَعُ عَمَّا حَرَّمَتْهُ الْفَتْوَى The beginning
of piety is when a person can say
that they have the strength and the ability
to stay away from the things that have
been prohibited from Allah and His Messenger.
Right?
That this is what the legal code says.
So the beginning, the first step into this
journey of becoming a spiritually strong person with
Allah is asking yourself one question.
Do I have the ability to stay away
from the things that are prohibited?
Okay?
And this isn't talking about doing this at
an infinity, you know, at a level that's
infinite, meaning that you don't ever falter.
No, of course, everyone makes mistakes.
But this is talking about as a behavioral
practice, as a practice of principle, do you
stay away from these things that are impermissible?
Right?
That's the entry, that's the introduction to piety.
And then he says, this is the piety
of those who are upright.
He says, وَهُوَ وَرَعُوا الْعُدُولِ وَلَهُ غَايَةٌ وَهُوَ
وَرَعُوا الصِّدِّقِينَ This is the piety of those
who are truthful in their faith.
It's no small deal.
Right?
He says, this is no small accomplishment.
If you can stay away from things that
are haram, and from the side of responsibilities
just kind of, you know, what's the word,
just pass.
Right?
Just the five prayers, just this, but you're
staying away from the haram.
He says, you're from the صِدِّقِينَ You're like
from the truthful in your faith.
Okay, so that's the first step which is,
piety is so all-encompassing that when a
person puts forth any effort, Allah rewards you
by giving you a higher status than really
we deserve.
Right?
If you pray, Allah gives you more reward.
You don't get one reward for prayer.
You get one times, 70 times.
If you pray in Jummah, you get more.
Right?
If it's more difficult, you get more.
If you make wudu with cold water, you
get more.
If your feet are hurting, you get more.
If your knees are aching, 30 and up.
Right?
If your knees are sore, if your back
is hurting, you get more.
For every جزاء من جنس العمل, every effort,
every atom of difficulty that you encounter in
doing good, Allah rewards you for that.
It's not like, oh, I prayed maghrib, so
what did I get?
You get one maghrib.
No, you pray maghrib, you get thousands of
good deeds based on how you were able
to traverse the path of difficulty.
Okay?
But here's the thing.
As much as Allah is generous, as much
as He is infinitely generous by rewarding us
beyond measure for accomplishing what we would call
just from a purely identifiable purpose, a practical
purpose, He's calling it the bare minimum.
I don't mean to denigrate it, but I'm
saying the entry level.
Allah gives us reward for doing what is
entry level.
Imam Ghazali is saying it is not a
sustainable lifestyle if you want to be close
to Allah.
It's not sustainable.
If a person wants to be close to
Allah, they cannot settle for just doing the
bare minimum.
Because maybe for a while it'll work.
Maybe it'll work for a while, but eventually
something's gonna happen.
Either the person is going to become desensitized,
the person is going to become lazy or
tired, you're gonna hit traffic, it's gonna be
a particularly long day or long week, and
you're going to have that thing that's just
gonna bump you off of the track, the
straight path that you've been on.
And that bump that you encounter is going
to be so unprotected.
You're not gonna have any form of pushing
back because you're just doing the bare minimum
that that bump is gonna push you off
of this bare minimum track that you've been
on.
My teacher used to say this very practically.
He would say, what's the purpose of the
sunnah prayer?
The sunnah prayer, we know, is not obligatory.
If you don't pray sunnah, you're not sinned.
Right?
It's called sunnah.
Sunnah, one of its meanings is that if
a person does it, they get reward.
And if they don't do it, there is
no fault, there's no blame.
That's the definition of sunnah in Islamic law.
Okay?
However, my teacher said, and this is amazing,
I love how really intelligent people think, not
me, him.
He said, praying sunnah is the best protection
for your fault if you regularly do it.
And we all were like, what does that
mean?
You know, we're like, we thought we were
like listening to Yoda, just speaking in like
kind of like code.
Right?
And we're like...
And so we asked Mr. Shaykh, what do
you mean?
Can you elaborate?
He said, if you only pray fard, it's
good.
That's what Allah asked for you to do.
That's what Allah obligated upon you.
However, traffic, life situation, running late, it happens.
We've all been there.
And now all of a sudden you're looking
at the clock, and you're looking at the
time to pray, and you're doing the math.
You become a really good mathematician as you
start to pray and get older.
You're like, I have exactly six minutes.
Right?
I have 54 minutes.
I have to do this.
I have to do that.
And I have to pick up the kids,
and I got to drop them off.
And I got to make sure, do I
have wudu?
Right?
And you're like, you know, yeah, I have
wudu.
You know, you go check, make sure you're
listening for the toilet.
Is it refilling?
Okay, yeah, I have to make wudu.
There's all these things that happen.
And then if you're only, if the time
that you allot for, for fard is the
bare minimum, eventually life will overcome you.
It will overtake you, and you will miss
the fard prayer.
And this happens.
No one has to raise their hands.
We're not, this isn't that kind of support
group.
Right?
Prayer Misters Anonymous, you know, PMA.
But it is what it is.
We're all adults here.
We've lived long enough.
And we've all missed prayer out of our
own poor planning and negligence.
Right?
Could have been done better.
So my teacher said, if a person lives
life on the edge, eventually they fall off
the edge.
But if a person lives life while accommodating
for things like sunnah, and while saying, you
know what?
I don't just need four minutes to pray.
I actually need 10 minutes or 15 minutes.
I need to make wudu.
I got to find a spot.
I got to pray my sunnah.
Then I have to get up and pray
my fard.
And then I have to get up after
praying my fard and pray my sunnah.
That entire block of time takes much longer
than just the fard prayer which takes a
few minutes.
But now if you get pushed off track,
by 10 minutes, you didn't miss your fard
prayer.
You just missed the sunnah which is not
consequential if you miss it anyways.
So my teacher was saying that if you
live your life with the bare minimum in
mind, eventually you won't even be doing the
bare minimum.
But if you live your life with the
bare minimum plus one, plus a little bit,
then when life throws something at you, you
will be prepared.
And you will have a buffer to absorb
the contact and keep running, right?
It was a football country, right?
The yards after the catch, right?
Yards after the contact.
The person bumps you and you keep going,
right?
The greatest athletes learn how to absorb contact
and keep playing.
Finish the layup, run, keep the run going.
Spiritually, the greatest Muslims have to learn how
to do that as well, okay?
So he says the base and the foundation
of this is to remember to stay away
from the things that Allah has prohibited.
Now he says the next level are those
people which are the friends of Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala.
And he says those people, وَذَلِكَ هُوَ الْإِمْتِنَعُ
مِنْ كُلِّ مَا لَيْسَ لِلَّهِ مِمَّا أُخِذَ بِشَهْوَةٍ
He says these people are able to not
only stay away from the things that are
definitively haram, categorically haram.
He says but these people when they're engaging
in their life, they're walking down the path,
they're also able to look at a situation
and say, okay, this thing legally might not
be haram so to speak.
I could probably find a ruling or I
could probably, I've heard that it's not bad,
right?
Just staying up late, what's the issue?
Just having another plate of food, what's the
issue?
It's just spending a little bit more than
I should, what's the issue?
And technically all of the examples I gave
are not impermissible.
A person can stay up late as long
as they don't miss Fajr, right?
A person can eat more if they want
to as long as they don't cause themselves
sickness as a result of it.
A person can spend more than they should
as long as it's not affecting their zakat,
right?
Two and a half percent annually on saved
wealth and then after that you're allowed to
buy technically whatever you want, right?
Charity and sadaqah, donating to relief efforts in
Gaza, donating to relief efforts, building wells, building
schools, that's not obligatory, right?
So you could technically live your life by
just paying two and a half percent being
like, that's all I have to do.
But he says that person has put a
cap on their own growth when it comes
to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
They've put a cap.
Allah does not mandate that a person has
to read, for example, the seerah, the life
of the Prophet ﷺ.
It's not mandatory in the Qur'an.
Allah did not mandate that a person has
to read a certain amount of pages of
the Qur'an every day.
This is not a mandatory thing.
But if a person doesn't do this, what
becomes the state of their heart after a
few months or years?
Dehydrated, completely and totally withered.
And then they start to wonder.
They say, you know, I do all of
the things that I'm supposed to do.
I was just doing my son's homework with
him.
Sorry, he was doing it.
My son and I, I was watching my
son as he was doing his homework, okay?
And we've all been in school.
And for those of us who have kids,
we've all seen the people that do their
homework just so they can turn something in.
And those who do their homework so that
they actually benefit and learn from whatever they're
supposed to be learning from.
So there have been some nights, and you
know kids, they're temperamental, just like us, really.
And my son, there are some nights where
he writes with the penmanship of like Walt
Whitman.
It's like beautiful, right?
And there are some nights where he writes
like a doctor.
It's completely illegible.
And I look at him and I say,
no offense, Dr. Salman.
And I look at him and I say,
and I say, Habibi, your teacher's not going
to be able to read that.
And you know what he says?
It's done, isn't it?
I did it.
I can read it.
And again, truth be told, he's in second
grade.
You know what?
He probably, his teacher probably won't call me.
My wife's also the vice principal.
So teacher probably won't call me and probably
won't complain about his handwriting.
But I know that that exercise was pointless.
The point of the exercise, right?
Now you purposefully, willingly, completely neglected what the
actual benefit was supposed to be.
You were supposed to actually do the exercise
and benefit from it.
Instead, you use the same amount of time,
the same amount of time, think of this,
to do something and obtain nothing at all.
Now, you ready for this?
It's easy for us to pick on kids,
but we do the same thing.
How long does it take to pray properly?
Four minutes, five minutes?
How long does it take to rush through
prayer?
Four minutes, five minutes?
What's the difference?
Thirty seconds?
Forty-five seconds?
I saw someone here today driving out the
parking lot, speeding, and I stopped them.
I actually got in front of the car.
I was like, stop, and they stopped.
And I walked over them, and I wasn't
going to yell, and I said, look, wherever
you're going, I promise you, driving five miles
per hour faster in the parking lot is
not going to get you there faster.
But you're putting kids' lives in danger.
You're going to hit someone's car.
You're going to do something dumb that you
regret.
And you realize that if you look at
Google Maps and you find that ETA on
there, it's not going down at all because
you floored your car.
You floored the pedal to go there.
I said, you wasted all of that for
what?
It's the impression of efficiency.
When we speed through our prayers, we're not
actually accomplishing anything faster.
We're just skipping out on the benefit.
So Imam al-Ghazali, he says, a person
enters into the spiritual path by stopping what
is prohibited.
But they grow in the same path and
become more of a beneficiary when they realize
that whatever they're doing, if they did it
with purpose and with intention, they would find
a yield that was much more different than
when they do it absentmindedly.
Just like my son's homework.
Just like how we behave.
I know that we pick on kids because
it's easy, but it's the same thing with
adults.
And so Imam al-Ghazali, he finishes and
he keeps continuing.
He says, so what then is the intentionality?
What is the part of your soul where
you can benefit and derive the most?
It's not only staying away from things that
are haram because quite frankly you already know
that this is bad.
Imam al-Ghazali, he's not trying to be,
what's the word, condescending.
He's not saying like, oh, you know.
But he says, look, if you have an
ayah or a hadith, if you have a
verse or a statement of the Prophet ﷺ,
and it says this is impermissible, he's like,
it's already laid out for you.
What's even more impressive than that, that's impressive.
But what's even more impressive is when you're
able to hold yourself back from something that
doesn't actually have a source or a text,
but you know, you know that when you
indulge in this, it takes away from your,
the health of your heart.
You know that.
You know that as a result of staying
up late and watching things, that your Fajr
is going to suffer.
You went from the Fajr of a person
who's aware, who's cognizant, to the Fajr of
a zombie.
Where you pray Fajr and you're like, did
I, how many rakah did I just pray?
Right?
You and I know that.
You and I both know, Ramadan is coming
soon, may Allah give us Ramadan.
Five, six months away, subhanAllah.
You and I both know the feeling of
a person who's praying after eating way too
much iftar versus somebody who is able to
hold themselves back.
We know the difference, right?
You and I both know when we walk
into our closet or we look at our
clothing, right?
We see it's laundry day and you're like,
who has so many clothes?
And you realize it's you.
I saw a meme that was hilarious.
It was like laundry goes so well until
it's time to fold, right?
And that's when you're like, this is way
too much.
I have to call Marie Kondo, right, ASAP.
You and I both know that as we're
buying more things and the excitement, right?
All of the synapses that are firing, all
those moments, the excitement of getting something new.
And then we know that when we get
that thing and we wear it a couple
times or we use it a couple times,
all of the novelty wears off and then
we look back behind us and there's a
pile of virtually the exact same thing just
sitting there.
The shoes, the clothes, the shirts, the pants,
the toys, the gadgets, all that are the
same.
And companies know this.
And companies know that they can test you,
right?
Apple knows that every year we're going to
put out the same phone that does nothing
different.
And those chayoteen, they sit there and laugh.
Wallahi, they sit there and laugh.
They know.
What can we do differently this year?
Oh, just make the camera 0.6 megapixels
better.
Come up with something that actually doesn't do
anything differently.
But then the entire world, I need it.
And then they start to compare what you
have and what they are offering.
And you start to feel what?
So deficient.
You buy a car and you're like, wallahi,
I never need a new car again.
Alhamdulillah.
Then the new version comes out.
They're like, oh, you know that one thing
that kind of bothers you a little bit?
We fixed it.
And you would actually be, I had a
friend who used to design the MacBook Pro.
He worked at Apple.
He was part of the engineering team.
And he said that we actually identify.
We get data.
We test and survey prototypes.
We get data and we decide what things
to fix and what things to leave.
And we have a list of things that
we leave so that we can, what?
We can have new models every year.
Because we're not going to create the perfect
laptop.
That's bad business.
If we make the perfect car, the perfect
laptop, the perfect this, that's bad business.
We're going to go out of business.
We need to make things that are imperfect
so that we can keep improving upon them.
Right?
And that's why there's a clothing company called
Patagonia.
I don't know if you guys ever have
heard of this company.
The CEO said something crazy a couple years
ago.
He actually said people have way too many
articles of clothing.
And he said people need to stop.
They had a record year for sales and
he goes stop buying our clothes.
He said relax.
And then they even had a buyback thing
where they're like we'll buy your clothes back
if you have too many from us.
Because he understood.
And again, I'm not, you know, وَلَا نُزَكِي
عَلَى اللَّهِ أَحِدٌ Like I'm not saying this
person's like the prophet.
Like he's still a business person.
But at the end of the day, this
is what ethical consumption looks like.
So Imam Ghazali, a thousand years ago, is
saying the same thing.
He's saying what do you buy?
Do you really need it?
Do you really need it?
What are you indulging?
Do you really have to indulge in that?
You think that by indulging in something you're
gaining.
Oh, yes, this experience.
Oh, yes, this moment, this hotel on vacation,
this food item, this, this, this.
But subhanAllah, what you're actually doing is you're
actually losing on the ability to have what's
called self-discipline.
It's much more valuable to be able to
say no to yourself than be able to
get to a point in life where you
can say yes to everything.
A lot of us aspire in our careers
to earn to a point where we don't
have to say no.
But subhanAllah, maybe Allah is holding things back
from us to be able to develop the
muscle of no.
Right?
May Allah Ta'ala protect us.
So then he says, This includes things that
are earned through lustful or reprehensible means.
And they have various degrees of precautionary steps
between them.
So it's not that everything is going to
be equally dangerous, but everything has a starting
point.
Okay?
He says the stricter that a person is
on themselves, the more disciplined a person is
on themselves, he said the lighter that their
burden will be on the Day of Judgment.
So the natural question is, look, why do
we even do all this?
Like if Allah made it halal, then why
am I making it haram?
No one's saying to make it haram, by
the way.
Enjoy your pastries.
Please enjoy your pastries.
I'm sorry we sold out.
We got hit hard today, subhanAllah.
Enjoy your matcha.
Right?
But everything in moderation.
Do you have the ability to say no?
Do you have the ability to hold back?
I remember one time, if anyone's been for
umrah before, may Allah invite us all.
So umrah is such a jarring experience for
a lot of us who go from America
for hajj and umrah.
Because you usually sign up to go with
a company and their primary business is hospitality.
Like if you sign up to go with
a travel agency, they're not trying to send
you to like a two-star hotel.
That's against their business model.
They want to put you in a nice
hotel.
That's what their job is.
Okay?
So they put you in these nice hotels
and you go there and you're like, wow,
this is nice, you know?
And you go to the breakfast buffet and
it's like the biggest breakfast buffet you've ever
seen in your life.
And you're like, this is nice.
And then you start to have these interesting
thoughts where you're like, but I'm in Mecca
right now.
And I remember this.
Like I remember seeing this and being like,
I'm in Mecca, in hajj.
We were in tents in Mina and there
were some groups, really, really expensive groups, and
they were having lobster.
Can you believe that?
I've never had lobster in my life at
this point.
Okay?
And I did not have lobster for the
first time in the desert of Saudi Arabia.
I promise you that.
Okay?
And I remember that.
Listen to this.
But this is really important because how many
of us in here, we hear this, we
get upset.
Saudis.
Wasteful people.
We start getting angry with them.
Same thing happened on hajj.
We're sitting in hajj and all these young,
pious brothers come and like, Astaghfirullah.
And they say, Astaghfirullah is a ghayn, not
a khaa.
But anyways, continue.
And they say, we should not be having
this indulgent, luxurious food.
And they look at the buffet and they're
like, look, chicken, beef, little drool, you know.
Chicken, beef, this, this, this.
They start going down the line, right?
And we let him finish.
He was really upset.
I remember he was like, this is not
hajj.
This is not hajj.
This is hajj of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi
Wasallam.
I said, you flew a plane here, brother.
Relax.
If you want to make that hajj, you
got to leave a year early on camel.
Alright?
You did not, you flew a plane here.
You got to chill.
So I said to him, I said, look.
I was there with Mufti Kamani, Sheikh Mubeen,
myself, Sheikh Abdul Nasser.
He's sitting there and he's going off.
I said, okay.
And then I said, do you see Mufti
Kamani?
He goes, yeah.
Because it was lunch time.
I said, do you see what he's eating?
Mufti Kamani is sitting there eating a Clif
Bar.
Like a, like a small animal, just nibbling
and then that's it.
Did you see Sheikh Mubeen?
He goes, yeah.
He's having some saltine crackers.
Sheikh Abdul Nasser is having a cup of
coffee.
I was eating, I think, some like dried
fruit that I brought.
Some apricots.
I said, do you see what we're eating?
He said, yeah.
I said, forget the fact that this is
strategically so that we don't have to use
the bathroom on hajj.
But I said, do you see that we're
not indulging in those things?
And he said, yeah.
I said, okay.
No one's forcing you to do it.
So you're getting really angry.
But who are you really angry at?
Are you angry at the hospitality company for
doing their job?
Or are you angry at yourself for wanting
it?
Are you disappointed that in the middle of
hajj you're yearning for the chicken fajitas?
And you heard about the lobster and the
tiramisu and the sushi in program six.
And more than anything you're like, I should
have just paid more.
I said, are you angry at them or
yourself?
And he said, wallahi, I'm angry at myself.
Because I want to be here and not
want those things.
I said, good.
This is the beginning of the journey now.
You have to be able to say no
to yourself.
And being able to say no to yourself
can't happen unless whatever you do, whatever you
say no to is within reach.
If it's not within reach, there's no no.
You can't get it anyways.
Guess what, guys?
I told myself today, no Rolls Royce.
Okay, you can't afford it anyways, Abdurrahman.
There's nothing impressive about that.
But if I said, Abdurrahman, you have a
shopping cart that is full.
Right?
Not the real one, the digital one.
Who shops in real life anymore?
The digital one.
And you can afford those things.
But you looked at your heart and you
said, you know who needs clothes more than
you?
A lot of people.
And it would be better off to donate
this than it would to give more to
yourself when you already have a closet that's
full.
And you emptied it out.
That is actually impressive.
That's what he's talking about.
It's not impressive to say no to things
that are far off.
Or haram.
That is impressive in a sense if your
heart's not in love with it.
But what's really impressive is when you have
it right in your grasp.
And it's not haram.
And you can afford it.
And no one would question it.
And you still ask the question, do I
really need it?
And then he says, the person who is
able to be disciplined in those moments, whether
it's with your dinner plate, whether it's with
your closet, whether it's with your credit card,
whether it's with your car, whether it's with
your house.
Right?
Do we really need this?
Or do we just want it?
He says, that person who masters those questions
will have a very, very smooth, a very
smooth journey on the Day of Judgment.
May Allah give us that.
And he says, and for this person, they
will cross the bridge, it's over the Hellfire,
very quickly.
A lot of people are going to cross
it and it's going to be very, very
difficult.
And the reason why it's going to be
difficult is not because the bridge, you know,
SubhanAllah, I was reading a commentary on this
and they said that there's a bridge on
the Day of Judgment.
Right?
For those of you, to give more context.
There's a bridge that goes over the Hellfire.
It's called the Sirat.
It's one of the tests of the Day
of Judgment.
You may have heard of this.
Think back to your Sunday school, your teacher
who's teaching you this when you're four.
And that's a little joke.
And apparently everyone here is the teacher who
teaches this when they're four, because no one
laughed.
So he says, on this bridge, the bridge
is actually going to be very similar for
everybody in terms of the crossing.
But for some people it will feel different
not because of the bridge itself, but because
of the burden that they're carrying.
The sins that they carry.
So he says the person will cross the
bridge faster.
And then the farther they will go when
they go to the scale and they finally
see their deeds being weighed, you know, when
you're looking at something, you don't want to
be close at all.
If you're really, really, really anxious about something,
you don't want anything to be close.
You know, if you're nervous about your favorite
team, winning by one is not fun.
It's not.
Alright?
At my son's soccer game this weekend, they
won two to one.
My heart rate, my Apple Watch was like,
you're having a cardiac episode.
Like you need to go get yourself checked
in.
It was so nerve-wracking.
I would rather they have won by ten
goals.
Don't, put my heart at rest, please.
I don't want to be nervous.
Right?
Barely winning anything is never a fun experience.
Of course, after it's all said and done,
Alhamdulillah, but it's not a fun experience.
Barely, barely.
Just barely beating out your sins on the
day of judgment.
Although, of course, it's better than the sins
weighing more than your good deeds, but it's
not going to be a fun experience.
So he says, for the person that disciplines
themselves in this life, the scale has not
even come close.
The sins will be all the way far,
super light.
And the good deeds will be heavy.
It's like the sin won't even register for
them on their scale.
May Allah grant us that.
And then he said, the ranks of people
in the hereafter, they vary according to these
degrees of piety.
So, let's quickly do a little bit of
the Dr. Mustafa Abusoy analysis and then we'll
move on.
We have a Q&A open by the
way, slido.com and then you can type
in 30 and up.
Oh, the questions are already loading up.
So Dr. Mustafa Abusoy, he says, and I'll
read this to you, it's very short.
He says, personal taste and personal opinion and
customs are not the source of a person's
behavior.
He says, revelation from Allah and the guidance
of His Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam should be
the source of how we behave.
We should think differently.
We should not seek to spiritually fit in.
It's a big misnomer.
People who fit in don't accomplish different goals
than people that they're fitting in with.
If I seek to be the same spiritually
as those that I know have no lofty
spiritual aspirations around me, I'm just going to
remain the same.
If a person wants to achieve something great
with their faith, they have to desire to
be greater.
Not than others, but than themselves.
They have to increase their own expectations.
So then he says, the first degree of
piety is do not cross over the boundaries
set by Allah.
And then he says, the higher degrees include
abandoning even lawful things because why?
They border on introducing you into prohibited actions.
And he says, not only should a person
seek out that which is lawful, but a
person should be concerned about the means by
which they're seeking out this lawful thing as
well.
For example, he says, piety should include not
engaging in doubtful business matters.
Not doing things that are unethical.
I was having a conversation the other day
with somebody and they were talking about using
what's the word?
Using memberships at places.
And they were like, we look so similar.
Just use mine.
And everyone got quiet and then we all
just finished praying Isha and they're like, yeah,
let's not do that.
They self-corrected.
They realized that this was not ethical.
And whatever you're saving, the membership is like
20 bucks, 30 bucks, you know, like a
stretch lab these places.
Oh, we look exactly the same.
Both of our names are Abdullah.
Just go.
The reality is that you might be tricking
the person, but Allah sees everything.
And these types of behaviors are not befitting
of a Muslim.
So he says part of this is to
make sure that you operate and you trade
in accordance with what is ethically the standard
for Muslims.
It means that you only accept money that
is wholesome, that is gained by lawful means
and that which pleases Allah.
A person should never engage in any economic
practice which goes against Islam.
This is why he says in theory opening
casinos and opening institutions of gambling could create
many jobs.
But he said because they go against the
fiber of Islamic law, it would be reprehensible
for a person to do so.
Likewise, you can now use that analogy for
anything else.
He said Imam Ghazali highlights the fact that
one should be completely conscientious about one's income.
People should protect themselves from what they earn,
making sure that they do not create any
harm as a result of it.
And negligent behavior with this regard could prolong
one's judgment in the year after.
Allah Ta'ala will ask every single person
in the Day of Judgment about their wealth,
specifically how they earned it and also what
they did with it.
May Allah Ta'ala give us a good
ending.
Ameen Ya Rabbil Alameen.
Okay.
Let's do some Q&A inshaAllah.
We have some interesting ones here.
Okay.
What is the cut-off time for Tahajjud
prayer?
Does 10 minutes before Fajr still count?
Yes, actually.
The cut-off time for Tahajjud prayer is
the Adhan for Fajr.
When a person hears the Adhan for Fajr,
or when a person knows that Fajr has
come in, I should say, then that is
the end of Tahajjud prayer.
So if you want to pray Tahajjud, if
you're awake that early, then that is good.
Could you please make a collective dua that
I get my green card soon so I
can perform Umrah and maybe even join you
on one of your trips.
Ameen.
May Allah Ta'ala make it easy.
Whatever situation anyone's going through, this one included,
may Allah Ta'ala facilitate it in perfect
timing.
What is the ruling on making wudu with
your socks on?
Our work bathrooms are not clean, and then
it's like the green vomit face.
I don't want to remove my shoes in
there, and I don't want to delay my
Asr.
Okay.
So the ruling with making wudu with socks
on, there are some conditions, but preliminarily wudu
generally needs to be an act in which
the water makes contact with the skin.
That is the general ruling, right?
So hands, face, arms, hair, etc.
Ears, mouth, of course, nose, feet, all of
these are the requirement for a wudu is
that they touch the skin.
Now once a person is in the state
of wudu, they can then put on a
pair of socks.
Now these socks, they have conditions.
So the scholars, it's hard to demonstrate.
Some say they have to be made of
a material that's like synthetic, like leather.
Some say no, it can be cotton, but
it has to be like thick.
Some say, well it can be a normal
thickness, a normal size cotton, but it has
to be one that is not porous.
It doesn't like let things quickly go in
and out.
So some say like a dry fit sock,
for example, would qualify.
No matter what opinion you choose, the condition
is the same, which is that you have
to have wudu before you put the sock
on.
If you have wudu before you put the
sock on, what you now are allowed to
do is an action called masah.
Masah means to wipe over.
And that simply means that you make the
full wudu, and when it comes time to
wash the feet, you take water, you run
it over your hand, and then you wipe
over the top of your foot.
You do that with your right foot and
with your left foot.
This state of wudu and sock can only
be kept for 24 hours.
And if you keep your socks on longer
than that, there's other problems in your life
probably, right?
So, no, but realistically, right, you have the,
the reason why this ruling is important, the
24 hours, is because people used to keep
their socks on for a long time, right,
in the desert of course, and traveling and
whatnot.
So you can't go, you know, everlasting with
this.
It has to be reset.
The wudu has to be reset.
So if you do make your wudu before
work, and you have your sock on, your
sock qualifies, etc.
It has to go above the ankle, for
example.
There's some conditions so you can look up,
you know, what those are.
Then you can wipe over your sock, inshallah.
May Allah make it easy.
I'm 45 and I've never been married.
What advice can you give to those who
are content being single and have accepted that
marriage may not be their nasib?
May Allah make it easy.
Now this is a very mature question.
In life, there are situations and there are
moments in which a person realizes that something
that they aspired for will simply not come
to fruition in this life.
And some of those realizations come with things
that are very heavy, and some come with
things that are moderate in heaviness, and some
come with things that are lighter.
This, obviously, marriage, being married, finding a companion,
is something that, of course, weighs heavily on
a lot of people.
And the reality is that what you said
at the end of your question is exactly
the answer to the first part of your
question, which is the key is to be
content with whatever Allah Ta'ala has decreed.
Now, of course, this is a lot easier
said than done.
Right?
If everyone was content with everything all the
time, we'd never get upset with anything.
You know, you'd get a flat tire and
you're like, this is Allah's decree.
You know?
You call AAA, they don't show up, you're
like, well, Allah decreed that too.
You know?
And ideally, you want to get to a
place where that is how you respond.
But you're human.
And I'm human.
We're all human.
And we're all going to have moments where
our humanness, our humanness shows.
So, what you do, and my advice for
anybody, and I know this is specific to
marriage, but this could also apply for having
children.
This could apply for, there's a brother I
met the other day who said I have
diabetes and I'll never be able to fast.
And he was young.
And he said, what advice can you give
me?
Because Ramadan, a big part of it is
fasting and I can't partake and I feel,
you know, spiritual FOMO, he said.
I thought it was pretty funny.
He goes, I feel spiritual FOMO.
Like, I see people around me fasting and
I can't.
So, he goes, what advice can you give
me?
So, the point being is everyone has their
thing that is withheld.
And just because one of them is more
obvious doesn't mean that someone's not struggling with
something.
Okay?
But the key is to realize a statement
of Hassan al-Basri rahimahullah, where he said,
become convinced of two things and life will
be a lot easier.
Number one, whatever was good for you and
written for you will never miss you.
And whatever was not good for you and
not meant for you will never hit you,
no matter how hard you try.
If a person can become convinced, he was
asked, someone asked him, how did you achieve
your level of piety?
How did you achieve that?
He said, I became content.
They said, how?
And that was his answer.
How did you become content with Allah?
In all situations, he said, I became convinced
of two rules.
Whatever was written for me, I couldn't run
away from it.
And whatever wasn't written for me, I could
never catch it.
It was just never going to happen.
And once I became convinced of those two
principles of life, I left it to Allah.
I tried my best.
When I wanted something, I went after it.
When I didn't want something, I avoided it.
But it doesn't matter.
At the end, whenever things finished and were
processed, whatever state I found myself in, I
said, this is from Allah.
And I accepted it.
And I moved forward with that being my
real state, my current state.
So may Allah ta'ala make it easy
for all of those.
I'm not saying for a person to give
up.
I'm not saying that.
Right?
If you want to have children and it's
a struggle, you're allowed to seek means.
If you want to get married and it's
a challenge, you're allowed to try, you know,
different events and different.
That's all.
There's no prohibition of this.
But what is prohibited is when a person
tries and it doesn't come to fruition.
And as a result of their trying and
their, you know, the delay, they begin to
question Allah.
That's prohibited.
Right?
You can feel the frustration.
You can feel the pain.
That's allowed.
But the tongue can never utter that which
goes against Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Because, imagine subhanAllah, on the Day of Judgment,
when everything is laid even, you get to
watch the director's cut of your own life.
And you get to see all the narrow
misses.
And you get to see how everything played
out.
And everything will make sense.
You know, on the Day of Judgment, one
of the biggest gifts is that there's no
questions anymore.
There's no more like why or how or
why not.
All of it will become obvious.
You get to watch the entire thing.
And imagine the foolishness and the embarrassment that
every person will have for the feelings of
rebellion they had towards Allah when all Allah
wanted to do was protect you and preserve
you.
Imagine that.
How shy you are.
Like when you look at somebody and you
were doing your best to help them.
And they get upset.
And then later they find out that you
were just trying to help.
Look how red their face turns.
Right?
Look at how embarrassed we become when we
realize that we were avoiding people that were
just trying to help us.
Now on the Day of Judgment, imagine that
feeling with Allah.
So, as much pain as felt, always meet
that pain with trust in Allah.
Experience the pain.
That's normal.
You're human.
But meet it with the trust of Allah.
Subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Okay.
I don't want to ask this one, but
I feel like I have to.
If twins are born, both during daylight savings,
the first one is born at 1.45
and the second one is born 30 minutes
later at 1.15, which one is legally
older?
Imam Ghazali writes an entire book about people
who have too much time.
And one of the things he writes is
that they ask funny questions.
Oh, this is a good one.
I'm going to make a lot of people
mad about this.
Chick-fil-A is closed on Sundays.
Does that make them people of the book
technically?
It's a good question.
The answer is no.
That's not what qualifies somebody in the Sharia
to become Ahlul Kitab.
Okay.
That's not what the qualification is.
There is in fact a difference of opinion
in slaughter methods, okay, for the halalness of
a meat.
That is not mentioned in any of the
books of Fiqh.
If the butcher is closed on Sundays, that
is a condition of their Christianness.
That's not the case.
Okay.
The conditions of eating meat that is slaughtered
by the people of the book still follows
the same slaughter method of the Muslim.
That is the big question.
The big question is the slaughter method.
Okay.
Is the animal dead before the blood vessels
are cut?
Because that is technically not considered permissible for
us to eat.
Which is unfortunately in America a very common
method of slaughter which is a bolt to
the brain before the arteries are cut.
And the second thing is, is there a
mention of God?
Now the scholars differ on this.
The Shafi'i school primarily allows for eating
certain types of meat never dead, never pre
-killed before slaughter, or before cutting.
But they allow the certain conditions to be
not explicitly stated like the mention of God's
name.
And then the Hanafi school and the other
schools primarily do not allow this.
I'm not here to tell you what to
follow.
I'm just here to tell you that what
is agreed upon by all schools is that
if the animal was considered dead before the
veins or the arteries were cut, it's technically
considered what's called in English carrion.
Carrion, right?
It's considered dead meat.
Okay.
So we cannot eat that at all.
So Chick-fil-A, you know, I want
those best, man.
I avoid it but I want those best.
Okay.
Adoption in Islam, is it allowed?
That's the question.
Adoption, there is a concept of taking care
of orphans for sure.
And those orphans, in some senses of course,
can come and be fostered and even live
with the host family.
There are some conditions for adoption, right?
It can be challenging of course, right?
One of the main conditions that's mentioned is
that the child needs to be aware that
they have a family lineage that is not
your family lineage, but they have one.
Meaning that their name can't be changed, you
cannot hide their history, etc.
All that has to be there.
There's also some other conditions and stuff.
So generally, yes, adoption as a concept is
allowed.
But of course, Islam, as with other things,
has conditions and prerequisites.
So that can be a longer topic for
a different day inshallah.
Oh god.
Is it haram to get Botox?
To look good for women?
What about men?
What if I want a little...
What if I want to get rid of
some...
Why women only?
Just trying to be fair.
The room got quiet.
Okay, so everyone's waiting on the edge of
their seats.
They're like, I have an appointment at 9
o'clock, can you please tell me?
Look, I don't know.
I actually don't know.
I do a lot of reading on this
because I get asked this question once a
week.
Usually right before the appointment.
I will say this.
Okay?
I was once listening to a lecture by
a sheikh who was asked about social media.
And they asked him, what's the ruling?
And this was early on.
This was like in 1990-something.
2000 maybe.
I'm trying to think.
Do I have to take my shoes off
on a fly or not?
So I was trying to imagine.
And he said, I don't know.
And he actually said something really powerful.
He goes, it's too early to know.
And I remember subhanAllah him saying that.
And the questioner being like, what does that
mean?
It's too early to know.
He goes, we don't know the effects.
Right?
Something is judged.
If there's no clear direct evidence of something
being permissible or impermissible, then you can infer
permissibility or impermissibility based on the causal and
the operative effects of the behavior, the action.
Okay?
So he says, I don't know.
And he goes, we'll find out.
And now 20 years later, you have the
Surgeon General saying that there's actually a mental
health crisis that is caused by the rampant
usage of social media, particularly amongst teenagers.
You literally have a medical body, the head
of the medical body or the medical community
in America saying that teenagers should not be
using social media.
It is dangerous.
It is harmful for them.
Okay?
And I remember the time when the Shaykh
said this, people were like, oh, cop out.
Just say it's halal or haram.
Don't run away from the question.
But he was smart.
And he was like, look, I might feel
a certain way, but I'm not going to
project that onto the Sharia because that's a
serious thing to do.
You cannot take what I feel and say,
Islam says this.
No.
Because you have to have evidence.
But at the same time, you also have
to be wise enough and observant enough to
watch and see the effects of these things.
So, I don't know what the ruling on
Botox is.
I've never done it, believe it or not.
I know.
How can you maintain this face without that?
So I don't know.
And I know a little bit about the
science, but not enough to know anything really
effectively about the harm of it.
But I will say that the trend of
a person wanting to do this is concerning
and worrying to me.
And I would say that, especially as a
father now of a daughter, I would try
to encourage her not to think that this
is something that she needs to do in
order to appear any certain type of way
and that Allah made her as beautiful as
she is, just the way she is.
That would be my answer without fiqh in
it.
Okay?
Now, this is not an indictment against anybody
here if you do this.
But it's just me saying that maybe in
2055, we'll know.
But that my heart, my inclination, my gut
is telling me that it's probably not something
that is necessary.
Allah knows best.
Okay, this is the last question, then we're
done.
Is it bad to make dua over and
over and over for something that just seems
not to be meant for you?
It's never bad to make dua.
It's never bad to ask Allah for something.
It's like saying, is it bad to pray?
Or is it bad to fast?
No.
Making dua is fine.
It's good.
It's excellent actually.
But there comes a point in the making
of dua in which a person should hand
over the answer to Allah.
Just hand it over.
Right?
Because if I'm making dua for something and
I keep going and I say I'm not
gonna stop making this dua until you give
it to me, oh Allah, then this is
not a dua, this is a demand.
At the end of istikhara, what do we
say?
The istikhara dua, in summary says, oh Allah,
you are the one who knows, I don't
know.
I want this really badly.
If it's good for me in my life
and in my death, in my dunya, my
akhira, then give it to me.
If it's not good for me, oh Allah,
in my life, my death, my dunya, my
akhira, then take it far away and replace
it with something better.
That's why the istikhara dua is so beautiful
because you're actually saying I think I know
what I want but I'm willing, oh Allah,
in my submission to you to completely defer
the decision to you, oh Allah.
And that is really the essence of dua.
So making dua is never a bad thing.
But if the dua does not finish with
deferral and really just delegating and making deference
to Allah, then ultimately, what kind of dua
is that?
It's more of a demand than it is
a supplication.
So I would recommend for this person number
one, continue making dua.
Number two, if something seems to be not
the case, there's always a difference between a
speed bump and a brick wall.
And if you don't know the difference, you've
never run into a brick wall before.
There's a difference between a speed bump and
a wall.
A speed bump is a not yet, now's
not a good time, apply again later, etc.
A wall is no, never happening.
Be able to tell the difference.
If the wall is present, then don't try
going through it, go around it.
Ask Allah for something that is different.
Ask Allah to facilitate in a way and
to open up doors that only He can
open.
But if it's a speed bump, that's where
you continue to ask and you remain patient
and you remain persistent and consistent.
Oh Allah, please grant this to me.
Please grant this to me.
It's not a wall, it's a speed bump.
But always at the end of it, defer
the ultimate judgment to Allah.
We ask Allah to make us those that
have spiritual discipline, that we stay away from
things that He prohibited but also stay away
from things that can test us and that
can test our indulgences and our desires.
We ask Allah to make us those people
who can make decisions that we'll be proud
of on the Day of Judgment.
We ask Allah to make us people that
we make decisions that we will be relieved
by on the Day of Judgment.
We ask Allah to make us people that
we make decisions that we will be excited
to see on the Day of Judgment and
that Allah protect us from being people that
will be embarrassed or ashamed or burdened by
the decisions that we made in this life
when we reach the Day of Judgment.
Ameen.
...
...
I do want to announce, I didn't announce
it last night but tonight we do have
some events in our October calendar.
MashaAllah, happy October.
You thought I was going to say Halloween.
Happy October.
Not me.
You know one of those holidays that became
haram as you got older.
So I did want to announce though that
this weekend inshaAllah we have a few different
events.
We have, we've fully launched and set up
our convert connections program which is meant to
be a space for converts and their families
and close friends inshaAllah.
So please please check out our calendar for
that.
We also have our on Sunday the first
of many we're going to call meet and
greets which is going to be for all
of those who are not from Dallas new
to the area, moved here the last few
months, year or so and you kind of
want to find your rhythm and your groove
socially.
We're going to have an opportunity for you
to come here where everybody is relatively new.
I know that one of the challenges moving
to a place is that it seems like
everybody already knows people.
It's hard to kind of make friends and
break in and this is the exact reason
why we're going to be hosting these events
inshaAllah.
Every two months or so.
So this Sunday is our first one at
4pm.
You're more than welcome to bring yourself, your
family inshaAllah.
If you're new to Dallas I'll let you
define what new means.
I'm not going to set a time limit.
We're not going to check your arrival ticket
and stuff.
But just you know if you're new to
Dallas and you want to meet new people,
Sunday inshaAllah please join us for our community
meet and greet.
We'll have some food, some refreshments.
We'll have some conversations as well.
Be fun.
Light-hearted inshaAllah.
We also have a couple other events on
the calendar so just please check the calendar
inshaAllah.
We have in October 57 events for the
community.
And just because they might not be striking
your demographic, I just want you to appreciate
that we're doing a lot and this is
all thanks to your support.
May Allah bless you for sustaining and contributing
and we've hopefully been able to try our
best to fulfill the promise that if you
support us we'll be able to deliver more
and more inshaAllah.
Jazakum Allah khairan.
Take care everybody.
We'll see you inshaAllah.
Isha prayer is in about 6 minutes.
So if you can help me with the
back jacks lining up in the front.
And then if you sat on the black
folding chairs there are the dollies there in
the hallway and you can stack them there.
Jazakum Allah khairan.
I'm going to head over to the Masala
and join you guys for Isha prayer.
Wassalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.