AbdelRahman Murphy – Thirty & Up #26 Treasury Of Imam Al-Ghazāli
AI: Summary ©
The speakers stress the importance of avoiding overwhelming behavior and overwhelm, learning from successes and finding one's true heart, avoiding distractions, and being present in public. They also emphasize the importance of direct and firm communication in relationships and high emotions in situations where emotions are high. The speakers stress the need to be mindful of others' actions and not let them into people's lives.
AI: Summary ©
Okay, assalamu alaikum, bismillah, bismillah walhamdulillah wa salatu
wassalamu ala rasulillah wa ala adihi wa ashabihi
ajma'in.
Welcome home, everybody.
Sorry, let me just try to get one
thing.
Okay, bismillah.
So we're going to inshallah continue.
I think, I'm guessing that Dr. Mustafa is
kind of like weaving some of these things
together because as I'm reading and preparing, I'm
noticing that there's like major themes from the
previous week that one of them is showing
up in the following week, right?
So as we're like moving forward, every time
he mentioned something, then the following Tuesday when
we get together and read, I'm like, oh
subhanAllah, there's like a major, major point that
sort of carried over from that one to
this one.
And the same thing happened this week, subhanAllah,
as well.
If you guys can recall from last week,
the conversation that we had was about sincerity,
right?
Sincerity is the soul of every good action.
Every good deed, just like the body has
a soul to be alive, every action has
the soul of sincerity in order to make
it to be accepted by Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala.
So he spoke about sincerity and he spoke
about how a person should work on their
sincerity to make sure that they understand and
they realize that unless they have this, they're
never going to actually achieve true happiness in
life.
And so he continues now with the next
section.
And this section is titled, There Are Absolutely
No Secrets, that's what he called it, which
is kind of like a daunting or intimidating
title for a section, for a chapter.
But he focuses a lot of this passage,
he pulls from al-Ghazali, he focuses a
lot of this passage on the idea of
introspection, being able to reflect inward.
And that was one of the things we
said with sincerity, you can't achieve it unless
you have the ability to think inward, right?
We can always look outside and observe the
world around us, but if we can't observe
internally like what's going on and kind of
like how we're feeling in certain situations, how
we respond, then we're never going to be
able to determine whether or not we were
sincere.
We're always just going to assume about ourselves.
So this section, subhanAllah, it lays flat, makes
completely apparent a really really important principle in
our belief.
And that is that to Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala, there is no such thing as
a secret.
We all have secrets, everybody in this room
has things that people don't know about them,
even those people that you're really close to.
And hopefully these are not dramatic secrets, things
that are bad, but just speaking more so
about the idea that not everybody will know
every single detail about you as a person.
It's the nature of human beings.
And typically what we like to keep secret,
what we incline to keep secret, are the
things that we're embarrassed about, the things that
we don't want to share with people.
They could be like things that we struggle
with morally and ethically, or it could just
be something that we're sensitive about.
If somebody, for example, every night for dinner
has a bowl of cereal.
Anybody?
Yeah, supposed to be able to look up.
Not a secret anymore.
Or if someone has a bad habit, or
if someone bites their nails.
I don't know, just these random things.
These are not like moral crimes.
These are just things that we don't prefer
that people know about.
But then there are also the moral things
and the immoralities that we struggle with.
So we're used to having things that are
apparent and things that are not apparent.
But with Allah Ta'ala, everything is the
same.
There is no hidden.
There is no thing that is less known.
Allah Ta'ala knows us, every single piece
of us, every single thing about us, just
as much apparent as the things that we
hide.
This is a really, really valuable principle when
it comes to building one's faith.
And Imam Ghazali, he expounds on this.
And he says that you can take this
in one of two ways.
In the Quran, Allah Ta'ala details this
entire experience.
The idea that Allah Ta'ala knows everything
about you.
That He knows the things that are unknown
and the things that are apparent.
But He is the most merciful and the
most forgiving, the most compassionate.
So a person can feel one of two
ways.
They can feel overwhelmed by the fact that
Allah Ta'ala knows every single thing about
them.
They can feel in the same way that
when you find out that somebody knows something
about you, you feel embarrassed, you feel exposed.
That's one way.
The other side of it is that you
can take, and this is a little bit
more advanced, is that you can take consolation.
And usually as a person gets older, so
maybe like from the different stages of development,
when you're younger, you might feel a little
bit more embarrassed.
But as you get older, there's more of
a feeling of relief and consolation that people
know who you really are.
And subhanAllah, the true believer actually would understand
that both of those experiences, the feeling of
fear of embarrassment and the feeling of relief
of consolation and of being validated, those are
both very, very important religious experiences.
We want Allah to know everything about us
because it motivates our decision-making.
It changes how we act.
If I were to announce to everybody right
now that the security cameras are on in
this building, some people would change the way
that they're sitting.
So you sit up a little bit straighter,
uncross your legs, maybe sit a little bit
more proper.
If I said that there was a camera
person that was going to come in and
film every person, you would change.
Why?
Because the idea of being observed is something
that it changes our perception.
So that's one of the aspects, and Imam
Ghazali is going to focus on that.
But we'll talk about the other aspect as
well.
So let's go ahead and read the passage.
He says, اعلم, know and understand.
Come to realize.
He says, the reality of watchfulness, the reality
of this thing called watchfulness that Allah is
watching over you, is when somebody observes somebody
at every single time, and at the same
time devotes and puts all of their concern
towards that person, all of their hem, all
of their focus and worry and their concern
towards this individual.
And so for example, I give a lot
of credit to the parents who come to
the halaqas with their kids as they're climbing
the tower of nugget couches in the back,
seeing, you know, we're making dua, ya Allah,
you are the lord of me and the
lord of broken bones.
Do not allow any kids to break their
bones here.
But seeing which kid will first, inshallah, hopefully
not, get injured, right?
And the reason why I laugh is because
there's no way that a parent whose kid
is climbing a tower of couches is able
to focus on this guy up front.
They come because Allah ta'ala forgives all
of our sins for attending these things.
It doesn't matter if I'm here or someone
else is here.
But when a person is watching over somebody,
it's nearly impossible to divert or to divide
that intention, right?
And that sometimes is to our benefit, right?
So the kid who's climbing keeps an eye
on when their parent is watching and when
they're not watching.
And what do they do?
When they're watching, they sit there and they're
like, can I do my kuman homework, right?
Trying to behave and do the right thing.
I'm going to review my math.
I'm going to do my qaid al-nuraniya,
my Arabic.
But then as soon as the parent looks
away, as soon as the parent looks away,
then they go back to behaving like a
kid, which is normal for them.
My daughter just did this literally right now,
literally right now.
She was doing something and I said, please
don't do that.
And then I walked upstairs.
I turned around and she started doing it.
She looked at me.
All right.
Actually, you guys ever seen the movies where
those kids who don't want to eat their
dinner, they feed their food to their dog.
My daughter literally was doing that earlier.
We were giving her some chicken and she
was taking it and trying to give it
to my cat.
My cat is weird.
He doesn't like chicken.
He's strange.
But she was like upset with him.
He wasn't eating it.
She got caught.
Anyways, long story short is that she thought
that when she wasn't being watched, that she
can get away with it.
And that's how we are wired to behave
because we understand that human beings can only
watch us for a certain amount of time.
So when the Quran tells us that he's
with you wherever you are, right?
And that the angels are on your shoulders
and they're writing down every single deed.
We are so not used to that.
It's so foreign to us that we are
constantly being kept monitored and observed in a
record of us.
And Imam Ghazali starts this passage by trying
to understand or trying to get us to
understand that this exists but it's specific to
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
And you kind of have to turn it
on.
You have to flip on a switch in
your brain that this is possible.
And then he says that it is said
that the person who holds themselves back from
doing something because of someone else, it is
because they are concerned or they take consideration
with that person.
So if I don't do something because I'm
aware that I'm being watched, it means that
what?
It means that the person watching me, they
have some relationship with me.
I care about them.
There are some things we do and we
don't care who's watching us, right?
There are some things that we do and
we are like it doesn't matter if we're
surrounded by people if we're alone.
But then there are some things that if
the right person is near us, if the
right person is around us, we completely change
how we behave.
And so he says what we learn from
this reality that we will change how we
behave based on who's around us is that
the heart is primed to be watched when
it is in a state of knowledge.
The heart is aware.
The heart is ready.
And it is actually it succeeds and it
passes the test but only when the person
is mentally aware that they are being watched,
that they are being observed.
And so he says there's a few things
that happen as a result of this.
Number one is he says that the outward
action changes.
The person becomes better.
They become more of a representative of who
they want to be, right?
So think about, for example, and this is
why like one of my teachers used to
tell us, if you ever want to do
something wrong, just pray two rakah first.
If you ever want to do haram, just,
he didn't say go ahead because obviously he
can't, but he said, okay, just pray two
rakah nafl first and then try to do
something wrong.
And we told him like that kind of
defeats the whole purpose.
He's like, exactly.
Because why?
Because you've now reminded your heart that there's
somebody watching, right?
You've temporarily forgotten and Ibn Qayyim and others,
they say this.
They say every sin that is committed is
simply a lapse in memory.
It's just a lapse in memory because if
a person were present with the statement or
the fact that Allah is watching, then that
person wouldn't do that sin, hopefully, right?
Hopefully.
So he says it changes their outward action
and also for like the more advanced, for
the people that are taking this really seriously,
it doesn't only change their outward action, but
it changes their a'mal al-qalb, the actions
of the heart.
Because a lot of us are very good
at faking it, right?
And this is kind of one of the
things that you've had to do.
You guys work with people that you don't
like, but you have to pretend like you
like them, right?
LinkedIn, great job.
You really don't care.
But you know and you're aware that in
the system of bureaucracy and corporate growth, you
have to in order to climb that ladder.
So proud of you, Natalie, right?
Like it's just a certification, you know, like
it's not that important.
But that's what you have to do.
And you may not enjoy that person, you
may not get along with them, but for
the sake of what?
For the sake of your growth, your opportunities,
you do that.
So in this society and in the world
in general, right?
We're told and we're taught like fake it,
fake it till you make it.
But there's a counter to that and that
is that while the person that you're with
may not be able to ever detect how
you really feel, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
is intimately aware of what's going on inside
of you.
And that's where it gets kind of heavy
because we can all put on a brave
face or we can all put on a
patient face or a generous face or whatever
it might be.
But whatever we're feeling inside is really the
testimony of who we are.
And that's where we want to make sure
we don't have a big gap.
If we have a large gap between what
we do and who we are, that's called
hypocrisy.
And that's where we want to shorten that
as much as possible.
So if I say, for example, that I
love to host people, but every time an
opportunity to take care and be hospitable comes
to me, I get irritated, then why am
I saying something which is not accurate?
If I tell people that I'm patient but
I'm like chronically impatient, then why do I
feel so confident in this self-assessment?
I'm not.
I'm not what I think I am.
And so Imam Ghazali says, look, the real
work, this isn't child's play, the real work,
the work of the heart, that's why we
call it heart work by the way from
Ghazali, the real work is to try to
bring your heart into parallel with your aspirations
of your behavior so that who you are
and who you behave like, there's not like
a lot of work to do.
It's second nature.
My response didn't even have to go through
the processing.
It was just who I was.
I was hearing, I was listening to a
story from somebody about one of our teachers,
and he was sleeping in the back of
a car.
He was taking like a nap.
It was a road trip.
And as he was driving or as he
was being driven, I should say, the driver
of the car like swerved and almost got
into an accident.
And naturally, like, you know, you guys drive
in Dallas, you're familiar with bad drivers.
So when something like that happens, your response
is, you know, it could be colorful.
It could be embarrassing, especially if you have
an 8-year-old and a 6-year
-old behind you.
I'm going to be a little vulnerable.
Growing up in the Midwest with a lot
of Caucasian friends, I say the phrase Jesus
Christ more than I'd like to admit.
Okay.
Obviously, I believe he was a prophet.
Okay.
So my son, who is like the Islamic
school mascot now, today was so funny.
We were driving home, and he was like,
Baba.
I said, yeah, Musa.
And he goes, little together is a big
deal.
And I go, it is.
You're right.
And he goes, it's like more important than
like a million months.
I said a thousand, but yeah, a million
is close.
Okay.
So then we're like talking about it, and
he goes, I really want to go to
the masjid that night, and I want to
like pray, and I want to bring my
pillow and my blanket.
And I was like, why the pillow and
the blanket?
He goes, because that's what I see all
the uncles do.
And I was like, oh, okay.
He's talking about the calf.
So he's the Islamic school mascot.
But if something happens, if I'm driving and
I'm taking my kids, someone cuts me off,
and sometimes it just comes out like Jesus
Christ, you know.
And he'll be like, Baba, you should just
say Allah.
You should not say Jesus Christ.
Why are you calling upon Prophet Isa?
So this teacher of ours, he was in
the back seat, and a potential accident was
developing, like swerving and whatnot.
And he wakes up, and I want you
to imagine like waking up from something.
You're totally unaware.
You don't even know what's going on.
You're just waking up in the middle of
the chaos.
And he just goes, la ilaha illallah.
It's the first thing he says.
And alhamdulillah, they all survived.
But the driver of the car who was
like later telling the story was like, I
was so shook by that.
I was shook that the first thing he
said upon waking up was la ilaha illallah.
And there are so many stories of like
EMTs who work in Muslim-majority countries.
And they say that when accidents happen or
when people are in a state like a
coma state, that there are times where they
are just repeating.
And I don't know the science behind this,
but they are just repeating that which is
familiar to them, even though their mind, their
conscious mind is not working.
But their subconscious mind will be making dhikr.
There was a video of one of the
famous mashayikh, and he was in a coma.
He was actually in a state, and his
thumb was still moving on his tazbi.
Like he was in a state where he
should have been under anesthesia or like out
of it, totally out of it, and he
was still moving.
And subhanallah, it's just why?
Because what is in here eventually comes out.
You can't hide it.
You can only hide it for a short
while.
But then whoever you really are, it shows,
and it becomes apparent.
May Allah Ta'ala make it good for
us.
And so he says, the state of the
heart, when it realizes that it's being observed,
it becomes preoccupied with the observer.
So when the heart realizes that Allah is
watching, then you become preoccupied.
So think about how you respond to when
someone you admire, you look up to, right,
you're nervous around, maybe you want to get
married to them, who knows, right?
Think about like when you were in your
proposal stages for those of you who are
married or those of you who are looking,
how you behave.
Your mind becomes preoccupied.
It's almost as if everyone else in the
room disappears.
They're all unimportant.
There's only one person in the room that's
important to me.
It's that person.
And I want to make sure that like
from the get-go, like what I'm wearing,
how I walk, how I talk, all of
that is impressive to this person.
If I'm trying to impress somebody, I am
focusing all of my planning, all my strategy
on this individual, right?
And even if there's 500 other people in
the room, I don't even notice them.
So Ghazali says, with the believer, this is
kind of how the heart should work with
Allah.
It's that it's possible for a person to
be in a very crowded place, in a
very distracting environment, with a lot of chaos
and hustle and bustle, but they're not distracted.
They are just focused on Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala.
I don't know if any of you have
been for Umrah before, but when you go
to Umrah, that's kind of like the test.
There are some people that when they're making
tawaf, when they're walking around the Kaaba, all
they focus on is the crowd.
And they say, I can't stop thinking about
how many people are here.
Or there are some people that, because for
the past 20 plus years, everything's just been
under construction.
So you know those beautiful pictures of the
Kaaba that you've seen?
And the skyline is clear?
That's all Photoshopped.
Or it's been taken from 1998.
Because now, with the construction to accommodate the
crowds, you always see construction happening.
And so there are people that in the
area, near the Kaaba, like let's say the
Kaaba is from here to the coffee shop.
Like that close.
But they'll be like, oh, there's so many
cranes here.
It's just ruining the vibe.
By the way, I heard that quote verbatim.
Okay?
And one of the mashayikh that I was
with, he said something so amazing.
He goes, isn't it crazy how the heart
will just focus on what it wants to
focus on?
Like we'll be here in the middle of
the Haram in Mecca, and we're like looking
at the Kaaba and just in awe of
it.
And one of us is struggling with the
fact that there's cranes.
So whenever the heart is preoccupied with something,
it puts all of its attention on that
thing.
If I find myself being unable to control
my decisions in private, it means that I
am not yet preoccupied enough with Allah.
I haven't gotten there yet.
I haven't thought about it.
Right?
Because any time that I'm in private and
I feel a veil between me and Allah,
I take advantage of that, and I do
something that I know Allah would not be
proud of.
Okay?
So he says number one is to work
on being preoccupied with Allah.
Meaning what?
There's a constant remembrance of God.
Constant.
And this can be done in a lot
of different ways, but everyone has their own
niche.
They have their own sort of soft spot
for this.
Then he says, and then you incline towards
Allah.
So there's the being observed by the security
camera, which is like an enemy.
Right?
Or there's being observed by the one that
you want to impress, the one that you
love.
So being inclined towards pleasing Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala.
What's my relationship with Him?
How do I feel about being observed by
Allah?
And then he says, and then being entirely
focused on trying to please Him.
The knowledge that brings to fruition this state
is the realization that Allah ta'ala will
see what is in people's consciousness, what is
in His content, sorry, and that He knows
people's hidden secrets.
He watches over people's deeds, and He will
hold every soul accountable for what it has
earned.
The secret of the heart is revealed to
Allah, just like the skin of people is
exposed to one another.
And He says even more than that.
So whatever we see from one another, Allah
ta'ala is deeply aware of everything beyond
that even more.
Let's read what Dr. Mustafa Abu Suayy says,
and then I'll share with you some hadith
that give us practical steps on how to
build that.
He says there is not a thing in
the universe except that it is known by
Allah, even your thoughts and ideas.
This is consoling.
Right?
It's obviously intimidating, but it's also consoling because
in a world where you are constantly concerned
about what people think about you, it's very
very relieving to remember that you know what,
Allah knows the truth.
Like if somebody misunderstood me, or if somebody
has chronically blamed me and I'm not actually
guilty, then Allah ta'ala knows the truth.
And this is one of those statements that
again, it brings consolation because once you stop
caring about what people think, and you care
more about what Allah thinks, there's a level
of comfort that comes with that realization.
So Allah ta'ala knows.
Whatever crosses one's mind is known to Allah.
And this is one of the hadith teaches
us that it's one of the gifts of
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala that He does
not hold us accountable for our bad intentions.
He doesn't hold us accountable for them.
So you could have like the worst intention
in your heart, like man, after this, I'm
gonna go and I'm gonna punch that person,
I'm gonna go do this, I'm gonna do
that.
And as long as you don't actually do
it, Allah ta'ala doesn't hold you accountable
for it.
But on the opposite side, if you actually
do something good, if you intend something good
but you're unable to do it, He rewards
you for that.
So Allah gives you the advantage.
Your intention is rewarded when it's positive.
But if it's negative, as long as you
don't do it, there's no accountability.
But Allah is aware of these.
One may keep secrets from other people, but
you can never keep anything hidden from Allah.
Allah ta'ala knows all that takes place
in the universe at once.
He's omniscient.
This attribute is part and parcel of the
Islamic creed.
The awareness of this attribute that we are
constantly exposed to Him should have a positive
impact on our behavior.
One should be embarrassed to harbor any ill
thoughts or feelings in one's heart or to
contemplate wrongdoing, being fully aware that Allah is
continuously watching over you.
You know, one of the things that I
try to teach like my kids, and I
think that this is something that we may
have missed out on in our own upbringing,
but it's important again to kind of look
at your own and reflect, is I try
to teach them that we don't judge things
by the result.
We judge things by the process.
If you accidentally stumble into success, it's not
that impressive.
If you really work hard and fail, it's
very impressive.
And that paradigm, that shift, right?
Because why do people cheat on exams?
It's because we're result-oriented.
Why do people steal?
Why do people lie?
Why do people do these things to get
ahead?
Because we're just result-oriented.
The process is less important, right?
In a Machiavellian way, like the ends justify
the means.
So I will do whatever it takes.
Why do people go into credit card debt?
Because the ends justify the means.
As long as I can get something that
fulfills me, makes me happy, I'll worry about
paying it off later.
It doesn't matter if it's 20% interest,
right?
And keeps me shackled to the banks.
All of these things revolve around what?
A complete disregard for the process and only
being focused on the result.
But if somebody goes through the process and
it does not end well, or it doesn't
end the way that they hope, they think
of themselves and others think of them as
like a failure.
But in reality, subhanAllah, that person may have
gained from that process much, much more.
Much more than the person who didn't do
the right steps.
And that's where Islam, again, inverts completely our
understanding of this world.
A person could never ever achieve the successful
result that they're looking for and they could
attain paradise through good intention.
When a person is reading Quran, and I
was just hearing Matthew talk about tajweed, how
many of you are a little bit hesitant
to read Quran in front of people?
Like if I called you up here and
said, read this, how many of you would
hesitate?
Yeah, why?
Because like, not trying to stutter through, right?
Not trying to give you the remix, like
I just want to read it, you know,
straightforward.
But the hadith says what?
That the person who struggles reading the Quran
and stutters reading it because of their lack
of confidence and their lack of fluidity in
it, they get twice the reward of the
one who reads with fluidity.
Why?
It's not the result that matters, it's the
process, right?
If a person intends to do good, they
get the reward.
Why?
Because it's not the result, it's the process.
So when it comes to like the material
world, when it comes to work and life
and all that, results do matter, that's part
of the unfortunate reality of this dunya, your
KPIs, right?
Your results, you have to demonstrate the growth
of last quarter and the projections into the
future and all these things.
But don't let that dunya-y paradigm seep
into your heart for religion.
Take comfort knowing that the religious paradigm doesn't
actually have those demands.
Allah is not like your manager or your
supervisor.
Your annual report with Allah has nothing to
do with how much you've grown in result,
it's how much intensity and sincerity you have.
And so he says that because of this,
one should be watchful, right?
Moving from being watched to the watchful, Allah,
one should check that the action that one
contemplates, if it is for his sake, then
they should carry it out.
But if it's for the sake of other
than Allah, meaning it's for the sake of
Shaitan, then one should refrain from it.
And when an action is done for Allah's
sake, it should be perfected, taking into consideration
all the proper etiquettes associated with it.
And then he continues, being conscious of the
exposure of the heart leads to the modification
of how we act, our behavior, hastening to
do what is right in the sight of
Allah and shunning what is prohibited.
The heart will be then tranquil and the
limbs will be the witness to this state
of the heart by partaking in its tranquility,
subhanAllah.
So he says, anxiety, right, which is a
clinical term, but I'm using it here spiritually.
Okay?
Anxiety, spiritual anxiety is the result of the
gap between what you feel and what you
do.
Okay?
And that's why when people are doing something
that they know is wrong, what do they
do?
They act anxious, right?
They act nervous.
If I'm doing something, oh man, today is
so good.
My kids are great.
They're like a commentary for this book.
I was reading, actually preparing for my notes,
and I hear my daughter yell, marshmallow time.
And I go, what?
Because I'm in a separate room.
And I go outside and she's like trotting
over with her little new bob haircut to
the pantry.
And I'm like, what are you doing?
No, no, she said, I'm going to get
a bowl of marshmallows.
I go, a bowl of marshmallows?
This is what happens when my wife's at
the gym working out and I'm in charge
of after school care.
I go, you're not getting a bowl?
She goes, yeah.
I said, no.
I said, you're going to get two.
And I thought to myself, subhanAllah, when she
saw me and I said, what are you
doing?
She like jumped because she knew.
But then I thought to myself, why did
you announce marshmallow time?
Like loudly, like, you know, every criminal wants
to be caught, like deep down, right?
So, but that's it.
He said it right here.
He said, when a person does what is
right and they avoid what is wrong, you
will feel this tranquility.
Like your heart feels tranquil.
When you're able to conquer yourself.
When you're able to not do things differently
when you're in private than you are when
you're in public.
When you're able to watch your eyes and
the words that you say and the things
that you do.
When you rush to do good deeds with
the same urgency when you're in isolation, in
solitude, as you do when you're surrounded by
others.
That's when you experience sakinah, tranquility.
And the heart and the body feel this
tranquility.
As Allah knows one's best kept secrets including
their sinful deeds that are only known to
them.
One should ask for forgiveness and protection against
ill intentions as well as against being exposed
in public.
You know what's interesting, subhanAllah?
There's one hadith that comes to mind in
particular about sins.
Okay, so let me bring this up because
I think it's going to be preemptively answering
a few questions.
We keep talking about trying to be the
same in private as you are in public.
But then there's this unrealistic ideal that well
I do have my shortcomings.
Like I am not a perfect person.
And the Prophet, peace be upon him, in
his addressing of how to handle sins, he
never says that a person is expected not
to have any.
But he says that when you commit them,
your response should have a few steps.
Number one is repentance.
Okay, regret and repentance which we've talked about.
But the second one, and this is important,
is you should hide it.
You should hide it.
Now I know you're like, wait a minute,
didn't you just say that doing sinful things
in private is a sign of insincerity?
Not quite.
Doing sinful things in private without repentance and
with indulging in it and then trying to
act pious in public, that's hypocrisy.
But if a person has sins in private,
that just means that they're a human being.
And what they should do is they should,
with all of their might, try to refrain
and resist from anyone ever finding out.
Because the Hadith of the Prophet, peace be
upon him, Sahih Hadith, he says that every
sin of the child of Adam will be
forgiven except for the one that they expose
themselves.
So because exposing of one's sin is one
of the highest signs of a lack of
remorse.
If I show somebody what I'm doing, I
obviously don't care, right?
So there is a spiritual strength, there is
a spiritual silver lining in being a person
that when you make a mistake, you say
Astaghfirullah and then you keep it to yourself.
To the point where if somebody asks you,
like, hey, did you do that?
You actually don't have, you can lie.
It's actually bad etiquette for the person to
even seek the answer for that.
You can totally be like, nope, don't even
know what you're talking about, right?
Because that's between you and Allah.
And Subhanallah, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala on
the Day of Judgment, there's some Hadith Qudsi
where Allah Ta'ala will say that hiding
the sins in this life is enough for
Allah to forgive the sins and hide them
in the next life from everybody as well.
So he says here, be very careful, be
very careful never to expose yourself in public,
your private sins.
One usually makes one's appearances good for others
to see because they can be seen.
And only when one's appearances are seen by
them.
The same logic applies to the heart.
It is seen by Allah all the time.
Therefore, one should make the heart good for
Allah by cleansing it from all impurities and
adorning it with the best traits.
Just like you dress yourself up for others,
we have to make sure that we adorn
our heart for Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
There's one Hadith that I'll share and then
we'll conclude with some Q&A inshallah.
This Hadith I've always found to be very
interesting.
I think one of my favorite genre of
teachings of the Prophet Isa A.S. is
the genre where the Prophet Isa A.S.
makes, he makes spirituality so accessible.
Okay, he makes it so accessible.
And part of making it accessible is by
showing you how it's possible to do all
the time.
Okay, so I'll share with you this Hadith
that I think is remarkable.
The Prophet Isa A.S., he says that,
Worship Allah as if you can see him.
That's the beginning of the Hadith.
Okay, worship Allah in a state as if
you're aware of him being right in front
of you.
Some scholars would say that when they stepped
up to the prayer mat, they would actually
lower their head and they would imagine that
they were on the Sirat, the bridge.
That was part of the test on the
Day of Judgment, that you have to cross
in order to make it to Jannah.
So they said, as I stood and said
Allahu Akbar, I was imagining myself on the
Sirat.
So, And then he says, وَعْدُ نَفْسَكَ مِنَ
الْمَوْتَةِ Account yourself as if you're already from
those who have passed away.
Like, take account from yourself as if you
are somebody that has already passed away, that
you're already gone.
Like, I don't have a never-ending timeline
to fix my problems.
I have to take care of everything that
I have today.
Okay, and then he says, وَذْكُرَ اللَّهُ عِنْدَ
كُلِّ حَجَرٍ وَشَجَرٍ And this is the part
that always kind of like, just shakes me.
He says, remember Allah as you walk by
every stone and every single tree.
One of the things about spirituality that is
lost, I think, on the modern era, is
that everything around us is a sign reminding
us of the Creator.
Every single thing.
One of my teachers used to say that
we drive by these billboards that have different
advertisements.
And there's like a billboard every, like what,
60 seconds?
You see a new billboard giving you a
new sign.
And he says that in between those billboards,
there's hundreds of signs reminding people about Allah
and they ignore them.
There's like trees and rivers and like, well,
not in Dallas.
In Dallas, there's like buildings, you know, and
more bridges, which are signs of Allah because
the human mind, you know, created them.
But anyways, no, but you can see like
all of these blades of grass and these
trees.
Actually, Dallas, low-key, some of the most
beautiful nature is like under the bridges.
You're like, why can't we walk there, right?
There's like these beautiful ponds and they're like,
no, no, no, not for you, right?
You have parking lots.
But you drive past these things and these
are signs.
These are signs to remember Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala.
But the billboard is trying to convince you
to what?
Go shopping, right?
Sign up for car insurance.
Go there, go here, watch the cowboys.
That's it.
The signs are calling you towards the dunya.
But in between them, there's hundreds if not
thousands of reminders.
Every drive that you make to remember Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala.
So he says, remember Allah amongst every rock
and every tree that you pass.
And then he says, وَإِذَا عَمِلْتَ السَّيِّئَةَ And
if you ever commit a bad deed, فَعْمَلْ
بِجَنْبِهَا حَسَنَةً Then do a good deed right
next to it.
Do a good deed right next to it.
This is one of the greatest levels of
self-awareness.
Of a person realizing what?
That that sin has been recorded, I have
to wipe it out.
And the Prophet peace be upon him, he
said, السِّرُّ بِالسِّرِّ وَالْعَلَانِيَةُ بِالْعَلَانِيَةِ He says, do
secret deeds for secret deeds and public ones
for public deeds.
Which means that when you make a mistake
in secret, then do a good deed in
secret to make up for it.
And when you make a mistake in public,
then do a good deed in public to
make up for it.
Meaning, match the quality of the deed to
erase it and to fix it.
This hadith gives us the steps to understand
how to realize this level of remembrance of
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Number one is that we have to be
regular in our worship with Him.
If anyone wants to know how they are
with Allah, first question is, how is my
prayer?
That's it.
First question, how is my prayer?
If my prayer is lacking, فَمَن كَانَ لِصَلَاتِهِ
مُضِيعًا فَلِغَيْدِهَا أَضِيَعًا Umar said, he said, if
the person's salah is weak, everything else is
weak.
Like I can tell you right away.
It's like the foundation of a home.
Doesn't matter if the house is beautiful.
If the foundation is cracked, I can tell
you those doors are not closing.
Those windows are not opening.
Those seams are going to be exposed soon.
The foundation is key.
So the salah is a quick indicator.
Number two, think about death as much as
you can.
But not in a morbid way.
Not in a way that stops you and
paralyzes you and makes you feel.
No, think about it in a way that
motivates you, that pushes you.
You know, think that when you get into
a fight with somebody, think about what happens
if I die tonight.
And this is the last thing that we
ever said to each other.
That's how you use death to improve your
life.
Not, you don't think about death in a
way that's like morbid.
You think about it in a way that's
motivating.
Right?
If you're reconsidering donating something, think what if
I die tonight?
All that money that I'm planning on spending,
I'm not going to spend it, I'm gone.
I might as well use it right now,
give some sadaqa right now because I can't
do anything once I'm gone.
So using death as a remembrance tool.
The third is to be a person that
is constantly seeing Allah in every single scenario
that you're in.
Remembering Allah in every single scenario.
Abu Bakr used to say Bismillah with every
bite because every morsel of food reminded him
of Allah.
And so what is our measure of how
often we can remember Allah?
How can we do this better?
And the third, or the fourth, sorry, and
the last, is that whenever you commit a
mistake because it's bound to happen, be the
person that owns up to it.
Don't forget about it.
Don't ignore it.
Don't neglect it.
Mistakes that are forgotten and neglected are the
weights that carry people to the fire of
*.
Mistakes that are remembered and repented for are
the elevators that carry people to Jannah.
The mistake is not the problem, it's how
we respond to it.
So he says here, treat your mistakes with
care and sincerity and treat them with a
good deed that will erase it.
We ask Allah Ta'ala to give us
Tawfiq.
We ask Allah Ta'ala to make us
those that are aware and that realize that
Allah Ta'ala knows every single thing about
our existence.
He knows all the thoughts that we have.
He knows the struggles that we carry.
He knows the things that we intend.
He knows the battles that we're fighting.
He knows the anxieties that we have.
Allah Ta'ala knows everything that we have.
We ask Allah Ta'ala to be with
us in all scenarios, in all situations.
We ask Allah Ta'ala to be our
comfort and our relief.
We ask Allah Ta'ala to be our
strength and our courage.
We ask Allah Ta'ala to be our
reminder and our guide.
We ask Allah Ta'ala to forgive us
for our shortcomings and to give us more
opportunity to do good, to become closer to
Him.
Ameen.
Okay, let's go ahead and do a couple
of questions inshaAllah and then we'll break for
Isha.
Is there a dua for someone struggling with
their faith, feeling distant from Allah and or
believing their difficulties are a result of past
wrongdoings?
So let's start from the end and go
forward.
It's very very important that a person does
not fall into the trap of trying to
assign like in a linear fashion that because
I made this mistake now that's why I'm
struggling.
And I know that some people do this
to other people like they'll say oh what
sin did you commit and this and that.
But it's not a healthy mindset nor is
it prophetic.
The Prophet peace be upon him, he never
told us that if you misfedger you're going
to have a headache that day.
Like we didn't learn about the linear connection
between mistakes and their consequences.
Okay, so don't do that.
Don't fall into that trap.
I know it's easier said than done but
just realize that the way that good deeds
and sins work is that they don't necessarily
even have direct outcomes in this life.
You may never see the result of all
of your good deeds here.
It's entirely possible.
You may also never see the result of
all of your sins here.
Right?
May Allah ta'ala protect us.
So the reality is don't fall into that
trap because then it becomes like a weird
like you're keeping score.
It's like a ledger.
Like you're checking your balance.
Like okay did I sin today?
That's why this is happening.
Just trust that Allah ta'ala is the
one who cares most for you and is
protecting you.
If a person is struggling with their faith
and feeling distant from Allah as the famous
TikTok philosopher once said ask yourself who moved?
And I think that that's a really important
position to carry which is if I feel
distant from Allah I have to first look
in the mirror and I have to see
where am I at.
Am I doing the things that Allah ta
'ala expects from me, asks of me.
If I'm doing those things, give it some
time.
Give it some time.
If I just started recently you're going to
find actually Shaytan is most intense on a
person who is like right at the start
of their U-turn.
That's where he's most intense because that's where
the person any resistance will convince them to
turn back.
You know?
But you have to stick it through during
that revolution that you're making against your soul.
You have to stick it through and be
strong in that moment.
So Shaytan is going to try to make
a person feel most distant when they're really
making significant progress.
And so you have to be patient and
work through it inshallah.
Get through that bit.
I would say is there a du'a?
Yeah, there's a few du'as that you
can make.
You know, if you look up the Master
of Forgiveness is what it's called.
Master of Seeking Forgiveness, Sayyid al-istighfar.
It's really really beautiful.
SubhanAllah, it's long but it's nice.
You can read it.
You don't have to memorize it.
But also be around good people and make
sure that you have some level of connection
with the Masjid.
Make sure you have that as your regiment.
Hi, I'm a convert expecting my first child
soon.
Mashallah Mubarak.
My wife and I are discussing the topic
of circumcision for our child.
Can you explain why it's compulsory?
Another time inshallah.
It's just one of those things that is
a prophetic mandate.
Right?
The why is it compulsory, that's like in
a way it's an easy question.
It's an easy answer.
It's prophetically mandated.
The wisdom as to why it's compulsory, that's
a longer conversation.
Okay, let me see.
Alhamdulillah, I can now afford Hajj but it
may leave my family living paycheck to paycheck.
Should I fulfill my obligation now or wait
until I'm more stable?
These questions really are best asked with a
lot more context.
To somebody that knows you best, sending these
questions in this kind of format, it's going
to get an answer that just doesn't feel
complete.
My answer is, you know best.
That's my answer.
You know your finances best.
Is it obligatory?
It's obligatory when a person can afford it.
But again, being paycheck to paycheck, I don't
know exactly how you're interpreting that.
Does that mean that there's zero dollars in
case of emergency, zero dollars in savings?
That could be its own concession.
So I would go to somebody that you
know personally if you're asking this question, if
you're watching or if you're here and show
some bank statements and try to figure out,
okay, if then what happens, inshallah.
Okay?
Oh wow.
Can we listen to Islamic talks which may
include Quran, Allah's name via airpods while cleaning,
doing skin care in the washroom?
What if the toilet seat is shut?
Sounds like you already do this.
That's a great question.
I don't know.
I'll ask Shaykh.
He's going to be here in like 30
minutes.
I'll ask him.
So the restriction on the bathroom is not
like the sink area by the way.
The restriction on the bathroom is the toilet
area.
So the restriction on like speaking or mentioning
the name of Allah, etc, that's specific to
the toilet area.
But like if your bathroom has like a,
if you could draw a straight line and
your toilet area was kind of like in
one side of it and the sink and
the shower or maybe the vanity or whatever
was on the other side, then technically it's
the side where the toilet is that is
more, that is the prohibition.
Right?
But if you're like near your bathroom sink
and you're doing skin care, then that's okay.
But obviously you shouldn't be listening to stuff
like on the toilet.
So that would be the answer that I
think applies to this.
If your bathroom is like super small, if
it's like a guest bathroom size and like
the toilet is right there, then yeah, I
would avoid it.
But if it's like one of those bathrooms
that's a little bit more spacious, then as
long as you're away from the toilet and
that area is kind of like sectioned off,
then go ahead and do your skin care
while listening to talks.
I would avoid listening to Quran, but if
you listen to like talks and stuff, that's
fine.
How do I make up for intentionally broken
fasts?
I was really dumb in college and I
don't want to die with this debt, subhanAllah.
That's regret.
That's madama.
This is again a little bit more context
because it depends on how many If you
can go and talk to an imam or
if you want to message me on telegram,
I'll do my best to get you an
answer.
But it depends on a few things.
Because otherwise it can get, if it's like
years and years and years, it can get
really overwhelming.
And so there would be different rulings for
that.
Am I able to still donate if I
have debt?
It depends on what kind of debt.
If it's what we call like functional debt,
like a car payment or a house payment,
that's not the definition of debt.
If you're paying something off over time, that's
not the definition of debt that we are
applying.
Debt that you're applying is when you have
an imperative to pay something off as soon
as possible.
So if someone loaned you money and you
have to pay them back ASAP, you should
not be spending any money extraneously while you
are in debt to that person.
But if you have an agreement over 36
months, you're paying for some appliances that you
purchased, your interest, that's not the same as
debt debt.
Does that make sense?
So there's functional debt and then there is
more acute debt.
If you have acute debt, you got to
pay that off.
But if you have functional debt, which is
house payment, car payment, etc., then that doesn't
apply.
Those same logistics don't apply.
Some of these are like really personal so
I'm just going to skip over them.
We'll do one more inshallah.
Wow.
This is crazy.
It's like a little potpourri tonight.
It's like a little bit of everything.
It's like going to a buffet.
Okay.
I met a few people for marriage, but
family nitpicking creates issues.
I avoid conflict and run, which is unfair,
makes the process overwhelming and disheartening advice.
A couple things.
Number one is okay, three things.
Yeah, three.
Okay.
So the first thing is it's always better
to have very serious conversations not at the
moment of crisis, but in between crises.
So if there's a recurring issue in your
life with family, don't wait for that to
happen to have that conversation.
Try to have it in a moment where
everyone is stable.
Because when anxieties are high, when emotions are
high, that's when everyone is unable or no
one is able to have a sensible conversation.
There's no way.
Okay.
So if the family nitpicking creates issues, you
need to figure out a way to bring
this up and have a conversation in between
proposals.
Don't bring it up as it's happening, because
that's just going to go south.
Okay.
Number two is part of getting married is
being courageous.
Like part of getting married is having to
stand up and be courageous in that moment.
Not offensive.
Courageous does not mean physically courageous.
I'm not talking about beating somebody up.
Part of it is having to be able
to be direct and to be firm and
to be clear and to understand the risks
and to understand all of that and to
be a person that can demonstrate that you
are aware of all of the variables and
that you still come to this decision.
That's part of it.
So if a person can't have tough conversations,
then I have bad news about marriage itself.
If you can't have the tough conversation about
getting married, then wait until you get married.
Because there's a lot of tough conversations that
happen.
The process of getting married is almost like
of the greatest practices for marriage, because I'm
not even talking about with your spouse, but
there will be conversations that come up with
your spouse's family, even after marriage.
They don't go away.
Neither does your family.
You get married, your family is still hanging
around.
Right?
Telling you what to name your kid and
this and that.
So that's there.
And the third thing, and we'll end with
this, because the Adhan is going.
I want us all to be, and I'm
not doubting you at all, whoever asked this
question.
I want us all to be a little
bit introspective and perhaps a little bit thoughtful
about is it nitpicking or are they bringing
up good points?
Is it nitpicking or are they bringing up
points that I'm sensitive to because they have
some validity?
You know best.
I'm not there.
Don't bring me there.
But if you're in this situation, part of
what makes those tough conversations easier, remember point
number one, is when you're able to actually
see the perspective of the one who is
challenging your wish.
If you can restate what they're saying back
to them in a way that shows that
you are fully aware of what they're saying,
you actually might be able to win them
over.
Right?
It's not about two people that are constantly
reiterating their point.
There's an activity that we do with people
that's called talkbacks.
Right?
Tell me what I just said.
Because a lot of disagreements happen when two
people are not able to articulate what the
other person is saying.
In this scenario, if somebody says, I know
you want to marry this person, but I'm
worried because of this, one good activity is
literally just to restate what they said.
Don't say, but no!
Say, okay, I get it.
I know that you're concerned about this and
this and maybe even this.
Give them a little something.
Don't try to protect your...
Say, maybe you're concerned about this.
I could also see your point.
Right?
This person has this.
They're from here.
They have this.
It's long distance.
Yeah.
Like, basically make their argument for them.
One of the greatest books of Hanafi Fiqh
is called Shahr Marid Athar, Imam Tahawi.
He actually argues the points for them and
then he what?
He says, this is why you're wrong.
But he argues their points best.
Like, if you're not a Hanafi, you could
actually learn your Shafi'i Fiqh from this
book before he then disproves it.
If you just took the first half of
every chapter, you become a Shafi'.
But then the second half, he disproves you.
So, when you're disagreeing with somebody about something
like marriage or whatever, go to them and
re-evaluate, restate their points for them.
Right?
I just want to make sure I'm hearing
this correctly.
Okay?
Or, is this why you're worried?
Is this why you're concerned?
Because of this point, this point, this point?
Yes, exactly.
I'm so happy you get it.
You're like, yeah, I do get it, actually.
And I actually think that you have some,
that you're right.
I think you're right.
But my point is that that doesn't weigh
as heavy as this for me.
And see if that makes any progress.
Now, I know, and by the way, it's
not one conversation.
I'm going to get a lot of messages.
I tried, didn't work.
It takes time.
But let's start there.
Let's see if the nitpicking is actually nitpicking
or if they're valid feedback.
We ask Allah Ta'ala to make things
easy.
And as always, Allah Ta'ala knows best.
BarakAllahu feekum, everybody.
Jazakum wa khayran.
SubhanakAllahu huma bihamdik nashadu an la ilaha illa
anta nassaghfiru wa antubu ilayk.
My 9 year old is here and she
said, she heard you when you said you
can lie when someone asks you about a
sin.
Please help.
Okay.
You cannot lie.
But if somebody tries to ask you about
something that is secret, then you can not
tell them the secret.
How about that?
Okay.