AbdelRahman Murphy – Thirty & Up #24 Treasury Of Imam Al-Ghazāli
AI: Summary ©
The importance of love and addiction in religion is emphasized, with examples like women experiencing struggles with love and addiction. The shrouds of people in their life and their parents are also highlighted. The importance of learning about different madhlan and finding a third opinion in seeking advice is emphasized, along with the need for love for a partner. The importance of learning about different madhlan and finding a third opinion is also emphasized.
AI: Summary ©
Okay, assalamu alaikum.
Bismillah.
Bismillah walhamdulillah wa salatu wassalamu ala rasoolillahi wa
ala alihi wa ashabihi ajma'in.
Welcome home everybody.
It's good to see you, alhamdulillah.
Here before the snowpocalypse, insha'Allah.
Hope everybody has their milk and eggs.
Insha'Allah.
In all seriousness, I made the mistake as
a Chicagoan.
I made the mistake of, you know, driving.
So what Dallas experiences as cold weather, like
snow and all that, for a lot of
the country is like normal driving conditions.
But I want to just share with you.
Number one, they don't have salt trucks here.
So if you're new from like the Northeast
or from the Midwest, they don't have salt
trucks.
So it's not the same.
And the second is that everybody else is
driving like there's no ice on the ground.
So while you might be careful, the person
next to you or in front of you
may not be careful.
So you might be confident in your own
driving skills, but unless you're confident in like
every other Dallas Texan driving around you, then
I would be just be very careful insha
'Allah when you drive.
I would hate for anyone here to be
in an accident or anything like that.
So may Allah Ta'ala keep us all
safe insha'Allah.
And may Allah Ta'ala really, I mean,
more than more than us in our driving.
May Allah Ta'ala give warmth to those
people that, subhanAllah, they don't have it.
And this temperature is really affecting them.
Of course, the brothers and sisters in Gaza
that are experiencing on top of everything now,
you know, the temperature, subhanAllah.
May Allah Ta'ala make it easy.
You know, we come here and every week
that we are witnessing a genocide, every Monday,
every Tuesday, like there's like this weird thought
that always goes into, you know, my consciousness,
which is like we're here lecturing and we're
lecturing about different topics and we're talking about
different things.
And these things are not directly, directly related
to relieving the difficulties of our brothers and
sisters.
And so it feels like at sometimes there's
a little bit of like a gap or
even like generally there's a contradiction in what
we're saying and what we're doing.
But I have to remind myself and I
want to remind everybody here that our goal
when it comes to coming to these gatherings
is coming closer to Allah subhanahu wa ta
'ala.
And we hope that by that proximity that
the virtue of our du'as will be
stronger.
That's what we're gaining.
So if someone wants to ask or someone
thinks, because I think this all the time,
like what is the connection between these hadaqas
that I go to and the relief of
my brothers and sisters who are being oppressed
is that I'm hoping that by virtue of
attending these things, my du'as will be
more intense and more strong and heard and
answered in a way that is more immediate
insha'Allah.
So make that consideration a part of your
intention as we seek knowledge insha'Allah and
as we purify our hearts and souls.
Okay.
Bismillah.
Tonight's number 24, this 24th section of this
book called Kunuz al-Ghazali, The Treasury of
al-Ghazali by Dr. Mustafa Abu Suay.
And it's an amazing topic subhanAllah.
It's one that is often times overlooked and
sometimes can be used as sort of like
a cliche.
So Imam Ghazali does a great job at
threading the needle perfectly and making sure that
this vocabulary that he's going to bring up
tonight is one that is not used as
a way to sort of like gloss over
an important topic, but also at the same
time, it adds some practical, some goals, some
spiritual goals to the person.
And that word that he wants to talk
about tonight is love.
And he's not talking about love between two
people romantically.
He's talking about the essence of every single
person's relationship with their creator.
And a lot of times when you talk
about religion and people say things like the
relationship or the essence of our relationship with
God is love, you know, sometimes, especially those
who are a little bit more initiated into
the religious studies think, okay, well this is
kind of like, it's cotton candy speak, right?
It's like soft.
And you know, people might even look at
other religious traditions and they say things like
God is love and you'll say that that
doesn't actually mean anything.
But the reality is, subhanAllah, that Islam and
the Quran especially talks about and deals with
this concept of love not only as a
mechanism of emotion, but as a metric, as
a metric, as a way to measure what
your relationship with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
is.
We all have that, right?
When we think about our relationship with other
people, we measure that relationship by the love
that we have for that person.
Like you could be sitting somewhere and you
see something that reminds you of somebody and
you love that person.
So just the sheer visual of that thing
puts a smile on your face because you
love that person, right?
And the opposite is also true.
Like you could hate somebody and by seeing
something that reminds you of them, it makes
you feel, you know, not very good.
But in the measurement of love is how
you determine how close you are to somebody.
And the more you love somebody, the more
you think of them, the more you talk
to them, right?
And even if you're unable to talk to
them frequently as much as you'd like, when
you do reach out and make contact, there's
almost like this silent understanding.
And there's almost this, subhanAllah, like distance shortens
between the two of you and it feels
like what?
It feels like we never skipped a beat.
You know, you could reach out and talk
to a friend once a year, but it
feels like you talk to each other every
day because the intensity of the love that
you have for one another, right?
And so this is what Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala, there's a hadith Qudsi where Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala on the Day of
Judgment will send out a call or He
will proclaim about a certain category of people.
And He will call out for a type
of person, He says, Where are those people
who love one another for My sake alone,
right?
And when you say the phrase, for example,
like I love you for the sake of
Allah, it can feel a little bit, in
our context, a little bit conflicting or confusing
because you feel like, man, you don't love
Me for Me?
Like I only love you for the sake
of Allah.
You know, Wallahi, if it weren't for Allah,
I'd have no love for you.
You know, the framing of that sentence can
become confusing to the person that is, you
know, maybe a little bit on the nafsical
side.
But to love somebody for the sake of
Allah is actually a very powerful type of
love because it indicates that no matter what
differences there are between us, I have such
a deep love for you that all the
differences that might logically pull us apart, they're
nothing compared to the force that brings us
together.
One of the stories from the seerah that
brings this to my mind, which is so
important, is the story of Salman al-Farisi.
You know, may Allah be pleased with him.
Salman al-Farisi, he is a Persian, and
Persians in the time of the Prophet, peace
be upon him, amongst the Arabs are the
enemies.
And even, I mean, really until today, right,
the idea like, you know, historical Persia, historical
Arabia, like, those two regions do not get
along in a lot of ways.
Right, culturally there's been a lot of tension,
a lot of bad energy, and that's something
that comes from their tribal origins.
So when Salman al-Farisi journeys down from
Persia, across the Levant, and makes his way
through Sham, and makes his way all the
way into the city of Medina, the city
of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him,
and he meets what is now going to
become his new brothers and his new sisters,
to see the warmth and embrace that they
give him is a testimony to this fact.
That their love for their brother is more
than their disdain for some other cultural tribal
baggage that they had.
Right, and this is the nature of what
loving for the sake of Allah can do.
But a person cannot achieve this love if
they don't love Allah more than anything else.
A lot of times we look at community,
and everybody has some level of, you know,
what do I put this, everyone has a
grievance with the community.
Right, so like for me, it's like when
I prayed in that one time, that one
masjid, and I didn't have my topi on,
and this uncle during prayer just came and
put a topi on my head.
Right, or like, you know, my wife will
tell me stories about she's praying taraweeh, and
she's like in the middle of Salah, and
there's an auntie that just comes and tucks
in her hair and her hijab.
Mid-prayer, mid-prayer, like we all have
grievances.
Parking, right, we all have grievances about different
parts of the community.
But you know what's crazy is that all
those grievances are just human realities.
Like I often times explain to people that
the things that you experience in the Muslim
community are not specific to us, as much
as they feel that they are, they're not.
They're human realities, and in those, there are
different ways that they're articulated, there are different
ways that they are manifest, but they're all
the same.
But the difference is in the Muslim community,
we have a deep love of Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala that allows us to overlook
these small frictions.
When I say small, I mean relative to
the love of Allah.
So Imam Ghazali here has a beautiful passage
where he wants to impart upon us this
important ethic.
It's almost like this is the first thing
you should know if you want to be
a part of this ummah.
And this is interesting because I'm just coming
back from Umrah, and Umrah is like a
reminder of what the ummah is.
It really is.
You know the feeling you feel on Eid
when you look around and you see thousands
of Muslims and you're like, wow, this is
amazing, right?
And all your neighbors are like, that's scary.
We're like, this is amazing.
When you go to Umrah and you go
to Hajj, and you see all of these
people there, and you're literally like, you become
invisible.
You just blend in, you know, as much
as you think that you are, you know,
American, or you have this senior position at
your company, or you're this or you're that.
The reality is when you go to Umrah
and you're, you know, as a man, you're
wearing two white towels.
And as a sister, you're wearing some plain,
simple clothing, abaya or something, and you're making
tawaf.
The reality is like, nobody notices you.
Nobody cares.
And that's good.
That's actually a good thing.
They care about you.
Like if you fell down, they would help
you up.
But nobody's going to stop and ask you,
you know, for your autograph or this and
that.
Nobody.
Right?
And the testament of that is I was
one time there when Mufti Menk was making
tawaf.
And nobody even bothered him.
Right?
Which is crazy.
Because Mufti Menk is by far the most
famous Muslim in history.
Right?
He's everywhere, mashallah.
So all of this, it leads me to
think about, as we think about what it
means to be an ummah, that the core
and the nucleus of this membership is loving
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
So Imam Ghazali says, He
says, no.
Like if you want to belong to this
ummah, understand this point.
We are unanimous.
Muslims differ on a lot of things.
Muslims differ on a lot of things.
And that's okay.
It's part of actually the structure of our
legal system.
Right?
Whether or not to pray like this, this
or even this.
Whether or not the beard should be this
long or this long or if this is
okay.
Whether or not this is a...
Muslims have legal differences on a lot of
things.
And believe it or not, this happened during
the life of the Prophet Muhammad peace be
upon him.
A lot of times we think, oh, if
only he were here with us today, we
would have no differences.
No, no, we would.
Right?
I'll give you an example of this.
Do you know that in the prayer, in
the prayer, the part where we say, when
we're sitting, it's called jalsa.
Okay?
And we're doing what's called the tashahud.
Do you know that in the masjid of
the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him, behind
him, meaning in his jama'ah, in his
congregation, there were 12 different variations of how
to say that passage.
Like very big companions, names that you've heard.
Abdullah bin Mas'ud, Abdullah bin Umar, Abdullah
bin Abbas.
All of these companions had slightly different variations
on how they would say it.
And so, this is an indication, and there's
a lot more examples, that uniformity is not
a requirement of love.
Like being exactly the same.
And this is again a misunderstanding.
Sometimes we say, I can only love you
if you're exactly like me.
If you practice exactly like me.
If you dress exactly like me.
I can only love you as my Muslim
brother or sister if we are indistinguishable from
one another.
But that's never how Islam nor the Muslims
have ever been.
The one thing that Imam Ghazali says is
unanimous amongst all differences, is that we love
Allah and His Messenger.
That's what brings us together.
Loving Allah and His Messenger is something so
powerful, that even the most distant of Muslims,
when we are in our most distant phases,
all of us, when we fall away from
the path, we can't claim much, but we
can claim that we still love Allah and
His Messenger.
Right?
So, he says that this is an obligation.
This is something that is an obligation.
Fardun.
And then he continues and he says, and
he's kind of asking a theoretical question here.
He says, وَكَيْفَ يُفْرَضُ مَا لَا وُجُودَ لَهُ
وَكَيْفَ يُفَسَّرُ الْحُبُّ بِطَعَةِ وَتَعَاتُ تَبَعُ الْحُبِّ وَثَمَرَاتُهُ
He says, how is it possible that something
can be made an obligation if it were
non-existent?
Meaning, if Allah says that you have to
love God and His Messenger, and this is
part of a requirement for being Muslim, he
says that the only way that we would
know that this is a requirement is that
it's observable.
Right?
It's observable.
If somebody is a beloved of something, we
observe it.
There are those people that are Dallas Cowboys
fans.
They love them.
You know, through the good and the bad.
And there's a lot more bad than there
is good.
You know?
And Subhanallah, but Allah might be giving me
something because the coach of the Dallas Cowboys
is interviewing with the Chicago Bears.
And that's my team.
So this is actually the worst day, subhanallah
for me.
I am having to eat all the words
that I said.
People are being put through trial and tribulation
with their love, and they still represent it.
Today at the gym, I saw a guy
wearing a Dallas Cowboys hoodie.
I said, have some shame, man.
They're nowhere to be seen.
Like, you're in the cold of Dallas, they're
in Cabo already on vacation.
Have some shame.
You know?
And he started laughing.
But the point is, what?
I know that he loves the Cowboys.
Why?
Because even in the darkest of times, he's
got that logo on his chest proudly.
Right?
So Imam Ghazali says, we agree that philosophically
we have to love Allah and His Messenger.
Right?
That's the one thing that makes a Muslim,
Muslim.
But then he says, it's not enough that
a person can claim it, but a person
has to be able to demonstrate it.
And that's why he says, how do we
demonstrate this love of Allah and His Messenger?
He says, we demonstrate it through means of
our obedience and the fruit of that love.
Then he says, in order for a person
to find the obedience and the fruit of
that love, they must first establish that they
love their beloved.
That they love Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
And that love, again, cannot be theoretical.
In the Quran, Allah ta'ala, He tells
the Prophet peace be upon him, because I
want you to remember that the people that
the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him came
to, the people that he came to, they
claimed to love God.
Okay?
They weren't like atheists.
Some had a religion, right, in the Abrahamic
faith.
Some were pagans.
But they all had the claim that they
loved God.
They loved Allah.
Okay?
Now, some of them said that Allah has
daughters.
Some of them said that Allah had a
son.
Some of them said, but they all claimed
to be adherents to Allah.
So there's a verse in the Quran where
Allah kind of, I don't want to say
pushes back, but challenges what it means to
love Allah.
He says, قُلْ إِن كُنْتُمْ تُحِبُّونَ اللَّهَ فَاتَّبِعُونِ
He tells the Prophet peace be upon him,
he says قُلْ, which means is command, say,
إِن كُنْتُمْ تُحِبُّونَ اللَّهَ If you truly love
Allah, as you say you do, فَاتَّبِعُونِ Then
the Prophet is saying peace be upon him,
you have to follow my path.
This is the path, by the way, this
is not him saying that I'm the special
one.
No, Allah is telling him to say to
people that what?
I've been the one that's been chosen, I've
been the one that's been given the responsibility,
the charge of messengership.
And if you truly want to live up
to this claim that you love God, then
part of that is that you have to
follow the one who God has chosen, who
is Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم So he
says that in order for love to happen,
and a lot of us might feel in
our hearts like, oh man, I hope I
do love Allah, because we look at the
tree that's supposed to be representative of that
love and we're not seeing many fruit.
So we're like, oh man, I hope I
love Allah.
He says the proof is that you find
yourself turning to Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى frequently.
And he gives an example, he gives an
example.
He says, Allah تعالى in the Qur'an
says in this verse, O believers, whoever amongst
you turns from their religion, then Allah سُبْحَانَهُ
وَ تَعَالَى will bring forward a people that
he loves.
So this is Allah تعالى addressing the believers
and saying, if you turn away from this
faith, right, the result of that is not
going to be anything grievous to Allah سُبْحَانَهُ
وَ تَعَالَى in the sense that you don't
cause God any harm.
Rather the only one that's being affected by
turning away from Allah is the person turning
away themselves.
And Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى says, there will
always be a people that will fill in
the gap that you left.
Because you turned away from God, there will
be people that turn towards God and Allah
will allow them to enter into this community.
And I can't help but think about, subhanAllah,
when we look at the numbers, right, if
you look at, for example, the ISPU and
some of these people that do polling, we
look at the numbers of people that convert
to Islam and people that leave Islam.
And we're finding that those numbers of those
who reportedly were born Muslim but leave Islam,
which is a high number, it's considerable worldwide.
And then we're looking at these people that
were born into an environment and a family
and an ecosystem where there's no reason for
them to ever consider Islam.
Some of them even are born with Islam
as the object of their hatred.
And they're finding Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى and
that's where their love of Allah is being
ignited, the spark that they have.
So this verse is not so much a
threat as it is a description of reality.
That there will always be those people, for
some reason or another, that they will make
the decision that they want to turn away
from Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى May Allah protect
us and our families from being amongst them.
But those people need to remember that you
leaving the seat vacant, it will not remain
vacant for very long.
Because perhaps right behind you there will be
somebody that will come in and that will
fill that spot before it can even cool,
it will still be warm.
And someone will come in and say أَشْهَدُ
أَن لَا إِلَهَ إِلَى اللَّهِ وَأَشْهَدُ أَن مُحَمَّدٌ
رَسُولُ اللَّهِ before you even had chance to
leave.
And they will find their spot there.
So the love of Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى
will never be diminished from the Ummah of
the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم.
And then he says that he will love
them, they will love him, this is Allah.
They will be humble towards the believers, they
will have an honorable disdain towards those who
reject and they will struggle on the path
of Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى never fearing the
blame of anyone who blames.
This is the bounty of Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ
تَعَالَى and he gives it to whoever he
wills.
He also says in another verse, he says
there are people, سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى this is
a verse in Surah Al-Baqarah so if
you want to write it down, it's chapter
2, verse number 165.
He says, there are those who choose to
worship those other than Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى
وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَنْ يَتَّخِذُ مِنْ دُونِ اللَّهِ أَنْدَادًا
that they choose to worship other than Allah
سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى Now this is not like
the literal necessarily always form of worship.
You know when I was a kid and
they talked about worshiping idols, I always assumed
it was like a very like clear black
and white.
There was somebody like bowing to the horse
in front of P.F. Chang's.
That's what I thought, like that's what I
thought.
It always had to be that.
And I never realized that there could be
many forms of idols, right?
Like idolatry could take the form of money,
it could take the form of status, fame,
wealth.
It also could take the form of a
horse in front of P.F. Chang's.
But really in reality, idolatry is this very
vague concept.
Basically it's whenever somebody chooses, reveres, you know,
defers, devotes themselves knowingly, intentionally to something in
opposition of Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى And so
Allah here in the Quran says مَنْ يَتَّخِذُ
مِنْ دُونِ اللَّهِ أَنْدَادًا There are those that
take others that are rivals of Allah سُبْحَانَهُ
وَ تَعَالَى as their objects of worship.
And He describes what it means to worship.
He says يُحِبُّونَهُمْ تَحُبِّ اللَّهِ They love those
things with the love that should only be
for Allah.
Like they love that thing, that object تَحُبِّ
اللَّهِ with a love that only should be
reserved for Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى If you
think about it like when we love somebody
we love them because their position, their status,
their place in our life is incomparable to
anybody else.
You know when a person thinks of their
parents in most scenarios, I know that there
are some exceptions, right?
May Allah تعالى make it easy.
But when they think generally of their parents
or their spouse or their kids things that
are typically the objects of love Why?
Why are those supposed to be much higher
than anybody else?
Because these things are irreplaceable.
My daughter everyday asks me, Baba who's your
best friend?
I think she's at the age where she's
trying to figure out who her best friend
is or what it means to have a
best friend.
So I always tell her, Baba, I have
a lot of good friends.
I have a lot of people that I
love.
She goes, no, who's your best friend?
So I'm not an idiot.
I say mama, right?
Immediately.
I say, mama, mama is my best friend.
And they say, no, not her.
And then I'm still not an idiot.
So I say, you and Musa.
And then she goes, no, not from the
family.
We know that you love us.
But it's funny because imagine if she asked
that question and I immediately went to somebody
else.
She'd be like, you don't love us?
Because there's a position that's irreparable.
You cannot replace those people.
So in this verse, Allah subhanahu wa ta
'ala is even greater than that.
He's challenging this.
He's saying, يُحِبُّونَهُمْ كَعُبِّ اللَّهِ Can you believe
it?
There are people that love something in a
devoted fashion that only Allah is worth that
love.
Only Allah is worth that love.
Think of everything that you do just for
Allah.
That would be inexplicable.
Like you cannot explain it to anybody else
that it would make sense to do this
for anybody else.
Think of Ramadan, which is coming soon.
May Allah give us Ramadan.
What we do, the transformation that we go
through Ramadan is unlike anything.
The gyms right now are filled with people.
First week of January.
And so at the front desk, you talk
to them, and they're like, Hey, just wait
it out.
It's only going to be a couple more
days.
Especially because it's cold.
People start to fall off.
And it's interesting because, subhanallah, the nature of
the first year revolution statistic, or not first
year, new year revolution statistic, the first of
the new year, is I think most people
fail by like January 12th.
That's what I read somewhere.
I don't know if it's true.
Most people fail within what?
Two weeks of their resolution.
Their new me.
Their transformation.
People cannot even transform for their own sake.
And that includes us, by the way.
I don't want us to be like looking
at these people.
No.
I saw you have chai.
You said no sugar eight days ago, right?
So we give up on ourselves, but Ramadan
comes and shows us that we don't give
up on Allah.
Isn't that interesting?
I've always thought, especially for those who struggle
with smoking, that Ramadan is a really interesting
month.
Because while everyone else is having dates and
water, they're outside with a cigarette.
And I've always thought, sure, smoking is not
good.
It's like the source of so many diseases.
It's haram.
It's this and this.
But I said, man, that is something beautiful.
Not that they broke their fast on a
cigarette.
Because you still can get the sin of
just having a date.
But they were committed enough to Allah to
say, oh, Allah, like this is actually an
addiction.
And many of us have other addictions.
But this is an addiction, and I'm going
to fight against myself.
Why?
For the sake of Allah.
Because Allah wants me to in this month.
And they could argue, oh, it's not food.
It's not drink.
It's not this.
It's not that.
There's loopholes, even though none of them hold
water.
But there's loopholes.
But the person says, no.
I'm not going to do that for Allah.
So he says that they love their gods
with a love that only should be given
to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Then Allah ta'ala says, والذين آمنوا أشد
حبا لله Those who believe, one of the
key characteristics, the hallmarks of their love is
that they are intense in their love for
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Intense.
They don't have any, they don't leave any
room for doubt.
Imagine if somebody, you know, you're married, and
someone says, do you love your wife?
And you're like, yeah, kind of.
That's not, أشد في الحب That's not strong
love.
You know, if you were engaged to somebody,
planning your wedding, and they said, how do
you feel about them?
Do you really love them?
And you're like, I don't know actually.
Any good friend would look and be like,
you need to reconsider.
Do you see a potential that you love
them?
That's a stretch.
If there's room for doubt, the love is
not strong.
So when it comes to your love for
Allah, أشد حبا لله And then Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala, He says, and you will
see, He says, ولو يرى الذين ظلموا إذ
يرون العذاب أن القوة لله جميعا He says
that, if only those who oppress themselves, those
disbelievers could see, as they will see, when
the torment comes, that all power belongs to
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala وَأَنَّ اللَّهَ شَدِيدُ
الْعَذَابِ And Allah ta'ala is the one
who punishes severely.
This is one of the verses in which
Dr. Mustafa Abu Suayy, he will elaborate on,
and he says that this is an evidence
that the love for Allah ta'ala is
a part of faith.
He says, I'm going to read now from
him inshallah, and then we'll share some notes
and we'll do some Q&A.
He says, Love entails following the one that
one loves as an expression of that love
itself.
If I love the Prophet ﷺ, then I
certainly must express my love through following his
example.
And what is good to me is what
he did.
What is good to me is what he
did.
And he says, Divine love translates into loving
the Prophet ﷺ.
A person's love of Allah requires that they
love whoever God loves which is the Messenger
of Allah ﷺ.
This means loving the religion.
Now, let's pause here.
Nobody in this room is perfect.
And oftentimes we create this dichotomy of if
I love something, then it must mean that
I, like I'm the perfect practitioner of that
thing.
But that's actually not the case.
The case is you can actually love something
without being very good at it.
Right?
Like America with pickleball right now.
Like you can love it and not be
good at it.
Okay?
And actually, one would argue that loving something
despite failing at it is actually one of
the higher stages of love.
Because it's easy to love something when you're
good.
You know, it's easy to love fasting when
you don't struggle with your hunger.
But how many of you struggle with fasting?
Anybody courageous enough to admit it?
Yeah.
I've only met a few people that are
like, Oh!
Because you know Ramadan, everyone's excited and they're
like, Oh boy!
They got the caffeine pills.
They got everything loaded.
And subhanAllah, so a person might feel like
the person who struggles with fasting, with hunger,
they might meet somebody who's like, You know
when I fast, I just feel closer to
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
And that person in response is thinking, I
feel closer to punching you.
You know, because this is so difficult.
There are some people that talk about how
easy it is to give charity.
And there are those that struggle like, to
give it's like, You know?
And when they see the person, they say,
When I give, I just feel close to
Allah.
The person's like, They feel heartbroken.
I'm a failure.
The person's like, You know, I was once
with a friend who was like, Just starting
to pray.
Just starting to pray.
And my group of friends is a little
bit eclectic, right?
So I had another guy who just finished
graduating from the University of Medina.
He became a Shaykh.
And he's like, I gotta go guys.
I have tahajjud in the morning.
And my one buddy who's like, just praying
Isha every day is like, What's that?
You know?
And subhanAllah, when you see somebody where something
else comes easy to them, it can make
you feel like, What's...
Why?
Why am I even trying?
But as one of my teachers taught me,
which I thought was an amazing lesson, he
said, When you do something despite it being
difficult, it is one of the greatest forms
of love.
Right?
When you do something despite it being something
you don't want to do, it's one of
the greatest forms of love that you can
articulate.
There was a person one time that was
eating watermelon and crying, you know, a few
hundred years ago.
And people came to him and he said,
Why are you crying?
And he said, I hate watermelon.
And he's eating it.
And the person said to him, the people
said, Stop eating watermelon.
And he said, I can't.
They said, Why?
He goes, Because I read a hadith, كان
رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يأكل البطيخ
The Prophet, peace be upon him, used to
eat watermelon.
And he goes, I couldn't sleep at night
knowing that I hated something that the Prophet,
peace be upon him, used to do.
And so he's like, I'm going to force
myself to eat watermelon until I like this
stuff.
Because I don't want to be a person
that says, I don't like what the Prophet,
peace be upon him, liked.
Right?
Now, that's not the prescription for everybody.
But it's a demonstration on the mindset that
a person can have.
Just because it doesn't come to you naturally
doesn't mean that it's pointless or worthless.
Okay?
So he says, loving the religion.
This means, don't awkwardly avoid the things you're
not good at.
Don't avoid the thing, don't give in to
the idea that you are defined by your
failure.
You know what that means?
We say it all the time.
Oh, I'm just an impatient person.
No, you're not.
No, you're not.
Oh, I just get angry quickly.
No.
Don't give in to the temptation.
That's an easy, that's too easy to lose
that way.
Oh, I'm just this way.
No.
Fight against that.
Fight against it.
Some scholars when they write in the books
of Tuskegee, there's the disease of the heart,
anger.
You know what they say?
Don't get angry.
It's like, thanks for the guidelines.
You know, like the recipe.
It's like the banana bread recipe.
Bake banana bread.
That's step one.
That's not much of a recipe.
But sometimes it's that simple.
Don't get angry.
What does that mean?
It means fight against yourself.
Tooth and nail.
Whatever you have to do to keep yourself
together, do that thing.
Right?
Don't just give in.
Because that's not very loving.
That's not very loving.
Love is when you go beyond.
Love is when you push beyond what you
want to do.
Into discomfort.
So that you can at least show your
effort, your trying, that you wanted to demonstrate.
So you love the religion.
He says loving prayer.
Loving prayer.
A person who loves to meet Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala.
This is a specific narration.
And I know, prayer is, I mean, and
by the way, especially in these months, where
the water is cold, some of the scholars
refer to these months as the month of
the believers because of a couple things.
Fajr is later.
Maghrib is earlier.
You can fast.
I know all the sisters are already looking
at their makeups, right?
This is like that time of year where
they're like, oh boy, right?
But also, one of the reasons the scholars
mention is because cold water gives more reward
for wudu.
Because it's cold.
So when you do wudu with cold water,
you could wait for however long it takes
you, you know, to get your water warm
in your house.
Or you could just say bismillah and you
could, you know, cold plunging is in right
now by the way.
There's people that pay a lot of money
to do cold, you know, therapy.
So you could just do it with wudu.
And subhanallah, the scholars say that this is
something that gives you more reward because why?
Because it's more difficult.
But you're still doing it.
Okay?
So prayer.
Now, the prophet, peace be upon him, he
said very beautifully.
He said that, you know, Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala loves those who love to meet
him.
It's a principle, right?
Think about even your relationships.
Like we all love those people that are
excited to meet us.
When you see someone they're smiling at you,
you smile back.
So, Aisha radiallahu anha, she was confused a
little bit because she said, Ya Rasulallah, none
of us like death.
You know, we don't want to die.
We know that that's when we're going to
meet Allah but none of us like death.
And some of the commentary on this hadith,
the scholars say that if a person likes
to meet Allah in this life, they will
like to meet him when their life is
ending.
And how can you like to meet Allah
in this life?
Five times a day.
If you can get yourself, this is not
describing anything else in your life.
But when the time for prayer comes, what
is your emotional response?
Is it one of love or is it
one of irritation?
If I love to meet Allah, those five
times a day, the scholars say, when the
angel of death shows up, you will have
one of those miraculous stories, those moments where
it will not be resistance.
It will be acceptance.
I finally get to meet Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala.
Just like I've been practicing to meet him
every day, five times a day, now is
my chance.
And then he says, and loving the creation
of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
You know, one of the greatest miracles of
the Prophet is that he loved everybody.
He loved everybody.
I mean, think about that.
For those of you, and the 30 and
up is an interesting crowd because you're starting
to discover that you're a hater.
You know?
When you're young, you think you have it,
you have the aspiration to have a lot
of friends.
When you get old, you don't want friends.
You just want to be left alone.
You're a hater.
That's it.
It's okay.
Right?
I'm always so astounded.
You know the miracles of the Prophet salallahu
alayhi wa sallam?
There's all these miracles that Prophets have.
We were watching this earth documentary yesterday and
there's an animal that can walk on water,
this lizard that can run on water.
And then my son, Islamic school kid, goes,
oh, that's like Prophet Isa.
And I said, yeah, he did walk on
water according to some of the narrations.
And then my daughter goes, what?
How?
And I said, it's a miracle.
And she goes, what's that?
I go, oh boy.
Here we go.
How do I explain to a five-year
-old what a miracle is?
This is when Allah suspends physics.
She's like, okay.
Can I have a cookie?
Kind of like how Baba suspends the rules
and you can have a cookie.
Allah suspends the rules and things happen.
So we look at the miracles of the
Prophets.
We look at Musa alayhi salam, you know,
his miracles.
We look at Isa, you know, Sayyidina Nuh.
We look at Prophet Muhammad alayhi salatu wasalam.
The moon split.
All these miracles, right?
But one of the greatest miracles of the
Prophet Muhammad alayhi salatu wasalam is that his
heart was big enough for everybody.
It's so interesting, you know, as a 40
-year-old, 50-year-old, 60-year-old
individual to be so empathetic, so caring, so
merciful, so understanding.
I mean, think about that.
Think about how irritable we associate people of
that age group with.
That they're irritable, they don't want to deal
with people, they're impatient, they've lived a long
life.
And now imagine all of the stories that
you're reading about the Prophet Muhammad alayhi salatu
wasalam, all of those stories where there's like
a Bedouin man who comes and urinates in
the masjid, or there's a person who comes
and grabs him by his shirt, or there's
a person who does this or does that.
All of those amazing stories where there's always
a happy ending, there's always an amazing ending.
It's happening in his 50s, not when he's
20 or 30.
We associate that compassion with young age, right?
This young person, ah, don't be so hard,
don't be so tough.
This is an older gentleman, this is an
elderly man in his 50s and early 60s
who in these moments is saying, what?
It's okay, it's not a problem, it's not
a problem.
So part of that love for Allah is
that you love those who call themselves believers.
You love the Ummah of the Prophet salallahu
alayhi wasalam.
It's so easy to hate on people, man.
It's so easy to hate on people.
One of the things that when we go
for Umrah, we always tell like people in
the group especially, we'll say when you see
people here, don't see them as, ah, you're
not in competition with them and they're not
your enemies, but you're all part of the
same family because you're going to get pushed
around.
Have you guys been for Umrah before anybody?
And you get destroyed, right?
Like offensive line, defensive line, and then there's
you.
Okay, and the offensive line is a group
of Indonesian women, none of which are taller
than 5'2".
And the defensive line is a group of
Turkish men, right?
And you're just in between, you know, رَبَّنَا
آثِنَا فِي الدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةً Like you're just doing
whatever you can to stay upright and to
make sure you're just going in the same
direction, subhanAllah.
And it's very much a part of our
DNA and it's a part of our response
to become upset, frustrated, irritated.
But you imagine that these people, you're there
for Umrah and you're thinking to yourself, like
alhamdulillah, I was able to fly here, you
know, it was a long flight.
And you're staying in like one of these
hotels that's a little bit close and has
decent, you know, accommodations and nice food.
And you're talking about being frustrated with people
that maybe have been saving up for 10
years.
And they didn't come here only on a
plane.
They had to take buses, trains, a plane.
They had to take another bus.
They're staying in a hotel that's a mile
and a half away.
They come for Fajr and they stay all
the way until Dhuhr.
And then they go back and they come
for Maghrib and they stay till Isha.
Like, and all of a sudden now, you
experience this crazy thing called what?
Called empathy.
And in that empathy, you find the ability
to love people.
And you say, subhanAllah.
And instead of you cutting in front of
them and rushing, you say what?
Bismillah.
Bismillah.
You don't speak the same language.
You have nothing in common besides what?
Besides you're here to worship Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala.
You can find that experience here.
You can find that experience waiting for food
at Iftar and Ramadan.
When people are waiting because they're hungry and
there's someone else waiting and you're both eyeing
each other and there's only one samosa and
it's two of you.
And instead of you trying to lightly move
forward or instead of them trying to like
gesture or move forward, you instead prefer what?
وَيُؤْثِرُونَ عَلَىٰ نفُسِهِمْ وَلَوْ كَانَ بِيَمْ خَصَالٍ You
choose the other person.
You have it.
You have it, right?
That's love for the sake of Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala.
And Imam Ghazali says in another book that
when you do this, when you're able to
do this, Allah will place in your life
things and moments and barakah and provision that
you could not have obtained any other way
except by these gestures of love for your
brother or your sister.
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala give us
this.
He says love then has a value of
salvation.
The Prophet peace be upon him, he told
the Bedouin who loves Allah and his Messenger
that he would enter paradise with those he
loved.
There's a very famous narration that's one of
my favorite where a companion came to the
Prophet peace be upon him and he says
that I have not performed many prayers and
I have not done much fasting because he's
standing amongst the people that are the A
-team, the companions of the Prophet peace be
upon him like Omar and Abu Bakr and
others.
And so he says to the Prophet of
Allah he says that Ya Rasulullah, he says
I don't have much in terms of fasting
or praying.
Don't look at me for that.
He says, rather I love Allah and his
Messenger.
And the Prophet peace be upon him, he
said that you will be with those who
you love.
Right?
So love of Allah and his Messenger has
enough to cover all of our gaps.
All of our gaps.
But here's the paradox.
And this is where we'll end.
The paradox is that you can't love Allah
if you do not at least put forth
an effort to try.
Because the language of love is effort.
The language of love is effort.
This is in any relationship.
If you want to show someone that you
care but you're not going to try, then
perhaps you really don't care.
And you keep telling yourself you care but
you don't actually care.
And if we were advising a friend who
is in a relationship like that, we would
say, hey, you know, you need to get
out of this.
Because this person keeps telling you they care
but they don't care.
Right?
We would tell them, hey, protect yourself.
This is not good.
But imagine now, translate how many of us
treat Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala that way
where we promise, we say we care but
we show very little effort.
Right?
So what can we do?
What can we do to show more effort
towards Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala?
For every person, the answer will be different.
But everybody in this room has something.
What can we do to show Allah that
we care?
What little effort can we do?
What more can we give?
What can we hold back on?
What can we give to Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala?
And in that love, we will find ourselves
hopefully in good company.
And we'll find ourselves in the shade of
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala on the Day
of Judgment.
Let's go ahead inshaAllah and do some Q
&A before we break for Isha prayer inshaAllah.
One of the questions has very much to
do with love.
Is it allowed to consume products that include
vanilla extract?
Since it has an amount of alcohol.
I actually don't know the exact science behind
that.
Allah knows best.
I would ask someone in the food science
realm.
Allah knows best.
Is vanilla...
Vanilla is not a...
It's not a grain, right?
What's it categorized as?
Huh?
It's a flour?
I mean what kind of...
A grain is also...
It's not a berry, is it?
It doesn't qualify as a berry?
It's a bean?
Okay.
So the hanafis are okay then.
Hanafis you can just...
Hanafis you can't have...
You can use it in cooking.
Not cooking.
You can use the amount that is not
intoxicating nor used intended to intoxicate as long
as it's not berry based.
So like fish and chips if they use...
Anyways, I'm not going to open up that.
But hanafis are okay with that.
In Islam we preach to be givers and
to give to others but now I'm feeling
used.
How can I still be a good Muslim
to my brothers or sisters without feeling being
used?
Okay.
This is a good question.
So absolutely we are taught to be people
that are givers.
However, we're not taught to...
We're taught to also have reasonable boundaries.
Okay?
You're not taught to give to the point
of depletion of your own health and wellness.
That's never something...
Even the Prophet peace be upon him that
you know that hadith there's a very famous
hadith where Abu Bakr he comes with all
of his wealth to donate to the Prophet
of Allah.
And the Prophet peace be upon him doesn't
say good job.
What does he say?
What have you left for your family?
Because the default is what?
You should never ever do something in religion
that causes you depletion.
Abu Bakr was different so his answer of
course was different.
But we hear from that question even from
the Prophet peace be upon him that what?
You should never ever do based on your
faith that which will deplete you.
Okay?
Because part of your job is maintaining your
sustenance, maintaining yourself, maintaining your existence.
Okay?
And so if a person gives but they
feel like they're being used what I would
recommend is number one it's important to bounce
this experience off of other people and to
see if you are in fact being used.
Okay?
Because sometimes we can feel a certain way
and it might be our own estimation which
is not completely accurate.
Okay?
Because there could be another explanation for why
we feel this way.
It's possible.
So if you want to genuinely see okay
am I, you know is this a bad
relationship?
Go to somebody else that you trust share
with them objectively and say what do you
think?
Is this a situation where it looks like
I'm being used or abused etc.
And they might tell you yeah and they
might say it could be or it could
be that this person is just very busy
or it could be this and this and
this.
So you want to make sure you get
a third opinion.
Anytime you make like a distinctive decision in
your life you never want to do it
by yourself.
Right?
The Quran says فَشَاوِرْهُمْ فِي الْأَمْرِ Always seek
some level of shura and especially people who
are a little bit older than you.
If you can.
If you have those people in your life
go to people that are slightly more experienced
older than you because that age that experience
will speak volumes when it comes to interpreting
life.
Okay?
So I would do that.
I would go and I would seek out
the shura.
If they do tell you that yes you
know this seems like a very much one
-sided relationship.
It doesn't look like you're being reciprocated then
you can feel free to of course draw
back and pull back.
You don't have to make a statement about
it.
You don't have to block them on Instagram
and what not.
Or you could if you like spicy stuff.
You know a little bit of masala before
Ramadan.
But you don't have to do that.
But you can just pull yourself back inshallah.
Just for the sake of preserving your wellness
and your being inshallah.
Okay?
How can I know if Allah loves me?
It's a very very powerful question but a
very simple answer.
Do you love Allah?
You know Allah is so generous that He
loves imperfect people like us.
He doesn't expect perfection.
All Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala asks for
and expects is effort.
And my love of Allah Subhanahu wa ta
'ala is the indication that He loves me.
Right?
That's it.
If I try.
If I try.
Okay?
And it's not always easy to try.
Just because you try doesn't mean that it
should be easy.
Sometimes it's very difficult It's very very difficult
with certain things but Allah ta'ala He
knows that.
Okay?
I was born into a Shia household.
I'm trying to understand both schools of thought
and decide for myself.
Any guidance on how?
You know I would just I would go
to the text I would go to the
Quran the life of the Prophet peace be
upon him I would for a moment I
would suspend this idea of a label.
And I would just say you know what?
I'm going to go to the historical sources.
And I'm going to read through under the
guidance of a teacher, a scholar that I
think makes sense.
And I'm going to go through that and
I'm going to construct my faith in that
way.
Alright?
You don't want to the problem with ascribing
to a label and then kind of like
trying to figure out is that you kind
of might fall into the confirmation bias kind
of thing where you're like okay I'm this
so this makes more sense.
So I would just ignore whatever people identify
themselves as.
And we submit to him and go to
a place of learning that you vibe with
and begin your journey of education there.
Regardless of labels just forget about all that
for now.
Even same thing by the way for madhhab
for all of that.
Forget about all that.
By the way nobody in Islamic history was
like it's not like Hogwarts where you're sorted
into like Hanafis Shafi'i that's not how
it ever was.
You didn't pick a madhhab like that.
You picked a teacher that you connected with
and you took the school of thought of
that teacher.
Okay.
You know proof of that is that there
were some people that were born into households
where they were should have been one school
of thought but they didn't get along with
the teacher.
One of the great scholars of the Hanafi
madhhab his name was Imam Tahawi he's Egyptian
and his uncle who was a great scholar
of the Shafi'i school one time was
frustrated with his nephew and told him you're
so dumb you're never going to learn.
And as a way of proving his uncle
wrong he said I'm switching schools.
And he went to the Hanafi school because
he found a teacher that he liked and
he became like the most amazing legal scholar
of a generation.
And all of his uncle's friends were like
what did you do?
You basically lost this brain.
You know he could have been an incredible
so the label thing just kind of suspended
for a bit and just study inshallah in
a way that's refined.
Okay?
We'll do one more inshallah.
I was born Muslim but didn't learn it
deeply and fell into many major sins.
I repent every day but I'm worried that
I am forever tainted.
What do I do?
Well, I want you to read the story
of Omar ibn Khattab.
I want you to read the story of
these companions.
The companions like Khalid ibn Walid and Amr
ibn Aas and these guys who did way
worse than you could have ever done.
Like very objectively.
No offense to them.
They did way worse.
I mean Khalid ibn Walid.
I want you to think about this.
The battle of Uhud which was one of
the hardest days in the life of the
Prophet peace be upon him was because of
him.
And we were just there during Umrah you
visit Medina this mountain the mountain of Uhud
and you're sitting there and as you're telling
the story or as you're looking at the
story you're like and then the Prophet peace
be upon him he was attacked by the
army of Khalid and you're like what?
How is that possible?
And then Hind paid Wahshi to kill Hamza
and you're like why are all these people
who Allah is pleased with killing each other?
And it's because Subhanallah Allah's guidance cleanses everything.
It clears everything.
In fact that story of Amr is you
know a lot of the Sahaba accepting Islam
their stories are amazing the story of Amr
and Khalid because they kind of converted at
the same time is so underrated.
It's at the end of the life of
the Prophet peace be upon him very close
to the end of his life.
And Amr Subhanallah he only goes to convert
after being kicked out basically he leaves Mecca
and he's like there's no place for me
here.
He tries to when he's in Abyssinia kill
as many Muslims as he can because he's
like if I'm going down I'm taking all
of them down with me.
And then the Najashi or the leader of
the Abyssinia when he finds out that Amr
has these bad intentions he literally strikes him
punches him in the face and he says
you need to go to Medina and you
need to become Muslim and Amr is like
that was the first time I realized I
should become Muslim.
So he goes to Medina and he travels
there and on the way he meets Khalid
ibn Walid.
He's like what are you doing?
He's like I'm going to become Muslim.
He's like me too.
And they go and they meet the Prophet
peace be upon him and Amr he puts
his hand in the hand of the Prophet
peace be upon him and he's about to
give him his pledge he's about to take
the Shahada and he suddenly pulls his hand
away Amr does.
And the Prophet peace be upon him says
what's this?
And he kind of smiles he says what's
going on?
And Amr he says Ya Rasulallah is it
true that everything that I've done because think
about it he's looking at the man that
he was trying to kill for two decades.
He says like do you really forgive me?
Does Allah really forgive me?
And this is where the Prophet peace be
upon him says to Amr Ya Amr it
will be like the day you were born.
You will have nothing.
التائب من الذنب كمن لا ذنب له Whoever
repents from the sin Allah Ta'ala will
erase it there will be no sin for
them.
It's as if they never did it in
the first place.
So this is Subhanallah this is the way
that we understand forgiveness.
There's no such thing as being tainted.
There's no such thing.
Right?
Coming back to Allah shows again a level
of love that is a proof that you
are anything but tainted.
We ask Allah Ta'ala to accept.
We ask Allah Ta'ala to make us
those that constantly have love for Him and
that our love for Him is not challenged
by our love for other things We ask
Allah Ta'ala to make our love for
Him sincere and to make our love for
Him greater than our love for anything else
that tests it.
We ask Allah Ta'ala that we love
Him and that He love us in return.
We ask Allah Ta'ala that the love
that we have for Him guides all of
our decisions our statements our actions and that
it puts us in a position and in
a place of being in His blessings and
that not deprived from His blessings but the
recipients of His blessings.
Ameen.
Ameen.
And we ask Allah Ta'ala to send
His peace and blessings upon the Prophet Muhammad
Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Subhanak Allahumma bihamdik nashadu an
la ilaha illa anta nastaqfiru wa atubu ilayk
JazakAllah khair and everybody BarakAllahu feekum You can
probably hear the Adhan is going so Isha
prayer in just a few minutes here in
the Masala You can walk down the hall
inshallah and we'll see you there Again, everyone
please, please be safe Drip your faucets Open
your cabinets Do whatever you have to do
inshallah And we'll see everybody next week after
the blizzard Salaam Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatuh
Wa Alaikum Salam Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatuh