AbdelRahman Murphy – Heartwork Reflecting On Reality – Lessons From Surah Qaf #03
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The transcript is not a summary, it is a series of numbers and characters, and no summary can be provided. The Prophet's job is to explore obligations, revolPE Speaker, and potential questions with regards to their heating, fasting, and praying. forgiveness is emphasized, and addressing past mistakes with others is key to addressing one's own mental health and spiritual health. forgiveness is best for everyone.
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Okay, Assalamu alaikum.
Assalamu alaikum.
Okay.
Bismillah.
Bismillah.
Bismillah walhamdulillah wassalatu wassalamu ala rasulillah wa ala
alihi wa as'habihi ajma'een.
Welcome home, everybody.
It's good to see you.
Alhamdulillah.
Welcome back.
Welcome back.
Alhamdulillah.
Hopefully everyone here is warm, warm enough.
Look, no matter how cold it gets here,
it's always colder in the rest of the
country.
So, if your friends are like, you said
Dallas was gonna be nice.
Well, it's like negative six right now in
Chicago.
So, may Allah ta'ala, you know, for
those who don't have shelter, may Allah ta
'ala give them warmth and shelter, Ya Rabb.
You know, there's so much to talk about
since, since last week that's, that's been happening.
Inshallah, hopefully we'll find ways to work it
into tonight's lesson.
But I wanted to make some, some progress
in the actual reading of the surah, inshallah,
itself, because we do have a lot to
cover tonight.
So, we'll go ahead and just get started.
We left off last week.
Surah Qaf is a surah that is, has
so many different focuses, right, with regards to
building the iman of a person.
And right now, we're in the first phase,
or the first focus, so to speak.
And that focus has to do with really
two points.
The first is that the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu
Alaihi Wasallam is a messenger.
Okay, and this is like, I understand that
for, for those of us who are in
the room, who are familiar with, like, Islam
and, you know, the, the, the Shahadatayn and
the Kalima, we understand that this is like
a given.
But remember that this is something that the
Qur'an introduced.
This is when the Qur'an was sort
of building up and constructing for the faith
of people who were reading it.
So, the challenge that we talked about last
week, the challenge that the, the Quraysh had,
is twofold.
Number one is that they had an issue
with the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam being a
prophet.
And number two is they had an issue
with what he was bringing to them.
And they do something very, very interesting, and
even though it's easy for us to sit
here and point our fingers and say, oh,
you know, they had this problem, the point
that we left off with last week before
we concluded was that this is something that
everybody is susceptible to.
Everybody is vulnerable to this.
Doesn't matter if you are a Muslim or
not a Muslim.
This kind of logic can permeate, and we'll
talk about what it is.
So, Allah Ta'ala swears by the Qur
'an.
The Qur'an is being revealed.
The messaging is being revealed.
They challenge, and they say, the disbelievers are
amazed, بَالْعَجِبُ أَنْ جَاءَهُمْ مُنظِرٌ مِّنْهُمْ that there
has been a warner, a prophet that has
come from amongst them.
So, Allah Ta'ala responds in different places
in the Qur'an, and He says that
this challenge, this pushback against the fact that
there is a warner, a messenger that has
come from amongst you, is not something that
would change even if Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta
'ala sent angels to the people directly.
Allah said in another verse that we could
have sent angels to you directly, we could
have resurrected the dead in front of you
directly, and every one of them, the angels
and the resurrected, could have told you to
your face that all of it is true,
everything is true, and you still would have
found some way somehow to disbelieve.
So, really the challenge is not about whether
or not this makes sense or is convincing.
The challenge is whether or not these people
are willing to listen and willing to silence
their own nafs in order to listen to
the message that they're receiving.
And then, they add on to that challenge,
they say, that they say that this is
a very strange thing.
You know, in logic there is a contention
that can be made against an argument.
One of the ways that people try to
discredit you is they try to say that
this is absurd, or this doesn't make sense,
or they try to attack, not the argument
itself, but they try to attack you as
a person.
And this is known as an ad hominem.
The Quraish were very, very good at this.
Instead of addressing the substance of the argument,
they would try to address the fact that
this argument was even happening from this person
in the first place.
They wouldn't ever go one-to-one.
There's a story actually from the seerah in
which we have an example of this argument
taking place real-time.
And that is the story of Umar.
Umar, of course, we know his story ends
positively, but there's a lot of interesting artifacts
from his life pre-Islam.
There's a lot of amazing kind of points
of his narrative before he became Muslim.
One of them was that Umar, a lot
of people think that Umar just woke up
one day, and he decided, and then he
went and became Muslim.
But Umar actually was very intelligent.
He gets a lot of credit for being
strong, but he was incredibly intelligent.
And one of the things that he used
to do was he was an observer.
Anyone here a watcher?
Are you a watcher?
You know what I'm talking about?
You like sit there, and you just kind
of observe people.
You're at the airport, you got a coffee
shop, and you're just observing.
So Umar was a big observer, and he
was watching, and he was kind of keeping
a tab on how this Islam or how
the Muslims were developing.
And so he used to watch kind of
like from afar, but then of course, as
anyone does, when he became more curious, he
decided that he had to get like a
closer look.
And the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him,
was known during the early days in Mecca
to actually go and sit in front of
the Kaaba and recite Quran to himself.
This was one of the things that he
would do.
He would sit, he would recite, he would
pray, and because again he was from a
noble lineage, because he was respected, and because
the Muslims were not yet being attacked fully,
he was relatively left alone.
Like it was something known about him, but
nobody would go and bother him for it,
okay?
So Umar, one day he went, and he
decided that he was going to kind of
sneak around the periphery of the Kaaba and
try to listen to see what all of
this noise was about.
Like what is this revelation?
By the way, he was not the only
person.
There's another story that's gonna blow your mind,
and we'll talk about that after this.
Umar, he came, and Umar was genuinely, like
genuinely, he was he was confused, and he
was genuinely, you know, rejecting based off of
what he thought that it wasn't true.
He didn't, he wasn't fighting himself.
That's why when he came to hear its
message, he was like, oh it's definitely the
truth.
But in the early stages, he genuinely said,
no, I don't believe it's the truth.
So he came, and he heard, and the
Prophet, peace be upon him, happened to be
reciting from a surah, number 69, Surah Al
-Haqqah, Surah Al-Haqqah, and in that surah,
Allah Ta'ala actually describes the authenticity of
the Prophet, peace be upon him.
He actually talks about how we know he's
a messenger, and how we know the Qur
'an is the Qur'an.
So Umar is telling this story, and Umar
is saying that back when I was there,
I went to go listen to the Prophet,
peace be upon him, and I used to
think that he was absolutely wrong.
So I heard this Qur'an recitation.
Now here's the problem, right, is that the
Qur'an recitation is beautiful.
It's beautiful.
Even if a person does not know any
Arabic, they've never heard it before, there's no
doubt that it's captivating.
When a person recites Qur'an beautifully, you
can't help but be curious, like what is
that?
The melody, the flow, the rhyme, the power,
all of that is captivating.
It doesn't matter if a person knows or
not.
So Umar, he's listening to this, and because
again, he understands it, he's not only attracted
to the melody and the rhythm, he's attracted
to the meaning.
And he's finding himself being drawn in.
And so he kind of like snaps out
of it, as he's listening.
He's like, no, no, no.
And he says to himself, he kind of
like shakes it off, and he goes, man,
this guy is a good poet.
Like this guy is so good with his
words.
He says that internally, because he's hiding.
One of the narration says he's in between
the Kaaba and the cloth of the Kaaba.
So you guys know the black cloth?
Underneath there's brick.
He was kind of in between the two,
like literally he was hiding.
So he says, man, this guy Muhammad, what
an incredible poet.
He's so good with his words.
He's able to make these beautiful sentences together,
and it's just so captivating.
And at that moment, in that moment exactly,
in this surah, there is a verse in
which Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala says, وَمَا
هُوَ بِقَوْلِ شَاعِرِ And this is not the
speech of a poet.
So as his mind is contesting what this
verse is saying, and as he is trying
to, he's trying to figure out, how can
I come up with a reason as to
why this is so beautiful?
And his first reason is, this guy's just
very good with his words.
He's a poet.
Allah responds in real time.
وَمَا هُوَ بِقَوْلِ شَاعِرِ This is not the
words of a poet.
فَلِلَمَّا تُؤْمِنُونَ But how little do they believe.
So then of course you can imagine, Omar
is even more shocked.
He's rattled.
How did this man just respond to my
claim against him when I didn't even say
anything?
And he goes, he has to be a
magician.
Like that's magic.
This guy is a sorcerer, right?
This guy is an actual magician.
The next verse, Allah says, وَلَا بِقَوْلِ كَاهِنِ
And this is not the speech of a
person who is a soothsayer, right?
A person who is a fortune-teller.
He's not magical.
And then Allah says, قَلِلَمَّا تَذَكَّرُونَ But how
little do they reflect.
تَنْزِيلٌ مِّن رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ But rather this is
a revelation that came down from the Lord
of all of the worlds.
So Omar, he used to have these moments
in his life where he engaged with the
Quran.
Now after this like we know, okay, he
snapped out of it.
He had like this, you know, I don't
want to say come to Jesus, come to
Allah moment, right?
He had this like intervention.
But he snapped out of it.
He went back to his old ways until,
you know, eventually he came to accept and
realize.
But subhanAllah, from these moments, he would say,
I was always very intrigued by the message
of the Quran itself.
So there were people like that, that would,
they would ask and they would seek, but
they would resist because they weren't quite there
yet.
So the Quran has that argument going against
it.
Now these people, what Surah Qaf is talking
about, are the people that would challenge the
Quran not based off of the messaging itself,
but based off of what the demands were.
What is the Quran asking of me?
So they said after this, اَإِذَا مِتْنَا وَكُنَّا
تُرَابًا ذَٰلِكَ رَجِعٌ بَعِيدٌ Is it, is it
the case really the Quran is saying that
when we die and when our bodies become
dust, then we'll come back?
They said that is such a far-fetched
conclusion, that has no bearing in reality.
Now here's some interesting points, okay.
Number one, these people that are challenging the
Quran and using these arguments, they are challenging
Allah with what we would call like a
scientific argument.
How do we know that?
Because they're bringing up things that are like
the life cycle, اَإِذَا مِتْنَا when we die
وَكُنَّا تُرَابًا and become dust.
So it's clear that these guys know that
when you die and bury somebody, their body
starts to disintegrate, right?
And we know this.
Sorry if you didn't know that, but anyways.
So we know this is part of the
life cycle of a human being.
After they pass away, their body starts to
disintegrate, right?
Into the earth.
And so they're bringing this up, but in
a really interesting way, when they come to
the end of the verse, they say ذَٰلِكَ
رَجِعٌ بَعِيدٌ That is such a far-fetched
conclusion.
But it's interesting because when you look at
the world, especially today, when you see that
people talk about what comes after death, when
you go into these like deep philosophy conversations,
the black hole on YouTube, right?
You start going down this black hole of
people that all have podcast microphones.
And they want to talk about what happens
after death.
If the argument is favorable to the human
desire, to the nafs, nobody really contests it.
Like if I was like, look, after you
die, you're gonna be just like sitting in
a beautiful mansion and just relaxing and you
have no responsibilities.
That's what happens after you die.
Most people would be like, yeah, I have
no problem with that, right?
That's okay.
Or if I said, for example, after you
die, like you're gonna be reincarnated into something,
like you're gonna be reincarnated into like a
king or a queen and you get to
live comfortably and whatever.
People would say, yeah, I hope that's true.
But the Quran didn't come to tell you
that you're gonna die and then after you
die, things become easy.
The Quran said, look, after you pass away,
there's going to be a point where you
have to answer for your deeds.
And the life that you live today, you're
gonna have to go through a process where
you have to weigh those deeds, you have
to explain those deeds, you have to relive
in some ways, you have to watch what
you did.
And if you lived your life in a
way that was noble, that was virtuous, there
is a reward.
But if you didn't, if you didn't repent
for the mistakes that you made, then there
is a punishment.
Because the Quran talks about a message of
accountability, that's all of a sudden now, when
the human being gets agitated.
I'll give you proof of this.
Okay?
Not every question of the Quran is a
bad question.
Do you want to know who also questioned
the resurrection, the afterlife?
Do you want to know who also said,
really, really, we're going to come back to
life after we died?
His name is Prophet Ibrahim.
If you look at Surah Al-Baqarah, at
the end of Surah Al-Baqarah, Ibrahim actually
asked Allah, how is it that you bring
the dead back to life?
How is it?
That's kind of what Quraish are asking here.
They're like, wait a minute, you're saying that
after we die, we're gonna be brought back?
But what's the difference in the tone of
the question?
In fact, Allah further continues in that story
and Ibrahim, he says, do you not believe?
And Ibrahim says, no, no, no, of course
I believe, ya Allah.
But I just want to know for the
sake of my heart.
It's something difficult.
It's inexplicable.
It's beyond human reason.
Like, I can't understand.
When somebody dies, how do they come back?
And the answer, of course, is yeah, of
course you don't get it because it's never
happened before.
It's not normal, right?
Unless you're watching a zombie movie.
We've never seen this before.
So Ibrahim is asking the same question as
Quraish, but what's the difference?
The intention, the tone, the assumption.
When Ibrahim is asking, he's genuinely curious.
But when the Quraish are asking, they're trying
to what?
They're using it as a way to try
to poke holes.
You can hear the sarcasm.
Whereas Ibrahim says, like, how is it possible?
I'm just curious.
So subhanAllah, they challenge Allah with that scientific
challenge, but remember that actually they're not looking
for a scientific answer.
Because if Allah did give a scientific answer,
as he said in the other verse, it
wouldn't please them.
What they want to do is they want
to be let off the hook.
They want to be let off the hook.
Okay, now how does it affect us?
None of us are here challenging this in
the same way, but I will say that
there is a lesson here.
Prophet Ibrahim's question is what we call a
good question.
You know how they say there's no such
thing as a bad question?
That's false.
There are plenty of bad questions, right?
Prophet Ibrahim's question is a great question.
What makes a question a good question?
Well, number one is that it's sincere, right?
If a person asks a question sincerely, that's
good.
Number two, the person is asking and in
their sincerity, they're doing it because they actually
want to improve.
They want to get better.
They want to have some kind of benefit.
Number three, the person is asking a question
that there's no possible way for them to
find the answer on on their own, like
they haven't been told the answer already.
Okay, that's a good question.
Anytime someone comes up to and ask a
question and they have those three things, it's
a great question.
What's a bad question?
Number one, it's insincere.
Have you guys ever been asked a question,
but that person is actually not asking that
question, right?
Hey, do you want to go out to
eat?
Where are you guys going?
That person's not asking actually where you're going.
The person is trying to create a narrative
and an argument to what?
To not go.
Hey, can you help me move this weekend?
Ah, what time?
They don't care what time.
They're just trying to buy time so that
they can say, ah, yeah, I have something
at that time.
Oh, I can do later.
Ah, my whole day is packed actually, right?
So the insincerity shows itself.
It completely manifests itself.
So these people are not saying really?
After we die, we come back?
They're saying really, right?
The tone is different.
After we die, we come back.
So number one is insincere.
Number two is that they're avoiding the actual
purpose of the question itself.
Allah Ta'ala is bringing up this day
of life, this day of resurrection, this day
in the afterlife.
Allah Ta'ala is bringing it up to
show what?
To discuss what?
Not whether or not it's scientifically possible.
That's not the core of the question.
Allah is not saying in order for you
to be Muslim, you have to believe that
I can do that.
That is part of our belief.
But the actual first layer of Iman here
is what?
Believe in the day of judgment.
That's what will change you.
That's what will change you.
There's a lot of people that believe in
an afterlife, but they haven't gotten it right.
There's people that believe in reincarnation, which we
don't believe in.
There's people that believe that no matter what,
they're gonna be going to Jannah.
No matter what.
We don't believe in that either, right?
Sounds good.
Sounds too good to be true.
Probably is, right?
We believe that the afterlife is a way
for us to gauge how we live this
life.
And when we have that moment, that process,
that Hisaab, that accountability, Allah tells us that
there's one place and another place depending on
how you live.
May Allah give us Jannah.
So the second of a bad question is
that it's not actually trying to figure out
the answer.
And the third is that the person basically
isn't interested really even in hearing what you
have to say at the end of it.
Allah Ta'ala has the ultimate flex after
this.
So they say in the third verse, are
we really gonna come back to life after
we became dust?
That is so far-fetched.
Allah Ta'ala says, Allah says, we know
what the earth took from you.
Like we know.
If you're trying to get scientific, Allah Ta
'ala is like, I created science.
So we know.
Like you don't have to try to flex
and try to bring complex challenges.
Oh really?
How is it possible?
Allah says, we know what the earth has
taken from you.
We know that.
But that's not going to be the way
that you're gonna get out of this conversation.
You see, if you want to do that,
you're gonna end up shorthanded.
Because you haven't actually had any understanding into
the afterlife.
Once your life ends, you don't know.
You're as equally ignorant as who you claim
the believers to be.
But then Allah Ta'ala says, But you
want to know what is preserved?
And this is the flex, subhanAllah.
The body has lost, but you know what
will never be lost?
Your book.
The book is gonna be preserved perfectly.
So while a person may be buried and
their bones or their flesh or whatever is
going to return back to the earth and
how that does and how that happens, the
reality is the record of your deeds will
never be diminished.
And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala does this
numerous times in the Quran.
He will demonstrate that your body is not
like your soul.
Your body dies.
Your soul doesn't die.
Your body will diminish.
Your soul doesn't diminish.
Your body is the thing that will stop
here.
Your soul keeps going.
And that's why when we as believers have
this challenge in life about doing good versus
bad, oftentimes it's just a prioritization.
Body or soul.
Which one am I choosing?
Which one am I gonna prioritize?
When I feel like I'm having trouble making
the right choices, it's because I've chosen the
body over the soul.
Right?
And that's why fasting Ramadan, may Allah give
us Ramadan, is such an amazing experience.
Because you actually for 30 days are choosing
the soul every single day.
Even if you can't fast for medical reasons
or whatnot, you still are choosing the soul
because in the month of Ramadan, you're giving
your charity.
You want to keep that money.
Who doesn't?
But you know that charity is better in
Ramadan, so you give it.
You come here to pray.
You come to the masjid to pray.
You want to sleep.
Everyone does.
But you come to the masjid to pray.
If I told everybody tonight, let's go meet
at the masjid at 10 p.m. and
pray for two hours, you're like, you are
crazy.
It's 30 degrees outside, so this feels like
16.
I'm going home.
But if it were Ramadan, we would all
be excited for that opportunity.
Why?
Because we are in the month of choosing
the soul over the body.
Now the idea is that the Muslim, the
believer, is one who is accustomed to making
that choice, not just in one month, but
every day.
We constantly do that.
When you wake up for Fajr, you've chosen
your soul over your body.
When you ask someone to forgive you, even
though you don't think you're wrong, you've chosen
your soul over your body, right?
You've chosen your afterlife over this life.
You said, you know what, my ego is
not worth it.
I'd rather not have this tension between us.
When you forgive somebody that wronged you, you've
chosen your soul.
Allah Ta'ala here is saying to these
people questioning, the real challenge is that you
don't prioritize the soul as much as you
should.
Then Allah Ta'ala continues, okay?
So we'll summarize that last bit by saying,
when you find yourself questioning your faith, first
filter by asking yourself this question.
Is this a genuine question like Prophet Ibrahim?
Is this genuine?
Is this a real question?
You know, people will come up and say,
do I really have to pray?
And I already know that the answer is
yes, we know, but they're trying to look
for some kind of loophole, right?
Do I really have to do this?
That's not the same as, can you teach
me about what Islam says about prayer, right?
Really, what is it?
May Allah Ta'ala give us sincerity.
Because you know what's interesting?
When a person sincerely doesn't know something, the
Hadith of the Prophet, peace be upon him,
says, that's one of the things that Allah
has raised from your book from accountability.
Meaning, he won't ask you about it.
If you genuinely don't know, proof of this
is what?
In Ramadan, if a person forgets that they're
fasting and they drink something or eat something,
what is the ruling?
You go to *, exactly.
No, I'm joking, right?
I'm just trying to wake everybody up.
What's the ruling?
The ruling, the Prophet, peace be upon him,
says, continue to fast because Allah has fed
you and given you drink.
Why?
Because it wasn't intentional, it was forgetful.
There's another Hadith where the Prophet, peace be
upon him, says, Allah has forgiven my Ummah
for Nisyan, for forgetfulness.
Like, they don't, they're not held to account
for it.
If you genuinely forgot something, genuinely, you guys
ever had a really busy day, especially in
these winter months, and at the end of
the day you're like, I didn't pray Asr,
or I didn't pray Dhuhr.
Like, you just forgot for whatever reason.
Maybe you were like, had a really, a
crisis, or you were busy or something.
It happens.
In those moments, it's very different than when
a person's like, oh, I think I might
have forgotten Dhuhr again, you know?
Because that one shows no sincerity.
So, the first question when you have a
question of religion, of faith, number one, filter
it by saying, look, am I sincere or
not?
Is this a real question or not?
Or, is it a question of resistance?
Am I trying to grow or am I
trying to push it back?
The questions of resistance, they feel a lot
more unsolvable and unanswerable than anything.
No answer will ever be good enough.
Nothing will ever convince the person.
Really, is it?
But now, in this day and age, I'm
so busy, I'm so tired.
Okay, it looks like we've already had the
answer, right?
Confirmation bias.
We've already gotten there.
There's no point in wasting time here.
Until the heart is humble and sincere, let's
not waste hot air, okay?
May Allah Ta'ala make us sincere.
Is it a question of genuineness or resistance,
okay?
Now, Allah answers them in their own terms,
and He brings that, and He says to
them that, although you will have a failure
in your, is everything okay?
Alhamdulillah.
Okay, Batul, you got it?
Okay.
Although you will have a failure in your
bodily preservation, one thing that will never fail
is the preservation of your book.
That will always be there, right?
And subhanAllah, I don't know if you guys
have seen recently these, what do they call
them, the people who want to live forever,
biohackers?
Have you seen this guy?
It's got to be a stunt, and he's
just like trying to live forever.
There's videos of him talking about it, and
I'm sitting here, I haven't seen anything else
besides like short clips.
There was one day where I didn't see
anything because TikTok was banned, but then when
it came back, I started seeing it again.
But subhanAllah.
You know, obviously from the lens of like
science, it's like, oh, that's interesting, but from
the theological lens, it's like, what are you
running from?
What are you running from?
Right?
Well, I mean, one of the things that's
been universally true forever, for as long as
humans have existed, is death.
Why are you running from it?
And the way this world is going, like,
I don't know, I don't know if I
want to live forever.
You know, like, I kind of, I'm ready
to coast off in the sunset when Allah
Ta'ala determines it to be by time.
The point being is that these things are
veiled in the language of science, but they're
deeper than that.
Oh, I really want to scientifically see if
I can live forever, but is it really
like a scientific thing, or is it more
of like a, I'm scared of spiritual thing?
Because it sounds like I'm scared of spiritual.
May Allah Ta'ala give us comfort.
Okay, so then he says that.
You'll always be preserved in your book.
Number five, ayah number five, and Allah Ta
'ala here, God Almighty, gives the actual reason.
فَالْكَذَّبُ بِالْحَقِّ لَمَّا جَاءَهُمْ فَهُمْ فِي أَمْرٍ مَرِيجٍۢ
Allah Ta'ala says, the disbelievers, the challenge
that they have, okay, and understand something first.
Before we talk about disbelievers and this term,
it's not a pejorative, it's not a condescending
term, it's simply a state, and how do
we know that?
Because as soon as a person who doesn't
believe says, I believe, then Allah Ta'ala
says, الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا, those who believe.
Umar wanted to kill the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu
Alaihi Wasallam, he accepts Islam, and he becomes
Al-Farooq, like there's no waiting period, there's
no process of proving your loyalty or sincerity.
No, as soon as a person says, I
believe in Allah and His Messenger, there's no
more titling of disbeliever.
In fact, calling someone who believed a disbeliever
is a major sin.
There was a story in the Sira of
a companion by the name of Ikrimah, and
Ikrimah, his father is famous unfortunately for the
wrong reasons, his father was Abu Jahl.
So Ikrimah, you may have heard I said
رضي الله عنه, he's a companion, he accepted
Islam and his father was one of the,
you want to talk about disbelievers, he was
one of the biggest enemies of the Prophet
Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam.
So during the opening of Mecca, when the
believers were allowed to then go back to
Mecca, and they were able to restore living
conditions peacefully there, and they were opened it
to the Muslims, so Umrah and Hajj became
accessible, etc.
Ikrimah was coming back to accept Islam.
This was actually the story of his acceptance
of Islam.
And the Prophet peace be upon him, he
prepares his companions, there's some Sahaba around him,
and he tells them, listen to what he
says, so smart, so beautiful in his mind,
he says don't mention his father, don't mention
his father.
Like imagine this guy is showing up, and
Abu Jahl was not just like a casual
op, he was like the leader of all
of the pain of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi
Wasallam's life.
Like you want to talk about all of
the pain, you want to talk about things
like Uhud, and things like he's cursing the
Prophet, he's killing his friends and family, he's
torturing the believers.
You want to talk about somebody that if
we were allowed to, right, the whole phrase
dance on their grave, it would have been
this guy, right?
Maybe a few more, but Abu Jahl is
like the one.
And his son is coming back now, and
the Prophet peace be upon him could have
even said like, yeah, I wonder how your
dad feels today.
Actually just a few days prior, SubhanAllah, not
days, but a few, you know, a different,
a prior time, when Ikrimah saw Bilal calling
the Adhan on top of the Kaaba, he
said my father would be turning in his
grave right now.
So if you want to know like how
bad it was, but when he comes to
become a Muslim, what happens?
Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam says, everything's forgotten.
Everything's forgotten.
We don't talk about your dad.
Because why?
The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said, the words
of the living don't reach the dead, they
only reach the living.
So you're cursing this dead man, and it's
not getting to him, it's not affecting him,
it's only affecting his son.
And his son now has to live with
that weight, that his father was Abu Jahl.
So what I'm trying to say here is
that when a person is a disbeliever, it's
a title, a label of their state of
heart.
Believer, disbeliever, etc.
These are things only known by Allah.
But when a person who comes to believe,
accepts Islam, there is no residual baggage that
they have.
So Allah Ta'ala, He addresses them, but
realize that the door for mercy is always
open.
Those people, they reject the truth.
When?
When it comes to them.
No matter what state they find themselves in,
if they engage with the truth, they reject
it.
I don't know if you guys have ever
argued with somebody that's unable to accept that
they're wrong.
There's a few people nodding their heads.
There are many who are not.
If you're not, you might be that person
that is unable to accept that you're wrong.
Have you guys ever argued with somebody that
just simply will not back down?
And they will just keep going over and
over.
It doesn't matter.
There's no losing and there's definitely no agree
to disagree because that's a loss.
They just want the dub.
They want to win, right?
That person, the issue with them, when you
argue with that person, is not that they
have a different opinion than you.
It's that they've already pre-determined that there's
no way they can be wrong.
Like I'm entering the argument already pre-determined.
There's no way I could be wrong.
It doesn't matter what you present, what evidence,
it doesn't matter how well you articulate your
argument, I'm always going to be right.
Okay, now I know someone on the internet
is going to clip that.
I'm going to make a meme out of
it.
Okay, so the Quraysh and these people rejecting
Islam they rejected it constantly no matter when
it came to them.
Prophet ﷺ could have come to them.
Look at Omar.
The Qur'an is actually responding to his
thoughts.
This is a poet.
The Qur'an says this is not a
poet.
Huh?
What kind of magic is that?
This is not magic.
The Qur'an is responding.
If that's any person with a heart that
in that state is open, they're just like
okay, I'm Muslim now.
There's no way that that could happen.
There's no coincidence there.
Okay, but subhanAllah when you pre-determine that
this is wrong, there's no chance you're going
to interpret anything as being other than a
coincidence or a mistake or this or that.
So these Quraysh are saying the same thing
and Allah Ta'ala then calls them out
for it.
He says that because you reject everything, because
you don't give anything a chance, because you
don't listen sincerely, what happens?
He says فَهُمْ فِي أَمْرٍ مَرِيجٍ These people
are always in a state of confusion constantly.
There is a big life lesson for everybody
here, myself included.
Okay, all of us have a really really
important, we have to rethink something when it
comes to our relation with Allah.
All of us want to have clarity, yes
or no.
We want to know what we're doing, we
want to know if we're on the right
path, we want to know if we're doing
the right things.
That's clarity, right?
We want to know that.
We don't want to be in a state
of confusion.
Nobody likes being confused.
When you're confused, like when you're driving and
you don't know where you're going, if you're
on Google Maps and your phone dies, that
causes panic, right?
When you don't know what you're gonna order
at the restaurant and the waiter is coming,
you're panicking, right?
When situations are critical and you are confused,
that brings a lot of anxiety.
So confusion is not a good state to
be in, ever.
We want to know clearly, even if, for
example, it's not favorable, but just knowing gives
us some comfort.
How much time is left in this trip?
Man, three hours.
But at least I know.
Versus being in a state of confusion, not
good.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says, if you
want to be in a state of clarity
and you don't want to be in a
state of confusion, you have to accept the
truth when it comes.
Sounds easy, right?
It's not.
Because the truth challenges what we want.
That's why we ask, we make du'a
to Allah.
Allahumma arina alhaqqa haqqa, warzuqna tiba'a.
Oh Allah, allow me to see the truth
as truth.
And allow me the gift of being able
to follow it.
Because there's levels to this, right?
Sometimes I see something and it's the truth,
but I don't see it as the truth.
Why?
Because in my nafs, in my heart of
hearts, I really, really love the opposite of
that.
I don't want to see it as the
truth, because by admitting that, I'm going to
feel guilty now.
And then there are some things where I
do see it as the truth, I accept
it, but I have trouble following it and
that's another level.
Although it's better than rejecting it, it's another
level.
So one of the gifts that the Qur
'an gives us, the Qur'an says, look,
if you want to live your life in
a state of clarity, you have to promise
Allah you'll do one thing.
And that is, whenever the truth comes to
you from Allah or his messenger, before you
have time to try to negotiate it and
try to have that internal barter that you're
trying to negotiate, like you're buying a car,
just accept it.
Just accept it.
That's much more of a safe place to
be.
And then subhanAllah, as a gift, as a
reward, as the fruit from that, you get
this tranquility, this peace, this clarity.
But if you're a person that every time
truth comes to you, you push back, you
reject, you reject, you know what ends up
happening at the end of the day or
the end of the week or the end
of the month or your year, you're sitting
in a state of confusion.
You're saying, what is happening to me?
What is happening to me?
Well, what's happening is every single indication that
will lead you to the straight path, we're
pushing it away.
And if I push it away, I'm going
to find myself off the straight path very
quickly.
So Allah says, as a result of that
rejection of the truth, they find themselves confused.
Now, this is, again, the Qur'anic narrative,
the Qur'anic power.
What was the science or the methodology?
I just gave it away.
What was the methodology that they were using
before to try to disprove the Qur'an?
They were using science.
They were saying, how is it the case
that we're going to be buried, our bones
are going to break away, our flesh is
going to disintegrate, we're going to be nothing,
right?
If you open up the grave of somebody
who's passed away, you'll see that their body
has disintegrated.
All that's left is their, the core of
their bones.
But everything else, the tendons, the tissue, everything
is gone.
So they're using science to try to disprove
that this is even possible, right?
Allah Ta'ala in the Qur'an now,
after kind of pushing them a little bit,
he turns to science.
He says, oh, you want to use science
to talk about the existence of God and
religion?
Sure.
He says, while you're alive, don't, let's ignore
the whole death thing for now.
While you're alive, have you ever not looked
up at the sky?
Did you not just like raise your head
and look and say, how was that built?
Like how is it there?
Did you have any part of it?
No.
Did I?
No.
How is it there?
And why is it so beautiful?
This is one thing Texas has.
We don't have hills.
Okay.
We don't have, you know, we have crazy
long, big highways that intersect each other.
We don't have much when it comes to
nature.
But man, the sun rises and sunsets.
SubhanAllah.
Like there's a reason they call this place
God's country.
Because you're just sitting and you look at
the sunrise and sunset and you're like, I
need to pray Maghrib.
You know, like no one can miss Maghrib
in this, in this city.
There is a giant visual Adhan every single
day on the horizon.
There's no hills to block it.
Right.
Trust me.
You can see Houston from here.
Okay.
Allah says, have you not seen how we
have beautified it and we have adorned it
and there's no rifts in it.
You know, like I was building a Lego
set with my son earlier today.
And I say Lego generically because it's not
made by Lego.
It was made by another company.
Good company.
MashaAllah.
May Allah give them Tawfiq.
They're a Muslim Lego company, but y'all
know what that is.
We're struggling.
We need round two inshallah.
We need, we need to give them some
more.
We need to reach out some venture capitalists
inshallah.
Why?
Because the pieces don't fit like Lego pieces.
You know, my son is like, Baba, it's
not fitting.
I'm like, that is, that is the spot.
That is exactly what this thing says.
You know, what's bad when you have to
bring out the rubber hammer to get the
pieces to fit.
Okay.
It's okay.
It's all the machine cutting.
It's okay.
Alhamdulillah.
Okay.
For the sake of Allah.
But we need definitely to, okay.
We need to make a little bit, but
the point being, subhanAllah, is that what, as
you're building something, you can tell something is
manmade.
Why?
Because it's not perfect.
That's one of the distinctive features of something
being human being made.
Like when you look around this room, you're
like, oh, this looks nice.
And then you get a little closer.
You're like, oh, there's some cracks over there.
And like that plant might be dying.
Right?
Like we water them a lot.
It's a cold shock by the way.
Oh, there's some issues here.
Oh, there's some paint on the floor.
One of the distinctive features of something being
human made or human affiliated is what?
The blemishes.
The blemishes.
I mean, look, have you guys seen the
video of that AI Will Smith eating spaghetti?
Have you seen that?
Okay.
This is like a deep cut.
I'm sorry.
But now that you're going to go Google
it, just type in AI videos of Will
Smith eating spaghetti.
That's like, that's the best we got.
Why?
It just showed up in my feed.
Just forgive me.
Okay.
It's better than the other garbage.
Okay.
I have like lawn care tips and I
have AI like progress.
Okay.
But if you've seen something, have you guys
seen those AI pictures where they're like, this
is false.
This person has seven fingers and you look
at their hand and it's like, keeps going.
That's, that's what, that's us.
That's what we got.
That's what we got.
One of my teachers, SubhanAllah, he says something
really beautiful.
He said the entire photography industry, the thousands
of dollars, right?
The bodies, the cameras, the lenses, everything.
He said, it's just trying its best to
copy the human eye.
So that's it.
Every artist that paints, every photographer that takes
a picture, every cinematographer that shoots, they're just
trying to emulate Allah's work.
Isn't that incredible?
And we're like nowhere close.
So Allah takes the nature of their disagreement,
which is what, or the proposed nature, which
is scientific.
We all know that it's more than that,
but the proposed nature and he completely deconstructs
it and says, instead of using this language
to disagree, why don't you use it to
agree?
Look at the sky above you.
Do you not see how beautiful this is?
And in fact, any of the issues of
defect, and I'm using this with big air
quotes for those of you listening to the
podcast, okay?
Defect in the earth is the result of
what?
Our abuse of the earth, our negligence of
the earth.
My daughter was having a really deep moment
the other day.
She said some crazy stuff, man.
We were driving and we were on one
of those big bridges, I think it was
35, and where you look out and you
see all these trees and all this nature,
but then you see all these empty warehouses
becoming pickleball courts.
And she said, what did the earth look
like before buildings, Baba?
And I thought to myself, like, wow, that's
a deep thought.
She was, what did it look like before
buildings?
She was, you know, there's before building, did
it all look like those trees?
And I'm thinking in my head, like, SubhanAllah,
what did it look like before the roads
and the buildings?
What was the state of this place?
How beautiful was it before all of this?
You know, Jannah is described not like Dubai,
and they had buildings back then.
One of the hadith says what?
These people are going to build high buildings.
So Allah could have described Jannah with these,
like, incredible descriptions, like, you're going to have
chocolate and inside is going to be the
Kunafa filling with pistachio, like, that could have
been in the Quran, right?
Or you're going to have very tall buildings,
and you're going to have this, and if
you look at the island from a helicopter,
it looks like a palm tree, like, that
could have been the description in Jannah.
What are the descriptions of Jannah, right?
They are gardens with rivers flowing underneath them.
Why?
Because no matter what time, what place, who
you are, that is the stuff that brings
you a sense of completeness, of fullness, of
tranquility, right?
And so Allah says, have you never thought
of that?
And the earth, how we spread it out,
and we placed solid mountains on it, and
we caused every kind of beautiful plant to
grow from it.
So Allah Ta'ala is making a very
powerful point here, and in the end he
concludes with ayah number eight.
He says, if a person's heart is sealed,
if they have sealed their own heart, they're
going to take all these incredible signs of
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, and they're going
to use them foolishly against Allah, right?
They're going to use them against Allah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala.
But if a person's heart is calibrated, not
even by belief, but by a what?
A dispensation to believe.
If a person's heart is calibrated by a
preset, like I want to believe, or I
have a humility of belief, then Allah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala says what?
This is a lesson and a reminder for
every servant who turns back to Allah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala.
This is what makes the Quran so powerful.
We read eight verses, and Allah Ta'ala
somehow, some way, took our everyday landscape and
made it a point of reflection.
You could be driving home, and as you're
walking into your apartment or your home, you
notice that there's a tree, or for many
of you who are trying to grow plants
and haven't killed them yet, those of us
I should say, you just look at it,
and you say this is one of the
signs of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
Tomorrow as you get up and go to
work or get up and go about your
day, you look at the sky and you
say this is from Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta
'ala.
Tonight as you're going, you know these cold
winter nights, one of the things that they
do have is they give you a, I
don't know if there's science behind this, but
they give you like a deeper perception of
the stars, right?
You're able to see these things, and part
of the reason why, subhanallah, pre-modern people
were more inclined to believe is because they
had more uninterrupted access to nature.
Like part of the reason why they were
more inclined to understand that this stuff is
created, and they believed in the creator, because
they were constantly in the creation.
And part of the reason why we find
it difficult or more challenging is because our,
the highest extent of our natural exposure is
a documentary on a television.
Like in order for us to learn about
the world, we watch it on electronic.
Isn't that crazy?
We're like loading up some British accent guy,
David Attenborough, right?
And he's like, look at this beautiful tree,
and you're like, wow, click, you know, like
scroll, food, you know, sleep.
That's the extent of our relationship with the
creation.
But then when you get up and go
out and you explore, and you force yourself
to make it an exercise of reflection, all
of a sudden, now what?
It brings you closer to your deepest thoughts
about Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, and how
you are just one blip in this timeline
of creation that Allah ta'ala has created,
right?
We ask Allah ta'ala to give us
tawfiq, to come to know him better.
We ask Allah ta'ala to make the
natural world and everything in it and around
it a proof for us, for him.
We ask Allah ta'ala to make our
hearts always inclined towards faith.
And we ask Allah ta'ala to, whenever
we have questions, that they are sincere, and
they are good questions, like the question of
Ibrahim alayhi salam.
And they are not questions of resistance, but
they are questions of coming nearer to him,
subhanahu wa ta'ala.
So we are, yeah, we have some questions
now.
We'll go for about five minutes with Q
&A.
All right, here we go.
Number one, I find it hard, this is
actually, so props to you, this is a
good way to phrase, I didn't realize tonight,
but by going over questions, I'd be like,
ask your question, your like, the questions that
you struggle with.
This is a good way to phrase a
question though.
I find it hard to understand.
Good, very good.
One way to say this, that you might
feel is equal, but it's not equal, is
it doesn't make sense.
You understand?
One of them is a good question.
The other one is a question of resistance.
I find it hard to understand.
Who's the onus on?
Me.
Yeah, I find it hard to understand.
You know, even classically, when you're studying with
masha'ik, with teachers, you're not supposed to
say, you said.
You know what you're supposed to say?
It was said.
Like, it was said.
In the class, the teacher could say something
like, you know, ABC.
They could say anything.
Instead of saying, Shaykh, you said, you say,
Shaykh, it was said.
Right?
Why?
Because in Arabic, when you remove the second
or first person conversation, you're making it what?
Less antagonistic.
In Arabic, it's called majhool.
Like, we're removing the person from the equation,
because we don't want that person to feel
attacked.
The real problem is that I don't get
it.
You're not the problem.
I'm the problem.
I want to figure out why I don't
get it.
So good, good job, by the way.
So let's go to the question.
All right.
What am I just skipped it now?
I find it hard to understand the wisdom
behind the permissibility of a man being allowed
to marry more than one wife in Islam,
especially in today's time.
Okay, so let me break this down for
you.
Islamic law is a vast, vast intellectual network
of evidences and case studies and rulings that
are all associated together and built off of
one another.
Okay?
There are a litany, I mean, there are,
when I say tens or hundreds of thousands
even, of pages, millions, potentially billions of words
that make up this corpus of Islamic law.
I would not be understating how much dialogue
and writing and conversation there is in Islamic
law.
Okay?
Why?
The job of fiqh is to explore obligations,
prohibitions, permissibilities, preferences, and dislikes within the spiritual
rankings for any question and any conversation.
You understand?
Can I say it one more time?
The job of Islamic law is to explore
all conceivable potential questions with regards to their
permissibility in Islam.
Do you understand?
So there are a variety of conversations that
are incredibly applicable to every single person on
earth.
The question of how do I pray?
How do I fast?
What do I do when I'm sick?
How do I give zakat?
Who do I give zakat to?
These are all questions that probably apply to
100% of Muslims, right?
But there are a codex of questions that
do not apply to everyone.
They apply to those that they apply to.
Okay?
So the question about polygyny in Islam, it's
mentioned in the Quran, but the way in
which it's mentioned it gives the understanding of,
number one, permissibility, not recommendation.
So this is an important point.
The Quran is not obligating anybody to marry
two or three or four wives.
The Quran is saying that it is permissible.
Also, secondarily, the nature of this issue before
Islam was that men, and this is by
the way cross-cultural, cross-universal, that men
would oftentimes take more wives.
And so this was actually seen as a
limiting state.
Okay?
Nonetheless, it's a sunnah of the Prophet, peace
be upon him.
Okay?
But the Prophet, peace be upon him, never
stood up and said, all men do this.
The reality is that's the choice and that
is the dispensation given to whoever wants to.
But it's not like something that a person
gets more credit for.
In fact, the Quran even says in that
passage that if you're not able to treat
fairly between them, then you can't do it.
So it's clear that this is not just
like a blanket thing that, oh, if you're
a guy, today's your lucky day, right?
No.
The Quran is saying that there are certain
people, certain places, certain times, and I'm not
limiting them by the way, it could be
now, it could be then, it could be
anytime, in which this is an applicable ruling.
And in that case, there has to be
framework.
There has to be an understanding of what
is permissible, what is not.
And there has to be guidance into how
to execute it well.
And who should not execute it, which is
what the Quran talks about it.
This becomes usually like a lightning rod issue.
You know what a lightning rod is?
It's like the metal stick that they put
on top of things that they want lightning
to strike.
So instead of like lightning striking things that
are like people living, walking, home stuff, they
put it on the middle of like things
that are all benign.
So that lightning is attracted to it and
strikes it.
So this is a lightning rod issue.
But the reality is that this issue truly
does not affect, does not affect 99.9
% of people.
It does not.
Okay.
So it's one of those things in which
the rulings are there, they are presented, they
are preserved, they are understood.
But again, it's not something that is up
in casual conversation.
Now, if you are in the marriage process,
if you are in the marriage process, and
this is like a point of contention between,
then what I would say is that to
the brother, marry one before you talk about
marrying more.
Okay.
And I would say that this is a
very, very short sighted, borderline immature conversation to
have.
I would also say that what Allah Ta
'ala makes permissible, a person cannot make impermissible.
However, there are scholars that have said that
this can be a condition in a contract
that a person says that I don't want
to be a co-wife.
Okay.
This is also natural.
Sayyid Aisha radiallahu anha, the wife of the
Prophet was jealous.
Like we can't say that, oh, it's from
you have to accept.
No, there's also the human reality, right?
But what I would like to make clear
to everybody is that these questions tend to
be more from the position of what is
not even in the realm of possibility and
reality.
And yet it causes such turmoil.
It's very, very foolish and immature to make
this a point of contention, when in reality,
Habibi, it's not going to affect you.
Okay.
There's also so much, there's so much more
conversation on this, but we don't have time.
Please lower the temperature in here.
It's hot.
You just got anxious from the last question.
Okay.
God, you guys upvote the most funny questions.
Okay.
I'm not laughing.
Okay.
A lady in the masjid today, I'm just
sorry.
The image is too funny.
A lady in the masjid today said that
it's haram for women to wear pants because
she can't have space like that.
She can't have a space in between her
legs that is showing basically like the pant,
the gap between the pants.
Is there a legitimacy of that?
First of all, appreciate that I was laughing
at this random lady.
The way you framed it is like, this
is a random lady in the masjid.
She's like, no pants, no pants.
Like, okay.
Okay.
So look, let's talk about this.
Okay.
What does Sharia say about the dress code?
First of all, we need to appreciate that
they're obviously in fiqh.
There is an ideal, right?
Dress code where we all should be every
single person.
And then there is, so we'll talk about
the sunnah, right?
This is what the prophet and his wives,
et cetera, how they dress.
Then there is the bare minimum, which is
what is acceptable, but not necessarily always ideal.
And then there is that which is below
the bare minimum, but as human beings, there's
always going to be struggles there.
Okay.
So there's no doubt that when it comes
to men and women, of course, women as
well, that modesty is best.
There's no doubt whatsoever.
Okay.
But as you explore the concept of what
modesty looks like, what you'll notice, subhanAllah, is
that scholars don't give specifics.
They give generals.
So they talk about generalities.
They don't talk about specifics beyond, for example,
the awrah, which everybody should know the awrah
is the Arabic term for that, which must
be covered even in front of people of
the same gender.
Okay.
So for men, it's between the navel of
the knee for women is basically from the
knee all the way up to covering the
chest as well.
Okay.
The shoulders.
So once we get to that conversation about
what is best beyond that, how do we
reach that bare minimum?
We know that the hijab is something that
is mandatory, but what constitutes a hijab or
what constitutes the state of hijab?
It is effectively when a person is wearing
clothing that is not revealingly tight.
Okay.
That is not revealingly tight.
For example, a skirt that does, in fact,
not show the space, the gap between the
legs of somebody can be extremely tight.
Right.
And there could be pants.
What do they call them?
Palazos?
What do they call?
I get it or no?
Okay.
Half of you are nodding, half are laughing.
I don't get any credit.
There could be pants.
I'm married long time.
Okay.
So there could be pants that in their
structure effectively achieve what a modest skirt would
achieve.
So these types of like labels and terminologies,
where it's like you forbid one thing and
then you make permissible one thing universally, you
don't find this in fiqh actually.
Scholars don't talk like that.
Scholars don't say pants are haram, skirts are
halal.
Because why?
There could be skirts that are in fact
haram.
There could be pants that are in fact
halal.
So a wise scholar addresses what?
The ilah or the core issue that is
at hand and the core conversation, which is
what?
Modesty.
Modesty.
Okay.
So if the pair of pants that are
being worn would be deemed as immodest, then
that is problematic.
Right.
But if they are deemed as modest, then
that would be not a problem.
Now, who determines what is modest and what
is not modest?
This would be something that I would personally,
I would refer you to speak to a
female scholar, inshallah.
We have Ustada Fatima Allat, we have Ustada
Rabia Razaq, we have all these female scholars
here, inshallah.
You know, there's tons of them, alhamdulillah, now
compared to like 10 years ago, 20 years
ago.
They would understand the nature of what qualifies
as modesty and how that fits into today's
modern world better than I would.
Right.
Better than I would.
We have principles, but if you want specifics,
then I would go to a trained alimah,
a trained shaykhah, that you can have that
conversation with, inshallah.
Okay.
But a general principle that I can share
with you today is just be a person
that dresses modestly as best as you can,
inshallah.
Okay.
Wallahu ala.
Wow.
There's so much.
We only have like a minute left.
Okay.
Let me get rid of one or two
of these.
Okay.
When someone is discrediting or backbiting about you
with intentions to destroy your reputation, should one
call that person out or forgive and let
it go?
Okay.
So I'm going to give like the general
answer, the general answer, then I'm going to
give like a little bit of advice.
Okay.
The general answer is, look, whether or not
you forgive somebody, it's your choice.
There's no doubt that the Qur'an, the
hadith, the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wa sallam, they
encourage everybody to be forgiving.
There's no doubt that what is best is
to be a person of forgiveness.
That is 100% the case.
We learn that forgiving is best.
Okay.
However, we also don't forgive to the point
where it could be considered like neglect, you
know, some form of self-abuse, where you
continuously forgive and a person is continuously abusing.
That would not be, that would not be
pious or righteous.
Okay.
You do have a responsibility to maintain your
dignity, your right.
You have that, that boundary is afforded to
every single human being, right?
Islam teaches us that.
That being said, what I would advise everybody
to do is to ask yourself how it
got to this point and try to, like
a doctor would advise you, try to remove
the infection at the source, instead of trying
to address the symptoms of it.
If somebody is backbiting you constantly, figure out
like, why is this even happening?
Like what?
Like, I'm sorry.
I don't walk by people in the street
and like, they're like backbiting me constantly.
So if we're going to be honest about
this question, we're going to have to kind
of figure out like, what went wrong?
Were we friends before and then we had
a disagreement?
Did I say something first?
All right.
No, we don't like to say that one.
Was there some issue that I let fester
and I didn't take ownership?
What happened?
Okay.
If it's one of those one in a
million cases where it's genuinely, I don't even
know who this person is and they just
came at me, then maybe you can, you
know, you have the right and if you
have the courage to do it, you can
approach that person, ask them to stop.
Okay.
But if it's something where you're phrasing the
question, like there's somebody backbiting me, trying to
ruin my reputation.
What should I do?
But like, we're convenient.
I understand there's a character limit, but we're
conveniently leaving out like, we want to know
the lore.
Like all of us want to know the
backstory.
Like, how did it get to this point?
Right.
And if you want someone just to give
you an answer here, like forgive or don't
forgive, but you're not providing like all of
what brought us to this point, then the
answer is not going to fit.
You're just going to be tackling a symptom.
It's just like tissues for a runny nose.
Like, you know, you need to actually go
and get some stuff to handle that flu
or that cold.
Okay.
So, I mean, you can keep taking anti
-nausea medicine all you want, but until you
solve the problem, you're always going to be
nauseous.
So my recommendation to you would be, if
you think it's doable, forgive.
If not, then I would try to address
it with the person to get to a
point where you can forgive.
But the most important part of this is
be honest with yourself about how it got
to this point.
Because rarely, and I say this as a
person with like 15 years experience in this
role, rarely does this kind of stuff happen
out of nowhere.
Right.
Out of nowhere.
Misunderstandings?
Sure.
They happen.
Clarify them.
Wrongings?
Ask for forgiveness.
Apologize.
If you were wronged, maybe you have the
courage to let it go.
But just resolve it.
Just squash it.
It's not worth living with all that anxiety.
Right.
The Prophet ﷺ, he says, even in the
Qur'an, the passage that's about marital discord,
which is like the most intense, subhanAllah, of
fights and arguments.
May Allah Ta'ala protect us in our
relationships.
In the middle of that ayah, it says,
reconciliation is best.
If you can reconcile, it will always be
better for you.
Why?
Your mental health, your spiritual, everything will benefit
from reconciliation.
Okay.
We ask Allah Ta'ala to make it
easy, inshaAllah.
We ask Allah Ta'ala to give us
tawfiq.
And I ask Allah Ta'ala to give
us the right answers to our questions that
bring us closer to Him.
And that we follow the example of our
Prophet Muhammad ﷺ.
BarakAllahu feekum, everybody.
JazakAllah khair.
And you can hear the adhan.
Prayer is going to be starting in three
minutes, inshaAllah.
So please head over.
BarakAllahu feekum.
If you want to help after cleaning the
space and reset it up, we would appreciate
your help, bi-idhnillah.
If you want to take the chairs and
put them away on the way there, that'd
be helpful too.
If we could have the backjacks lined up
in the front, we'd really appreciate it.
Unfortunately, I don't have any time for questions
tonight.
I gotta run, inshaAllah, after isha right away.
So please, inshaAllah, give me your permission to
leave.
Wassalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.