AbdelRahman Murphy – Heartwork Guided Steps To The Path Of Allah #26
AI: Summary ©
The importance of improving one's own foundation and preparing oneself early is emphasized, along with the need for finding the best versions of oneself and finding the best versions for oneself. The roles of women in society are also discussed, including their roles as political and musical instruments. Leading women in these roles are advised on meetinging men through female friendships and navigating relationships with family members. The speakers provide advice on finding the right person and managing relationships with family members, and mention upcoming events and events happening in the future.
AI: Summary ©
Which are going to be our last two
sessions for this amazing text by Imam al
-Muhasibi on the journey on how to improve
oneself.
And he's finishing up now with a conclusion.
The end of his text he kind of
starts to give just kind of a litany
of advices toward the end of the book.
And some of them, you know, we went
through some of these and it seems to
be again very foundational.
And that's for a reason.
If you want to improve something that's, you
know, very lofty and very important you have
to make sure that the foundation is strong.
If the foundation is not strong then all
of the things that are up here will
be irrelevant.
And so he's mentioning things like making sure
that you take care of your sincerity, making
sure that you take care of your obligatory
charity, that you don't backbite, you don't lie,
guard the rights of your neighbor, the poor
and the relative, right?
So we've covered this last week.
We're going to continue inshallah.
And we talked a little bit about this
one which is, you know, training your children
and then also those who serve you with
gentleness.
And he puts these two together because there's
kind of a common theme between them.
How many of you in this room right
now, you have children?
Okay.
So the overwhelming majority of us do not.
The rest of you are signing up for
impairs.
No, I'm joking.
Where's Zacharias here?
So there he is.
Yeah, I got you.
I did not get paid yet.
So, just joking.
So we talked about this last week and
we'll kind of back up and continue.
And that is that everything that you want
to accomplish requires you to start earlier than
the actual time that you need to perform.
So if a person wants to do well
in something, they can't do well in something
at the advent of that thing.
They have to prepare themselves in the time
that's leading up to that.
So any team that has a game on
Saturday, they can't just show up on Saturday
and play and expect to win, right?
There was a coach that said that games
are won in the practices that happen throughout
the week, not only on the day of
the game itself.
So with regards to this, if a person
wants to be able to be a good
parent, a good father, a good mother, and
they want to be able to impart upon
their children, all of the things that, okay,
if we're going to be honest, all the
things that they aspire to give them, and
in some cases, all the things that maybe
they didn't get.
There's some things that maybe you felt you
didn't get, and it's not the fault of
anyone.
Everyone tries their best.
Every parent is trying their best, but no
one's perfect.
You have to start working on those things
much earlier than you think you do.
You have to start becoming a better version
of yourself much earlier than you would expect
to be, whether it's a parent, whether it's
a spouse or anything.
You have to basically work on becoming the
best version of yourself much earlier.
This is true for anything, by the way.
Ramadan, inshallah, is in less than three months.
May Allah give us Ramadan.
If you plan to start Ramadan on the
day before Ramadan, like that's when you're going
to get into the mode, it's not going
to be very easy for you.
And the scholars always recommend starting much earlier.
There's a reason why we have, for example,
the fasting that's done in Shaban, right, the
month which is before Ramadan.
There's a reason why we do that.
We do that because it prepares us.
Physically it prepares our bodies because fasting is
not easy, but also mentally, spiritually it gets
us ready.
Even before Shaban, in the month of Rajab,
there's the idea that a person should start
preparing themselves for Ramadan.
Because the 27th night, or potentially whatever night
in the last 10 nights, which could be
the night of Qadr, any of those odd
nights, you have to really make sure that
you are ready and prepared for that moment.
It's not easy to just show up on
the first night of Ramadan and somehow, someway,
in 20 days be prepared to be the
best Muslim that you could be.
So the earlier you get started, the better
it is.
So for those of us who have children,
you know, raised our hands, we're in this
right now, right?
Train your children and, you know, we're in
the process of that.
But for the majority of people here that
did not raise their hands, this is still
very much relevant to you.
It applies.
Instead of looking at somebody and seeing how
they parent and like judging them, right?
Being like, oh, I wouldn't do that.
Ask yourself, what do I think I have
in me that would make me respond differently?
Be honest.
We've all seen parenting that we've judged.
We've all been to the restaurant and seen
the parents, for example, hand the iPad.
And everyone's like, wow, I would never do
that.
Or the kid who's going crazy because they
want chicken nuggets and french fries.
They don't want, you know, to have what
was cooked.
I remember, subhanAllah, the statements that I made
and the statements that my wife made about
how good of parents we were going to
be.
And then along came our children.
And subhanAllah, they really test you.
They really test you in the sense that
not like in the way that we think,
oh, patience and that.
No, that's one side of it.
But they test who you really think you
are.
We always see good examples of parenting and
we see ourselves in those.
Oh, yeah, that's a good dad.
That's a good mom.
I'm going to be like that.
And we see bad examples and we say,
how could that person be like that?
And then Allah sends you a child that
is exactly like you to test you in
every single way.
My wife and my daughter, my wife is
35, almost 36.
My daughter is 5, almost 6.
But they are both the same age.
And I don't mean that my wife is
younger.
I mean that my daughter and my wife
are peers.
They'll literally be talking to each other like
they're equal in age.
My wife is like, eat your dinner.
My daughter is like, I'm not really feeling
it.
She doesn't say like, no, I don't want
it.
She's like, no, I'm not really in the
mood.
My wife is like, why not?
She's like, I don't know.
I think I'm just going to have yogurt.
It's not even like pouting.
It's just like very matter of fact, right?
And my son is just like me, right?
So when I look at them, you see
them.
So Imam al-Hasibi is in this saying,
train your children, he's really telling you to
learn how to train yourself.
Because if you can master how to train
yourself, then one day you'll be able to
see the same thing that you saw in
yourself, you can see in your child.
If you're a person that gets emotional, if
you're a person that rushes, if you're a
person that, you'll see it in yourself, and
you'll say, you know what, I know how
to deal with this because this is exactly
what I needed to hear.
And so I can be that person now.
Look at Sayyidina Ibrahim a.s. Sayyidina Ibrahim
a.s. was given a very difficult situation
with his father to the point where his
father, not only did he disbelieve and reject,
but he actually told his son like, I'll
kill you.
Like, get away, I'll kill you.
And Ibrahim more than anything just wanted to
have a good relationship with his father.
He wanted to be there to be able
to give his father the message of Islam
and then to have that be like their
bond.
You know, look at the story of, you
know, for example, not his father of course,
but look at the story of, for example,
Sayyidina Yaqub and Yusuf, right?
Look at that bond that they had.
So you see Ibrahim a.s. and his
father, they don't have that connection.
And subhanAllah, he had to bear with that.
It never got better.
It never, it wasn't a happy ending.
It was a very tragic story.
Until you look at the son that Allah
sent to Ibrahim a.s. So the father
that he was given was not good.
But then Allah sent him a son named
Ismail.
And Ismail was described in the Quran as
being a very, not just a good son,
بغلام حليم, like an incredibly forbearant, patient child.
And if there's one characteristic that every person
can use, but especially children, it's patience, forbearance,
being able to deal with things that you
don't want to be put in that situation.
So Ibrahim was given this gift in part
because he, from his childhood, from his teenage
years and beyond, he showed that he was
ready to receive something that was worthy, subhanAllah.
And Allah made the raising and the child
rearing of Ismail for Ibrahim like a gift
for him.
When Ibrahim had to sacrifice him, when he
was given the dream, إِنِّي أَرَىٰ فِي الْمَنَامِ
أَنِّي أَذْبَحُكَ فَانْظُرْ مَاذَا تَرَىٰ When he had
this dream about sacrificing his son, Ismail, Ismail's
response was what?
يَا أَبَتِي إِفْعَلْ مَا تُؤْمَرْ سَتَجِدُنِي إِنْشَاءَ اللَّهَ
مِنَ الصَّابِدِينَ Do what you've been commanded.
Like what an incredible response.
Allah gave him that relationship he had been
yearning for with his father, but now he
gave him the chance to be the father.
He gave him the chance to be the
one that could make his son feel warm
and welcome, even though he didn't have it.
So Imam al-Muhasabi is essentially telling us
that you have a responsibility to prepare yourself
to be the person, number one, that you
may have needed, but also to be the
person that somebody else will need.
And that's a very serious goal, right?
So for those of us who did not
raise our hands, which is the majority of
us, you're not off the hook.
Ask yourself, how can I tell my kids
to pray if I don't even pray?
How can I tell my kids to not
use bad language if I'm using bad language?
How?
I had a friend one time playing FIFA
and he let something slip, and his son
started repeating it like a parrot.
And he said, no, don't say that.
And my friend's son, in front of all
of us, said, no, Baba, you said it,
and anything Baba says, I can say.
All the dads know exactly the feeling of
your heart in your stomach.
But how can you expect to tell your
kids what you can't do or can do
yourself?
So you've got to work on yourself.
May Allah give us the ability to be
sincere.
Then he says, and treat those who serve
you with gentleness.
You know, the reason why he couples children
and then those who serve, right, is because
these are people that you technically have authority
over.
Like, as a parent, you have authority over
your child, and as a person who's receiving
service, you have authority over that person.
If you're paying for something, for example, and
they have to serve you, you have authority.
But just because you're paying somebody doesn't mean
that you can treat them poorly.
The Prophet ﷺ, he told Sayyidina Aisha radhiAllahu
anha in this really well-known narration about
this idea of rizq, gentleness.
And he said that anything that has gentleness,
it would be improved, it would be increased.
And anything that you remove gentleness from, it's
going to be destroyed.
In our era, we feel and we believe
and are taught that if we want something
done, we have to be tough.
Might is right.
Right, we can't be soft.
It's not talking about, by the way, taking
your haqq.
That's different.
Everyone is allowed what they're due.
But in the taking of one's haqq, you
can still have rizq.
You can still be gentle in getting what
you're due.
You can still be that way.
You don't have to become satanic in getting
your haqq.
You can still be prophetic.
So the Prophet ﷺ, he taught us that
gentleness will always win.
Will always win.
You know, in English we have a phrase,
kill them with kindness.
It's the same concept.
Like, you don't have to become the monster.
You can be like the monsters from Monsters,
Inc.
You know, that was a stretch, I know.
Forgive me, right?
It's been a long day.
You can be like that kind person.
And even if they don't respond immediately, right?
Let's say, for example, that if you were
rude or harsh or whatever, you may have
gotten it done quicker.
Let's say that if you just use some
bad language or whatever, like the person answers
right away.
But let's say if you're gentle, if you're
being firm but polite, etc.
It gets done but it takes two, three
times.
You might argue, it's more efficient.
It's like more productive.
I'm saving time.
Time is money.
Right?
Money is, you know, who knows.
And you just say, and you convince yourself
that I have to be this way because
this is this way.
But look at what you lost in the
process.
You lost your humanity.
You lost your propheticness.
Right?
Allah Ta'ala يحب الرفق.
He loves gentleness.
إِنَّ اللَّهَ رَفِيقٌ وَيْحِبُ الرِّفْقِ Allah Ta'ala
is gentle and He loves gentleness.
So in the process of losing gentleness, you've
actually become further away from Allah Ta'ala.
You may have gotten what you wanted quicker,
but you've lost your humanity.
You've lost your connection to Allah Ta'ala.
May Allah Ta'ala protect us.
So be someone who's gentle.
Don't be someone who's bullish.
And everybody, by the way, can be gentle
on the outside.
But be gentle not when you want to
be.
It's easy to be gentle in good situations.
No, please, you.
No, please, you.
At a buffet, it's easy because you're eventually
going to get there.
Everyone's going to get their food.
No, no, please, please, I insist.
But what about the situations where it's not
certain, not guaranteed that you're going to get
what you are looking for?
Can you still maintain your attitude and your
gentleness in those situations?
Be gentle when every fiber of your being
inside of you is saying, just smash this
fool.
Be gentle when that's the situation.
Right?
Learn how to handle yourself in those moments.
The Prophet, peace be upon him, he said,
true strength, true strength is not being able
to wrestle somebody to the ground.
True strength is being able to control yourself
in a time of anger.
That's the Prophet, peace be upon him.
That's not some philosopher that was weak.
By the way, do you know the Prophet,
peace be upon him, said this after winning
every wrestling match he ever took part in?
He would, peace be upon him, they said
he had the strength of like 30 men.
He'd be able to pin people down instantly.
The best of Arabian wrestlers would show up.
And these were like big dudes.
And they would show up and in two
seconds, he would just flip them and put
them on the ground.
It actually happened to me one time.
Mufti Kamani, this is actually a true story.
Mufti Kamani, I don't know if you guys
know this, but he's like a big jujitsu,
like, what do you call them?
Jujitsu-er?
Jujitsu, I don't know.
Ju-Jedi, I don't know, whatever.
So he's got powers, okay?
So one time, and I'm like, I play
like the more traditional athletics sports, like basketball
and things like that.
But he's really into martial arts, okay?
So one time, we're at a camp together.
And he tells me, he just looks at
me, he goes, you know, I can flip
you.
And I was like, this is the strangest
thing that you could say to somebody.
I was like, we're waiting for dinner, about
to go in, they're about to announce dinner.
And he's like, you know, Abdurrahman, I can
flip you.
And I was like, that's great, man.
And then there's all these, we're doing the
youth session, so there's all these teenagers around
us.
Like, do it, do it, you know?
One kid's like, pass the fatwa, Mufti.
And he's like, I got you.
And wallahi, in two seconds, he just grabs
me, and all I saw was sky, earth,
sky.
And I was on my back.
Wallahi al-Azim just happened in Tennessee.
And he did flip me over.
And didn't even like, didn't even like flinch,
just flipped me over.
And I'm like a large person.
I'm not like a small person.
You know what, have you guys ever seen
people do this to their children?
Like, yay, Baba, yay.
That's what he did to me.
So I 100% believe that this is
possible, but now imagine that there's like multiple
of these people, and the Prophet ﷺ is
just beating them, pinning them down, one by
one, one by one.
And then after displaying that, he says, you
know what, that's not real strength.
Real strength is if you're able to control
yourself when you're angry.
Subhanallah.
May Allah Ta'ala give us that.
To be gentle, and to be able to
be a person that no matter what the
situation has, even if we are being principled,
we can be gentle in those moments.
Ya Rabb.
Next he says, be upright in justice, as
Allah Ta'ala has commanded you.
This is a very, very difficult thing to
realize, to be just.
Everybody is so good at demanding their rights.
Everybody.
Like we all know, down to the contract,
like we know what our rights are.
And one thing you'll find in Islam, subhanallah,
Islam is so perfect, so balanced.
You'll always find that Islam will encourage party
A, person A, to do something, but they'll
also, the Qur'an, the Sunnah, the Hadith
of the Prophet ﷺ will also encourage what?
Person B.
Like there's a reciprocal relationship.
So Allah will command, you know, children to
be good to their parents, but then he'll
command parents to be good to their children,
be responsible for their kids.
You know the Hadith of the Prophet ﷺ,
whoever does not show mercy to the elders
is not from amongst us, and whoever does
not show kindness to our young people is
not from amongst us.
It's the same Hadith.
Why?
Because you can't ignore one group.
Otherwise it becomes imbalanced.
Right?
So in the pursuit of justice, you have
to remember that it's two-sided.
Justice, number one, is what you are due,
what you deserve, right?
That's your right, that's your haqq.
But at the same time, justice is also
about making sure that you don't violate the
rights of somebody else.
And this is one of the great, great
challenges that we experience now.
And you might think to yourself, like, I'm
not an oppressor.
I'm not like, I don't do anybody wrong.
But there's versions of this that are not
so explicit.
They're very subtle.
You know, oppressing, for example, like the people
that we might work for, or the people
that we might have responsibilities to, to not
do what's actually in our contracts, or not
do what's actually what's expected of us, to
get away from the things that people are
looking for.
And why?
Because we know.
You know, look at the whole remote work
industry that happened.
I'm not trying to put salt on the
wound, right?
But look, like, people were buying devices that
moved their mouses.
Probably invented by a Muslim in Egypt or
something, right?
Or like a dude in Pakistan.
Like, a device that just moves the mouse.
Why?
Why?
Explain to me why.
Why?
Why would it move the mouse?
Tell me.
All of you people, not innocent.
You're not innocent.
Why would this device move the mouse like
this?
Why?
Because, exactly, because there are software applications on
the computer that show when a person's inactive.
And how does it know that if the
mouse is moving?
So you put this thing under your mouse,
and it is able to, because the laser
is able to dictate whether or not the
mouse is moving.
They even had physical ones, somehow, that would
actually, like, move it.
Like one of those cribs that rocks, but
for your mouse.
So that your Microsoft Teams would not show
that you were away from your desk.
That, I'm not calling anybody out here.
So don't raise your hand.
Please.
We're not trying.
But that is against Islamic ethics.
We don't believe that.
You know, Imam Al-Ghazali used to say
something very interesting.
Imam Al-Ghazali lived in a time where
everybody was Muslim, in his era, in his
region.
Sorry, not everybody in the world, but like
in his era.
So why would a Muslim scholar, who lives
in a Muslim community, surrounded by only Muslims,
talk about halal meat?
When we talk about halal, what are we
talking about?
Okay, at the very beginning, we start with,
thank you.
We start with, thanks for launching that grenade
into the middle of this not Q&A
yet.
Okay, at the very beginning, we first talk
about what?
We talk about pork.
Okay, we draw the line at the swine,
right?
And then, that was a good one.
And then, we go above that and we
talk about slaughter method.
Right?
Okay, so this would be how we talk
about these things.
That's our primary.
And if we see like a halal sticker,
if we even see like the letter H
and AL on a window, we're like, we're
good.
It's like, no, my name is Hal.
It's like, and you're halal.
You know, like, we just go and we're
like, we're good.
Right?
Our understanding of halal when it comes to
food is the processing of it.
Right?
Was it slaughtered in a way that is
acceptable according to the Quran, according to the
Sunnah of the Prophet, peace be upon him.
That's how we're thinking about it.
Imam Al-Ghazali, listen to this.
He wrote about this.
He wrote about people that were so scrupulous
and being careful and not eating haram and
don't eat haram and don't eat haram.
And you're thinking, man, if I lived in
a Muslim country, I could just throw all
those chapters away.
Everything is halal.
That's not what it is, man.
Because the money that you earn, if the
money is not permissible, then the food becomes
haram.
So people would cheat.
And then with that profit, they would go
and buy food.
And they would go and feed their family.
And even though that meat was raised by
a Muslim, they read Ayatul Kursi on that
cow.
They poured zamzam on the knife before they
slaughtered it.
They made zabh.
Sorry if you're not understanding where you got
your burger from, but this is how it
happens.
They made zabh of the cow.
They read the 99 names of Allah as
they were processing it.
You went to your Muslim butcher after praying
Asr and bought it from him or her.
It's different times.
And you went back to your house.
You cooked it with the mushaf in your
other hand.
But if the money that you used to
buy that was stolen, it doesn't matter.
The whole process is irrelevant.
Do you understand how serious this is?
So now, I hate to do this, but
we have to think about this.
Imagine how many people, when they get their
ability to earn, which is usually given to
them through some kind of accreditation, whether it's
a diploma or something like that, like follow,
go backwards with me.
So you got the job, and you got
the job because you got the interview, and
you got the interview because maybe you graduated
and you got a degree, which is the
first filter for a lot of applications is
where do you study, apply, put your resume,
et cetera.
And in order to get that diploma from
that university, you had to go to class.
In order to go to class and pass
the classes, you had to do the work.
And sometimes in order to do the work,
you copied somebody else's, or the labs or
the exams that people pass from year to
year.
And now think about what that has done
to the purity of your entire earning.
You with me?
Now, I know I just had a lot
of existential crisis.
Like, oh, my God, what do I do?
Show up at your high school, you're like,
I have to retake chemistry, you know?
Allah, inshallah, look, everyone just say astaghfirullah really
loudly.
May Allah forgive us.
May Allah forgive us.
And I'm not joking.
I'm being serious.
May he forgive us.
But I want to point out something here.
Think about how easily we operate unethically, and
we're not concerned about justice in those moments.
But if that teacher was like, hey, you
know what, I don't know if you actually
wrote this paper.
You're like Islamophobia.
I'm calling CARE.
It's because I'm Muslim.
The person is like, I didn't even know
you were Muslim.
We're so quick to pull the trigger on,
figuratively, to the CIA who's listening.
We're so quick to pull the trigger on
things that are in defense of us, but
we don't hold ourselves accountable for things that
we might be violating.
And this is a prophetic imperative.
The Prophet ﷺ, he said what?
He said, لَا إِمَانَ لِمَنْ لَا أَمَانَةَ لَهُ
There is no faith.
There is no perfect faith, no complete faith
for the person that has no amanah.
And he says, وَلَا دِينَ لِمَنْ لَا عَهْدَ
لَهُ SubhanAllah.
And there is no deen for the person
that cannot keep their promises.
It's so important as you go on this
journey of life that you never ever lose
your ability to be trusted.
It's one of the hardest things to get
back.
Wallahi, it's one of the most difficult things
to get back.
If you violate the trust of somebody and
you don't honor what they've done, what they've
given you, that really important promise of that
trust, it takes so much longer than it
took to break, to get even closer back
at all.
And the person, unfortunately, because the memory is
so sensitive, their heart might have forgiven you
but the memory is so sensitive that the
person might be fighting themselves internally every time
they have to like, I want to trust
you again, I want to trust you again.
But they're thinking in their head.
And it makes you have to do what?
Go above and beyond.
Just want to let you know, this is
why I'm running late, this is why I'm
running...
You're telling them because why?
Because you violated it.
But subhanAllah, what heartache could have been saved?
What pain?
What discomfort?
And all this difficulty could have been saved
if what?
If I just kept my promises and I
honored my trust from the beginning.
So as much as we as Muslims are
obsessed with making sure that we get our
rights, and we should, it's your right.
We should also be equally if not more
obsessed with making sure that we honor our
responsibilities.
We have to make sure.
This idea, this is such a sad idea.
But it's true and it's hard to fight
against it.
The idea that if I want to get
something done well and something done right when
it comes to business, that I'll do business
with somebody who's not from my Muslim community.
It's a heartbreaking thing, man.
It's heartbreaking that if you look at two
people that can do something and one of
them is Muslim and the other is not,
there are people that because of their experiences
will always go to the side that's not.
Because they don't want to trust the person
who's Muslim because they've been wronged.
And you know what?
That person, they have a point.
But we need to be people that make
it, number one, that nobody can ever say
that about us.
Nobody.
You know what this means?
Like even people that are not Muslim, we
have to operate at a higher level.
You know what that means?
Just one more question for you, sir.
You know the tip thing?
You already paid $12 for your pistachio latte.
Just one more question.
Make it $15, you know.
That means as a Muslim, especially if you
are like visibly Muslim, I'm sorry, you got
to pay the Muslim tax, which is the
Dawah tax, which is there should be no
Muslim that goes to a restaurant and doesn't
tip.
Mmm.
Sister just told on herself a little bit.
She goes, oop.
There should be no Muslim.
There should be no Muslim.
There should be no Muslim that a person
can point at and say they're cheap.
You know the Prophet ﷺ?
I get emotional, man.
Can you imagine meeting him?
Can you imagine meeting him ﷺ?
And he was the most generous of people.
And you have to explain to him why
somebody attributed your cheapness to his religion because
you wanted to save a little bit of
money.
For what?
For what?
So for us, if we want Jannah, which
we do, it's not cheap, man.
Consider it Sadaqah.
Consider it charity.
You have somebody that comes to your house.
How many of you, raise your hand.
Let's say that maybe your parents were Muslim,
right?
You were born and raised in a Muslim
household, which doesn't make you better than anybody
else, but just for the context here.
And if somebody came to the house, plumber,
electrician, whatever, how many of your parents tried
to take care of them a little bit
extra?
Anybody?
You have that culture in your house?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
In part because you're like, we are legal,
right?
We have papers, you know?
Don't report us.
No, I'm joking.
Not that.
But really, why?
Because of that dawah.
My mom, I joke with her till this
day.
My mom, we were doing some construction in
our house, and I woke up one day,
man, it was like the best smell, kofta.
And my mom used to make some bomb
kofta.
And she still does.
I can't say used to.
So I woke up, and I would come
downstairs, and I'm like, can't wait, you know?
Kofta for lunch would be amazing.
And then I would look, and I see
on the stove, there's just a pot of,
like, basically, we call it koshary, right?
So it's just, I'm trying to explain koshary
to those who don't know koshary.
But it's basically a mixture of tomato sauce,
lentils.
It's also, it's fire, by the way.
But it's not kofta.
Together, we have a deal, okay?
Kofta and koshary.
Koshary is not, it has no meat in
it, it's vegetarian.
It's known in Egypt as the food of
the simple people, right?
They serve it to you in a bag.
That's how simple it is.
There's no Michelin stars there, okay?
But kofta is nice.
And then when time came for lunch, my
mom would be like, go and give this
out to the people who are working.
And I'm like, man, these poor guys get
koshary.
And I walk out, and I'm like, this
koshary is heavy.
It smells a lot like meat.
And I go out there, and my mom
made the kofta for them.
And then we're like, what's for lunch, mama?
And she's like, koshary, you peasants.
Eat the koshary.
And we're like, can we have more fried
onions?
She's like, no.
You know, she would send them the soft
drinks.
She would give us the water.
Like, that's just how it was.
Why?
Because she, my mom, muslimah, very obviously muslimah,
wears the hijab, wears the hijab, et cetera.
Like, this is just the way that she
was.
So this is just, as a muslim, this
is how we got to operate.
This is how we got to be.
And then, subhanallah, I'll tell you something.
There is a moment where Allah will give
you an opening.
What do I mean by that?
The person will ask you.
Because this is very abnormal.
Right?
It's not normal in this society that people
are like generous like this.
We're not a magnanimous society.
You know, you don't understand generosity and hospitality
until you travel.
In America, it's like not that way.
That's why they call it southern hospitality because
that's kind of like all we got.
But in the north, if you say hi
to somebody, I remember, I'm from Chicago.
When I first moved to Tennessee for a
little bit, I was walking downstairs and there
was a lady.
She's like, hi.
I said, what do you want?
I thought she was like asking for something.
She's like, how are you?
I'm like, I'm fine.
Why?
I thought, no, wallahi, I thought she was
like trying to like, can you do that?
You come to Tennessee or somewhere.
Texas is not really the southwest.
But you go to some places and you're
like, howdy.
And they're like, hi.
And you're like, they're trying to get to
know this guy in the planes probably the
other day.
He's like, what do you do for work?
I'm like, none of your business.
It's hard.
It's like deeply embedded in the Chicagoan, right?
He also kind of gave me fed energy.
So I just say I'm a teacher.
What do you teach?
Religion.
Where?
School.
What school?
In Carrollton.
You know, I just keep it as vague
as possible.
I'm not going to get me like that.
The point being is we have as Muslims
a responsibility to be generous and to be
kind and magnanimous with people.
And when they ask you why, it's the
perfect chance for you to say what?
My religion taught me to do this.
My religion taught me to do this.
It's because my religion.
And they'll say, what is that?
You'll say, I'm Muslim.
Now imagine you might be the first Muslim
that anyone has ever met in real life.
And you're telling them as they are the
benefactor of something you did.
That the only reason why you did that
for them was because this man named Muhammad
ﷺ taught you.
Now imagine meeting him on the Day of
Judgment.
And saying, Ya Rasulullah, I put the sweetness
of your name in their mouth because of
I gave them a little tip.
I was nice to them.
And this is very, very, very, very important.
Especially with people that are working in the
service industry.
You don't got to impress the white collar
folks.
They already know who you are.
But the people that come and serve you,
right?
If you're flying on a plane, the ones
serving the drinks.
Just step up and help.
Just do what you can.
We don't treat people like they're our servants
in that way.
No.
The Prophet ﷺ, he told us that part
of our justice is to make sure that
the people that are doing work.
Oh, this is crazy.
Pay the one who works for you, he
said, before the sweat dries.
How many people are calling, please pay me,
please pay me, please pay me.
I did the work, can you pay me?
Is something wrong, can you pay me?
The Prophet ﷺ said, pay before the sweat
dries.
Which means what?
Like, before they're even leaving.
You should walk out there and be like,
hey, this is for you.
Throw a little bit extra in there.
Oh, we only agreed on this much.
Don't worry about it.
Don't worry about it.
I got to have kushri now, but don't
worry about it, right?
Okay?
May Allah Ta'ala give us Tawfiq in
this.
What is the cause of all of this?
What is the source of all of this?
The source of all of this is humility.
Tawwadun.
A person being humble.
The opposite of humility is when a person
places themselves in a position where they don't
belong.
Do you understand what that means?
A person who puts themselves in a status
where they're not actually at yet.
So somebody who thinks that they're a lot
better than they are.
So Imam Al-Muhasibi, he says, if you
want to be a person that can be
just, that can be kind, that can be
gentle, that can be generous, all of that.
He says part of the way to get
there is to be honest with who you
are.
And to not overestimate yourself.
Also, we don't underestimate.
We don't self-deprecate and say, oh no,
I'm the worst, I'm horrible, I'm horrible.
No.
There's no benefit in talking down to yourself.
But there is absolutely no benefit in inflating
yourself as well.
Just be moderate.
Be a person who can look in the
mirror and see who you really are.
And so he says, beware your soul.
Beware of your soul causing you to imagine
a spiritual status for yourself that you have
not attained.
And this is especially possible in the world
of like the Internet.
Where nobody can tell by your profile picture
or your comment who you really are.
Nobody can tell.
Everybody can very much so put themselves out
there as a much better person than they
really are.
And we do.
We put the nicest pictures.
I've seen your LinkedIn's.
Headshots are nice, right?
MashaAllah.
We put ourselves out there as nice people.
We put ourselves out there as, you know,
well-mannered, good etiquette, strong faith, etc., etc.
That's okay.
You don't have to air your dirty laundry.
No one's saying that you need to, my
top 10 sins in 2024.
The new rap, you know, like, my Shaytan
rapped, you know.
No, you don't need to do that.
No one is saying to do that.
But, but, don't lie to yourself.
Don't lie to yourself.
A lot of times we write a comment
or we say something and we'll walk away
thinking like, yeah, I am him.
But subhanAllah, in reality, you know who you
really are.
Well, why did I say that to myself?
I'm going to be vulnerable with you.
Somebody comes up to me and says, heart
work changed my life.
You know what I say to myself the
minute you say that to me?
I say, I know who I really am.
I know.
Like, you don't know who I am.
Allah has shielded, you know, my mistakes, my
shortcomings.
But I know who I really am.
And it doesn't really matter what somebody says
to you.
One of the scholars, he said, when people
praise you, they're not actually praising you.
They're praising Allah's covering of you.
So all of us get praised in a
way that we don't deserve.
Oh, you're so smart.
You're so kind.
You're so this.
You're so that.
Remind yourself, this is not them actually knowing
me.
This is them praising Allah's covering of me.
Allah has covered me in such a generous
way.
He has hidden my mistakes because He is
the one who hides those things.
And my job, my job is to be
grateful to Him and to keep my head
down and keep working.
Keep working.
You don't have to beat yourself up.
But you also shouldn't get high off your
own supply.
Put your head down and keep going.
Never let your soul cause you to believe
that you have gotten to a state that
you haven't gotten.
Because why?
There's even a psychological phenomenon for this.
Where if a person thinks or speaks too
much about what they plan to do, they'll
never actually put forth the plan to do
it.
So if you're like, yeah, I'm this, I'm
that, I'm this, I'm that.
The reality is what you're actually doing is
sabotaging your way there.
So instead of thinking or talking about your
religiosity, your piety, etc.
Just do it.
Don't talk about going to Fajr.
Just go.
Just go.
If nobody knows, it's fine.
Don't talk about giving sadaqah.
Just give it.
Right?
The only time that we should feel comfortable
talking about something ever is when it's so
regular to us that it's not special anymore.
Right?
That's whenever you talk about something that's not
special to you, you don't risk being arrogant
from it.
Like look at your neighbor.
Look at your neighbor right now.
And tell them something you did today that's
totally normal.
Someone said I brushed my teeth.
Very good.
Okay.
I was waiting for that.
I was waiting for that.
Okay?
How many of you went to the bathroom?
MashaAllah.
Wow.
Make wudu before Isha.
Okay?
How many of you brushed your teeth?
Raise your hand.
How many of you yawned?
Do you see how you felt no pride
saying these things?
I brushed my teeth today.
Yeah, he's like, good, you sicko.
You should brush every day.
Why are you proud of that?
You know what I mean?
That is the effect.
You know how you felt no pride?
That's how you should feel.
If I tell someone like I prayed Fajr
today, they should be like, good.
It's one of the five prayers.
You know?
And only when you get to the point
where you don't feel pride.
You can feel good.
Like you should feel good you brushed your
teeth.
But you should not be like I brushed
my teeth.
No.
You're clearly flexing something that was not ever
meant to be flexed.
Okay?
So that is how you can control your
soul intoxicating you a little bit.
Be careful with that.
May Allah protect us from that.
And the last one for today.
It says, know that a person cannot benefit
from the daylight if they lack vision.
Know that a person cannot benefit from the
daylight if they lack vision.
This is his, you know, he's speaking with
rhetoric.
He's very, you know, he has a lot
of Fasaha in his language.
He's very beautiful in his language.
I'll read to you what he means of
this.
Or how he set it up.
He said, know that Allah Ta'ala's grace
is constant to you.
His grace, His forgiveness is constant to you.
Despite your constancy in disobeying Him.
Know that His patience is with you.
Despite you neglecting Him.
Know that He hides your flaws constantly.
Despite the fact that you're not always shy
with Him.
Meaning you sin openly.
And know the fact that Allah Ta'ala
is completely free of needing anybody.
And you are totally in need of Him.
But He still chooses to take care of
you.
And then he finishes by saying, This is
the knowledge.
Because he said, know, know, know, know.
Like K-N-O-W.
Know this, know this, know this.
He says, this is the knowledge that will
illuminate your path to Allah SWT.
By knowing these things, when you hear, Allahu
Akbar, Allahu Akbar.
You'll say, you know what, it's time for
me to go pray.
Why?
Because Allah's forgiveness is there despite my sinfulness.
And only the person who has eyesight can
appreciate the light that's in front of them.
But many of us, the light is surrounding
us.
Notice that by the way.
He doesn't say that the light is gone.
No.
Allah's Noor is all around us.
Constantly.
You see it in your brothers and sisters.
You see it in your reminders.
You see it in the creation of the
earth.
You see it in your life, in the
miracles that happen.
The small ones, the big ones, everything in
between.
You see all of this.
But the actual ability to process that is
only possible from the heart that can see.
Right?
That's it.
So when Allah SWT talks about the person's
ability to see something, He's not talking about
their physical sight or their blindness.
He's saying a spiritual blindness.
One person's heart thinks that something comes from
the universe.
I manifested this, etc.
And the other person realizes that Allah SWT
sent this provision for me.
Allah SWT sent this provision for me.
And it gets so granular.
Our goal is that this becomes something that's
so everyday, every breath that we take.
Abu Bakr as-Siddiq radiAllahu anhu, when he
used to eat his food, he used to
actually say Bismillah before every single bite.
Not once.
You know it's only obligatory to say Bismillah
before the first one.
But he would say every bite because he
wanted to remind himself that it wasn't that
the first bite was from Allah, but it
was every bite.
And he would say Alhamdulillah after every bite.
Like that was just his practice.
It's not an obligation.
You're not sinful if you don't do that.
But what kind of person, subhanAllah, his heart
figures this out.
His heart came to that realization.
Bismillah before every bite, Alhamdulillah.
Now, I don't want you guys going to
sohbah and be like, Bismillah, Alhamdulillah.
Keep that to yourself.
Remember, we're not showing off here with this.
We don't show off with piety.
We don't wear piety like a garb.
We want to make sure that the special
relationship between us and Allah is between us
and Allah.
That's what makes it special.
So you say it to yourself, you keep
it to yourself.
But ask yourself, how can I make sure
that I am not spiritually blinded in my
heart, that I'm able to witness the daylight
that Allah Ta'ala has given me, the
nur that Allah Ta'ala has presented before
me.
We'll go ahead and conclude here with some
Q&A inshaAllah.
We have one more section that we're going
to finish off with where he talks a
little bit about passing away.
And I wanted to save that for the
end inshaAllah for next week for our conclusion
for this series.
Again, we're not going to have a session
on the, what is it, 21st?
What's today?
The 9th, so that makes it.
We're not going to have a session on
the 23rd nor the 30th.
Oh no, we will have it on the
30th inshaAllah if my flight lands on time.
I come back from Umrah at 3pm, so
I'll just go home and I'll ride the
jet lag here inshaAllah.
But inshaAllah we won't have a session on
the 23rd and we'll be starting a new
session on the 30th inshaAllah.
Okay, let's go ahead and do some Q
&A.
If you have any questions, slido.com and
then you can type in heartwork inshaAllah.
Okay, oh man, in pairs, here we go.
When you're getting to know someone for marriage,
is it normal to feel extremely sure on
some days and extremely unsure on other days?
Is this a sign to continue or not
to continue?
You know the amazing thing about nasib, you
guys know what nasib is, right?
The amazing thing about nasib is that you
can't ever like outdo it.
If it's meant to be, it's meant to
be.
So you pray istikhara and you ask Allah
swt, Oh Allah, inni astikhiruka, that I'm asking
you, I'm seeking your choice in this matter.
Choose for me.
If there's something good in this, you know,
in my dunya, in my deen, then oh
Allah, give it to me, make it easy
for me.
If not, then take it away from me
and give me something better than it, right?
Replace it for me.
And so after making that, just bismillah, take
steps forward.
If it works, it works.
If it doesn't work, it was never going
to be, right?
There's no, oh, if only this, if only
that.
No, no, no.
It was never going to be, okay?
So to answer your question, is it normal?
I would say that, yeah, it's normal to
be nervous.
That's nervous, right?
That's like, should I go, should I not
go?
Should I buy it, should I not buy
it?
These are very common, you know, I would
say a person who goes back and forth
between, you know, a different mindset with something,
absolutely.
Extremely and extremely, that might just be like
a personal trait.
But it's definitely normal for a person to
be more certain on some days and less
certain on others.
And this is why you lean on seeking
shura, making dua, istikhara, and saying bismillah.
If it's meant to happen, it will happen,
inshallah.
When it comes to parenting, to what extent
can gentleness work, specifically when children will not
listen or go against everything you say?
Yeah, I think that there's different, depending on
the age that this child is, there's different
approaches.
Gentleness is also different depending on the age,
right?
So gentleness for a baby is very different
than gentleness for a toddler, than for a
young child, than for an older child, than
for a teenager.
It looks different.
So I would say that this is more
of a specific question.
But I will say this.
Gentleness should never ever be seen as the
opposite of good parenting, right?
There's gentleness in even discipline.
For example, you can give someone consequences, but
you don't have to scream at them.
In fact, the worst consequences I ever got
were from my dad.
And my dad just said, give me your
car keys.
I'm like, why?
He's like, you're not driving for a week.
I'm like, dad?
He's like, no discussion.
Typical Irish-American white dude.
No, give me your car keys.
My mom, on the other hand, is Egyptian.
That's its own thing.
Every neighbor within three blocks could know that
I wasn't driving for a week.
My dad was just like, put the keys
here.
Just silence.
Like silent power, dude.
Like crazy.
So gentleness, but consequences.
Both consequences were achieved.
Namaste Kamani one time was teaching a class
that I loved, and he said something I
thought was so amazing.
He said, you should never ever deliver consequences
when you're angry.
Because you're not actually trying to change behavior.
You're just trying to solve your anger.
So he said, if you're angry, just wait.
And then give consequences when you're not angry.
Because then the consequences will make sense.
But if you're angry, you're going to say
things you regret, right?
This is for everybody.
Can we get an impairs discount code?
You're asking the wrong guy.
The right guy is wearing an impairs hoodie.
I'm stressed about my dream towards physician associate
school not working out.
There are many obstacles and mistakes in my
way.
It's hard to keep faith with sadness growing.
Realize, subhanallah, that all Allah ta'ala asks
of anybody is to put in the work.
Put in your work.
And after you've done everything that you can,
if something does not come to fruition, then
you need to understand that that was Allah
ta'ala saving you from something, right?
Don't give up early, meaning like don't be
like, oh, I don't feel good about it.
If you give up, that's fine.
But do your part.
Do your part.
Tie your camel.
And then if it doesn't work out, then
it means that Allah ta'ala was directing
you in a different direction.
That's okay.
And you'll come to realize that.
You'll come to see it.
There are many stories.
Talk to people who are older than you,
by the way.
If anyone's having like a lot of like
doubt and sadness from doubt, talk to people
who are older than you.
Don't talk to people younger than you or
your age.
Don't ever receive like deep existential spiritual advice
from people your age.
I've seen this to myself too.
Like we're both 36.
Like what do you know and what do
I know?
Talk to someone who's like in their 50s
and they'll tell you like, it's okay.
Or they'll say, it's actually really serious.
You should take this really seriously.
But a person who's 36, like it's like
the blind leading the blind.
Like we're just holding hands, bumping into walls
together.
Like, you know what I mean?
You don't know more than I do, especially
if you're both in the same status.
You know what I mean?
Just don't get advice from situation from people
who haven't lived that advice.
I would say my best advice for that
is seek friendship and companionship from people that
are older, your friends, your uncles and aunts.
The friends of your parents can also be
good if they're very wise.
Okay?
That's what community is.
The thought keeps crossing my mind, my du
'as are not being answered.
But I push them away and I keep
praying.
Does this count as being hasty with du
'at?
No.
In fact, if you have a bad thought
and you push it away, it's a sign
that you're a good person.
Right?
It's a sign that you're a good person.
If you have a negative thought, which is
from the whispers of shaytan or the whispers
of your own nafs, and you push it
away, it's a sign that your iman is
strong.
Like a person whose iman is strong, it's
not that they don't get bad thoughts.
But it's that whenever they're able to, they're
able to repel those things.
And then eventually, subhanAllah, the bad thought loses
its potency, like loses its effectiveness.
Especially with things like good company, good habits,
right?
If you change your regimen a little bit,
it helps a lot.
It helps a lot.
So if you ever have a thought that
is counterintuitive to like your own spiritual growth
or your beliefs, just push it away, repel
it.
Tell yourself, I know better.
I know better than this.
I know that this is the case.
I know that this is the case.
I've heard, I've read, I've listened.
I know better than this, right?
This is just a moment of weakness.
Bismillah.
I'm gonna keep it going.
Keep pushing.
Please water the plant.
We do water the plants here.
My goodness.
You water the plant.
We actually have a person who comes in
every two weeks and checks the plants and
waters them.
Her name's Becca.
Okay.
Interesting.
Okay.
I like this one.
This is a little spicy.
Okay.
I feel like everyone meets their Naseeb through
male-female friendships or hangouts, and if you
don't do that, it makes it 10 times
harder to meet anyone in America.
Any advice?
That's interesting, and I can see why you
feel that way.
But let me offer you a different perspective.
Any time that I literally am sitting with
somebody who's looking to get married, and I'm
like, why don't you marry that person?
They're like, no, no, no, no, no.
We've been friends for so long.
No, no, no, no.
We're friends.
No, no, no.
We're friends.
He's like my brother.
She's like my sister.
So in reality, there's no actual rhyme or
reason to this.
A lot of people are like, well, I
feel like I'm only able to meet someone
if I'm friends with them.
Actually, in my opinion, that actually lowers your
chances.
It lowers your chances.
So if you really want to marry somebody,
do it the right way.
Do it the right way.
Trying to take shortcuts or go around the
side or this stuff, it ends up depleting
a lot of that.
And I'll tell you why, even from a
psychological standpoint.
There are some – man, it's crazy.
Elders are like always right.
So there was an auntie that told me
this a long time ago.
And as I'm saying this, I'm just seeing
her smiling at me.
She once told me something very powerful.
She said basically if you approach marriage outside
of the process of marriage, you are doing
things that Allah has only ordained for a
certain process outside of its place.
And she said it's basically like taking something
that's not ripe or not ready and rushing
it.
You're going to end up wasting it or
you're going to end up not enjoying it
and wasting it.
So she said like if you want to
eat the banana and it's green, you have
to wait and do it with patience.
If you do it too fast or too
early, not only are you going to not
enjoy the green banana unless you're a weirdo,
you are going to end up with nothing
to eat now.
And you could have just waited for a
day or two and it would have been
fine.
So the lesson she was trying to teach
me I think was that you have to
do things the right way.
If you do things the wrong way, you're
going to end up not only ruining that
moment but never able to recover it.
I tell people sometimes if you really like
somebody and you really want to marry them,
make sure you do it the right way
because you could actually be ruining something that
could be pretty good.
So I would argue no, it's not that
people only meet people through female friendships.
I didn't know my wife when we got
married.
The first day I met her was the
day we got married.
I'm joking.
It's not that intense.
I mean we met through our communities and
then we talked and then we got married.
I was younger but the point being is
that you can meet through different ways.
Impair's guy is just staring at me right
now.
He's like, how can you meet people exactly?
Rude's discount code.
I don't get any cut.
If I'm divorced and if a potential is
asking about what happens, how much do I
need to tell them because I don't want
to talk bad about anyone.
May Allah bless you for being such an
upstanding person.
You only need to say things that are
relevant.
You don't need to divulge every single thing.
Social security number, height, weight, blood type, all
that.
No, really.
And if they say what happened, you can
just start with it didn't work out and
then say why.
And say, well, I was this way.
They were that way.
Families, parents, et cetera, tried to work through
it.
It didn't work.
And if they're like, well, why?
You can give a little bit more.
But generally speaking, you don't have to divulge
every single thing.
And if somebody is like really, really like
investigating on every single detail, it might be
a red flag.
No, seriously.
If they don't feel comfortable with it, if
you give them a very proper professional response,
they don't feel comfortable, it might be a
red flag.
Let me make it easy.
Is posting yourself on social media halal?
The award for most general question in the
world goes to...
So, it depends.
Use your best judgment.
If you're asking that question, probably should...
Are women required to take on the cooking
and cleaning at home?
I get confused what my role is as
a wife and how much I'm allowed to
expect from my husband in chores.
Islam actually does not determine with definitive evidence,
meaning Quran and Hadith, what the roles of
a home are in a definitive sense.
This is a conversation between the people and
their cultures and their families.
And so you just have to figure it
out.
You have to figure it out.
Now, some cultures, that is the default.
And it would be a challenge to go
against that.
And some cultures, it's not the default.
But Islam does not say in the Quran
nor the Hadith that cooking is a responsibility
of the wife, etc, etc.
This is something that is more predominantly a
logical pathway that arrived from the breadwinning and
earning of the man and the taking care
of the home of the woman as was
done traditionally for God knows how long.
But now in the current era that we
live in where a lot of men and
women are both working and there are different
situations, it is something that people have to
discuss amongst themselves and figure out something that
works for you.
And it might change based on even the
time of your life.
Maybe early on it's a little bit less
structured.
Then maybe when there's kids, it becomes more
structured because the kids are going to maybe
depend on their mother more in more intimate
ways.
And then when the kids get older and
go to school, it becomes a little bit
less structured again.
So it's coming into it with a, oh,
this is exactly how it's going to be
for me.
If you come into things very rigid, they're
easier to break.
So you have to come into things with
more understanding and flexibility.
And you should literally not be talking about
that that early in the process.
Is listening to music that doesn't have bad
lyrics or any language we can't understand?
Oh, the K-pop people.
Is it halal?
So the question is musical instruments.
Are musical instruments haram?
I was sitting with Shaykh Akram Nadweer, I
asked him this question.
He said, we don't have a sahih and
sarih evidence that says explicitly that musical instruments
are haram.
We have a thought of the Sahaba that
say that they are pathways to haram, which
is true.
There's no doubt that they lead to things
that are impermissible, etc., etc.
But in and of themselves, we don't have
what he said is sahih, which means it's
qata'i and it's dalala and it's thubut.
Meaning it's meaning and it's transmission that reached
us.
And sarih, which means undoubtedly this is what
it's talking about.
But then listen to this amazing plot twist.
So I'm sitting there, I'm like, wow, Shaykh,
that's amazing.
And he goes, but who has time to
listen to music?
And I was like, wow, that's a scholar
right there.
So he's like, even if I can't make
inqad of it, I'm not going to say
that it's haram.
He's like, if you're listening to music, it's
probably wasting your time.
Pretty smart guy, right?
So I would say that, again, in the
spirit of his answer, you know, Allah knows
best.
If it doesn't have lyrics, I would just,
I would stay away from a lot of
stuff.
You get, you outgrow music, honestly, at some
point as well.
You're just kind of like everything sounds the
same.
And then you start listening to podcasts and
that's when you really lose your coolness.
Can I get tattooed if I make it
to Jannah?
Sure.
You can do whatever you want, I guess.
Just keep it to yourself.
Okay, this is a serious question.
So if we can just really quickly get
serious inshallah.
As a revert, how do I keep a
good relationship with my brother, who is gay
and also is atheist without compromising my own
faith?
Very good question.
I'm going to extend this question beyond just
these two things.
So if a person has a relationship with
a sibling and that sibling, their life or
their, you know, belief is antithetical to your
Islamic belief.
Okay, how do you manage that relationship?
And the answer I give when people ask
this, Wallah, Allah knows best is just give
them whatever they're ready to take.
Right, so from Islam, provide them whatever level
they're willing to take.
You know, some people are willing to discuss
more deep theological things.
Some people are more interested in good character
and general virtue.
You know, like if anyone here hears a
quote from like Confucius or like the Buddha,
it's been like, it's been normalized in Western
society that we hear these things.
And we're like, wow, that was pretty deep.
The Prophet, peace be upon him, has amazing
statements, by the way, you know, that are
really impressive.
And that even to the non-Muslim can
be very moving and impactful, you know.
And so you can use those to kind
of generate goodwill conversation and go as much
as somebody is willing to listen to, right.
But it's not your job to impose, nor
is it your job to change.
It's your job just to be a good
representative and a good teacher, okay.
Now that's the more like, you know, scientific
answer.
The heartfelt answer is that it must be
very difficult, right.
And I can imagine, right.
I've shared before, my own sister left Islam,
so I can understand this.
And I get it.
I do think that there is a special
barakah for people that endure this in their
families, may Allah Ta'ala make it easy
for you.
And just make sure that your faith in
Allah Ta'ala is your highest priority and
is rock solid, Inshallah.
Okay.
We'll finish with this one and then we'll
go to Isha prayer, Inshallah.
And then I have to actually head out
because my wife has class literally right after
this.
So I have to go home to the
kids, Inshallah, to do bedtime while she comes
to class.
Husband has anger, it lacks self-control.
I'm afraid that he may teach our child
the same.
How to teach being gentle when the husband
is the total opposite.
It sounds like you absolutely, Inshallah, if you
ever have a big, big difference in your
worldview, in your perspective, in how you operate,
you have to make sure that you go
and try to solve it and seek remediation
to fix this because you cannot have a
contradictory approach in raising children.
There is no one who calls people out
more than children.
Children will call their parents out whether it's
internal or external.
They will suss it out immediately.
So you have to.
It's your responsibility to make sure that you
give your child a good upbringing, right, that
you really try to invoke this counseling or
remediation to try to fix this, Inshallah.
And hopefully Allah Ta'ala puts success in
your effort and makes it easier.
Wallahu a'adam.
Ameen.
Okay.
Jazakumullahu khairan, everybody, Inshallah.
By the way, we have a couple of
events I want to share with you.
Brotherly, we have our Brotherly AR VR Gamebox
event, Inshallah, this weekend with Ustadh Mahmood.
There's only 30 spots, brothers.
So if you want to come through, meet
some new brothers, Inshallah, and hang out, it
is going to be on Saturday.
We're going to start here at 2 o
'clock, and it's at the Gamebox in Grandscape
at 3 p.m., Inshallah.
So please join us there.
On Sunday, we also have our first Community
Souq.
Community Souq on Sunday.
It's like a farmer's market, food stalls, abaya,
everything.
It's going to be here, Inshallah, on Sunday.
Please register.
Check our website, Inshallah, our Instagram, and you'll
be able to get registered.
Jazakumullahu khairan.
Wassalamu'alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.