AbdelRahman Murphy – Heartwork Guided Steps To The Path Of Allah #20
AI: Summary ©
The importance of proper self expression, finding one's actions, and maintaining character is emphasized in various ways, including finding one's actions and allowing oneself time to grieve and process. The importance of changing one's appearance to reflect their actions and not denying one's stance is also emphasized. The theory of "has" is discussed, meaning someone who wants to take their own life for themselves.
AI: Summary ©
Yeah, I think Hafiz Abdul Rahman went up
to go get it, okay?
Okay, Salam Alaikum.
Salam Alaikum.
Ooh, it's loud.
There we go.
Salam Alaikum.
All right, that's better.
Bismillah, Bismillah, walhamdulillah, wassalatu wassalamu ala rasulillahi wa
ala alihi wa ashabihi ajma'een.
Welcome home, everybody.
It's good to see you, alhamdulillah.
Insha'Allah, insha'Allah, we are making our
way through.
We have probably like three or four sessions
left of this text, insha'Allah.
This text, again, written by Imam al-Muhasibi,
who is a great scholar who was trying
to write down a recipe book.
I'm laughing because when I left my house,
my kids were baking something.
There's a book called, like, Desserts for Kids,
and it's just got, like, all these basic
recipes.
And I was thinking, you know, subhanAllah, this
is just the spiritual version of that.
He's trying to guide us, to give us
a good foundational understanding of our own spiritual
development.
And the reason why these are really important
conversations is because when you live in times
of confusion, clarity is, like, the most important,
you know, it's the most important asset.
When a person lives in darkness, you know,
being in a state of illumination is the
only thing that makes sense out of anything.
And so when we read these texts, you
know, what I'm hoping for, insha'Allah, and
this is not, I'm hoping that people don't
feel like, oh, I can only do this
on Monday night.
Of course, we host it because we enjoy
having the company and the barakah of everyone's
gathering.
But I hope, insha'Allah, that everybody can
also feel the sense of, you know, confidence
that you can also go and pick up
a book and read.
And you can also extract and ask yourself
these deep questions, insha'Allah, as you go
along the way.
And so we're hoping that this text gives
us a good framework in understanding what is
our focus for our own spiritual development.
We finished last week talking about the topic
in the conversation about understanding the difference between
the focus of the dunya, which is this
world, right?
The dunya is Arabic for technically, right?
It means that which is lower or more
near.
But what you find is it refers to
this world.
So the dunya.
And then you have the akhira, which is
the next life.
And we mentioned that in the Qur'an,
right?
The ayah that's actually hanging in the back
of the space.
بَلْ تُؤْثِرُونَ لِلْحَيَاةَ الدُّنْيَا وَالْآخِرَةُ خَيْرٌ وَأَبْقَىٰ That
Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, He says very
bluntly, very straight, that you prefer this dunya,
but the akhira is in fact what is
better.
And not only is it better, but it's
also permanent.
It's everlasting.
So Imam al-Muhasabi takes that concept of
the tension between this life and the next
life, and he tells us that the way
in which you think and operate and experience
this life versus the next life, it tells
you a lot about yourself.
And if you want to become a person
that's like better as a Muslim, he says,
interestingly enough, look at your goals.
Look at where you're planning to go.
If your goal is to only benefit in
this dunya, then that's going to show itself.
That's going to reveal itself.
If your goal is to benefit, not in
this dunya primarily, but in the akhira, that's
also going to show itself.
So for example, if somebody has an argument
with somebody, you're debating, you're arguing, and we'll
talk about that a little bit today because
he brings it up.
If you are a dunya-focused person, then
naturally, you're not going to think about what's
to come later.
You're going to engage in tactics and strategies.
You're going to try to humiliate and denigrate
the person because you don't care beyond the
actual debate itself.
You just want to win the debate and
that's it.
But if you care about the akhira, if
you care about the next life, your focus
is no longer just to win this debate
or win this argument or humiliate this person.
Now, you have a much longer focus.
Your focus is to please Allah, and so
that might actually require losing the debate.
That might require conceding so that you can
please Allah on the other side of it.
All of these examples, all of these sort
of litmus tests, they have infinite applications.
If a person, for example, only cares about
the dunya, naturally, they'll start to steal.
They'll start to lie.
They'll start to take things that aren't theirs.
Why?
Because they just care about now.
But if a person's concern is their akhira,
then they will think twice about doing something
that is stealing or illegal or harmful or
whatnot, okay?
So he mentions this and he says that
these are some of the signs that you'll
find within yourself.
How do you respond?
Do you respond in a way that is
beneficial to your afterlife?
Or do you respond only in a way
that is beneficial to your current material life?
So then he says it has been related
in a hadith.
The Prophet, peace be upon him, he said
that Relieve yourself of the concern of this
dunya as much as possible.
Try to give it up.
It's easier said than done.
Wallahi, I know.
It's easier said than done.
But he says relieve yourself of this world
as much as possible.
And he says because there's a psychological switch
that occurs when a person does that.
When a person cares and doesn't care.
Have you guys ever cared about something very
deeply and then some time went on and
you don't care anymore?
Has that happened to you before?
We're not talking about things that you should
care about.
But just in general.
I remember when I was a kid getting
the latest pair of shoes.
You care about it so deeply.
And you get that new pair of shoes
and you're so excited and there's like a
honeymoon period, right?
There's like the new article of clothing honeymoon
period.
And then you get your first crease or
your first scuff or something.
Somebody steps on it.
There's a stain on it.
And all of a sudden now, all of
that emotion that you invested into that thing,
whatever it might be, is gone.
And it leaves you.
And sometimes Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will
do things to you in order to break
that attachment.
In order to break it.
I've mentioned this story before but my mind
always goes back to this.
I was at this one, in desi culture
they call it an Ameen.
Do you know what Ameen is?
It's when a kid finishes reading the Qur
'an from start to finish, from cover to
cover.
In the beginning, what do they call it?
Fatiha?
Bismillah, sorry.
It's all these words.
They call it subhanallah, la ilaha illallah.
When a kid starts reading the Qur'an
for the first time, they call it a
Bismillah, right?
They start.
And then when they finish, they'll have like
an Ameen.
And they'll make a dua.
And it's a beautiful accomplishment.
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make the
Qur'an a part of our lives.
It's a beautiful accomplishment.
So I was at the Ameen, but I
gotta be real with you.
I didn't know who this kid was.
And I had just gotten this car that
I had wanted.
I was saving up for it.
I just went and got it, alhamdulillah.
And I drove it to this kid's Ameen.
And I was there and I was kind
of like, you know, just do my thing.
Just when you're at a venue and you're
there on behalf, because you know somebody who
knows somebody who knows somebody.
Just kind of like sitting, smiling, right?
Like, yeah, so like, you know.
And subhanallah, this is when I was living
in Tennessee.
I was living in Knoxville, Tennessee.
And all of a sudden, out of nowhere,
this happens in Dallas sometimes.
It was a beautiful day.
All of a sudden, out of nowhere, these
clouds came in very quickly.
And they came in and this hail started
dropping like insane.
And I'm not joking.
I literally drove from the dealership to this
Ameen.
And all the kids are having fun and
they're like, you know, dancing or whatever.
And people are just kind of like, oh,
it's hailing.
And you just see me standing with my
arms behind my back at the window, just
like single teardrop.
As I see this brand new car that
I just bought, that I was saving for,
just get absolutely destroyed, right?
Just absolutely pummeled like the Cowboys in the
playoffs.
Absolutely destroyed.
And I'm sitting there.
And of course, like you're experiencing all these
emotions.
Because you're human.
You're human.
When you see something that you want get
tarnished or get dirty or get ruined, your
humanness shows.
And it wasn't, I'm not gonna lie to
you, it wasn't until like a few weeks
later that I understood that this was part
of Allah's process in breaking my attachment to
the dunya, right?
Like what makes you happy?
It's ironic that I was less interested in
celebrating the Quranic achievement of a young boy
and I was more focused on celebrating the
achievement of a car that is not going
to last as long as this kid's gonna
live.
But that's the way that the dunya kind
of changes our scope, our framework.
So he says, for the person who makes
the dunya their primary concern, then Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala will multiply the concern of
this person.
Psychologically what happens is everything becomes a concern.
You get something new, that's the object of
your eye.
Now what happens?
There's accessories, right?
You get a new phone, everyone's so excited,
you gotta get a case.
You gotta get a screen protector.
You gotta get this, you gotta get that.
Everyone's gotta get these things.
Oh, it doesn't fit my car anymore.
It's not just that you're buying a new
phone, you have a lot more concerns now.
Getting one new thing means you have to
get 10 or 20 new things.
And so if that is your primary concern,
you're gonna feel the burden of that, the
anxiety that comes with that.
And he says that Allah subhanahu wa ta
'ala will do that until, subhanallah, listen to
the language, Allah will place poverty up to
the eyes of the person, meaning like they're
gonna be swimming in it.
Whatever you get, whatever you look for, whatever
you aspire to accomplish, if that is truly
what your heart desires, it's going to lead
to more difficulty, more challenges, more responsibilities, more
requirements.
But then he says, if a person makes
the akhira their concern, what psychologically happens, what
switch flips?
He says, the Prophet shallallahu alaihi wa sallam
says, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will take
away all the concerns, everything will melt away,
everything will become, we said it last week,
like a footnote, everything will just become, it
is what it is, right?
This, that, it is what it is.
The person will be able to handle things
better.
It's not that they won't have concerns, but
they'll be able to handle them better.
They'll have perspective, they'll be able to prioritize.
And he says that Allah ta'ala will
place such richness in the heart of this
person that they will never feel impoverished at
all, no matter how difficult their life might
be.
And he says that there's not a single
individual that approaches Allah with this type of
heart, except that this person, who is so
satisfied with their life, becomes beloved, not only
to Allah, but to every single person around
them.
And this is so true, this is absolutely
the case.
If a person is content in life, everybody
is happy to be around them.
But there are people, you know how they
say make, you know, if life gives you
lemons, you make lemonade.
There are people that no matter if you
give them lemonade, they're going to somehow make
lemon juice back out of it.
Like they can give you, you can give
them the sweetest of things, and they're going
to extract the most sour experience.
You guys want to go eat there?
Yeah, let's go eat.
The food comes, you're like, it's not hot.
It's not hot.
I can't eat if it's not hot.
This new thing, by the way, of it's
not hot, I can't eat if it's not
hot.
I saw this recently, I saw it a
few times actually.
I need to warm my food up.
I'm like, where?
Is there a microwave in this restaurant?
Like, where are you going to go?
Send it back.
I'm like, well, Allah, if you send it
back, I'm leaving.
Because they're going to spit in your food
and all of our food.
I'm not eating spit, okay?
You're that guy.
Like if you want, take your plate, go
and walk it back there, and eat as
much saliva from that cook as you want,
right?
The special seasoning.
But not me.
Wallahi, not me, okay?
I'm going to fast if you do that.
So these types of things, the most amazing,
best opportunity, best situation can be in front
of you, and at the smallest inconvenience, all
of a sudden now everything falls apart.
Everything crumbles, right?
This is what Allah Ta'ala will do.
The Prophet Isa told us, okay?
So what's the secret here, he said?
Is to focus.
Now, there's other things that occur.
There's other things that happen.
When a person makes the akhira, their primary
concern.
There are other signs.
You know those memes?
If I get rich, I'm not going to
tell anybody, but there will be signs.
Have you guys seen that?
There's a brother today wearing those new Crocs,
you know the puffy ones?
I said, mashallah, man, when you make money,
you're not going to tell anybody, but there's
going to be signs, right?
I was joking with him.
But it's the same concept.
When you believe that the akhira is the
primary focus, you don't have to announce it.
But there will be signs.
So the first is that the dunya will
stop weighing as heavily on you.
And it's interesting because some people are like,
well, how do I accomplish that?
It's kind of like you have to attack
it from both sides.
You have to really, really read about the
akhira.
You have to have conviction in it.
You have to yearn for it.
You have to want it.
But then on the other side, you also
just have to force yourself not to care
about the things of the dunya that you
normally care about.
The brand names, the status, the title, all
of those things.
In some way, in some shape or some
form, see how you can extract those things
from your heart.
What are the things that you do that
are indications that the dunya has a hold
on you?
Can I give you an example?
Anyone here a pharmacist?
Are there any pharmacists?
No?
Okay, yeah.
So pharmacists will laugh at the people who
go to the pharmacy and they buy the
brand name medication because right next to it
is what?
The generic one.
Is it the same exact chemicals and compounds?
Yes.
Is it the same price?
No.
It's like 70% cheaper.
But people love...
I had a person once offer me Excedrin
or the migraine relief and they said, sorry,
it's not the brand.
It's the generic one.
I said, my respect for you just tripled.
Right?
Because you're thinking not with the optics of
people.
So what are they going to think if
I offer them Tylenol or Advil?
The marketing game is so strong.
They want you to believe that if it's
not brand name, it's not going to be
as effective.
They want you to believe that if you
buy this brand over this brand, it's not
effective.
Right?
Subhanallah.
When we look at how Gaza has initiated
now this idea of divesting and boycotting brands,
and then now what are people saying?
Hey, you know that Kroger, Coke Zero?
It's called Big K?
It's pretty good.
Why did you think it wasn't good?
Because it didn't have Coca-Cola written on
it?
Is that why?
Because it looked cheaper?
You get the fancy stuff out when you
have people over.
People come, you're like, no, no, we've got
to buy the brand name stuff.
Why?
And a lot of you are kind of
sitting here in shock.
That's good.
May Allah bless you.
But some of you who have maybe a
few more reps in life, you know what
I'm talking about.
There's an entire culture of keeping up with
the Joneses.
Anyone here ever been part of a wedding
plan where people spend money that they don't
have to impress people that they don't care
about?
And then they have to pay it off.
I'm telling you, this is not a joke.
People are paying off weddings like they pay
off houses.
Why?
Because we care about how we look.
That's a sign of the dunya meaning too
much.
If the people that come to your house,
or to your wedding, or to your graduation,
or whatever, if the people that come are
more concerned about the brands that you present
them than they are about the actual meaning
of the celebration, then those people should not
have been on your list in the first
place.
Right?
Sorry, Uncle Shahryar, right?
Aunty Shagufta.
No.
I always pick on those two names.
We need to break these communal shackles of
love of dunya.
We have to.
Absolutely.
Now, does it mean that brand names inherently
are bad?
No.
If there is a certain function, if there
is a certain actual better quality that's present,
then it is what it is.
But if it's literally the same thing, and
if it has no value add in your
life, don't get caught in the blender of
marketing.
For the sake of what?
For the sake of this dunya.
You're better off buying something that is sufficient,
that is good, and taking the extra and
donating it to somebody who needs something.
May Allah Ta'ala give us Tawfiq.
So one of the signs, he says, is
that a person starts to care less about
the dunya.
The next sign, subhanAllah, and this is an
interesting one.
How many of you are on TikTok?
I do not believe a single person with
their hand down, right?
There was a chance that if more people
raise their hands that I would have believed
the group.
Now I think everyone here is a liar.
You're all on TikTok, everybody, okay?
By the way, the account that says my
name in Arabic that has like X amount
of hundred thousand, that's not me.
It's some random dude who got my picture.
And then in the bio, it's some fobby
like, life is good, I'm happy, like thing
that I would have never have written.
I would have never written that.
I saw it and the guy's crushing it.
I hope he's monetized.
Wallahi, like honestly, he's killing it, right?
He's like posting, he's like, this is me.
No, it's not you, dude.
So, life is good, I'm happy, right?
Be positive.
That's not me, I'm negative.
Okay, so, if you're on TikTok, the reason
I ask is because if you're on any
social media, you know and I know that
it has become, there's a lot of benefit,
there's a lot of khair, but there's also
a lot of just unnecessary, you know, for
lack of a better term, garbage.
And one of the areas of garbage that
I would like to focus on tonight based
on Imam Mohasabi here is the particular garbage
dumpster of the internet known as religious debates.
Oh, yeah.
You just admitted it.
None of you put your hands up, but
you all went, hmm.
We've all seen them.
We've all seen them, okay?
We've seen people that make, I don't know,
I want to say make a living, but
they definitely are not making a living.
Like, that was a joke.
That was an insult toward them.
But they make a living out of posting
videos, making refutations, and arguing religious points, and
how much of this, and this, that, and
this brother, and all this.
And raise your hand if you know what
I'm talking about.
Okay, if you don't, again, you're in a
really good place in life.
May Allah bless you.
But if you are anywhere familiar with people
who go online and try to make it
like a religious boxing match, if you're not
yet familiar, you probably will see it, come
across it, because I'm speaking about it and
your phone is listening, and so your algorithm
is going to update right now as we
speak.
But the other part of it is that
you'll probably come across it because it's become
trendy.
And Imam al-Hasni, the interesting thing is
that scholars have known about this type of
garbage for a thousand plus years.
It's not something new.
Just because the medium is different doesn't mean
that it's a new thing.
So he says, interestingly, beware.
Beware my brother and my sister, he says,
over arguing about the Qur'an and arguing
about the religion in general.
Arguing.
And it's interesting because, again, argumentation, we see
it as sort of like bad but not
terrible.
But actually scholars of Islam have said that
arguing with people over religious matters is not
like a neutral bad, it's a really critical
bad.
It's a really dangerous thing to do.
For a few reasons.
Number one, more often than not, the people
that are arguing about something don't have adequate
knowledge about the thing in general to have
an argument.
So they're arguing about something that they are
not actually like equipped to handle themselves.
They don't understand what's required.
I'll give you an example.
If you want to argue about something with
regards to Islam, whether or not it's permissible
or impermissible.
Halloween, you guys ready?
Okay.
Raise your hand if you think Halloween is
impermissible.
Raise your hand.
I'm not gonna...
Okay, raise your hand if you think it's
not a big deal.
No judgment, okay?
No judgment, right?
A little bit, but no judgment.
Okay, so...
Don't make eye contact.
So, look.
Do you know in order to have a...
Like in people, where do you do research
on this stuff?
What do you do?
You go where?
Be honest.
Google.
Very good.
Check Google.
Okay?
And you type in what?
Is Halloween haram?
Very good, right?
And that's the extent of our research.
Now, for the more senior amongst you, we
go to chat GBT and we say, provide
a concise argument with counterpoints on the permissibility
of Halloween in the Sunni Islamic tradition.
Right?
And the chat GBT, according to so and
so, this and that.
But let me tell you something.
Okay?
In order for a person to engage in
these conversations, there are prerequisites.
There are conditions.
It's like me walking into a hospital and,
you know, washing my hands and being like,
let me get in there.
They'll be like, have you done any training?
I say, no.
Are you certified?
No.
Please leave.
Like they would arrest me, right?
How did you get in here?
If I walked in with a white coat.
No, walahi.
Soaps you can buy on Amazon, right?
Kufis, right?
Facial hair is a gift and a test
from Allah.
Like these brothers can look like a sheikh
in four weeks.
And then they go to Google and type
these things in.
And you know what the dead giveaway is?
When they mispronounce things.
So instead of saying hadith, they're like, in
this hadith.
And I'm like, see that shows that you
haven't actually studied or learned.
And I'm not here to make fun of
people, walahi.
But what I am here to do is
I'm here to demonstrate just how comical the
imaginative process is of these things.
Islam is a substantive, heavy, heavy thing.
In order for anyone to say that Islam
does or does not allow something, there are
years and decades of training required.
Imam Malik, who's a very famous scholar, was
once asked a question, a hundred questions, and
he only answered like ten of them.
And the person who asked him told him
like, what's wrong?
Why can't you answer more?
And he says, هذا شيء خفيف من العلم.
He says, this is light stuff.
You should know this stuff.
He was basically trying to, not like, he
was trying to basically motivate him, like, just
give me an answer.
He traveled all the way from across North
Africa to Medina, from Morocco to Medina.
And he told him, that I came all
this way and you're telling me I don't
know, I don't know, I don't know.
He says, this is light stuff and knowledge.
Imam Malik, upon hearing that phrase, he started
to cry.
He started to cry.
And the man said, what?
And he goes, did you just say light?
And he said, didn't you hear Allah in
the Qur'an, there's a verse that says,
إِنَّا سَنُنقِي عَلَيْكَ كَوْلًا ثَقِيلًا We have revealed
upon you a speech that is heavy.
Okay?
So, Imam Muhasibi is saying that when a
person steps up to an argument and says,
well, I think this, and Islam should, you
know, it makes sense that Islam allows this,
or should allow this, or this and this
and this.
He says, what you don't understand is that
you think that you're having just a good
old time, but you're actually playing with fire.
Number one, you're gonna burn yourself.
Because you're creating expectations and assertions that are
not based in actual knowledge.
Number two, there are people around you.
And this is more prevalent now on TikTok
than ever.
I mean, I click on, wallahi, more than
the video of these people, when I see
it, more than the video, it's the comments
that make me sad.
I go to the comment section.
Like, 50% of them are just like,
flagrantly, just, I don't know, hurtful, insulting, dismissive.
The other side, yeah, they say things like
catholic.
Do you realize how serious it is?
The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, if
you call someone a catholic, it's true of
one of you.
Do you know what that means?
Tell me what that means.
So what does it mean when he says
it's true of one of you?
Yeah, if that person's a Muslim, guess who's
a kafir, buddy?
The one who accused the other one.
Accusing someone of disbelief can make you a
disbeliever, if they're a believer.
Why would you ever say that?
Abu Hanifa said, rahimahullah, I would rather accidentally
assume that 1,000 non-Muslims were Muslim,
than to accidentally call one Muslim a non
-Muslim.
He said, if I saw someone who came
in and they smelled of wine, I would
convince myself that somebody spilled it on them.
Do you understand what this means?
This means that the religion is something that
begets mercy.
And those people that are truly trained in
Islam, in Islamic legal process, in Islamic sciences,
they demonstrate more mercy than anyone that you've
ever met.
There's a story, by the way, the Prophet,
peace be upon him.
Because everybody thinks that to be Muslim and
to be learned in knowledge is to be
harsh and to be...
You know the Prophet, peace be upon him,
he absolutely had moments of sternness.
He had those with certain people in certain
times.
But his general default was that he was
very understanding, principled.
He never changed the rules.
You hear me?
He never changed rules for people.
But he was understanding.
He allowed for people to grow.
The story of Mughif and Barira.
There were two people, man and a woman
who were married.
They ended up dissolving their marriage.
And the husband wanted her back, but she
didn't want him back.
So he comes to the...
I just saw a lot of girls smile.
So then she...
She's like...
They're like queen.
Okay, relax.
Okay?
He's a human being.
Poor guy, man.
So she didn't want him back.
He wanted her back.
She didn't want him back.
So then he comes...
I'm not laughing.
We'll laugh about it.
He comes to the Prophet, peace be upon
him.
He comes to the Prophet, peace be upon
him.
And he says, Ya Rasulallah, can you please,
please go ask her if she'll take me
back.
The Prophet, peace be upon him, says, I'll
deliver your message.
Because she doesn't even want to talk to
him.
She's like, I'm moving on.
I'm done.
It's the nature of life.
So the Prophet, peace be upon him, goes
to Barira and says to her, you know,
Mughif is interested in getting back together and
remarrying.
Are you interested?
And she goes, listen to her question.
She says, is this from Allah as Wahi?
Did Allah send down an ayah to you
and now you are recommending to me to
follow that?
Or is this simply a question, a human
question?
He goes, no, it's not Wahi.
This is not from me as a Prophet.
This is me asking on behalf of him.
This is a human question.
And she says, if it's a human question,
Ya Rasulallah, I have to say, I'm not
interested.
If it were from Allah, what do you
understand from that?
If it's from Allah, I'll do it.
Allahu Akbar.
She's asking because she's like, if it's from
Allah, then I'm gonna submit.
But if it's from you, Ya Rasulallah, meaning
if it's just from, you're delivering the message,
right?
I know he's a messenger, but if you
are delivering the message from a human to
me, then I have to be honest, I'm
not interested.
Prophet, peace be upon him, goes back.
Mughif, you know, he asks, Ya Rasulallah, what
happened?
Prophet, peace be upon him, says, it's best
that you move on.
She's not interested.
I see some brothers tearing up a little
bit.
Relax.
You'll find somebody, Inshallah.
So, he starts to cry.
Mughif starts to cry.
And the Prophet, peace be upon him, he's
sitting there with Abdullah bin Abbas.
And they're watching.
And they see that Mughif chases after Barira.
His heart is broken.
And he's coming after her, and he's talking
to her, saying, please just hear me out.
Let's just talk about it.
Please.
Nobody did anything wrong, by the way.
They just weren't compatible.
Nobody did anything wrong.
He wasn't bad, she wasn't bad.
It just was what it was.
He says, please, hear me out.
She goes, look, I really don't want to
do this.
And then he literally falls on the floor,
and he grabs her ankles out of his
love and says, please just take me back.
Now, take off the hopeless romantic, you know,
wipe your eyes quickly.
Take off the hopeless romantic cap for a
second.
Alright?
Is it halal for him to touch her?
No.
It's not.
They're not married anymore.
You can't physically touch her.
Right?
And she's already demonstrated clearly that she's not
interested.
So you're not doing something that Islam would
allow.
The Prophet ﷺ is watching this.
Okay?
He's observing this.
And he looks, doesn't say anything.
He's letting it play out.
You know, these are two adults, they got
to figure it out.
He's not abusing her.
He's just, eventually he'll get it.
His heart is broken, miskeen, you know?
And he does.
He lets go, she walks away.
And he says, subhanAllah, the Prophet ﷺ says
to his companion, Ibn Abbas next to him,
he says, isn't it so interesting that how
much his heart loves her is exactly how
much her heart does not love him?
He just says, isn't it ajeeb that he
loves her so much but her heart does
not have that love for him?
And they move on.
Now, he didn't say like, you know, bring
the whip, let's lash him.
He touched her.
No, I'm being serious.
What would...
Go to the masjid.
See when kids talk in the masjid.
See when kids make noise during salah.
What happens?
Look at the anxiety that mothers and fathers
have, or siblings, or uncles and aunties have
when they bring their kids to the masjids.
And read the story of the Prophet ﷺ.
When the Prophet ﷺ lets al-Hasan wa
al-Husayn r.a climb onto his back
during prayer.
Because when we see someone making sajdah, we
see like the most beautiful form of submission.
We see like, you know, if you look
on these beautiful stock photo sites, you type
in like Muslim prayer, you'll see people like
praying.
It's like beautiful.
You know, you think about the connection.
For a kid, they see like a mountain,
a horse.
My daughter did this at dhuhr today, literally.
I was praying.
I didn't even know, subhanAllah, I thought I
left her here at Ruth's, in my office.
I said, stay here, I have to go
pray.
I go pray.
I'm in the third rakah.
All of a sudden, I'm in sajdah, and
I just feel these two arms around my
neck.
And then I get up, and she's there.
So if this happens to the imam, and
then the Prophet ﷺ, he actually extended his
sajdah.
It went very long.
Some of the companions like looked up.
They were like, to make sure that he
didn't like faint or something, because it's much,
much longer than normal.
And then after that, he finishes his prayer
ﷺ, and then he turns around and he
says, I didn't want to disturb their playtime.
That's why I extended it.
Take that scenario, and bring it to our
time.
What happens?
Take these kids out.
Get out.
We can't focus.
You not focusing is a you problem.
It's not a them problem.
Did the Prophet ﷺ say anything?
Did he make them feel?
No, because he understands.
Number one, kids are not being held accountable
for their actions.
Why do you feel like you can hold
them accountable when Allah doesn't?
Number one.
Number two, they're learning.
How are they gonna fall?
I'll never forget, there was a man in
my masjid growing up in an unnamed city,
Chicago, and he said, we were making noise,
and he told us in the back of
the masjid, he said, get out and never
come back.
And my teacher, Sheikh Ihab, one of my
teachers early on, he chased him down, like
literally a safety in football.
He chased him down in a thobe.
You guys know that thobe noise when they're
running?
You know that?
He chased him down in a thobe.
I know some of the girls are like,
running thobe is an ick, right?
Too many icks.
He chased him down, he targeted him, and
he actually told the guy, he said, go
back and apologize.
And he said, because if any of those
kids listen to you, you're gonna have serious
punishment on the Day of Judgment.
Because you told them never to come back.
You said, get out and never come back.
That's the phrase he used.
He said, if they never come back, it's
on you.
So go back and apologize for what you
said.
The point that I'm trying to make, and
what Imam Muhajir, not me, the point that
Imam Muhajir is trying to make is, if
you speak without knowledge, you're going to burn
yourself.
You're going to hurt yourself.
And then, the people around you who see
things, and the people on TikTok who are
watching, they're also going to be affected.
They're also gonna be affected.
There was a great scholar by the name
of Imam Zarnuji.
He said, this is a crazy statement.
He said, a religious looking person is more
dangerous than a sinner.
And then everyone's like, what?
He goes, a religious looking person is more
dangerous than a person who drinks.
And everyone's like, oh God.
And he said, because if the religious looking
person is an ignorant person, that's what he
said, a religious looking ignorant person is more
dangerous than a person who drinks.
He said, because the ignorance, the way they
dress, the thawb, the beard, the kufi, the
hijab, everything, it will give them a license
that people will trust them.
So if I show up on TikTok and
I'm like, assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu, right, my ayns
are good, my kha, my qaf, everything is
solid, I can start talking and people are
gonna start, Abu Musa al-Murfi, right?
People are gonna start taking my opinions.
Why?
Because if you speak with enough authority and
you have a kunya, you're good.
Kunya is the title, Abu and Um, this
and that, right?
And he said, so an ignorant performer is
more dangerous than an honest sinner because he
says, the ignorant performer is gonna convince everybody
that what they're saying is true because of
how they look, because of what they do,
right?
And so Imam al-Muhasabi is saying, think
twice before you say anything, especially arguing, especially
in debating.
Now the question comes up, okay, what do
we do if we know that something's wrong?
Like you're telling me don't argue, don't debate,
but now I'm sitting here and this person
is saying that in Islam we don't have
to really pray or in Islam this and
this.
So then what do I do?
If I'm encountering, you're telling me don't be
ignorant, but this person's saying ignorant things, like
how do I engage with that?
Well, there's a couple different ways to process
this.
Imam al-Muhasabi and others, they actually recommend.
They say number one, if you come across
ignorance and you know that it's like willing,
willful ignorance, like the person knows, okay?
Because sometimes people don't know and so you
take them, pull them aside, you correct them,
okay?
If it's one of those things where they
actually do know what they are doing is
wrong, then he said, you need to make
sure that you correct them in a way
that does not damage them.
If you look at debating and arguing, it's
actually the opposite.
We want to make sure that we get
a piece of them too.
It's not that we're trying to prove you
wrong, we're trying to make everyone know that
you're an idiot.
Sorry, kids are here.
That you are silly, okay?
We want everyone to know just how foolish
you are, right?
It's not about the points anymore.
I'm trying to actually delegitimize you as a
person.
That's why in arguments, what ends up happening?
The first back and forth is about the
point and the next three, four, five is
about what?
Each other, right?
Whenever you argue with somebody, you start initially
in earnest.
No, I don't agree.
Yeah, you're always like this.
Yeah, you would think this.
You're ignorant.
You don't know anything.
Now, we don't even know what we're talking
about.
If someone jumped into the conversation five minutes
in, they don't even know what the argument's
about.
All they know is that this person is
that, this person can't read, this person can't
listen, this person, and it goes back and
forth.
So Imam Muhasabi says, in order to keep
yourself sincere, in order to keep yourself real,
whenever you do engage something that you know
is wrong, okay, and even with the worst
of people, if Sayyidina Musa Alayhi Salaam had
to do this with Firaun, you know, Allah
told Musa Alayhi Salaam, when you go to
Firaun, go to him with a gentle speech.
Can you imagine?
The pharaoh.
Prophet Musa is being told, go to the
pharaoh with what?
Qawlin layyinin.
Like go to him with a gentle speech,
soft speech.
Then when we engage with the most ignorant
of people, we're not better than Musa.
And that person is not worse than Firaun.
It is what it is.
We're not better than Musa Alayhi Salaam, and
that person you're arguing is not worse than
Firaun.
So, the rules still apply.
Go there with a tongue that is soft
so as it doesn't destroy or hurt the
work that you're trying to do.
You know, you meet someone who is a
staunch Zionist, a staunch Islamophobe, a staunch this,
a staunch that.
Ask yourself, it's not about me winning the
ego battle.
It's about me winning this person's heart.
How can I win them over?
How can I actually get them to agree
at least partially with what I'm saying?
And sometimes, it might be that you have
to completely change your approach.
It might be that you have to do
this.
So Imam al-Hasibi says, don't dispute in
religion and don't argue with one another.
And then he continues, and he says, if
you are able to do this and you're
able to speak to people gently and to
give them that grace, you'll see that eventually
they'll come back.
But if they continue in their ignorance, then
he quotes the verse from the Quran where
Allah Ta'ala says, وَإِذَا خَاتَبَهُمُ الْجَاهِدُونَ قَالُوا
صَلَامًا And when they speak with people that
are purely ignorant, then their response to that
ignorance after trying and failing and trying and
failing and trying and failing, their response eventually
is what?
Salam.
Salam.
At some point, it's not worth it.
Your blood pressure, your anxiety, your sleepless nights,
your googling and scrolling, your comment reading, your
this and this and this, wallahi, it's not
worth it.
Allah is telling us this.
If you engage with a person that is
a brick wall of stupidity, your job is
to not match them in their stupidity.
Your job is to do your best.
Once you've done your best, salam.
Salam.
The Prophet ﷺ, he tried.
Abu Lahab, Abu Jahl, all of these people.
Think about this by the way.
Abu Lahab, Abu Jahl, all of these individuals,
and Abu Sufyan, they were friends.
They were tribal leaders.
He did the same things with each of
them.
One of them accepted, the other two didn't.
One of them eventually became Muslim.
It worked with one.
But the other ones, the Prophet ﷺ said,
لَكُمْ دِينَكُمْ وَلِيَ دِينٍ At some point, you
have to maintain your own dignity and confidence
and saying, look, I'm not bending, you're not
bending.
لَكُمْ دِينَكُمْ وَلِيَ دِينٍ To you is your
religion and to me is mine.
Right?
And we'll see.
You know, you don't have to be dramatic,
but we'll see.
Right?
What the truth holds.
Okay?
So he says, when you engage with this,
make sure that you tell them, salam.
Then he says, always make sure the person
who believes in the afterlife, they never lose
their etiquette.
The afterlife is the greatest motivator to be
a person of good character.
Think about it, guys.
There are so many reasons, wallahi, that you
can treat people so poorly.
And you would absolutely be justified.
You know, if somebody did something to you,
you absolutely could make the case that you
could do something back to them.
Right?
An eye for an eye.
But Imam Hasbi says, that's the dunya we
construct.
That's the person that only thinks about this
life.
But the person who believes in مَالِكِ يَوْمِ
الدِّينِ That there is a day when I'm
gonna behave now and I'm gonna do what
Allah told me to do now.
Because I'm submitting to Him and not to
myself now.
But there is a day when I know
and I trust that if you don't repent,
if you don't fix what you did, that
Allah will hold you accountable.
And that justice is enough for me.
So he says, do not give people that
are foolish and ignorant and damaging the satisfaction
of changing your character.
You know the bully, subhanallah, they did studies
on like the psychology of bullies.
When you have kids, you really start to
read this stuff.
Number one, because you don't want your kid
to be bullied.
Number two, because you don't want them to
become the bully.
Right?
Like sometimes your kid comes home and they're
like, yeah, we made fun of this kid.
And I'm like, what?
Not my kid, alhamdulillah.
But you see this sometimes.
Like, oh yeah, we laughed at this kid.
And it's like, what?
It's the worst nightmare.
That your kid becomes the one that's hurting
others.
So you read these things.
And they found that bullies, when they asked
them, this is all like these studies they
did.
They interviewed them, whatever, these kids.
And they said, the bullies basically would come
to school every day and they would pick
like a different thing.
There was no consistency in their bullying.
It was just what?
They wanted to what?
Rattle the person.
That's all they wanted.
Too many of you are nodding.
You're bullies, for sure.
Everyone's like, mm-hmm, nailed it.
They just picked something new every day.
They made up the names.
All they wanted to do was what?
Change the character of the victim.
They wanted to see if they could get
under their skin.
That was it.
The Prophet ﷺ.
What did they try to do to him?
Huh, you're a poet, huh?
You're pretty good at this stuff.
You're good with words.
It didn't work.
Prophet ﷺ was like, no, I'm actually not
a poet.
Right?
Oh, okay.
So you're a magician.
You're able to do these tricks and people
believe you.
Prophet ﷺ was like, I'm not a magician
either.
Oh, you're a soothsayer.
You can tell the future.
Prophecies.
Interesting.
You work with the other world.
Black magic, huh?
He goes, no, none of that either.
Just rock solid.
But you know what's crazy, subhanAllah, is that
the Qur'an tells us that he was
hurt by what they said.
So you maintaining your character doesn't mean that
you don't feel it.
It doesn't mean.
You know what's interesting?
In Surah Al-Qalam, ironic, I know.
In Surah Al-Qalam, Allah ﷻ says, مَا
أَنْتَ بِنِعْمَةِ رَبِّكَ بِمَجْنُونَ Allah tells him that
I swear by the favor of your Lord,
you are not crazy.
Why would Allah tell him that?
Because he was called crazy enough times.
He was called crazy enough times to where
he believed.
Not believed, but he was hurt.
That these people really think I'm crazy?
Is what I'm saying that crazy?
You know when you're saying the truth over
and over again and you're engaging with ignorance
over and over again?
It's not that you doubt the truth, but
you wonder for a second like, is it
me?
Like what am I doing?
And so Allah memorializes this verse in the
Qur'an for eternity.
مَا أَنْتَ بِنِعْمَةِ رَبِّكَ بِمَجْنُونَ Right?
And another verse, فَلَعَلَّكَ بَاخِعُ النَّفْسَكَ عَلَىٰ آثَارِهِمْ
إِلَّمْ يُؤْمِنُوا بِهَٰذَا الْحَدِيثِ أَسَفَةً Allah actually says
this phrase, and he's not being literal, so
there's a little trigger warning here for suicide.
He's not being literal, but he says, are
you going to kill yourself?
Because these people aren't listening to you?
Is that what you're feeling?
Because they're not listening to you?
How many times have you posted and shared
and said the same thing about these war
crimes and genocide over and over again?
How many times?
Are you actually going to kill yourself because
these people aren't listening to you?
No.
What Shaytan and his good friend, the IDF,
want to accomplish is they want you to
change your character.
They want you to change who you are.
They want you to feel like it's a
never-ending loss.
That's why Imam al-Muhasabi says, when you
are engaging in this type of interaction with
somebody, the last thing you can let go
is your character.
You'd rather give up and concede the argument.
I don't want to argue anymore because I'm
feeling myself lose who I am.
You start to call someone names.
No, that's the time where you back out
before you get to that point.
He says, make sure that you adhere to
proper etiquette.
Make sure that you keep close to that.
We'll stop here, inshallah.
There's more signs that he has.
We'll go through the rest of them, inshallah,
next week.
We do have the Q&A open, so
I'm going to go through some questions, inshallah,
for about five minutes, and we'll break for
Isha, inshallah.
First question.
Wow, that's crazy.
How do you cope when you lose someone
you thought you had a future with?
Heartbreak.
So, I'm going to answer this and then
we're going to move quickly, okay?
So, you need to remember that when it
comes to anything that you plan to have,
all of our plans, every single plan that
we make is up to the discretion of
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
That's it.
And when you make dua to Allah to
give you what's best, what you're saying to
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is what?
You're saying, Oh Allah, give me what's best.
And that request has an element of trust
in it.
It's like a bungee jump, right?
You're like, Oh Allah, I'm giving you what
I want.
Make it, you know, give me what's best.
At some point, you have to be able
to say, I'll let go.
So, if something did not work out that
you were hoping to have worked out, of
course, it's difficult.
Of course, it's challenging.
You know, Maurice Mberira is an example.
The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was empathetic.
But at the same time, you need to
give yourself time to grieve and time to
process, but you need to also give yourself
a timeline to move on.
Right?
You're allowed to feel sad.
You're allowed to stay in a couple nights.
You're allowed to have some ice cream for
dinner.
You're allowed to do those things.
Okay?
But if it's been like six months, we
got to figure something out.
We got to get some vegetables back in
your diet.
We got to get you out with the
homies again.
You know, we have to, like, there has
to be a process.
Otherwise, at that point, you're just indulging the
grief.
Right?
You're indulging it.
Okay?
May Allah ta'ala make it easy.
Does everyone who commits suicide actually go to
Jahannam?
They are just hurting a lot mentally.
So why would they be punished after death?
This is a great question.
So based off of conversations I've had with
my teacher, Shabnassar, many, many conversations, the act
of suicide actually falls into a couple different
categories.
In Fiqh, in Islamic law, there is a
category of an individual which would...
I'm going to say this very carefully.
So I want everyone to listen very carefully.
And don't ever misquote me here.
Okay?
There is something called a'athur or ma
'athur, status of being ma'athur, which means
that if a person is in a state
of acute insanity, that's the way that they
would put it, that that person, the pen
is lifted from them in whatever they have
done in that moment.
Okay?
Acute insanity, meaning that they don't know actually
what they're doing.
Okay?
So that's one side of the spectrum.
Then there's the other side of the spectrum,
which is a person is fully aware of
what they're doing.
Okay?
Now, there is a lot of space in
between those two points.
Okay?
There's a lot of space in between those
two points.
It's not a binary.
It's not like I'm either insane or I'm
not.
There's a lot of space.
There's people that have depressive episodes.
People have manic episodes.
Right?
There's that bipolarity there.
These are all experiences that happen.
So commenting on a general case of suicide
is not what we're going to do here
because it's case by case.
There is one type of suicide that we
absolutely, without a doubt, understand and know.
Suicide, by the way, is haram.
Taking one's life is impermissible.
One cannot do it.
It is a sin.
Okay?
There is one type of suicide that is
particularly mentioned in the hadith.
And that suicide is referencing the killing of
oneself for the sake of what we would
call in our day and age like shock
and awe, like honor, becoming a legend.
Okay?
Wanting people to talk about it.
Do you understand?
So taking one's life for the sake of
I want people to talk about me.
Okay?
Now I know for many of us in
this room we're like why would that ever
be a motive?
But this is the nature of these actions
sometimes.
So in the time of the Prophet ﷺ
this would happen in the battlefield is that
people would actually go out there and they
would actually take their own life in some
instances in order to increase their legend because
they wanted people to talk about how brave
they were and they died in battle, etc.,
etc.
So this is why the hadith says that
for those who do that they will be
doing the same act of suicide to themselves
over and over and over again in Jahannam.
That's a specific type.
Okay?
So if a person is doing it with
that intention then may Allah Ta'ala protect
us all.
But if a person is doing it and
they are unaware of the impacts or if
they truly believe that the world is better
without them, etc.
There's a lot of conversations then our understanding
of this is that Allah will handle them
with His mercy and His justice and we
still pray janazah on them by the way.
The four traditional schools of thought say that
a janazah should be prayed on somebody who
takes their own life.
This is a newer thing that kind of
circulates but absolutely they should have janazah being
prayed on them.
And then we ask Allah Ta'ala to
give them His mercy if they were in
a state where their mind was not thinking
clearly.
So it's not as clearly put or as
black and white as one may have heard.
Okay?
Okay, but is Halloween haram or not?
Ah!
October roots gets a little funky.
Okay?
Look, I'll be real with you and then
we'll break on this.
I think if you're like a six-year
-old kid and you just want to go
ring your neighbor's doorbell and get chocolate you
know, without costumes and you want to do
it like at 3 p.m. before it
turns into like a weird thing I'm not
going to do it but I also won't
make you feel bad for doing it.
But look, if you're like 27 and you're
like looking at costumes right now we got
to talk.
Not me, but your friends have to talk
to you, right?
And get you out of that.
It's weird.
It's weird.
It's getting weirder and weirder.
I would just personally recommend I'm not going
to give a harkam here because I'm not
a mufti or a sheikh or I'm not
giving any sort of fatwa.
Just don't do it.
Like, I don't know.
Just don't do it, right?
Just stay away from that stuff.
It's a Thursday night.
Order some food.
Hang out with friends.
Play Uno.
Like, do something else.
But there's no reason for you to go
and to do like, you know, bobbing for
apples and like, you know, oh, gummy worms
and jello.
Ah, they're real.
Like, come on, you're too old for this
stuff now and this is, it's way beyond
that, okay?
If you have a five-year-old who's
like, I want Snickers, then go to your
neighbor's house and ring the doorbell and get
a Snickers.
But if you are an adult, then have
some shame, right?
Okay, so, may Allah ta'ala protect us.
I mean, not to mention all the weird
stuff that's associated with it that I don't
want to talk about.
So, inshallah.
Yes, quick.
Oh, it was, okay.
We have one minute.
So I'm going to ask you to hold,
inshallah.
Because I don't want to make people late
for prayer, inshallah.
Okay?
JazakAllah khairan.
If you guys can help me with the
backjacks by helping load them, or by lining
them up in the chairs by helping load
them, inshallah.
I'm going to head to the prayer as
well, to isha as well, because I don't
want to be late and none of us
should be late for isha, inshallah.
So head on over to the masalah.
JazakAllah khairan.
Wassalamu'alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.