AbdelRahman Murphy – Heartwork Guided Steps To The Path Of Allah #17

AbdelRahman Murphy
AI: Summary ©
The speakers emphasize the importance of gratitude and mindfulness in life, as it is crucial for growth and health. They stress the difficulty of losing faith in praying and finding one's own happiness, as it is difficult to achieve them. The importance of praying and finding one's own happiness is emphasized, along with visiting burials and finding one's own happiness, as it is crucial for personal growth and personal development. The speakers also emphasize the importance of flexibility and minimal interactions in relationships, as well as finding a partner and purposeful communication to avoid false expectations and mistakes.
AI: Transcript ©
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Ready?

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Okay.

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As-salamu alaykum.

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Bismillah.

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Bismillah walhamdulillah wa salatu wassalamu ala rasulillah.

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Wa ala alihi wa ashabihi ajma'in.

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Welcome home everybody.

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It's good to see you.

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Alhamdulillah.

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Welcome back.

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For those of you who are regulars, welcome

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back.

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For those of you it's your first time,

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welcome, welcome.

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Alhamdulillah.

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Including this chair that I'm sitting on.

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First time.

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Alhamdulillah.

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Just praying it's not going to break, inshallah.

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Alhamdulillah.

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We are...

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So tonight's session is, I would say, a

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little bit more heavy than some of the

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other sessions.

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They've all been obviously very substantial and substantive.

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But tonight he's going to be speaking about

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topics that are a little bit more heavy.

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One of that being death.

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And I think a lot of times when

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we frame the conversations around death, we frame

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them in a way that's maybe demoralizing or

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maybe it can be heavy without any sort

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of purpose.

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But this is heavy in the same way

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that a person lifts weights.

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And the heaviness of lifting weights ultimately has

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benefit, has tangible benefit.

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And so he's going to provide us this

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conversation, inshallah.

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I'm just letting you know now, just so

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everyone can prepare themselves.

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I know that maybe some people in here

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are experiencing in their own life the loss

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of a loved one or the loss of

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loved ones maybe more closely than others.

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And so just wanted to prepare you for

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that, inshallah.

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But it's going to be, inshallah, a good

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conversation.

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It's a motivational conversation.

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And when you look at the conversations about

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death, you find that in the Qur'an

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and the hadith and the words of the

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scholars, they always frame it in a motivational

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way.

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Meaning to use the reminder of death in

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order to remind somebody to do what they

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can, inshallah, to make the most of their

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life.

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But before we get there, we're going to

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continue, inshallah, with this section that we ended

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on.

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So we concluded last week with this section

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on how he was giving the imperative of

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being a thankful person.

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Yeah.

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What's up?

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Okay.

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Do you have the license plate?

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Yeah.

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Do you have the license plate number or

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no?

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Yeah.

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No, this is important.

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This is a big deal for us.

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Prius 6225B50.

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We've officially become a Muslim organization.

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I'm just so proud and honored that we

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had a parking lot announcement.

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I feel like we just reached Islamic organization

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puberty.

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Like we just have a major milestone, right?

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We're now an adult Islamic organization.

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So that's your Prius.

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She's just looking out for you so that

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you don't drain your battery, inshallah.

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So if that's yours, get up.

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Not now because then we'll know it's you.

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Wait for 30 seconds.

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Look at the coffee shop.

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Walk over there.

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Walk back.

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And then when you leave, we'll know that,

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you know, maybe it wasn't you.

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Okay?

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All right.

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Jazakallah khairan, Iman.

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Appreciate it.

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So we ended last week reading the section

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on the importance of giving thanks and how

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it's easy for a person to be thankful.

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Well, I take that back.

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Let's reframe this whole conversation.

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We have times where it's easier for us

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to be thankful and we have times where

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it's challenging for us to be thankful.

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It's not always easy to be thankful when

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times are good.

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Sometimes when Allah Ta'ala provides us with

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moments of blessing, we become forgetful.

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So it is easy to be thankful in

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times of good, but it's also easy for

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a person to neglect that gratitude and that

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thankfulness to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.

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So I don't want to assume that it's

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just easy for all of us because I

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know that it's challenging.

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But at the same time, it's also difficult

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to be thankful in some moments that are

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challenging, that are difficult.

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It's hard to find the silver lining and

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to be somebody that can identify, you know,

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the good in the bad, right?

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The good in the moments of difficulty.

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And so he began this section by saying,

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the Arabic verb is wa'idhim, wa'idhim

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shukraka, that be consistent and be constant in

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your gratitude.

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And this is not to say by any

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stretch or any means that you don't have

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any moments in your life that are difficult.

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In fact, if a person didn't have any

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difficult moments, then gratitude would be a lot

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more challenging.

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It's the difficult moments that makes gratitude more

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meaningful, more sweet.

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When a person is grateful for the things

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that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has given

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them, they're constantly referring back to the times

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that they were challenged and tested.

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When Allah relieves somebody from a difficulty, right?

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When somebody is thirsty and they have a

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sip of water, when someone's hungry and they

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have a bite of food, right?

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All of these are moments in which Allah

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has relieved the distress of somebody.

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And in that relief, you find gratitude, okay?

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So he says, wa'idhim shukraka, be a

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person that is consistent in your gratitude.

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This is one of the paths of spirituality.

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A lot of times we think spirituality is

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limited to certain things, but if we look

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at it holistically, we find that if we

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make these small shifts in our worldview, how

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we see things, and now you'll find on

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Instagram, right, the influencer culture, they're talking about

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mindfulness and gratitude and being present.

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And I have to say it in this

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voice.

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This is my mocking voice, right?

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And the reality is that the Prophet, peace

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be upon him, taught us this 1,400

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years ago.

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The scholars mentioned this as being a necessary

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practice for a healthy heart over 1,000

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years ago.

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And right now is when the Western world

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is discovering the importance of mindfulness and the

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importance of gratitude, you know, and the importance

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of being a person with a positive mindset,

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a growth mindset.

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These are all things.

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You know what growth mindset is in Islam?

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We've been saying it since we were kids,

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inshallah.

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Inshallah is growth mindset.

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Inshallah is the idea that I hope to,

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I aspire to do this if Allah gives

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me the ability, right?

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And you're removing all of the onus and

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all the responsibility from yourself, you know.

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And, you know, on Monday, last Monday, my

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son was having a lot of trouble memorizing

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Quran.

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And he kept talking, you know, calling himself

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like really, you know, I'm dumb, I'm this,

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I'm that.

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He's being really harsh to himself.

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So my wife, when I actually was right

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before heart work, so I was trying to

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like calm him down.

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And he's a big kid.

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He's actually as tall as my wife.

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It's not a joke.

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He's seven.

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And he's as tall as my wife who's

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35.

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Actually, can I tell you a funny story?

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So I bought him shoes, and I wanted

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to buy all of us the same pair

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of shoes as a family.

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I know I'm adorable.

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And I wanted to buy all of us

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the same pair of shoes.

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So I got myself, my daughter Iman, my

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son Musa.

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And then I couldn't find my wife's size.

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So then I was like, oh, hold up.

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My wife and my son wear the same

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size shoes.

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Like maybe half a size off.

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So then I just went, and Alhamdulillah, it

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was like half off than the adult version,

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right?

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So if I were to find like the

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women's version of this basketball, it's a basketball

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shoe.

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If I were to find the women's version

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of this, I'm paying crazy money.

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But now for the rest of her life,

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Mehreen's going to have to buy children's shoes.

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Because I just unlocked this crazy savings, right?

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Alhamdulillah.

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But so he was having a tough time,

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and he was basically being down on himself.

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So my wife, Mashallah, she's a genius.

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She was like, look, let's talk about this

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growth mindset.

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And she discussed this with him.

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And part of growth mindset, which really unlocked

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a lot of his anxiety, and it really

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took away a lot of his self-deprecation,

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that a lot of us might feel, was

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gratitude.

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Being grateful for what you have.

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And being grateful for even the things that

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you don't have.

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Because for one thing you don't have, Allah

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has given you millions of other things.

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And how callous is it?

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How hurtful?

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How rude?

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Imagine that you made an entire dinner for

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somebody.

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And you spent all day cooking it, preparing

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it.

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And you made so many different things.

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And you're so excited, and they come and

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they say, Oh, you don't have soup?

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And they pointed out the one thing that

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you didn't make.

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Like how offensive would that be?

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And now translate that example, وَلِلَّهِ الْمَثَلُ عَلَىٰ

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Allah's example is infinitely great.

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Think about how we do that with Allah.

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Allah gives us A through Z.

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And we show up and we're like, where's

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the apostrophe?

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We get upset about the smallest thing.

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Instead of realizing that we are overwhelmed with

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blessings.

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So being grateful is one of the keys

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of this success.

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Now, what's one of the things that makes

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gratitude easier?

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This is the next section that he goes

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into.

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There's a practice that is very, very helpful

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and very healthy.

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Optimism.

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The practice of being optimistic.

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In Arabic sometimes they call it like, حُسْنَ

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ذَنْبِاللَّهِ Or رَجَاء, hope.

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Or having good expectations from Allah subhanahu wa

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ta'ala.

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This is actually, by the way, a good,

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good thing to be.

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A good person has optimism.

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But optimism has a really, really ugly cousin.

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Don't think about your ugly cousin right now.

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It's not nice.

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Optimism has a very ugly cousin.

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And that ugly cousin is called طول الأمل

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طول الأمل, in Arabic the translation is unrealistic

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or lofty, lofty expectations.

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Like the person effectively is what?

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Is hoping for, hope is not bad.

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But hoping for and expecting things without the

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preconditions that are required.

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Which is first and foremost, of course, believing,

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having good intention, believing that everything is from

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Allah.

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That's number one.

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Number two, putting forth the effort yourself.

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Many of us have aspirations or hopes, but

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we don't put forth the effort.

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And then when we don't realize the hopes

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that we have, we get upset.

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But who's to blame?

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Who's to blame if we hope for something

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and then don't put any work in?

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It's not Allah.

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And this is something that I want to

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be very, very intentional about saying tonight.

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Many of our generation, okay, you know, mid

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-twenties, early thirties, and so we have this

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really, really horrific habit of blaming Allah for

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our problems.

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Like, oh, Allah didn't give me this.

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It's like you woke up at 11 a

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.m. What do you mean He didn't give

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you this, right?

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The reality is that Allah gave you all

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of the toolbox that you needed to accomplish

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something, but then that's not enough.

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You know, it's the equivalent of us opening

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the fridge and saying there's nothing to eat.

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What do you mean?

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There's all the ingredients necessary, just put it

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together.

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But when we say there's nothing to eat,

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what we're actually saying is I'm too lazy

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to put together all these things to eat

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something, right?

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So tul al-amal is when a person

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has those expectations, they project it onto Allah,

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they don't put forth the effort themselves, and

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then they come to a point of desperation

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or a point of disappointment in realizing or

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in feeling this distance and saying, you know

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what, Allah didn't give me this.

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That's called tul al-amal.

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Now, if a person struggles with lofty expectations,

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it's almost impossible for them to be grateful.

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So that's why He puts these two things

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together.

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He said, be grateful as much as you

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can.

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Force yourself into a state of gratitude.

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Find the lemonade amongst the lemons.

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Be that person that will always...

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And again, you know, you have to be

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smart about this.

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You don't want to necessarily even...

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This isn't about you being the positive person

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in the group.

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Because sometimes your timeline and other people's timelines

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are not the same.

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If somebody is going through it and processing,

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that's not the time for you to be

00:12:56 --> 00:12:59

like, well, I went to this lecture, and

00:12:59 --> 00:13:00

I know that you're sad, but you need

00:13:00 --> 00:13:02

to find positivity right now.

00:13:03 --> 00:13:05

That person is like, leave me alone, you

00:13:05 --> 00:13:05

know.

00:13:06 --> 00:13:08

It's not about putting it on other people,

00:13:08 --> 00:13:08

it's about what?

00:13:08 --> 00:13:10

Being grateful yourself.

00:13:11 --> 00:13:12

You can only control yourself.

00:13:13 --> 00:13:16

So He couples that conversation, that topic, that

00:13:16 --> 00:13:19

subject in His text He couples it with,

00:13:19 --> 00:13:22

you can only be grateful if you don't

00:13:22 --> 00:13:26

have unrealistic and lofty expectations that you do

00:13:26 --> 00:13:28

not work hard for.

00:13:29 --> 00:13:29

Okay?

00:13:30 --> 00:13:34

So He says, and He continues here, one

00:13:34 --> 00:13:36

of the expectations that we have, and this

00:13:36 --> 00:13:37

is an important one, He says, do not

00:13:37 --> 00:13:38

expect to live a long time.

00:13:40 --> 00:13:44

Everyone in this room right now has visions

00:13:44 --> 00:13:45

of their future.

00:13:46 --> 00:13:48

They have ideas and hopes and dreams of

00:13:48 --> 00:13:49

what they want to become.

00:13:50 --> 00:13:52

What they want to accomplish.

00:13:53 --> 00:13:56

When it comes to their personal aspirations, their

00:13:56 --> 00:14:01

family, their professional aspirations, the religious aspirations, all

00:14:01 --> 00:14:02

of these things.

00:14:03 --> 00:14:06

Now, what happens is, when we become too

00:14:06 --> 00:14:10

accustomed to this, we actually start to give

00:14:10 --> 00:14:15

ourselves an uncomfortable concession of time.

00:14:15 --> 00:14:15

We say, you know what?

00:14:15 --> 00:14:16

I can always do it later.

00:14:17 --> 00:14:19

I can always do it at this point.

00:14:19 --> 00:14:21

I can always finish it when the time

00:14:21 --> 00:14:21

comes.

00:14:22 --> 00:14:24

But the scholars always say what?

00:14:24 --> 00:14:27

That don't ever put off until tomorrow what

00:14:27 --> 00:14:28

you can do today.

00:14:28 --> 00:14:31

Don't ever put off what you have the

00:14:31 --> 00:14:33

ability to accomplish right now.

00:14:33 --> 00:14:35

Don't put it off till later because you're

00:14:35 --> 00:14:37

not sure that Allah will ever give you

00:14:37 --> 00:14:39

the ability to do that thing.

00:14:41 --> 00:14:43

And many of us ask the question, why

00:14:43 --> 00:14:44

do bad things happen?

00:14:44 --> 00:14:45

Why do we get sick?

00:14:45 --> 00:14:46

Why do we get injured?

00:14:47 --> 00:14:48

Why do these tests happen?

00:14:49 --> 00:14:51

And one of my teachers, he said to

00:14:51 --> 00:14:54

me, this is actually right after I tore

00:14:54 --> 00:14:55

my ACL the first time.

00:14:55 --> 00:14:57

I tore my left ACL like 10 years

00:14:57 --> 00:14:58

ago.

00:14:59 --> 00:15:01

He said to me, and this is probably,

00:15:02 --> 00:15:03

you remember I talked about not being too

00:15:03 --> 00:15:04

quick with it?

00:15:04 --> 00:15:05

He was too quick with it for sure.

00:15:06 --> 00:15:08

So when you tear your ACL, when you

00:15:08 --> 00:15:09

have a knee injury or a back injury,

00:15:10 --> 00:15:12

one of the things that you can't do

00:15:12 --> 00:15:14

is you can't pray normally.

00:15:14 --> 00:15:17

You have to pray in a chair, okay?

00:15:18 --> 00:15:20

And for anyone here who's ever done that,

00:15:21 --> 00:15:23

after being able to pray normally for the

00:15:23 --> 00:15:25

majority of your life, it's a really, really

00:15:25 --> 00:15:26

weird feeling.

00:15:27 --> 00:15:31

You almost feel like, you're like, this isn't

00:15:31 --> 00:15:34

really hitting me as hard as it is.

00:15:34 --> 00:15:36

And subhanAllah, it was during the month of

00:15:36 --> 00:15:36

Ramadan.

00:15:37 --> 00:15:39

And so, you know, during Taraweeh, I'm sitting

00:15:39 --> 00:15:42

there and it's like all of these healthy

00:15:42 --> 00:15:44

people with two ACLs.

00:15:45 --> 00:15:46

You just see the world in ACLs at

00:15:46 --> 00:15:47

some point.

00:15:47 --> 00:15:47

You're like, wow.

00:15:49 --> 00:15:49

MashaAllah.

00:15:49 --> 00:15:50

May Allah protect them.

00:15:52 --> 00:15:55

And I'm looking at this audience, this jama

00:15:55 --> 00:15:58

'a, this congregation, and then it's just me

00:15:58 --> 00:16:00

in a chair with like four uncles who

00:16:00 --> 00:16:00

are asleep.

00:16:02 --> 00:16:04

And I'm sitting here and I'm like, man.

00:16:05 --> 00:16:07

And subhanAllah, there actually came a moment.

00:16:07 --> 00:16:09

I'm not even exaggerating.

00:16:09 --> 00:16:10

I'm just being open and vulnerable.

00:16:11 --> 00:16:12

There was a moment where I was crying

00:16:12 --> 00:16:14

because I missed sajda.

00:16:15 --> 00:16:18

Like it just felt so weird finishing prayer

00:16:18 --> 00:16:21

and being like, assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

00:16:21 --> 00:16:22

And your head didn't touch the ground.

00:16:24 --> 00:16:25

You know, it's my favorite place to make

00:16:25 --> 00:16:25

du'a.

00:16:25 --> 00:16:27

Whenever I feel like my du'a can't

00:16:27 --> 00:16:28

focus, I just go into sajda.

00:16:29 --> 00:16:31

I take away all the distractions, my face

00:16:31 --> 00:16:31

is on the ground.

00:16:32 --> 00:16:34

Hadith says it's when you're closest to Allah.

00:16:35 --> 00:16:36

So I put myself, and for a year

00:16:36 --> 00:16:37

I couldn't do that.

00:16:37 --> 00:16:39

Well, I could, but then I wouldn't be

00:16:39 --> 00:16:40

able to get back up without like a

00:16:40 --> 00:16:40

lot of people helping me.

00:16:41 --> 00:16:43

And that's not practical, right?

00:16:43 --> 00:16:47

So in that moment, I remember making du

00:16:47 --> 00:16:48

'a to Allah.

00:16:49 --> 00:16:53

I remember being like, oh Allah, please just

00:16:53 --> 00:16:55

give me back my sajda.

00:16:55 --> 00:16:57

I don't even want to play basketball anymore.

00:16:58 --> 00:17:01

I don't want to do anything that...

00:17:01 --> 00:17:04

I have no aspirations for anything that is

00:17:04 --> 00:17:05

the cause of my injury.

00:17:05 --> 00:17:06

I just want to go back to praying.

00:17:07 --> 00:17:08

You know, then you fast forward.

00:17:09 --> 00:17:10

And I remember that du'a was very

00:17:10 --> 00:17:11

sincere by the way.

00:17:11 --> 00:17:13

I wasn't making it like in public.

00:17:14 --> 00:17:15

It was just I was really really sad.

00:17:16 --> 00:17:19

And my teacher said that sometimes Allah does

00:17:19 --> 00:17:22

these things, He takes away certain abilities so

00:17:22 --> 00:17:22

that you can miss them.

00:17:23 --> 00:17:26

And in missing them, you realize how valuable

00:17:26 --> 00:17:26

they are.

00:17:27 --> 00:17:28

And that was true.

00:17:29 --> 00:17:30

But we're human, so what happens?

00:17:31 --> 00:17:32

You do the rehab, you do the physical

00:17:32 --> 00:17:35

therapy, you get back, you're praying normally, and

00:17:35 --> 00:17:37

then you start to miss your prayers.

00:17:38 --> 00:17:40

And the very same behavior that you were

00:17:40 --> 00:17:43

like really heartbroken about, you went from longing

00:17:43 --> 00:17:46

for it, like you long for like a

00:17:46 --> 00:17:50

sweet dessert, and now you see it as,

00:17:50 --> 00:17:51

because what?

00:17:51 --> 00:17:53

Your life got busy again, you see it

00:17:53 --> 00:17:53

as a burden.

00:17:54 --> 00:17:57

And this is the nature again of human

00:17:57 --> 00:17:57

beings.

00:17:58 --> 00:18:01

Now, why do we see these things turn

00:18:01 --> 00:18:02

into like burdens and difficult moments?

00:18:02 --> 00:18:04

It's because we have lofty expectations.

00:18:05 --> 00:18:07

I think that I'm gonna be able to

00:18:07 --> 00:18:07

make it.

00:18:08 --> 00:18:09

I think that I'm gonna pray later.

00:18:10 --> 00:18:11

But this is why when the Prophet shallallahu

00:18:11 --> 00:18:13

alaihi wasallam would stand up and lead the

00:18:13 --> 00:18:14

jama'ah, he would actually say what?

00:18:14 --> 00:18:19

He would say, pray this prayer as if

00:18:19 --> 00:18:21

it's your last one.

00:18:21 --> 00:18:22

And I know that it sounds like a

00:18:22 --> 00:18:23

cliche thing.

00:18:24 --> 00:18:25

You know, pray this prayer as if it's

00:18:25 --> 00:18:25

your last.

00:18:25 --> 00:18:28

And some guys like, come on man, don't

00:18:28 --> 00:18:28

be so dramatic.

00:18:29 --> 00:18:32

But subhanallah, for some people like, when they

00:18:32 --> 00:18:33

pray that was their last prayer.

00:18:33 --> 00:18:34

They didn't know when it was.

00:18:35 --> 00:18:39

And it's not about you imagining during that

00:18:39 --> 00:18:40

salah your untimely death.

00:18:41 --> 00:18:42

That's not what it's about.

00:18:42 --> 00:18:45

It's about you understanding that if I give

00:18:45 --> 00:18:48

this prayer my focus, I'm not gonna have

00:18:48 --> 00:18:49

any regrets when I finish it.

00:18:50 --> 00:18:52

I'm not gonna forget which rakah I'm in.

00:18:53 --> 00:18:54

Do I have wudu or not?

00:18:54 --> 00:18:55

You know, some of us spend the first

00:18:55 --> 00:18:57

three rakahs trying to remember if we have

00:18:57 --> 00:18:57

wudu.

00:18:58 --> 00:19:00

And then we spend the fourth rakah trying

00:19:00 --> 00:19:01

to figure out which rakah we're in.

00:19:02 --> 00:19:03

And then we finish the prayer, we're like,

00:19:04 --> 00:19:05

praying is not so hard, right?

00:19:06 --> 00:19:07

You know, subhanallah.

00:19:07 --> 00:19:09

That's not the kind of prayer that I

00:19:09 --> 00:19:10

wanna finish with.

00:19:10 --> 00:19:11

Can you imagine that's your last prayer?

00:19:11 --> 00:19:12

That's not what I wanna finish with.

00:19:13 --> 00:19:15

So he says, don't have lofty expectations.

00:19:15 --> 00:19:17

Don't expect to live a long time.

00:19:17 --> 00:19:19

The Prophet, peace be upon him, only lived

00:19:19 --> 00:19:19

till 63.

00:19:20 --> 00:19:26

When someone passes at 63, we now in

00:19:26 --> 00:19:27

the era of like modern medicine, we say

00:19:27 --> 00:19:30

things like, wow, young.

00:19:31 --> 00:19:33

But that's how long he lived.

00:19:33 --> 00:19:35

There was a doctor in Knoxville, Tennessee where

00:19:35 --> 00:19:37

I used to live and he said, he

00:19:37 --> 00:19:38

was 65.

00:19:39 --> 00:19:40

And he said, you know, people wished him

00:19:40 --> 00:19:42

a happy birthday on his 65th birthday.

00:19:42 --> 00:19:44

And he said, I don't care anymore.

00:19:44 --> 00:19:45

63 was all I expected.

00:19:45 --> 00:19:46

Everything after that is a bonus.

00:19:47 --> 00:19:48

That was his mindset.

00:19:49 --> 00:19:51

You know, our Prophet lived till this number,

00:19:51 --> 00:19:52

peace be upon him.

00:19:52 --> 00:19:53

I don't expect anything more than that.

00:19:55 --> 00:19:57

It's not about being sadistic and dark.

00:19:57 --> 00:20:00

Someone says happy birthday and you're like, birthdays

00:20:00 --> 00:20:00

are haram.

00:20:01 --> 00:20:02

That's not, they're not by the way.

00:20:02 --> 00:20:03

But that's not the point.

00:20:04 --> 00:20:05

Wallahu alam, but they're not.

00:20:07 --> 00:20:10

The point is that if you understand every

00:20:10 --> 00:20:13

moment as being valuable, you will live that

00:20:13 --> 00:20:15

moment and have minimal regrets.

00:20:16 --> 00:20:18

He says, do not expect to live a

00:20:18 --> 00:20:18

long time.

00:20:19 --> 00:20:22

He says, on that basis, if you live

00:20:22 --> 00:20:25

thinking that you have forever, you're gonna be

00:20:25 --> 00:20:27

very bad at getting things done.

00:20:27 --> 00:20:28

You're gonna procrastinate.

00:20:28 --> 00:20:31

And he says, for example, I'll go to

00:20:31 --> 00:20:32

hajj when I'm 50 years old.

00:20:32 --> 00:20:33

I'll go to hajj later.

00:20:34 --> 00:20:35

You know, somebody might say, oh, I'll do

00:20:35 --> 00:20:37

this, I'll start praying later.

00:20:38 --> 00:20:39

I'll start dressing a certain way later.

00:20:41 --> 00:20:43

I'll get married, I'll date for a little

00:20:43 --> 00:20:45

bit now, but I'll get married later, right,

00:20:45 --> 00:20:46

when I'm serious.

00:20:47 --> 00:20:50

All of those laters are manifestation of this

00:20:50 --> 00:20:50

disease.

00:20:52 --> 00:20:53

Right, don't put off till tomorrow what you

00:20:53 --> 00:20:55

have the ability to do today.

00:20:56 --> 00:20:59

And so he says, no one is promised

00:20:59 --> 00:21:02

anything, and a person who believes that they

00:21:02 --> 00:21:03

have this promised is delusional.

00:21:04 --> 00:21:05

They are delusional.

00:21:06 --> 00:21:09

So then, he says, cut short all of

00:21:09 --> 00:21:11

your expectations in this world.

00:21:12 --> 00:21:14

That will instantly make your relationships better.

00:21:16 --> 00:21:17

You know, how many times have you experienced

00:21:17 --> 00:21:19

the loss of a loved one, a friend

00:21:19 --> 00:21:21

or a family member, and you instantly try

00:21:21 --> 00:21:22

to think of the last time you talked

00:21:22 --> 00:21:22

to them?

00:21:22 --> 00:21:26

And you realize that you didn't speak to

00:21:26 --> 00:21:28

them as regularly as you should have.

00:21:29 --> 00:21:31

And you have this immense regret.

00:21:32 --> 00:21:33

I should have.

00:21:33 --> 00:21:35

I should have called them more.

00:21:36 --> 00:21:37

I should have texted them more.

00:21:37 --> 00:21:39

Now, there's an element of that that's just

00:21:39 --> 00:21:39

reality.

00:21:40 --> 00:21:42

You can't constantly be on the phone with

00:21:42 --> 00:21:42

somebody.

00:21:44 --> 00:21:46

But on the other side of the spectrum,

00:21:46 --> 00:21:49

there's also an element of this which is

00:21:49 --> 00:21:51

solved by a person not thinking that they

00:21:51 --> 00:21:52

have forever.

00:21:53 --> 00:21:55

I saw the most heartbreaking but very true,

00:21:56 --> 00:21:58

subhanAllah, realization.

00:21:59 --> 00:22:00

You know, a lot of us, especially as

00:22:00 --> 00:22:02

you get older, and I don't know how

00:22:02 --> 00:22:03

old with the average age in here, but

00:22:03 --> 00:22:06

I'm 36, so you can measure yourself based

00:22:06 --> 00:22:07

off me, I guess.

00:22:07 --> 00:22:10

When you get to my age, you start

00:22:10 --> 00:22:17

to see the signs of weakness in your

00:22:17 --> 00:22:17

parents.

00:22:18 --> 00:22:21

You know, the Qur'an describes as when

00:22:21 --> 00:22:22

you were born, you were weak, and then

00:22:22 --> 00:22:24

you became strong, and then you returned back

00:22:24 --> 00:22:24

to weakness.

00:22:25 --> 00:22:27

And that's the timeline Allah gives people in

00:22:27 --> 00:22:28

the Qur'an.

00:22:29 --> 00:22:30

Weak, strong, weak again.

00:22:31 --> 00:22:33

So you start to see like, you know,

00:22:34 --> 00:22:37

my mom is Egyptian, so Egyptian women, you

00:22:37 --> 00:22:40

guys saw that, you know, Obama, Egyptian women,

00:22:40 --> 00:22:41

you guys saw that?

00:22:41 --> 00:22:42

We are Egyptian women.

00:22:43 --> 00:22:44

So my mom is an Egyptian woman.

00:22:45 --> 00:22:47

Very strong, very strong everything.

00:22:48 --> 00:22:52

Strong opinions, strong voice, strong hands.

00:22:53 --> 00:22:54

Sorry, CPS, right?

00:22:54 --> 00:22:59

Okay, so I say that I turned out

00:22:59 --> 00:23:00

okay, but did I?

00:23:00 --> 00:23:03

Okay, so anyways, my mom used to, subhanAllah,

00:23:03 --> 00:23:05

when she wanted us to like stop playing

00:23:05 --> 00:23:09

video games, there's a very easy solution when

00:23:09 --> 00:23:10

we're kids.

00:23:11 --> 00:23:12

But my mom was not the most, like

00:23:12 --> 00:23:15

technologically, like she, you know, these things are

00:23:15 --> 00:23:16

all new, right?

00:23:16 --> 00:23:18

She's incredibly smart, mashAllah.

00:23:19 --> 00:23:21

But like the mechanics of a Sony PlayStation

00:23:21 --> 00:23:23

to her are not the same as what

00:23:23 --> 00:23:24

she knew, what she studied.

00:23:25 --> 00:23:27

So there's a very easy way for a

00:23:27 --> 00:23:29

person when they're leaving the house to like

00:23:29 --> 00:23:31

make sure their kids don't play video games.

00:23:32 --> 00:23:33

You take the controllers, right?

00:23:34 --> 00:23:36

Or you take like the power cables or

00:23:36 --> 00:23:38

the games, take the games, the discs.

00:23:39 --> 00:23:40

My mom would take the TV.

00:23:44 --> 00:23:45

My mom would unplug.

00:23:45 --> 00:23:48

And for all of us, for those of

00:23:48 --> 00:23:51

us who are under 30 maybe, a TV

00:23:51 --> 00:23:53

in your life has always been like what

00:23:53 --> 00:23:55

you see on the walls here, like this

00:23:55 --> 00:23:57

really thin, like 16 pounds.

00:23:58 --> 00:24:01

No, we're talking about, speaking of Egyptian, these

00:24:01 --> 00:24:02

things were like pyramids.

00:24:02 --> 00:24:05

They were tubes that had a deep, they

00:24:05 --> 00:24:08

were like three feet long, right?

00:24:08 --> 00:24:09

They were massive.

00:24:10 --> 00:24:11

I mean, it was like your couch was

00:24:11 --> 00:24:14

smaller than the television, okay?

00:24:14 --> 00:24:17

And she would literally pick it up if

00:24:17 --> 00:24:19

she worked on the weekends because she was

00:24:19 --> 00:24:20

a nutritionist at a hospital.

00:24:20 --> 00:24:22

If she worked on Friday or on Saturdays

00:24:22 --> 00:24:25

and Sundays, she would literally take it in

00:24:25 --> 00:24:26

her car and she would put it in

00:24:26 --> 00:24:27

her trunk.

00:24:28 --> 00:24:30

And my brother and I were like both

00:24:30 --> 00:24:33

devastated but just honestly impressed.

00:24:34 --> 00:24:35

You know, you have to give props where

00:24:35 --> 00:24:37

props are due, right?

00:24:39 --> 00:24:42

So you need to imagine my framework when

00:24:42 --> 00:24:43

I think of my mom.

00:24:44 --> 00:24:46

My mom was the woman who, before Fudger,

00:24:46 --> 00:24:48

would lift up a television and put it

00:24:48 --> 00:24:51

in the trunk of her minivan and then

00:24:51 --> 00:24:51

go to work.

00:24:51 --> 00:24:53

And she went to work at seven so

00:24:53 --> 00:24:54

we'd wake up with like heartbreak.

00:24:58 --> 00:24:59

And then, you know, you fast forward, right?

00:25:00 --> 00:25:03

So that was like high school and then

00:25:03 --> 00:25:05

college and then like you get a job

00:25:05 --> 00:25:07

and you go and you're like chasing life,

00:25:07 --> 00:25:07

right?

00:25:07 --> 00:25:08

So you're like in your 20s and you're

00:25:08 --> 00:25:10

like, it's all about me.

00:25:10 --> 00:25:11

You know, I got to find a job.

00:25:11 --> 00:25:12

I got to do this, do this, this,

00:25:12 --> 00:25:13

this.

00:25:14 --> 00:25:17

And then, you know, I move and my

00:25:17 --> 00:25:18

mom is like, yeah, move.

00:25:18 --> 00:25:19

Like, you know, she's happy.

00:25:19 --> 00:25:20

Not like, yeah, move.

00:25:20 --> 00:25:21

She's like, no, no, please.

00:25:21 --> 00:25:23

Like, you know, be successful.

00:25:23 --> 00:25:25

Like, I'm making dua for you, habibi, et

00:25:25 --> 00:25:25

cetera, et cetera.

00:25:26 --> 00:25:27

Like hiding her own pain, right?

00:25:28 --> 00:25:30

So then you plan your visits and you

00:25:30 --> 00:25:31

go back and visit your parents and you

00:25:31 --> 00:25:32

try to see them and you try to

00:25:32 --> 00:25:35

like as much as you can and you

00:25:35 --> 00:25:36

pick up on these things.

00:25:36 --> 00:25:37

You know, the same woman that could lift

00:25:37 --> 00:25:38

this television.

00:25:39 --> 00:25:41

I saw her struggling to carry a gallon

00:25:41 --> 00:25:44

of milk, right?

00:25:49 --> 00:25:54

And so you realize like in your eyes,

00:25:55 --> 00:25:59

those 15 years flew by from high school,

00:25:59 --> 00:26:02

college, you know, master's degree, et cetera.

00:26:02 --> 00:26:03

They were like so fast.

00:26:05 --> 00:26:11

But the degradation of strength was hidden from

00:26:11 --> 00:26:12

you and then bam, it just hits you,

00:26:13 --> 00:26:13

right?

00:26:14 --> 00:26:16

So I saw this post that I thought

00:26:16 --> 00:26:18

was really crazy, which is that when your

00:26:18 --> 00:26:22

parents get older, you start to think about

00:26:22 --> 00:26:23

like, oh, I have 20 years left with

00:26:23 --> 00:26:23

them.

00:26:24 --> 00:26:25

You know, you do the math.

00:26:25 --> 00:26:27

You're guessing like, oh, they're 40, they're 50.

00:26:27 --> 00:26:28

Hopefully, you have 20 years left.

00:26:28 --> 00:26:30

But then if you only visit them like

00:26:30 --> 00:26:32

once a year, twice a year, three times

00:26:32 --> 00:26:34

a year, you actually don't have 20 years

00:26:34 --> 00:26:34

left with them.

00:26:34 --> 00:26:35

You only have 20 visits.

00:26:37 --> 00:26:38

And then you go and visit them.

00:26:38 --> 00:26:39

And this was a post that was for

00:26:39 --> 00:26:41

the general public, you know, where like most

00:26:41 --> 00:26:44

people see their parents on Thanksgiving and that's

00:26:44 --> 00:26:44

it.

00:26:45 --> 00:26:46

When I say people, I don't mean from

00:26:46 --> 00:26:47

the ummah, hopefully.

00:26:47 --> 00:26:49

But we are a product of our environment.

00:26:51 --> 00:26:52

And so even if you see your parents

00:26:52 --> 00:26:55

four times a year, like you only have

00:26:55 --> 00:26:58

80 more meals with them, 80 more visits.

00:26:58 --> 00:27:00

And you start to count and realize like,

00:27:01 --> 00:27:03

I went recently with my kids and I

00:27:03 --> 00:27:06

did the math and I thought, subhanAllah, if

00:27:06 --> 00:27:07

my mom has this many years left and

00:27:07 --> 00:27:09

I see her this many times a year,

00:27:09 --> 00:27:11

I only have this many visits.

00:27:11 --> 00:27:13

And it hit me so heavily.

00:27:14 --> 00:27:20

So, tur al amal, it affects you across

00:27:20 --> 00:27:21

even yourself, subhanAllah.

00:27:23 --> 00:27:25

And you have to realize like, I don't

00:27:25 --> 00:27:27

have this much time with this person.

00:27:28 --> 00:27:30

I don't have this much time with these

00:27:30 --> 00:27:30

people.

00:27:31 --> 00:27:32

I don't have this much time, etc.

00:27:32 --> 00:27:33

Even with myself.

00:27:35 --> 00:27:37

And then ultimately when your soul leaves your

00:27:37 --> 00:27:41

body, that's when the realest of realizations happens.

00:27:42 --> 00:27:45

You know, I was planning on praying, like

00:27:45 --> 00:27:47

imagine this, when the angel of death comes

00:27:47 --> 00:27:49

and takes your soul, may Allah make it

00:27:49 --> 00:27:50

a good taking for us.

00:27:51 --> 00:27:54

Will you have prayed the prayer that was

00:27:54 --> 00:27:54

in the waqt?

00:27:56 --> 00:27:58

Will you have performed the salah that was

00:27:58 --> 00:27:59

in that time?

00:27:59 --> 00:28:02

Or as a result of delaying the prayers,

00:28:02 --> 00:28:03

will you have been taken in a moment

00:28:03 --> 00:28:04

where you didn't pray?

00:28:06 --> 00:28:07

Let's say your death was written for dhuhr,

00:28:07 --> 00:28:10

or for night time after isha.

00:28:11 --> 00:28:12

Let's say your death was written for that

00:28:12 --> 00:28:12

time.

00:28:13 --> 00:28:15

Will you have performed isha before?

00:28:16 --> 00:28:18

Or do you have this habit of putting

00:28:18 --> 00:28:20

things off when it comes to Allah to

00:28:20 --> 00:28:21

the last minute?

00:28:21 --> 00:28:23

And so when the angel comes, is your

00:28:23 --> 00:28:26

request gonna be, no, no, no, please give

00:28:26 --> 00:28:27

me five minutes.

00:28:27 --> 00:28:28

I'm just gonna pray and then you can

00:28:28 --> 00:28:28

take me.

00:28:28 --> 00:28:31

Or is the thought going to be, alhamdulillah

00:28:31 --> 00:28:32

that I prayed.

00:28:33 --> 00:28:35

And I'm meeting Allah in a state where

00:28:35 --> 00:28:37

I completed the last prayer that was upon

00:28:37 --> 00:28:38

me, I completed it.

00:28:40 --> 00:28:42

So dhuhr al-amal is a very, very

00:28:42 --> 00:28:45

sophisticated and a very subtle disease of the

00:28:45 --> 00:28:45

heart.

00:28:45 --> 00:28:48

And he says if you want to be

00:28:48 --> 00:28:50

grateful to Allah and be purposeful with Him,

00:28:50 --> 00:28:51

you conquer this.

00:28:52 --> 00:28:55

This is why the dua that we recite

00:28:55 --> 00:28:57

when we wake up in the morning is

00:28:57 --> 00:28:57

what?

00:28:58 --> 00:29:05

الحمد لله الذي أحيانا بعدما أماتنا وإليه مشهور.

00:29:05 --> 00:29:09

That dua translates to, all praise and thanks

00:29:09 --> 00:29:11

be to the one who gave us life

00:29:11 --> 00:29:15

after He caused us to die and to

00:29:15 --> 00:29:17

Him is our return.

00:29:18 --> 00:29:20

You realize when you wake up that that

00:29:20 --> 00:29:22

was the rehearsal of death.

00:29:23 --> 00:29:26

When you sleep at night, there's no guarantee

00:29:26 --> 00:29:27

that you will wake up the next morning.

00:29:27 --> 00:29:30

As dramatic as that sounds, there isn't.

00:29:30 --> 00:29:33

Sleep is the ultimate trust exercise with Allah.

00:29:34 --> 00:29:35

You have no clue.

00:29:36 --> 00:29:38

And when you wake up, the dua from

00:29:38 --> 00:29:40

the sunnah of the Prophet peace be upon

00:29:40 --> 00:29:42

him is, to thank Allah for restoring.

00:29:42 --> 00:29:44

The hadith actually says, this is crazy.

00:29:45 --> 00:29:47

Not crazy in a derogatory way but this

00:29:47 --> 00:29:48

is incredible.

00:29:49 --> 00:29:52

When a person falls asleep, their soul actually

00:29:52 --> 00:29:53

is lifted from their body temporarily.

00:29:53 --> 00:29:56

And it hovers.

00:29:56 --> 00:29:58

And then when it's time for them to

00:29:58 --> 00:29:59

come back, their soul is put back into

00:29:59 --> 00:30:00

their body.

00:30:01 --> 00:30:01

Right?

00:30:02 --> 00:30:04

And there's a conversation about that's where dreams

00:30:04 --> 00:30:07

come from because the arwah, the souls have

00:30:07 --> 00:30:09

a different experience than the bodies do.

00:30:09 --> 00:30:11

But anyways, the point being is, every night

00:30:11 --> 00:30:13

when you fall asleep, remember that.

00:30:14 --> 00:30:15

That this is just a dress rehearsal for

00:30:15 --> 00:30:16

the eventual end.

00:30:18 --> 00:30:19

And so when you go to sleep at

00:30:19 --> 00:30:21

night, if you haven't prayed isha yet, remember

00:30:21 --> 00:30:21

that.

00:30:22 --> 00:30:27

If you haven't communicated with your loved ones,

00:30:27 --> 00:30:28

at least a simple text message.

00:30:29 --> 00:30:30

I love you.

00:30:31 --> 00:30:31

Right?

00:30:32 --> 00:30:33

I hope to see you soon.

00:30:33 --> 00:30:38

If you haven't squashed all your grudges, all

00:30:38 --> 00:30:40

of your petty fights and arguments that you

00:30:40 --> 00:30:42

have, think, go through your head.

00:30:42 --> 00:30:43

This is spirituality.

00:30:45 --> 00:30:47

Spirituality is when your head hits the pillow,

00:30:47 --> 00:30:48

you have nothing heavy in your heart.

00:30:49 --> 00:30:50

That's a spiritual person.

00:30:51 --> 00:30:53

They have completed their responsibilities.

00:30:54 --> 00:30:56

They've remembered Allah and they've put Allah first.

00:30:56 --> 00:30:57

Not themselves, Allah.

00:30:58 --> 00:31:00

I'm not gonna have this dumb fight with

00:31:00 --> 00:31:03

this person that's hanging over me like a

00:31:03 --> 00:31:03

rain cloud.

00:31:04 --> 00:31:06

I'm not gonna die in this state because

00:31:06 --> 00:31:08

I don't wanna take this to the Day

00:31:08 --> 00:31:08

of Judgment.

00:31:09 --> 00:31:11

I wanna just finish it here.

00:31:11 --> 00:31:12

I wanna resolve this here.

00:31:13 --> 00:31:14

May Allah Ta'ala give us a good

00:31:14 --> 00:31:15

ending.

00:31:16 --> 00:31:18

And as a result of this, He says,

00:31:20 --> 00:31:23

the next line, is that one of the

00:31:23 --> 00:31:27

things that a person should do and it's

00:31:27 --> 00:31:30

recommended to do from the Prophet ﷺ, is

00:31:30 --> 00:31:34

actually visit, make it a habit to visit

00:31:34 --> 00:31:39

the graveyards or the resting places of the

00:31:39 --> 00:31:41

departed beloved people that we have.

00:31:41 --> 00:31:45

To go and visit the graves of people.

00:31:45 --> 00:31:50

Now, I know that there's some like, there's

00:31:50 --> 00:31:51

some superstition for sure.

00:31:52 --> 00:31:52

Right?

00:31:53 --> 00:31:57

There's some question even in Sharia about like

00:31:57 --> 00:31:59

women visiting graves.

00:31:59 --> 00:32:01

So I'm gonna clear this up one time.

00:32:02 --> 00:32:02

Okay?

00:32:03 --> 00:32:06

The practice of visiting graves, without a doubt,

00:32:06 --> 00:32:08

is a sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ.

00:32:09 --> 00:32:09

Without a doubt.

00:32:10 --> 00:32:12

In fact, he would do it on Fridays

00:32:13 --> 00:32:14

of all days.

00:32:14 --> 00:32:15

You know, Jumu'ah is like a happy

00:32:15 --> 00:32:16

day, right?

00:32:16 --> 00:32:18

Jumu'ah, you're like, Oh, Jumu'ah, then

00:32:18 --> 00:32:19

go get some lunch.

00:32:20 --> 00:32:21

And then, you know, it's kind of like

00:32:21 --> 00:32:22

the end of a week for us.

00:32:23 --> 00:32:24

So, but he would go in the morning

00:32:24 --> 00:32:27

on Fridays and he would go to Baqiyah,

00:32:27 --> 00:32:28

which is the grave in Medina.

00:32:28 --> 00:32:30

It was right close to his house, like

00:32:30 --> 00:32:31

300 yards away.

00:32:32 --> 00:32:34

And he would visit and he would go

00:32:34 --> 00:32:35

and make du'a for those who had

00:32:35 --> 00:32:36

passed away.

00:32:36 --> 00:32:37

And the du'a when you visit the

00:32:37 --> 00:32:39

grave is actually even more amazing.

00:32:41 --> 00:32:44

You know, you greet them as if they're

00:32:44 --> 00:32:46

still alive because you understand that in that

00:32:46 --> 00:32:48

moment they can actually perceive what you're saying.

00:32:49 --> 00:32:52

As-salamu alaykum, Ya Ahlul Diyar.

00:32:53 --> 00:32:56

Peace be upon you, Oh, inhabitants of this

00:32:56 --> 00:32:56

abode.

00:32:57 --> 00:32:58

Right?

00:32:58 --> 00:33:01

Antumus sabiqoon, wa nahnu nahiqoon.

00:33:01 --> 00:33:03

You were the ones who went ahead and

00:33:03 --> 00:33:04

we're just coming after you.

00:33:05 --> 00:33:06

Like we're right behind you.

00:33:07 --> 00:33:11

Nas'al Allah al-Azeem al-'afiyah.

00:33:11 --> 00:33:13

Like we ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

00:33:13 --> 00:33:13

for his pardon.

00:33:14 --> 00:33:16

So when a person visits the grave, listen

00:33:16 --> 00:33:18

to this, the du'a is the exact

00:33:18 --> 00:33:20

mindset that we should have, not only in

00:33:20 --> 00:33:21

that moment but in life.

00:33:22 --> 00:33:24

Number one, is that the people in the

00:33:24 --> 00:33:26

grave are not so different from you.

00:33:27 --> 00:33:29

The only difference is that your body is

00:33:29 --> 00:33:30

still working.

00:33:31 --> 00:33:34

But their soul and your soul is the

00:33:34 --> 00:33:34

same.

00:33:34 --> 00:33:35

It's the same substance.

00:33:35 --> 00:33:36

I told my son this.

00:33:36 --> 00:33:38

He's like, what happens when you die?

00:33:38 --> 00:33:40

And I was panicking because I'm like, oh

00:33:40 --> 00:33:41

my God, you're five.

00:33:42 --> 00:33:43

But that's what happens when you take a

00:33:43 --> 00:33:43

kid to Turkey.

00:33:43 --> 00:33:45

All they see is gravestones everywhere.

00:33:46 --> 00:33:47

Doner kebab and graves, right?

00:33:49 --> 00:33:51

And so we're walking and he sees this

00:33:51 --> 00:33:53

cemetery in front of the masjid.

00:33:53 --> 00:33:54

He goes, what's that?

00:33:55 --> 00:33:56

And my wife looks at me and I'm

00:33:56 --> 00:33:57

like, do we lie?

00:33:58 --> 00:34:00

I'm like, I got a few good deeds,

00:34:00 --> 00:34:01

you know, that I can...

00:34:01 --> 00:34:03

And she goes, no, it's just, it's time

00:34:03 --> 00:34:03

to explain.

00:34:04 --> 00:34:05

I said, you know, this is a grave.

00:34:05 --> 00:34:07

This is where people who die are buried.

00:34:08 --> 00:34:11

And then he thinks of the oldest person

00:34:11 --> 00:34:13

and he goes, are they going to die?

00:34:13 --> 00:34:14

He said, it's his grandma.

00:34:15 --> 00:34:16

He's like, is she going to die?

00:34:16 --> 00:34:18

And I'm like, no.

00:34:19 --> 00:34:20

I mean, eventually we're all going to die.

00:34:21 --> 00:34:22

But I was like, she's not going to

00:34:22 --> 00:34:22

die.

00:34:23 --> 00:34:24

And then he goes, what happens when someone

00:34:24 --> 00:34:25

dies?

00:34:25 --> 00:34:26

And I said, I was panicking and I

00:34:26 --> 00:34:29

came up with this subhanallah explanation only from

00:34:29 --> 00:34:29

Allah.

00:34:30 --> 00:34:31

Because in a panic, I didn't know what

00:34:31 --> 00:34:32

to say.

00:34:32 --> 00:34:35

I said, well, when you die, Allah made

00:34:35 --> 00:34:37

you as a person, you are two things.

00:34:37 --> 00:34:39

You are a body and a soul.

00:34:39 --> 00:34:40

When you die, your body stops working, but

00:34:40 --> 00:34:41

your soul keeps living.

00:34:43 --> 00:34:44

And I said, so he goes, okay, so

00:34:44 --> 00:34:46

when you die, that's when your body stops.

00:34:46 --> 00:34:47

I said, yes, exactly.

00:34:48 --> 00:34:49

Right?

00:34:49 --> 00:34:50

But the soul keeps going.

00:34:51 --> 00:34:53

And that soul goes to be with Allah

00:34:53 --> 00:34:54

and be in Jannah, inshallah.

00:34:55 --> 00:34:55

Right?

00:34:56 --> 00:34:58

But when you go to the graves and

00:34:58 --> 00:35:01

you're wishing upon them peace and blessings and

00:35:01 --> 00:35:04

greetings, you're admitting something, which is what?

00:35:04 --> 00:35:05

We're not so far off.

00:35:06 --> 00:35:07

And then you even say, in terms of

00:35:07 --> 00:35:10

sequence, you say to them, you were ahead

00:35:10 --> 00:35:11

of us, sure.

00:35:12 --> 00:35:13

But we're right behind you.

00:35:13 --> 00:35:15

I'm not going to guarantee myself.

00:35:15 --> 00:35:16

There's not a big gap between us.

00:35:18 --> 00:35:20

Even if it's years, even if you look

00:35:20 --> 00:35:22

at the tombstone, you see, oh, wow, this

00:35:22 --> 00:35:24

person passed away 20, 50, 60 years ago.

00:35:24 --> 00:35:27

On the grand scale of humanity and time,

00:35:27 --> 00:35:28

it's going to be a blip.

00:35:29 --> 00:35:31

When they look at you dying and someone

00:35:31 --> 00:35:33

else who died 50 years before you, 100

00:35:33 --> 00:35:35

years before you, even 1,000 years.

00:35:35 --> 00:35:39

And then you say, after admitting that you're

00:35:39 --> 00:35:42

coming soon, you say, we ask Allah for

00:35:42 --> 00:35:42

his aafiyah.

00:35:43 --> 00:35:46

We ask Allah for his pardon, his gentle

00:35:46 --> 00:35:46

pardoning.

00:35:46 --> 00:35:47

That's what we need.

00:35:48 --> 00:35:48

All of us.

00:35:49 --> 00:35:51

So he says, visit the graves.

00:35:52 --> 00:35:53

Go when you can.

00:35:54 --> 00:35:55

Make it a habit.

00:35:55 --> 00:35:56

If you don't go at all, which most

00:35:56 --> 00:36:01

people don't, then make it maybe a once

00:36:01 --> 00:36:01

a month thing.

00:36:03 --> 00:36:04

You don't have to go at night.

00:36:05 --> 00:36:07

Everyone in this room is like October 31st.

00:36:07 --> 00:36:07

No, wrong.

00:36:08 --> 00:36:09

Right?

00:36:09 --> 00:36:10

Don't cross culture like that.

00:36:11 --> 00:36:12

Go on Friday.

00:36:13 --> 00:36:14

Go during the daytime.

00:36:14 --> 00:36:16

If you can't go inside of one, maybe

00:36:16 --> 00:36:19

drive by one with that intention that this

00:36:19 --> 00:36:21

is the, I'm making ziyarah, now I'm going

00:36:21 --> 00:36:22

to visit.

00:36:22 --> 00:36:24

I'm making dua for any Muslims who are

00:36:24 --> 00:36:24

here.

00:36:24 --> 00:36:26

I'm praying for them, I'm praying for their

00:36:26 --> 00:36:27

forgiveness, etc.

00:36:27 --> 00:36:30

But he says, go with the focus of

00:36:30 --> 00:36:33

reminding you of death.

00:36:34 --> 00:36:35

The Prophet, peace be upon him, would do

00:36:35 --> 00:36:36

this every single week.

00:36:36 --> 00:36:40

The commentator says, visiting the graves is one

00:36:40 --> 00:36:43

of the most incredible cures for so many

00:36:43 --> 00:36:44

diseases.

00:36:44 --> 00:36:45

It softens your heart.

00:36:47 --> 00:36:49

It disconnects you from all of the things

00:36:49 --> 00:36:51

that frustrate you and anger you.

00:36:52 --> 00:36:54

Remembering death is one of the most incredible

00:36:54 --> 00:36:55

cures.

00:36:56 --> 00:36:57

If you're a person who has anger issues,

00:36:58 --> 00:37:01

if you get into fights with people, if

00:37:01 --> 00:37:02

you have like a lot of grudges or

00:37:02 --> 00:37:04

a lot of like beef between you and

00:37:04 --> 00:37:07

somebody else, just start visiting graves.

00:37:08 --> 00:37:11

And you'll realize very quickly that none of

00:37:11 --> 00:37:11

it matters.

00:37:12 --> 00:37:13

None of it.

00:37:14 --> 00:37:17

If you're really worried about your life, if

00:37:17 --> 00:37:20

you're really worried about getting married or making

00:37:20 --> 00:37:22

money or being successful or all that stuff,

00:37:22 --> 00:37:23

just go visit the grave.

00:37:25 --> 00:37:27

It doesn't mean that stuff's not important.

00:37:28 --> 00:37:33

But whenever you compare something to infinity, that

00:37:33 --> 00:37:34

other thing becomes zero.

00:37:35 --> 00:37:38

So when you are staring at your eventual

00:37:38 --> 00:37:43

end, six feet under, and that your soul,

00:37:43 --> 00:37:46

the thing that is gifted by Allah inside

00:37:46 --> 00:37:48

of you, that is the only thing that

00:37:48 --> 00:37:50

will continue after your body dies.

00:37:51 --> 00:37:54

When you realize and have that realization in

00:37:54 --> 00:37:57

that moment, all of your concerns and worries,

00:37:57 --> 00:37:58

they take a backseat.

00:37:59 --> 00:38:02

And you get this really beautiful thing called

00:38:02 --> 00:38:02

perspective.

00:38:03 --> 00:38:04

And you start to realize, you know, all

00:38:04 --> 00:38:08

those arguments, all of those anxieties, all of

00:38:08 --> 00:38:11

those stressors, all of those things that frustrate

00:38:11 --> 00:38:15

me, that make me into an angry person,

00:38:15 --> 00:38:17

a bitter person, a cold person, a sad

00:38:17 --> 00:38:18

person.

00:38:19 --> 00:38:22

All of them are completely and totally useless

00:38:22 --> 00:38:25

in the face of remembering death.

00:38:27 --> 00:38:31

Not only that, I'll share with you some

00:38:31 --> 00:38:32

narration, subhanAllah.

00:38:32 --> 00:38:33

Let me read to you one or two

00:38:33 --> 00:38:34

narrations and then we'll go to Q&A.

00:38:35 --> 00:38:36

If you have any questions, by the way,

00:38:36 --> 00:38:37

slido.com, you can go to heartwork, inshaAllah.

00:38:39 --> 00:38:42

This is not only displayed when a person

00:38:42 --> 00:38:45

visits the grave, but also this should be

00:38:45 --> 00:38:48

what we reflect on when we see death.

00:38:49 --> 00:38:51

And it goes without saying that for the

00:38:51 --> 00:38:55

past year, we've witnessed more than likely for

00:38:55 --> 00:39:00

anyone in this room, more death visually and

00:39:00 --> 00:39:04

with information and pictures, more than we've ever

00:39:04 --> 00:39:07

anticipated seeing in ways we've never imagined.

00:39:07 --> 00:39:08

May Allah Ta'ala accept them all as

00:39:08 --> 00:39:12

martyrs and give them all Jannah with no

00:39:12 --> 00:39:12

hisab.

00:39:14 --> 00:39:17

But even when somebody passes away and you

00:39:17 --> 00:39:21

attend their janazah, even if somebody passes away

00:39:21 --> 00:39:23

and you knew them but you weren't able

00:39:23 --> 00:39:26

to, it should have some effect on you

00:39:27 --> 00:39:29

even if it's momentarily.

00:39:30 --> 00:39:33

Meaning, it's spiritually concerning if we hear about

00:39:33 --> 00:39:35

death and then we go to Doordash and

00:39:35 --> 00:39:36

order lunch.

00:39:37 --> 00:39:38

It's concerning.

00:39:39 --> 00:39:41

It's concerning if we go to a janazah

00:39:41 --> 00:39:45

and we're making plans at the janazah to

00:39:45 --> 00:39:46

go to a coffee house.

00:39:47 --> 00:39:48

It's concerning.

00:39:48 --> 00:39:49

It's concerning.

00:39:50 --> 00:39:54

Because in that environment, the heaviness and the

00:39:54 --> 00:39:58

weight of the undeniable truth of death should

00:39:58 --> 00:40:01

be so felt that you no longer feel

00:40:01 --> 00:40:02

hungry.

00:40:03 --> 00:40:05

You're no longer planning what to do after

00:40:05 --> 00:40:05

that.

00:40:06 --> 00:40:08

Maybe you have plans later but now is

00:40:08 --> 00:40:09

not the time.

00:40:09 --> 00:40:16

So there's some narrations that were shared about

00:40:16 --> 00:40:18

the people before us, the companions of the

00:40:18 --> 00:40:19

Prophet ﷺ.

00:40:20 --> 00:40:23

One of them, he says that there was

00:40:23 --> 00:40:27

a person that there was, he was attending

00:40:27 --> 00:40:30

a janazah of one of his good friends.

00:40:31 --> 00:40:32

His really good friend passed away.

00:40:33 --> 00:40:35

And everybody came up to him and they

00:40:35 --> 00:40:37

saw him and they said salamu alaykum to

00:40:37 --> 00:40:37

him.

00:40:38 --> 00:40:41

And they all commented that he looked absent

00:40:41 --> 00:40:43

-minded or rude.

00:40:44 --> 00:40:45

Like he was ignoring them.

00:40:47 --> 00:40:48

And then so after the janazah, a few

00:40:48 --> 00:40:49

days later they went to him and they

00:40:49 --> 00:40:51

said like, hey, did we upset you?

00:40:51 --> 00:40:53

Like why didn't you respond to our salam?

00:40:53 --> 00:40:54

Like we were giving you salam and you

00:40:54 --> 00:40:56

just shook our hand and left.

00:40:57 --> 00:40:58

And he said, I don't remember anything.

00:41:00 --> 00:41:00

I don't even remember.

00:41:01 --> 00:41:04

I was in such a reflective state, like

00:41:04 --> 00:41:07

I can't even remember you guys being there.

00:41:07 --> 00:41:09

I was just in a different place.

00:41:11 --> 00:41:12

And so they said that he would just

00:41:12 --> 00:41:13

greet and turn away.

00:41:13 --> 00:41:14

He was preoccupied.

00:41:15 --> 00:41:18

Another narration said that when the earlier generations

00:41:18 --> 00:41:23

would attend a funeral, it was noticeable on

00:41:23 --> 00:41:26

their behavior for at least a couple days.

00:41:28 --> 00:41:30

Like maybe, you know, if you're used to

00:41:30 --> 00:41:33

having like a big dinner or big breakfast

00:41:33 --> 00:41:37

or whatever, these people after seeing a body

00:41:37 --> 00:41:39

be buried into the ground, they just were

00:41:39 --> 00:41:41

no longer interested in that.

00:41:42 --> 00:41:43

Maybe it would take them a couple days

00:41:43 --> 00:41:44

to recover.

00:41:44 --> 00:41:47

Now again, this isn't a performative thing like,

00:41:47 --> 00:41:49

oh, go to a janazah and then don't

00:41:49 --> 00:41:49

eat.

00:41:49 --> 00:41:50

That's not what I'm talking about.

00:41:51 --> 00:41:52

And for some people it might affect you

00:41:52 --> 00:41:53

in different ways.

00:41:54 --> 00:41:56

You know, for some of us, you might

00:41:56 --> 00:41:58

be shopping and then you go to a

00:41:58 --> 00:42:00

janazah and then you leave and you're like,

00:42:00 --> 00:42:01

I'm going to empty the cart.

00:42:02 --> 00:42:04

I'm going to donate this instead.

00:42:04 --> 00:42:07

For some of us, we haven't talked to

00:42:07 --> 00:42:09

our relatives or our siblings in a long

00:42:09 --> 00:42:09

time.

00:42:09 --> 00:42:11

We go to a janazah and then as

00:42:11 --> 00:42:12

we're leaving the parking lot, we stop and

00:42:12 --> 00:42:13

we text them, we call them.

00:42:14 --> 00:42:17

So everybody's reaction or response is different.

00:42:17 --> 00:42:19

I'm not trying to prescribe one response.

00:42:20 --> 00:42:25

But if there's no response, when something doesn't

00:42:25 --> 00:42:27

respond, in medicine we call that death.

00:42:27 --> 00:42:32

If something doesn't respond, they're trying to shock

00:42:32 --> 00:42:34

the heart back into life and there's no

00:42:34 --> 00:42:36

response, that's when they call it.

00:42:37 --> 00:42:40

So if a person experiences the greatest shock

00:42:40 --> 00:42:42

which is literally praying in front of a

00:42:42 --> 00:42:44

body of a person that was alive a

00:42:44 --> 00:42:46

few hours ago, and then if they go

00:42:46 --> 00:42:48

to the burial ground and see that person's

00:42:48 --> 00:42:51

body being lowered into the earth and nothing

00:42:51 --> 00:42:55

happens here, that's a sign of a heart

00:42:55 --> 00:42:56

that is very close to dying.

00:42:58 --> 00:43:00

And so we ask Allah to give us

00:43:00 --> 00:43:02

a heart that is soft and a heart

00:43:02 --> 00:43:02

that feels.

00:43:03 --> 00:43:04

And we don't just scroll past death.

00:43:05 --> 00:43:08

We don't just quickly stop by and make

00:43:08 --> 00:43:09

dua and then go back to life.

00:43:09 --> 00:43:11

No, we want to make sure that whenever

00:43:11 --> 00:43:14

we experience death, which is reality, which is

00:43:14 --> 00:43:17

a reality, you cannot avoid it.

00:43:17 --> 00:43:18

But we want to make sure that that

00:43:18 --> 00:43:20

experience gives us a better life.

00:43:21 --> 00:43:23

It brings us closer to Allah.

00:43:24 --> 00:43:27

Now especially for those of you who have

00:43:27 --> 00:43:29

lost dear loved ones, people that are close

00:43:29 --> 00:43:33

to you, there is something really, really important.

00:43:33 --> 00:43:35

He mentions here, he says, when you think

00:43:35 --> 00:43:37

of death, take a journey with your heart

00:43:37 --> 00:43:38

to the place of resurrection.

00:43:39 --> 00:43:41

One thing I'd like to share, raise your

00:43:41 --> 00:43:43

hand if you have someone that you loved

00:43:43 --> 00:43:43

who has passed away.

00:43:45 --> 00:43:46

Okay, everybody here.

00:43:47 --> 00:43:48

Let me share with you a narration from

00:43:48 --> 00:43:49

Ibn Al-Qayyim.

00:43:49 --> 00:43:50

And then we'll go to Q&A.

00:43:50 --> 00:43:51

This is my favorite narration.

00:43:52 --> 00:43:53

He shares in one of his books, which

00:43:53 --> 00:43:55

is, there's a chapter on it called the

00:43:55 --> 00:43:56

Book of Death.

00:43:56 --> 00:43:58

And he explains some of the narrations about

00:43:58 --> 00:43:59

what happens.

00:43:59 --> 00:44:01

And one of the reasons why death is

00:44:01 --> 00:44:03

so scary for us is because it is

00:44:03 --> 00:44:05

the end of one thing but the beginning

00:44:05 --> 00:44:06

of something.

00:44:06 --> 00:44:08

It's the end of what we know and

00:44:08 --> 00:44:09

the beginning of what we don't know.

00:44:10 --> 00:44:12

Okay, so it's just a transition stage.

00:44:12 --> 00:44:14

But the difference is we just don't know

00:44:14 --> 00:44:15

what follows.

00:44:15 --> 00:44:17

None of us can come and say, I've

00:44:17 --> 00:44:18

experienced that.

00:44:18 --> 00:44:22

So we have this very, very fearful curiosity

00:44:22 --> 00:44:23

about it.

00:44:23 --> 00:44:24

But we know from the hadith and from

00:44:24 --> 00:44:27

the Quran, of course, what to expect in

00:44:27 --> 00:44:29

most cases, right?

00:44:30 --> 00:44:31

Ibn Al-Qayyim says that when a person

00:44:31 --> 00:44:34

passes away, and the hadith tells us this

00:44:34 --> 00:44:37

and then he shares some others, that there's

00:44:37 --> 00:44:38

two scenarios that occur.

00:44:38 --> 00:44:39

The first scenario is that this person was

00:44:39 --> 00:44:40

a very pious person.

00:44:41 --> 00:44:44

And in that moment, when the angel of

00:44:44 --> 00:44:48

death arrives into their vicinity, into their environment,

00:44:49 --> 00:44:50

this person was very pious.

00:44:50 --> 00:44:52

The angel of death does not show up

00:44:52 --> 00:44:55

with the, you know, the black Moroccan soap

00:44:56 --> 00:44:58

and the giant sickle.

00:44:58 --> 00:44:59

No, the angel of death shows up like

00:44:59 --> 00:45:05

a handsome, beautiful, just soothing, pleasant individual.

00:45:06 --> 00:45:08

And the hadith says that the room smells

00:45:08 --> 00:45:09

like musk.

00:45:10 --> 00:45:15

And the person who's actually on their deathbed

00:45:15 --> 00:45:18

in their last moments, they actually, while their

00:45:18 --> 00:45:20

face might not be able to, the hadith

00:45:20 --> 00:45:21

says that they actually smile.

00:45:22 --> 00:45:25

They experience this joy, this pleasantness.

00:45:27 --> 00:45:30

And then, subhanAllah, when the angel of death

00:45:30 --> 00:45:32

arrives, the angel of death says, Oh, you

00:45:32 --> 00:45:34

noble, wonderful person.

00:45:36 --> 00:45:38

It is time for us to go.

00:45:39 --> 00:45:40

Allah is calling you.

00:45:41 --> 00:45:44

And the soul, again, that you would think

00:45:44 --> 00:45:46

is like, wants to stay here, the soul

00:45:46 --> 00:45:50

is like, Yes, this place is not it.

00:45:51 --> 00:45:53

And they basically, the hadith says that the

00:45:53 --> 00:45:55

soul is removed from the body.

00:45:55 --> 00:45:57

And the example that is given is like

00:45:57 --> 00:45:59

when you pour water out of a glass,

00:45:59 --> 00:46:00

how smooth that is.

00:46:01 --> 00:46:03

And the angel of death is taking the

00:46:03 --> 00:46:03

soul by the hand.

00:46:04 --> 00:46:06

And then, the angel of death shows, you

00:46:06 --> 00:46:08

know, this is the first time now that

00:46:08 --> 00:46:09

the soul has seen the body, or out

00:46:09 --> 00:46:10

of body experience, right?

00:46:11 --> 00:46:12

The soul is looking at the body, the

00:46:12 --> 00:46:13

lifeless body.

00:46:14 --> 00:46:16

And then, the angel starts to ascend the

00:46:16 --> 00:46:16

heavens.

00:46:17 --> 00:46:20

And you start going above even the base

00:46:20 --> 00:46:22

sky that we see as the highest, right?

00:46:22 --> 00:46:24

And you go throughout the heavens.

00:46:24 --> 00:46:27

And the hadith says that on the way

00:46:27 --> 00:46:31

up, there are crowds and like, just immense

00:46:31 --> 00:46:33

crowds of mala'ika, angels.

00:46:34 --> 00:46:37

And for the righteous soul, for the good

00:46:37 --> 00:46:42

soul, the angels are like fangirling over you.

00:46:43 --> 00:46:44

Oh my God, is that him?

00:46:45 --> 00:46:47

I heard, I saw him last Ramadan.

00:46:48 --> 00:46:51

He usually prays two rakah, he prayed four.

00:46:53 --> 00:46:53

Right?

00:46:53 --> 00:46:54

He said he was going to finish the

00:46:54 --> 00:46:55

moshaf.

00:46:55 --> 00:46:57

Miskeen, he barely started, right?

00:46:58 --> 00:46:59

But he tried.

00:46:59 --> 00:47:03

And they're like singing your praises the entire

00:47:03 --> 00:47:03

way up.

00:47:04 --> 00:47:07

And all you hear are like people like

00:47:07 --> 00:47:08

celebrating your life.

00:47:09 --> 00:47:12

Like celebrities, like a person who watched your

00:47:12 --> 00:47:13

top 10.

00:47:16 --> 00:47:18

And then, the angel of death takes you

00:47:18 --> 00:47:19

all the way.

00:47:20 --> 00:47:22

And Allah Ta'ala gives permission for you

00:47:22 --> 00:47:26

to enter into the veranda, the balcony of

00:47:26 --> 00:47:28

what will then give you a view into

00:47:28 --> 00:47:28

paradise.

00:47:30 --> 00:47:32

And Allah gives you in that moment, the

00:47:32 --> 00:47:38

righteous soul, special permission to look at your

00:47:38 --> 00:47:44

reward in paradise, your abode, your home, what

00:47:44 --> 00:47:45

you spent your whole life building.

00:47:46 --> 00:47:47

That's your moment.

00:47:48 --> 00:47:50

And you get to see your neighbors, and

00:47:50 --> 00:47:51

you get to see everything.

00:47:52 --> 00:47:54

And the soul looks in disbelief and says,

00:47:54 --> 00:47:55

is that mine?

00:47:55 --> 00:47:56

And the angel of death says, what?

00:47:56 --> 00:47:57

And much more.

00:47:58 --> 00:47:59

That's just one picture.

00:48:01 --> 00:48:03

And then the angel of death takes the

00:48:03 --> 00:48:06

soul very gently down into the resting place,

00:48:06 --> 00:48:07

into the barzakh.

00:48:08 --> 00:48:11

And the soul is put in rest in

00:48:11 --> 00:48:12

that place.

00:48:13 --> 00:48:14

But here's the interesting thing.

00:48:15 --> 00:48:18

There's a life there that is not like

00:48:18 --> 00:48:19

the life here.

00:48:19 --> 00:48:22

The hadith tells us that the soul will

00:48:22 --> 00:48:24

be able to interact with other souls of

00:48:24 --> 00:48:25

people that have passed away.

00:48:26 --> 00:48:29

So if somebody, for example, lost their spouse,

00:48:30 --> 00:48:32

and then they passed away, they're reunited.

00:48:33 --> 00:48:35

They get to have dinner again.

00:48:36 --> 00:48:37

And this time nobody has to cook.

00:48:39 --> 00:48:41

Or if you miss your mom or your

00:48:41 --> 00:48:43

grandmother and you pass away, now you're reunited.

00:48:44 --> 00:48:47

Or if you lost a child, now you

00:48:47 --> 00:48:50

get to raise that child in the akhirah.

00:48:51 --> 00:48:53

And the souls get to spend time together.

00:48:55 --> 00:48:58

And it's basically the best waiting room you

00:48:58 --> 00:48:59

could ever imagine.

00:49:01 --> 00:49:03

Now the hadith goes on and explains the

00:49:03 --> 00:49:03

opposite.

00:49:03 --> 00:49:05

And we don't have a lot of time,

00:49:05 --> 00:49:06

so I'm not going to go through each

00:49:06 --> 00:49:06

detail.

00:49:08 --> 00:49:11

But for the wretched soul, for the one

00:49:11 --> 00:49:14

that never sought repentance from Allah, for the

00:49:14 --> 00:49:18

one that never remembered Allah, that soul, when

00:49:18 --> 00:49:20

the angel of death shows, he's not handsome.

00:49:22 --> 00:49:23

He's intimidating.

00:49:24 --> 00:49:24

He's scary.

00:49:25 --> 00:49:27

And the soul doesn't come out easy.

00:49:27 --> 00:49:29

The soul is screaming for more chances.

00:49:31 --> 00:49:32

But it's pulled out.

00:49:32 --> 00:49:34

The hadith says like sheep's wool is pulled

00:49:34 --> 00:49:35

out of a steel comb.

00:49:36 --> 00:49:38

Doesn't want to come out.

00:49:40 --> 00:49:43

And then the soul is roughly carried.

00:49:43 --> 00:49:45

And the angels that are aligning the sides,

00:49:45 --> 00:49:46

they're not celebrating.

00:49:47 --> 00:49:48

They're saying, Oh man, I remember that guy.

00:49:49 --> 00:49:51

He was horrible to his family.

00:49:52 --> 00:49:53

He never prayed.

00:49:54 --> 00:49:56

He was so dishonest.

00:49:56 --> 00:49:57

He used to backbite.

00:49:58 --> 00:49:59

So instead of hearing all the good things

00:49:59 --> 00:50:01

you did, which is interesting because the good

00:50:01 --> 00:50:02

people also sinned by the way.

00:50:03 --> 00:50:04

But they just made tawbah.

00:50:05 --> 00:50:07

But this person didn't make tawbah.

00:50:08 --> 00:50:10

And they hear all of these things and

00:50:10 --> 00:50:12

then they see their position in the hellfire.

00:50:13 --> 00:50:15

And the person asks the angel, Is that

00:50:15 --> 00:50:15

it?

00:50:15 --> 00:50:17

And the angel says, No, no, much more.

00:50:19 --> 00:50:21

And then that person is flung down to

00:50:21 --> 00:50:21

the earth.

00:50:21 --> 00:50:25

Not gently carried, flung down until their body,

00:50:25 --> 00:50:27

their soul, sorry, roughly hits their resting place.

00:50:27 --> 00:50:30

And they experience the opposite.

00:50:31 --> 00:50:32

Instead of the pleasures, the preview of the

00:50:32 --> 00:50:35

pleasures of paradise, they get the preview of

00:50:35 --> 00:50:35

the torment.

00:50:36 --> 00:50:37

May Allah ta'ala protect us.

00:50:39 --> 00:50:43

When you spend some time reflecting about the

00:50:43 --> 00:50:50

inevitability of our destination, there is no choice.

00:50:50 --> 00:50:54

There's no choice but to feel some change.

00:50:55 --> 00:50:57

Now, let me share with you one thing.

00:50:57 --> 00:50:59

This is the last part of that narration

00:50:59 --> 00:51:00

that I think is beautiful.

00:51:01 --> 00:51:02

For those of you who have lost somebody

00:51:02 --> 00:51:03

but you're still here.

00:51:04 --> 00:51:05

You feel like there's nothing that you can

00:51:05 --> 00:51:06

do.

00:51:06 --> 00:51:07

But Ibn Qayyim shares a narration.

00:51:07 --> 00:51:09

And he says, When a person does a

00:51:09 --> 00:51:13

good deed, donates, reads Quran, does something good,

00:51:14 --> 00:51:16

and intends it for somebody who has passed

00:51:16 --> 00:51:16

away.

00:51:16 --> 00:51:18

We call that like sadaqa jariyya.

00:51:19 --> 00:51:22

So makes dua, reads Quran, gives charity, does

00:51:22 --> 00:51:22

something.

00:51:24 --> 00:51:28

The angels show up with this massive feast.

00:51:30 --> 00:51:31

And they present it in front of the

00:51:31 --> 00:51:32

soul.

00:51:32 --> 00:51:34

All of their favorite foods.

00:51:34 --> 00:51:36

So if you imagine like what the person

00:51:36 --> 00:51:37

that you're thinking about what they used to

00:51:37 --> 00:51:38

love eating.

00:51:38 --> 00:51:40

What was their favorite dish?

00:51:41 --> 00:51:43

Biryani, maqluba.

00:51:43 --> 00:51:44

Like what was it, right?

00:51:45 --> 00:51:45

A good burger.

00:51:47 --> 00:51:49

And when you do something that's good in

00:51:49 --> 00:51:52

this life for them or a good deed

00:51:52 --> 00:51:54

in general as carrying on their lineage, their

00:51:54 --> 00:51:57

legacy, the angels come, they present this meal.

00:51:57 --> 00:51:59

And the soul asks like, What is this?

00:52:00 --> 00:52:01

Where did this come from?

00:52:02 --> 00:52:05

And the angel says, This is because your

00:52:05 --> 00:52:09

daughter, your son, your granddaughter, your grandson, your

00:52:09 --> 00:52:12

sibling, your parent, whoever.

00:52:13 --> 00:52:16

They're doing good deeds and they're dedicating them

00:52:16 --> 00:52:16

for you.

00:52:17 --> 00:52:18

And so we're bringing you a preview of

00:52:18 --> 00:52:19

that reward here.

00:52:20 --> 00:52:21

Enjoy this feast.

00:52:21 --> 00:52:25

And they are given updates on everything that

00:52:25 --> 00:52:26

you do.

00:52:27 --> 00:52:29

So you know how in like the Judeo

00:52:29 --> 00:52:31

-Christian culture they say things like they're watching

00:52:31 --> 00:52:32

down on us from above.

00:52:33 --> 00:52:34

Not quite true.

00:52:34 --> 00:52:36

But we do believe in Islam that the

00:52:36 --> 00:52:41

angels deliver the updates and the good news

00:52:41 --> 00:52:46

about what those who have left us about

00:52:46 --> 00:52:48

what the good things that their beloved family

00:52:48 --> 00:52:49

and friends are still doing.

00:52:49 --> 00:52:52

If you lost somebody and you worry about

00:52:52 --> 00:52:55

impressing them and you worry that you didn't

00:52:55 --> 00:52:57

have a chance to show them how good

00:52:57 --> 00:53:00

you could be in this life, don't worry.

00:53:00 --> 00:53:02

The angels are going to carry all of

00:53:02 --> 00:53:04

the good that you carry and they will

00:53:04 --> 00:53:05

give them that news.

00:53:07 --> 00:53:08

You're going to not be having to tell

00:53:08 --> 00:53:10

them much in Jannah because they will have

00:53:10 --> 00:53:11

been told.

00:53:11 --> 00:53:12

May Allah Ta'ala give us a good

00:53:12 --> 00:53:12

ending.

00:53:13 --> 00:53:14

May Allah Ta'ala reunite us with our

00:53:14 --> 00:53:15

loved ones in paradise.

00:53:16 --> 00:53:17

May Allah Ta'ala make us those who

00:53:17 --> 00:53:19

see the value of time and don't waste

00:53:19 --> 00:53:19

it.

00:53:20 --> 00:53:21

May Allah Ta'ala give us the ability

00:53:21 --> 00:53:23

to take advantage of all of the opportunities

00:53:23 --> 00:53:25

and not to take them for granted.

00:53:25 --> 00:53:28

May Allah Ta'ala protect us from thinking

00:53:28 --> 00:53:30

that we have a longer time than we

00:53:30 --> 00:53:30

do.

00:53:30 --> 00:53:31

Ameen, Ameen, Ya Rabbil Alameen.

00:53:32 --> 00:53:32

Okay.

00:53:32 --> 00:53:34

We'll do a couple of questions InshaAllah and

00:53:34 --> 00:53:35

then we'll head for prayer because prayer is

00:53:35 --> 00:53:36

at 8.45, correct?

00:53:37 --> 00:53:38

Yeah, okay.

00:53:39 --> 00:53:39

Alright.

00:53:39 --> 00:53:40

Bismillah, Bismillah.

00:53:44 --> 00:53:44

Okay.

00:53:45 --> 00:53:46

I know someone.

00:53:46 --> 00:53:47

First question.

00:53:48 --> 00:53:51

I know someone who has a lot of

00:53:51 --> 00:53:56

faith, does not engage in haram and strives

00:53:56 --> 00:53:58

in all aspects to be a good Muslim

00:53:59 --> 00:54:00

but struggles with prayer.

00:54:01 --> 00:54:01

Any advice?

00:54:02 --> 00:54:02

Okay.

00:54:04 --> 00:54:09

So, this is actually not as uncommon as

00:54:09 --> 00:54:13

one would think because the hadith of the

00:54:13 --> 00:54:15

Prophet ﷺ actually explains this.

00:54:16 --> 00:54:18

It's actually a lot easier for a person

00:54:18 --> 00:54:21

to hold themselves back from something than it

00:54:21 --> 00:54:22

is to produce something.

00:54:23 --> 00:54:27

Like, it's harder for a person to do

00:54:27 --> 00:54:29

something good than it is just to not

00:54:29 --> 00:54:29

do something.

00:54:29 --> 00:54:30

That's bad.

00:54:31 --> 00:54:31

Right?

00:54:31 --> 00:54:32

The Prophet ﷺ explained this.

00:54:33 --> 00:54:36

So, it's not completely like crazy to think

00:54:36 --> 00:54:39

of a person that really does well when

00:54:39 --> 00:54:41

it comes to staying away from the things

00:54:41 --> 00:54:43

that are bad but they really, really struggle

00:54:43 --> 00:54:44

with prayer.

00:54:44 --> 00:54:47

It's not an uncommon thing to imagine or

00:54:47 --> 00:54:47

to see.

00:54:48 --> 00:54:50

So, my advice.

00:54:51 --> 00:54:52

There's a lot of things that could be

00:54:52 --> 00:54:53

said about this.

00:54:53 --> 00:54:58

My advice to this person is make prayer,

00:54:58 --> 00:55:02

make salah, the way in which you thank

00:55:02 --> 00:55:02

Allah.

00:55:04 --> 00:55:07

Make salah God's love language.

00:55:08 --> 00:55:11

If you are grateful for anything that you

00:55:11 --> 00:55:15

have, imagine that the only time you can

00:55:15 --> 00:55:17

share that thanks is in prayer.

00:55:18 --> 00:55:19

Just imagine that.

00:55:19 --> 00:55:20

Now, we know that Allah will, you know,

00:55:20 --> 00:55:22

if you say Alhamdulillah at any time, you're

00:55:22 --> 00:55:23

given a reward.

00:55:23 --> 00:55:26

But imagine in your head, the only time

00:55:26 --> 00:55:28

that I can truly thank Allah for what

00:55:28 --> 00:55:31

He's given me or truly ask Allah for

00:55:31 --> 00:55:33

support for difficulty or truly ask Allah for

00:55:33 --> 00:55:36

relief for tough, tough times that I'm going

00:55:36 --> 00:55:38

through, the only time is through prayer.

00:55:38 --> 00:55:41

If you say that I only have five

00:55:41 --> 00:55:45

chances a day to really directly communicate with

00:55:45 --> 00:55:50

Allah without a doubt, maybe not all five,

00:55:50 --> 00:55:51

but without a doubt, you'll start to see

00:55:51 --> 00:55:53

the value of those windows of time.

00:55:53 --> 00:55:54

You'll see the value, okay?

00:55:56 --> 00:55:58

It's a mindset shift.

00:55:58 --> 00:56:00

We have to get away from prayer being

00:56:00 --> 00:56:04

a burden and prayer being a responsibility and

00:56:04 --> 00:56:05

we have to start seeing prayer as an

00:56:05 --> 00:56:06

opportunity.

00:56:06 --> 00:56:07

We have to.

00:56:08 --> 00:56:10

The Prophet, peace be upon him, he described

00:56:10 --> 00:56:11

prayer as an opportunity.

00:56:11 --> 00:56:13

He called it sweetness.

00:56:13 --> 00:56:15

He said it was relaxation.

00:56:16 --> 00:56:18

You know, I'm always stunned by the amount

00:56:18 --> 00:56:19

of people who do yoga but struggle to

00:56:19 --> 00:56:23

pray or who started meditating but struggle to

00:56:23 --> 00:56:26

pray or do morning affirmations or who try

00:56:26 --> 00:56:28

to manifest but struggle to pray.

00:56:28 --> 00:56:30

All of these things that we're seeking in

00:56:30 --> 00:56:33

these other modalities are found in prayer.

00:56:34 --> 00:56:36

They're found there, right?

00:56:36 --> 00:56:39

So try to make that a way to

00:56:39 --> 00:56:42

commit yourself to salah.

00:56:43 --> 00:56:44

Okay, can women go to graves?

00:56:44 --> 00:56:44

Oh, graves.

00:56:45 --> 00:56:45

I didn't answer that question.

00:56:46 --> 00:56:47

Okay, so there's a hadith in which the

00:56:47 --> 00:56:51

Prophet, peace be upon him, he said, لعنة

00:56:51 --> 00:56:54

الله على زائرات القبور القبور أو كما قال

00:56:54 --> 00:56:56

He said, the curse of Allah is upon

00:56:56 --> 00:56:57

the women who visit the graves.

00:56:58 --> 00:56:59

Okay?

00:56:59 --> 00:57:01

And this is the quote that many people

00:57:01 --> 00:57:01

will quote.

00:57:02 --> 00:57:05

But it's only half of the narration which

00:57:05 --> 00:57:08

is actually low-key, really, really bad thing.

00:57:08 --> 00:57:09

You should never quote half of a hadith.

00:57:10 --> 00:57:11

So then the Prophet, peace be upon him,

00:57:11 --> 00:57:12

continued.

00:57:12 --> 00:57:13

And actually I have a funny story.

00:57:13 --> 00:57:15

One time we were doing a tour of

00:57:15 --> 00:57:16

the grave in Medina, Baqiya.

00:57:17 --> 00:57:18

And we had the sisters.

00:57:18 --> 00:57:21

And this man shouts out the first half

00:57:21 --> 00:57:21

of the hadith.

00:57:22 --> 00:57:25

He says, Allah's curse is upon those women

00:57:25 --> 00:57:26

who visit graves.

00:57:26 --> 00:57:27

It was like a drive-by.

00:57:28 --> 00:57:30

And I was with Mufti Kamani.

00:57:30 --> 00:57:33

And Mufti Kamani, he goes, and he quotes

00:57:33 --> 00:57:33

the other half.

00:57:34 --> 00:57:37

And the other half is, those who make

00:57:37 --> 00:57:38

the cemetery a place of worship.

00:57:40 --> 00:57:42

So he screams it back at the guy.

00:57:43 --> 00:57:47

And the guy is like, you know, like...

00:57:48 --> 00:57:51

So, the prohibition is not for women to

00:57:51 --> 00:57:52

not go to graves.

00:57:52 --> 00:57:55

The prohibition is for women to go to

00:57:55 --> 00:57:56

graves if they do this.

00:57:56 --> 00:57:57

Now, it's kind of random.

00:57:57 --> 00:57:58

Why would the Prophet, peace be upon him,

00:57:58 --> 00:57:59

just specifically call out women?

00:58:00 --> 00:58:01

Because that was a cultural practice of the

00:58:01 --> 00:58:02

time.

00:58:03 --> 00:58:05

It was culturally a practice where people would

00:58:05 --> 00:58:11

actually hire whalers to go and to make

00:58:11 --> 00:58:15

the grave a place of some kind of

00:58:16 --> 00:58:18

sanctimonious practice where they would beat their faces

00:58:18 --> 00:58:21

as a way to display honor and grief

00:58:21 --> 00:58:22

for the deceased.

00:58:23 --> 00:58:25

It's like a performance.

00:58:26 --> 00:58:27

And this was pre-Islam.

00:58:27 --> 00:58:28

This was Jahiliyyah.

00:58:28 --> 00:58:30

So then the Prophet, peace be upon him,

00:58:30 --> 00:58:31

he forbade this.

00:58:31 --> 00:58:33

And he cursed anyone who does this.

00:58:34 --> 00:58:38

But the hadith begins with the general and

00:58:38 --> 00:58:40

then it continues with the specific.

00:58:40 --> 00:58:41

But you can't stop halfway.

00:58:42 --> 00:58:42

Right?

00:58:42 --> 00:58:43

You can't stop halfway.

00:58:43 --> 00:58:46

So that's why a lot of people, they

00:58:46 --> 00:58:46

prohibit.

00:58:47 --> 00:58:48

Or I'm sorry, not a lot of people.

00:58:48 --> 00:58:50

That's why some people, they think that the

00:58:50 --> 00:58:51

prohibition is there.

00:58:51 --> 00:58:53

But it is not there unless you're going

00:58:53 --> 00:58:54

to go wail.

00:58:54 --> 00:58:55

If you're going to go wail, don't go.

00:58:55 --> 00:58:57

If you're going to go wail and perform

00:58:57 --> 00:58:58

and make it a place of worship, then

00:58:58 --> 00:58:58

don't go.

00:58:58 --> 00:58:59

Allah knows.

00:58:59 --> 00:58:59

Okay?

00:59:00 --> 00:59:01

But if you're going there to reflect and

00:59:01 --> 00:59:03

to remind yourself of the temporary nature of

00:59:03 --> 00:59:05

this life, then everybody should go.

00:59:07 --> 00:59:09

Is it okay to move out of an

00:59:09 --> 00:59:11

abusive home even though my parents are totally

00:59:11 --> 00:59:11

against it?

00:59:11 --> 00:59:13

I feel anxious and conflicted.

00:59:13 --> 00:59:14

I need this test to end.

00:59:14 --> 00:59:17

So on its face, on its face, the

00:59:17 --> 00:59:19

answer to the question is yes, of course.

00:59:19 --> 00:59:21

If a person is being abused, your primary

00:59:21 --> 00:59:23

responsibility is to seek safety.

00:59:23 --> 00:59:26

But it's important for you to go and

00:59:26 --> 00:59:33

seek a professional opinion about the situation within

00:59:33 --> 00:59:35

your realm of possibility, right?

00:59:35 --> 00:59:36

So go and speak to a licensed clinician.

00:59:37 --> 00:59:38

Explain the situation.

00:59:39 --> 00:59:43

Give them the chance to, what's the word?

00:59:43 --> 00:59:47

Ratify and verify and affirm that yes, in

00:59:47 --> 00:59:49

fact, this is absolutely abuse.

00:59:49 --> 00:59:50

I'm not talking about physical abuse.

00:59:50 --> 00:59:51

Physical abuse, you don't have to ask anybody.

00:59:52 --> 00:59:53

Hey, is this actual abuse?

00:59:53 --> 00:59:53

No.

00:59:53 --> 00:59:54

If it's physical abuse, no, absolutely not.

00:59:55 --> 00:59:55

Get out.

00:59:55 --> 00:59:55

Get out.

00:59:56 --> 00:59:56

Okay?

00:59:58 --> 01:00:01

I'm talking more so about if there is

01:00:01 --> 01:00:04

trouble in the home, right?

01:00:04 --> 01:00:07

What we deem as like toxic behavior, verbal

01:00:07 --> 01:00:08

abuse, emotional abuse, etc.

01:00:08 --> 01:00:10

Not always from spouses, by the way.

01:00:10 --> 01:00:10

It could be from siblings.

01:00:11 --> 01:00:12

It could be from in-laws.

01:00:12 --> 01:00:12

It could be from parents.

01:00:13 --> 01:00:13

May Allah protect us all.

01:00:14 --> 01:00:16

You need to go and confirm that this

01:00:16 --> 01:00:19

is actually what you're seeing is what you're

01:00:19 --> 01:00:19

seeing.

01:00:20 --> 01:00:21

Right?

01:00:21 --> 01:00:22

This is very, very important.

01:00:22 --> 01:00:25

Because a person in an anxious state can

01:00:25 --> 01:00:28

sometimes underplay but sometimes also overplay.

01:00:28 --> 01:00:29

And so you just have to go.

01:00:29 --> 01:00:31

It's just one day, one meeting, going and

01:00:31 --> 01:00:33

talking to somebody who's trained and speaking to

01:00:33 --> 01:00:34

them and seeking that.

01:00:34 --> 01:00:37

If that person does objectively say yes, this

01:00:37 --> 01:00:40

is actually an abusive environment, then without a

01:00:40 --> 01:00:42

doubt, Islam gives the right for a person

01:00:42 --> 01:00:46

to seek self-preservation, without a doubt, right?

01:00:46 --> 01:00:46

Without a doubt.

01:00:46 --> 01:00:49

But my only, outside of physical abuse, which

01:00:49 --> 01:00:52

is its own category, my only request is

01:00:52 --> 01:00:54

that if you feel like you are in

01:00:54 --> 01:00:56

a home that is toxic and or abusive,

01:00:56 --> 01:01:00

etc., just take 50 minutes to go and

01:01:00 --> 01:01:02

speak to a counselor and see and make

01:01:02 --> 01:01:04

sure that what you're seeing is in fact

01:01:04 --> 01:01:05

what you're seeing, inshallah.

01:01:07 --> 01:01:08

The next one.

01:01:08 --> 01:01:11

With 22 upvotes, we see the fresh cut

01:01:11 --> 01:01:12

and the drip.

01:01:13 --> 01:01:14

You and everyone else, how are you?

01:01:15 --> 01:01:15

No, I'm joking.

01:01:16 --> 01:01:17

Allah bless.

01:01:17 --> 01:01:18

Okay.

01:01:21 --> 01:01:22

Salaam, Mustafa.

01:01:22 --> 01:01:24

I'm wondering what the rules are for interactions

01:01:24 --> 01:01:26

with the opposite gender regarding getting to know

01:01:26 --> 01:01:27

them for marriage.

01:01:27 --> 01:01:27

There we go.

01:01:29 --> 01:01:30

Is there any flexibility?

01:01:32 --> 01:01:40

I mean, flexibility is a weird thing to

01:01:40 --> 01:01:41

ask about.

01:01:43 --> 01:01:45

It's not that things are flexible or inflexible.

01:01:45 --> 01:01:46

There's just a way to do it.

01:01:47 --> 01:01:49

The sharia gives us a way to do

01:01:49 --> 01:01:49

it.

01:01:49 --> 01:01:52

Now, according to like your cultural expectations, yes,

01:01:52 --> 01:01:54

it might seem as, it might seem flexible

01:01:54 --> 01:01:57

or according to your cultural expectations, it might

01:01:57 --> 01:01:58

seem conservative.

01:01:58 --> 01:02:00

Like that's irrelevant, right?

01:02:00 --> 01:02:01

It is what it is.

01:02:01 --> 01:02:04

So the best rule that I can give

01:02:04 --> 01:02:06

when it comes to people trying to speak

01:02:06 --> 01:02:09

to somebody for the purpose of marriage is

01:02:09 --> 01:02:12

make sure that every interaction that you have,

01:02:12 --> 01:02:13

first of all, there has to be, of

01:02:13 --> 01:02:15

course, consent, right?

01:02:15 --> 01:02:16

It has to be that it can't be

01:02:16 --> 01:02:16

one-sided.

01:02:17 --> 01:02:18

If it's one-sided, that's called stalking.

01:02:19 --> 01:02:19

So stop.

01:02:20 --> 01:02:21

Do not do that.

01:02:21 --> 01:02:22

Seriously, do not do that.

01:02:23 --> 01:02:25

Make sure that the way that you feel

01:02:25 --> 01:02:26

is the way that they feel, okay?

01:02:26 --> 01:02:27

That's a good starting point.

01:02:29 --> 01:02:31

If you have confirmation that, in fact, the

01:02:31 --> 01:02:33

way you feel is the way they feel,

01:02:33 --> 01:02:36

then make sure that your conversations are PPL,

01:02:37 --> 01:02:38

okay?

01:02:38 --> 01:02:41

Public, purposeful, and limited.

01:02:43 --> 01:02:46

Public here means there has to be knowledge

01:02:47 --> 01:02:51

amongst especially the wali of the girl, but

01:02:51 --> 01:02:55

really it should be the family, that this

01:02:55 --> 01:02:57

conversation's happening, number one.

01:02:57 --> 01:02:59

Also, it should not be like a private

01:02:59 --> 01:03:00

dating thing.

01:03:00 --> 01:03:02

It should definitely be, you don't have to

01:03:02 --> 01:03:04

announce, hey, I'm talking to somebody, but you

01:03:04 --> 01:03:06

also should not go to lengths to hide

01:03:06 --> 01:03:07

it, right?

01:03:07 --> 01:03:10

Because that could be a sign of something.

01:03:10 --> 01:03:13

Purposeful is that the communication should not be,

01:03:14 --> 01:03:15

the way that I explain this is it

01:03:15 --> 01:03:17

should not be like a constant thread all

01:03:17 --> 01:03:20

day, like just an iMessage thread that never

01:03:20 --> 01:03:22

ends, from 8 a.m. till midnight, we're

01:03:22 --> 01:03:23

just constantly texting.

01:03:23 --> 01:03:26

No, if you're in the stage where you're

01:03:26 --> 01:03:28

getting to know each other, just schedule some

01:03:28 --> 01:03:31

phone calls, or give yourself a window of

01:03:31 --> 01:03:32

time where texting is okay.

01:03:33 --> 01:03:34

Not late at night.

01:03:35 --> 01:03:37

I know that I'm big uncle-ing right

01:03:37 --> 01:03:38

now, big time uncle-ing right now, but

01:03:38 --> 01:03:39

don't do it.

01:03:39 --> 01:03:40

Late at night is not good.

01:03:40 --> 01:03:42

It's not good, all right?

01:03:43 --> 01:03:46

That's when all the premature I love you's

01:03:46 --> 01:03:47

come out.

01:03:47 --> 01:03:47

Just stop.

01:03:49 --> 01:03:50

Daytime is safe time.

01:03:51 --> 01:03:52

Nighttime is sleep time.

01:03:52 --> 01:03:53

Go to sleep.

01:03:54 --> 01:03:54

Wake up.

01:03:54 --> 01:03:56

If you want to say something at night,

01:03:56 --> 01:03:58

draft it, wake up at Fajr and see

01:03:58 --> 01:03:58

if it still makes sense.

01:04:00 --> 01:04:02

If it doesn't make sense, Allah saved you.

01:04:04 --> 01:04:04

Okay?

01:04:05 --> 01:04:06

Purposeful.

01:04:06 --> 01:04:08

Make sure your communication is purposeful.

01:04:09 --> 01:04:10

And limited, which means what?

01:04:10 --> 01:04:13

Which means that this should not go on

01:04:13 --> 01:04:13

forever.

01:04:14 --> 01:04:16

I believe that two people should know if

01:04:16 --> 01:04:18

they should get married within 90 days.

01:04:19 --> 01:04:22

Anything shorter can be doable, but it has

01:04:22 --> 01:04:22

to...

01:04:22 --> 01:04:28

Anything longer is like, I don't know.

01:04:29 --> 01:04:30

If it looks like a duck and quacks,

01:04:30 --> 01:04:31

it's a duck.

01:04:31 --> 01:04:33

If it doesn't, you're not going to make

01:04:33 --> 01:04:34

a duck out of it.

01:04:36 --> 01:04:37

Just read it.

01:04:37 --> 01:04:38

Three months.

01:04:38 --> 01:04:38

Three months!

01:04:38 --> 01:04:39

Three months is a lot.

01:04:39 --> 01:04:40

Relax, everybody.

01:04:41 --> 01:04:42

See, people are shocked here.

01:04:43 --> 01:04:45

Your parents didn't even talk once before they

01:04:45 --> 01:04:46

got married, right?

01:04:47 --> 01:04:48

They met on their wedding.

01:04:48 --> 01:04:49

They're like, hey, it's not like them.

01:04:51 --> 01:04:52

And you're here, and they're still together.

01:04:52 --> 01:04:53

Okay.

01:04:53 --> 01:04:54

Well, some cases.

01:04:56 --> 01:04:57

That's a different story.

01:04:57 --> 01:04:57

Okay.

01:04:58 --> 01:04:59

We'll do one last one.

01:04:59 --> 01:05:00

Oh, this is a good question to end

01:05:00 --> 01:05:00

on.

01:05:01 --> 01:05:01

Okay.

01:05:03 --> 01:05:03

Okay.

01:05:04 --> 01:05:10

Why do we see our loved ones perhaps

01:05:10 --> 01:05:13

dying or distressed in our dreams?

01:05:14 --> 01:05:16

What is the best way to deal with

01:05:16 --> 01:05:16

it?

01:05:17 --> 01:05:18

Could it be from Shaytan, or is it

01:05:18 --> 01:05:19

a sign from Allah?

01:05:20 --> 01:05:20

Okay.

01:05:22 --> 01:05:22

Dreams.

01:05:23 --> 01:05:25

I'm going to explain this again, one time.

01:05:26 --> 01:05:30

Dreams in Islam can come from a couple

01:05:30 --> 01:05:31

different categories.

01:05:31 --> 01:05:33

Two different categories, really.

01:05:33 --> 01:05:38

One is meaningless, which means it does not

01:05:38 --> 01:05:39

have a meaning.

01:05:40 --> 01:05:40

Okay.

01:05:41 --> 01:05:44

It could be from an overactive subconscious.

01:05:44 --> 01:05:46

It could be that you had something, like

01:05:46 --> 01:05:47

too much milk.

01:05:48 --> 01:05:48

Who knows?

01:05:49 --> 01:05:49

That's one side.

01:05:49 --> 01:05:52

The other side is a dream that has

01:05:52 --> 01:05:52

meaning.

01:05:54 --> 01:05:56

In these, the meaning is not to be

01:05:56 --> 01:05:57

interpreted literally.

01:05:57 --> 01:05:59

There is actually a science behind it.

01:06:00 --> 01:06:02

So it's not always what you're seeing is

01:06:02 --> 01:06:03

what the dream is.

01:06:04 --> 01:06:05

There are symbols.

01:06:06 --> 01:06:07

There are ways in which people can understand

01:06:07 --> 01:06:13

dreams that are absolutely not literally read line

01:06:13 --> 01:06:14

by line.

01:06:14 --> 01:06:15

So if you see something in a dream,

01:06:15 --> 01:06:19

you never ever carry that visual or that

01:06:19 --> 01:06:21

interpretation as literal.

01:06:21 --> 01:06:22

Ever.

01:06:23 --> 01:06:24

Okay.

01:06:24 --> 01:06:26

The only time the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam

01:06:26 --> 01:06:28

said that if you see this in a

01:06:28 --> 01:06:30

dream it's literal is when he said, if

01:06:30 --> 01:06:32

you see me, then you saw me.

01:06:33 --> 01:06:34

And that's it.

01:06:34 --> 01:06:35

Everything else.

01:06:35 --> 01:06:36

So if you see a dream and it's

01:06:36 --> 01:06:40

distressing, the visual may have been distressing, but

01:06:40 --> 01:06:43

that visual does not necessarily correlate with a

01:06:43 --> 01:06:43

meaning.

01:06:44 --> 01:06:46

For example, and we have to go pray,

01:06:46 --> 01:06:47

so we're going to head out after this.

01:06:48 --> 01:06:51

There was once a person that came to

01:06:51 --> 01:06:52

me and said, I saw a dream of

01:06:52 --> 01:06:52

this.

01:06:52 --> 01:06:55

It was like a really, really traumatic childbirth,

01:06:56 --> 01:06:56

basically.

01:06:57 --> 01:06:58

And they were like, does this mean bad

01:06:58 --> 01:06:59

things?

01:06:59 --> 01:07:00

And the Sheikh said, no, this means that

01:07:00 --> 01:07:02

there's a rebirth in your life, like a

01:07:02 --> 01:07:03

restart.

01:07:04 --> 01:07:05

It was a really traumatic visual, but it

01:07:05 --> 01:07:06

was a really good meaning.

01:07:07 --> 01:07:07

Right?

01:07:08 --> 01:07:09

And again, I'm not trained in this, so

01:07:09 --> 01:07:10

don't ask me, please.

01:07:12 --> 01:07:13

But just know that.

01:07:13 --> 01:07:15

Carry that as a thing.

01:07:15 --> 01:07:15

Okay?

01:07:15 --> 01:07:16

It's not literal.

01:07:16 --> 01:07:17

It's symbolic.

01:07:17 --> 01:07:19

May Allah Ta'ala make it easy, and

01:07:19 --> 01:07:20

may Allah Ta'ala give us all goodness

01:07:20 --> 01:07:21

from these gatherings.

01:07:22 --> 01:07:23

Let's go ahead and head to the prayer

01:07:23 --> 01:07:24

area.

01:07:24 --> 01:07:25

If you can just stack the chairs on

01:07:25 --> 01:07:27

your way out and line up the backjacks.

01:07:28 --> 01:07:30

We're going to skip questions tonight because I

01:07:30 --> 01:07:31

want to go make isha, inshallah.

01:07:31 --> 01:07:32

As-salamu alaykum.

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