AbdelRahman Murphy – Heartwork Guided Steps To The Path Of Allah #16

AbdelRahman Murphy
AI: Summary ©
The importance of the Prophet's teachings and honesty in media coverage can lead to failure, success, and success in relationships. The speaker gives advice on managing one's life, avoiding false accusations, trusting oneself, and avoiding negative behavior. The importance of consistency and gratitude is emphasized, along with the use of words like "has been" to describe a person as a "has been." Anxprinting thoughts and fear can be a sign of faith, and anxiety is a human experience. The Innocence Project petition is encouraged, and individuals are encouraged to sign the Innocence Project petition to avoid giving out information.
AI: Transcript ©
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Okay, Salaam Alaikum, Salaam Alaikum, Bismillah, Bismillah walhamdulillah

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wa salatu wa salamu ala rasulillahi wa ala

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aadihi wa ashabihi ajma'in.

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Welcome home.

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Alhamdulillah, it's good to see everybody.

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Our first post-Maghrib heartwork.

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Alhamdulillah, I know we've been sliding the time

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up, you know, every week by about a

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few minutes.

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But now, alhamdulillah, we're post-Maghrib.

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Actually our time is coming in at 8

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.45. We pray here at 9, so it's

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going to be a little bit more time,

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a little bit more comfort in terms of

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Q&A and things like that.

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Alhamdulillah, speaking of Q&A, if you want

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to send your questions, slido.com, that's S

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-L-I-D-O.com, and you can

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type in heartwork as the code, and we

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will get the questions inshallah here.

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Please don't upvote all the marriage questions.

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No, just joking.

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You can do what you want inshallah.

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Okay, bismillah.

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Alright, so moving or continuing on now with

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Imam al-Muhasibi's text, where he's giving us

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now some of the secrets in terms of

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growing our spiritual strength and coming closer to

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Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.

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There's a large conversation that we're embarking on

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right now, which is the importance of truth.

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And truth is, you know, it's manifest by

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Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala's revelation.

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We know what is true and what is

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false because of Allah.

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Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala taught us through

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the Quran the truth of ourselves, the truth

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of the universe, of the world, and we

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understand better how to recognize the truth because

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of this wahi, because of this revelation.

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And we understand how to replicate the truest

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way of living because of the Prophet Muhammad

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sallallahu alaihi wasallam.

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So the big conversation now about truth, there's

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obviously the element of recognizing it, being able

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to appreciate it, being able to stay committed

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to it, all of these are elements of

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faith.

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And the counter of truth, of course, is

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falsehood, is lying or something that is untrue.

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And so Imam Muhasabi now, he starts giving

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us some advice about being people that are

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truthful.

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And one of the things that he mentions

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that we left off on last week was,

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if a person is not truthful, if they

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lie, then they won't be able to recognize

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the truth when they see it even within

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themselves.

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So we left off on this major point,

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and we started to discuss and talk about

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this idea of making sure that no matter

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what, we prefer the truth in every single

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situation that we find ourselves in, even if

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that truth is going to make us uncomfortable.

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We tell a lot of jokes, for example,

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about wanting to know what the ingredients are

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before you eat something, and how your nafs

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has this internal battle.

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Does it have gelatin or not?

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If I don't read the ingredients, will Allah

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hold me accountable?

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The truth in that situation, or if I

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ask the waiter or the waitress, did you

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cook this with this, or did you mix

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this with this, or is this actually halal?

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You're like, I think someone told me it

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was halal.

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And it's like, where?

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You're like, there was a comment on TikTok.

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I was like, unfortunately, that is not a

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fatwa, an Islamic law, right?

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So all of these matters, you know, we

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joke about them, but there are bigger matters.

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There are, of course, much more serious matters.

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And even in those serious matters, we have

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to prefer the truth over what we want.

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And we seek, and we ask Allah to

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make our hearts yearn for the truth, even

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if it's difficult.

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We ask Allah to give us that.

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Say ameen.

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And so he says, prefer the truth in

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every scenario.

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That will mean that you appreciate good advice.

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That will mean that you don't want to

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spend your time around fake people because he

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says that people who don't give you good

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advice, they don't actually care for you.

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People who ignore nasiha, they actually, without realizing

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it, they're okay watching you fail, right?

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Because people need truth in order to succeed.

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And then he mentions that part of the

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difficulty in being a person of truth is

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when you are a person, or I am

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a person, that frequently engages in telling lies.

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And we talked about the dangers of lying.

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We opened up the conversation at the end

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of last week's session.

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But I wanted to talk a little bit

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about why lying is so dangerous.

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You know, we mentioned last week like this,

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I'm on the way, right?

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I'm on the way, the famous lie.

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I'm on the way.

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One time, this is not an exaggeration, this

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is 100% a true story.

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Somebody told me I'm on the way and

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I heard a toilet flush in the background.

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They were in a public restroom, right?

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And I didn't say anything because again, I'm

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not trying to like, you know, I'm not

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trying to ruin that person's, you know, just

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self-worth in that moment.

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Like what car has a toilet in it,

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you know?

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But again, a seemingly insignificant lie, okay?

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Or, oh yeah, it's my work, like I

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wrote it.

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Or, oh yeah, I did this.

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Or, oh yeah, this reference or this, that.

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Lying is pervasive and it has become the

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norm.

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You feel like if you don't lie, then

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you won't be able to get ahead.

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You won't be able to make progress because

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everyone else is lying.

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And so if I'm gonna remain truthful, I'm

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actually obstructing my own success.

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But that's the fundamental misunderstanding of where success

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even comes from.

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Success does not come from you, it comes

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from Allah.

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And anybody who tries to seek success through

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something that does not please Allah inevitably is

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going to find failure.

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And anyone who's afraid of failure because of

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what they're doing to stay close to Allah,

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no matter how apparent their failure is, they

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will end up being successful in the long

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run, right?

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The person who stays principled will always win.

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So the commentary here mentions that honesty leads

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to the pleasure of Allah subhanahu wa ta

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'ala, even in the most difficult situations.

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It's one of the defining characteristics of the

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believer.

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We're gonna share a few narrations that are

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interesting.

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He said that the Prophet ﷺ mentioned, this

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is amazing, the Prophet ﷺ, he mentioned, according

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to the variety of ahadith that we have,

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that the believer can struggle with many sins.

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The believer can be many things, right?

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We mentioned this even last week.

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The believer can be a person, for example,

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that struggles deeply with prayer.

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They can struggle with substance abuse and addiction.

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The believer can struggle with all types of

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difficult personal, mental and emotional ailments.

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That does not discount a person's belief.

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If somebody says, I'm depressed, a person who

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is Muslim, their depression does not remove their

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Islam.

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It's a struggle.

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If a person has an inclination, for example,

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to be impunctual or late, that does not

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make them any less of a Muslim per

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se, right?

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Even the clothing that we wear, it may

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not be the best or even approved in

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Islam, but it doesn't make you a non

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-Muslim.

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But the Prophet ﷺ, he said very clearly,

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that one of the things that a believer

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cannot be is a liar.

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He cannot be it.

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He or she, if they become a liar,

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their belief becomes incompatible with the lying.

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It's like oil and water just will never

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mix.

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And if you think about the Prophet ﷺ

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himself, what was the one thing, the one

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thing amidst all of the things that were

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said about him, the harassment, the abuse, what

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was the one thing that nobody could ever

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pick on?

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Isa ﷺ.

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The fact that he was the truthful one.

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The fact that he was a sadiq and

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al-ameen.

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He was trustworthy, which by the way, not

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lying is two-sided.

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There's verbal honesty and there's also active honesty,

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right?

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A lot of us maybe are good at

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like the whole verbal honesty thing, but then

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we're like not trustworthy, right?

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We're like not good with our commitments.

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We tend to overlook things very, you know,

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negligently.

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So there's verbal and there's active.

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The Prophet ﷺ was perfect in both.

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And so I want you to imagine these

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people that desperately, desperately want to prove him

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wrong.

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More than anything, that's what they're looking for.

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And they have nothing in the department of

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honesty and truth.

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Untouchable.

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You know, when you watch these presidential debates,

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man, we are cooked by the way.

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We are absolutely cooked.

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I don't know if we're cooked.

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Yeah, that's bad.

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We are cooked.

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If you don't believe in the Day of

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Judgment, now is a good time to start,

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okay?

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Because it's just there's, okay, the inevitable, okay.

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Anyways, just say the Shahada often.

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Okay, so when you watch these debates, what's

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the first thing they do, right?

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The news commentators, the journalists, they do like

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a fact check because they understand that lying

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is a mechanism that is used to prove

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and disprove someone's integrity.

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And so all of these politicians, like when

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they engage in this kind of, even the

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ones that we support, even the ones that

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we put all of our hope and dreams

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behind, Bernie, right?

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Even the ones that we thought, right?

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We thought, we believed naively that this one

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gets it.

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They get me, right?

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Even people reading khatms.

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I remember there was a khatm for Bernie

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Sanders, right?

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As if there's not like a greater reason

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to read the Quran for, okay?

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There's a khatm for Bernie's nomination, right?

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People didn't have wudu apparently because he never

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got it.

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So, but all of these, right?

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And then subhanallah, you find out that even

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the most truthful candidate that you thought was

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truthful, they have their fair share of dishonesty,

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subhanallah, as we all do.

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May Allah forgive us.

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So here's the point though.

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The point is in the realm of disproving

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somebody, you need there to be a hint

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of them being a liar in order for

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your effort to succeed.

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With the Prophet, there was none.

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Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

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Okay?

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So think about that.

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They disagreed with what he said.

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They didn't like the message that he was

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preaching.

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And they made that very clear.

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They disagreed and challenged him on the basis

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of the message.

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When they said to him, Surah Qaaf actually

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says, it says, is it true that we're

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gonna die and then come back?

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هذا شيء عجيب.

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This is a very strange thing, right?

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إذا متنا وكنا ترابا ذلك رجع بعيد.

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Are we gonna die, turn to dust and

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then be returned?

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What a very far off idea.

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So they challenged the content of the message,

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but they never ever could say, yeah, he's

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not really trustworthy.

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Because from day one, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,

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he was the most trustworthy.

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So every Muslim that follows this messenger, peace

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be upon him, has to adopt that.

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Not every person that you know is gonna

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agree with you, but they should never find

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you to be a liar or someone who

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is dishonest.

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So he says, the commentator, lying destroys the

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ethical idea that our religion is predicated upon.

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Once truth is gone, then all actions that

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are associated with good character and maintaining relationships,

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they all disappear.

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Think about it, in any relationship, what's the

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one thing that's the hardest thing to build

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back?

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Trust, not just romantic relationship.

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Oh, the Slido is popping off right now.

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What if he's a liar, right?

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Red flags, am I right, girls?

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Okay, so, or she, right?

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Oh, God, what have I done?

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Any relationship at work, right?

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Employer, employee.

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If someone lies, if you're working on a

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team with colleagues and somebody lies, the reality

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is it's gonna be hard to have trust

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in that person again when matters count, when

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things are really important.

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Are you ever gonna put something on that

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person's plate again?

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If they failed you the first time, probably

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not.

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So all of these are all predicated upon

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the importance of not lying, of being a

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person who's trustworthy.

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Thus, he says, the Muslim cannot be a

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liar and one who constantly lies has no

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ethical standard.

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All they look for is their own self

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-interest.

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Lying only makes sense to those people that

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are narcissists.

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That's why they can justify it.

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Liars justify their lies by putting themselves in

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the center of the universe.

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I had to lie, why?

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Because self-preservation.

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I had to take care of me.

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Why did you lie in your resume?

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I need the job.

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Why did you lie to your wife?

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I can't get her upset.

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Why did you lie to your husband?

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Because the reality is, subhanallah, that lying centers

00:13:07 --> 00:13:09

you as the person instead of centering Allah,

00:13:10 --> 00:13:10

subhanahu wa ta'ala.

00:13:10 --> 00:13:13

If lying serves to advance those interests, people

00:13:13 --> 00:13:14

resort to lying.

00:13:15 --> 00:13:17

And he says, this is the approach of

00:13:17 --> 00:13:18

the hypocrites in their life.

00:13:19 --> 00:13:21

The hypocrite is a person who then by

00:13:21 --> 00:13:23

definition, are you ready for this?

00:13:23 --> 00:13:24

Is living a lie.

00:13:25 --> 00:13:26

Sounds like a Taylor Swift song.

00:13:26 --> 00:13:29

Thus, we find that no one is more

00:13:29 --> 00:13:31

subject to the anger of Allah, may Allah

00:13:31 --> 00:13:33

protect us, than the hypocrites because they are

00:13:33 --> 00:13:34

living a lie.

00:13:35 --> 00:13:36

They are actually living a lie.

00:13:36 --> 00:13:37

Why?

00:13:37 --> 00:13:41

Think about, subhanallah, the people that are so

00:13:41 --> 00:13:45

embedded in their lies that when they see

00:13:45 --> 00:13:46

the truth of who they are, they can't

00:13:46 --> 00:13:48

recognize themselves anymore.

00:13:48 --> 00:13:50

Like they lay down at night.

00:13:50 --> 00:13:50

Remember we talked about that?

00:13:51 --> 00:13:53

The person you present yourself to be, the

00:13:53 --> 00:13:55

person your social circle knows you as, the

00:13:55 --> 00:13:56

person you think of yourself as, and then

00:13:56 --> 00:13:58

the person you come to realize you are.

00:13:58 --> 00:14:02

The distance between person A and person D,

00:14:02 --> 00:14:06

right, 1 and 4, if that's huge, that's

00:14:06 --> 00:14:06

a problem.

00:14:06 --> 00:14:08

The gap between who you present yourself as

00:14:08 --> 00:14:10

and who you really are cannot be that

00:14:10 --> 00:14:13

big because that's one of the greater signs

00:14:13 --> 00:14:13

of hypocrisy.

00:14:13 --> 00:14:14

May Allah protect us.

00:14:15 --> 00:14:16

That's why Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, He

00:14:16 --> 00:14:19

said that verily the hypocrites will be in

00:14:19 --> 00:14:21

the lowest level of the hellfire.

00:14:22 --> 00:14:25

As a result of this, there's advice from

00:14:25 --> 00:14:26

Ibn Abbas.

00:14:26 --> 00:14:28

Okay, and we'll share this in a second.

00:14:28 --> 00:14:29

Let me actually go to the other side.

00:14:30 --> 00:14:31

Some of the great companions of the Prophet,

00:14:31 --> 00:14:34

peace be upon him, they talked about how

00:14:34 --> 00:14:35

important truth is.

00:14:35 --> 00:14:36

In fact, if you look at these books,

00:14:36 --> 00:14:38

there's literally this book called, it's a great

00:14:38 --> 00:14:40

book, it's called Hayat Al-Salaf Bain Al

00:14:40 --> 00:14:42

-Qawli Wa Al-'Amal, which basically means the lives

00:14:42 --> 00:14:46

of those great companions, those great generations, from

00:14:46 --> 00:14:47

their language, the words they used, and the

00:14:47 --> 00:14:48

actions.

00:14:48 --> 00:14:50

It's descriptions of them and their statements.

00:14:50 --> 00:14:53

And there's a chapter literally called, Hifdh Al

00:14:53 --> 00:14:57

-Lisan Min Al-Kathab, that protecting the tongue

00:14:57 --> 00:14:57

from lying.

00:14:58 --> 00:15:00

And so this is something that scholars took

00:15:00 --> 00:15:01

very seriously.

00:15:01 --> 00:15:02

Now I want you to appreciate some of

00:15:02 --> 00:15:03

these statements.

00:15:03 --> 00:15:05

The first is from Abu Bakr Al-Siddiq,

00:15:05 --> 00:15:07

radiyallahu anhu, the best friend of the Prophet,

00:15:07 --> 00:15:07

peace be upon him.

00:15:08 --> 00:15:13

He advised people and he said, beware of

00:15:13 --> 00:15:14

telling lies.

00:15:14 --> 00:15:15

This is a khutbah he was giving.

00:15:16 --> 00:15:16

He was on the member.

00:15:17 --> 00:15:18

Beware of telling lies.

00:15:19 --> 00:15:19

Why?

00:15:19 --> 00:15:22

Because he says, ayyuha al-naas, iyyakum al

00:15:22 --> 00:15:22

-kathab.

00:15:22 --> 00:15:23

Why?

00:15:23 --> 00:15:26

Fa innahu majanibu al-iman.

00:15:28 --> 00:15:31

Lying, it pushes iman away.

00:15:31 --> 00:15:32

Have you guys ever seen like how a

00:15:32 --> 00:15:35

magnet repels when you have the charges that

00:15:35 --> 00:15:38

are opposing one, or that are the same

00:15:38 --> 00:15:39

charge towards each other, right?

00:15:40 --> 00:15:41

How they push each other away?

00:15:41 --> 00:15:43

Have you ever seen something that in the

00:15:43 --> 00:15:45

presence of another substance, it runs?

00:15:45 --> 00:15:48

I want you to imagine that when iman

00:15:48 --> 00:15:50

is present in a vessel in the heart,

00:15:50 --> 00:15:53

and the person begins to develop a propensity

00:15:53 --> 00:15:56

for telling lies, the iman starts to run

00:15:56 --> 00:15:56

away.

00:15:56 --> 00:15:57

This is the statement of Abu Bakr Al

00:15:57 --> 00:15:58

-Siddiq, radiyallahu anhu.

00:15:58 --> 00:16:01

Another statement, and this one is very subhanallah,

00:16:01 --> 00:16:03

very difficult to read, because every person has

00:16:03 --> 00:16:06

to understand this with their own self in

00:16:06 --> 00:16:07

the center of it, right?

00:16:07 --> 00:16:09

Umar, radiyallahu anhu, who is a very very

00:16:09 --> 00:16:12

tough person, but he was very soft in

00:16:12 --> 00:16:13

his own way.

00:16:13 --> 00:16:17

He says, it's kind of an interesting translation,

00:16:18 --> 00:16:18

so I'll do my best.

00:16:18 --> 00:16:24

He says, we love people until we see

00:16:24 --> 00:16:25

something from them.

00:16:25 --> 00:16:30

What he's saying effectively is everybody loves somebody

00:16:30 --> 00:16:33

until they see the truth of something in

00:16:33 --> 00:16:35

them, whether or not they qualify.

00:16:36 --> 00:16:38

So it's like if I were to title

00:16:38 --> 00:16:40

this, I would title it, Everyone looks good

00:16:40 --> 00:16:41

from far away.

00:16:42 --> 00:16:44

Everyone looks fine from far away.

00:16:44 --> 00:16:47

So he says, we love people, people are

00:16:47 --> 00:16:50

beloved to us until we see certain things.

00:16:51 --> 00:16:54

So then he says, we love people when

00:16:54 --> 00:16:58

it comes to the goodness of their name

00:16:58 --> 00:16:59

and their reputation.

00:17:00 --> 00:17:01

We hear good things about people.

00:17:01 --> 00:17:02

What's the first thing that you hear about

00:17:02 --> 00:17:03

somebody?

00:17:03 --> 00:17:04

What's the first thing that you know about

00:17:04 --> 00:17:05

somebody?

00:17:05 --> 00:17:06

Oh hey, have you met Ahmed?

00:17:06 --> 00:17:08

Yeah, Ahmed's a really nice guy.

00:17:09 --> 00:17:10

Instantly in your head, you're thinking to yourself,

00:17:11 --> 00:17:13

yeah, Ahmed, Aisha, they're good people.

00:17:13 --> 00:17:15

You have this predisposition now.

00:17:15 --> 00:17:19

You think well of them, he says, until

00:17:19 --> 00:17:22

we see them ourselves, and then the love

00:17:22 --> 00:17:23

is either proven or disproven.

00:17:24 --> 00:17:26

Okay, thumma, and then he says the next

00:17:26 --> 00:17:28

step, after we've seen them, and we see

00:17:28 --> 00:17:30

how they move and how they act and

00:17:30 --> 00:17:33

how they behave, he says, we love these

00:17:33 --> 00:17:37

people until we get a really, really in

00:17:37 --> 00:17:39

-depth taste of their character.

00:17:39 --> 00:17:40

So think about it.

00:17:40 --> 00:17:41

You met someone for the first time.

00:17:42 --> 00:17:44

You know, first impressions are everything.

00:17:44 --> 00:17:45

As-salamu alaykum, wa-alaykum as-salam, how

00:17:45 --> 00:17:46

are you?

00:17:46 --> 00:17:48

Masha'Allah, it's nice to meet you.

00:17:48 --> 00:17:49

I've heard good things about you.

00:17:49 --> 00:17:51

And in your head, you're already kind of

00:17:51 --> 00:17:51

measuring this person.

00:17:52 --> 00:17:53

You're like, oh, they're very nice.

00:17:53 --> 00:17:54

Handshake wasn't too hard.

00:17:55 --> 00:17:57

People who try to overdo the handshake, right,

00:17:57 --> 00:17:58

I need you to relax.

00:17:58 --> 00:18:01

Okay, I have strong hands too, but I

00:18:01 --> 00:18:03

don't think anyone needs to prove it to

00:18:03 --> 00:18:03

anybody.

00:18:03 --> 00:18:06

Okay, so the handshake was very nice.

00:18:06 --> 00:18:07

Masha'Allah, she has a veilah scarf.

00:18:08 --> 00:18:11

Okay, rootsdfw.org slash sustainers, insha'Allah.

00:18:12 --> 00:18:15

So we make these very surface-level assumptions.

00:18:15 --> 00:18:18

And then you're going out to get coffee.

00:18:18 --> 00:18:21

And you observe how this person orders their

00:18:21 --> 00:18:21

drink.

00:18:22 --> 00:18:23

So you see this person is ordering their

00:18:23 --> 00:18:24

drink.

00:18:24 --> 00:18:27

They say, yeah, I'll take an iced latte,

00:18:28 --> 00:18:28

right?

00:18:28 --> 00:18:30

And the person goes, you want a latte?

00:18:31 --> 00:18:33

And in that moment they say, yeah, iced

00:18:33 --> 00:18:33

please.

00:18:34 --> 00:18:35

Very gentle.

00:18:35 --> 00:18:36

Versus, I said iced.

00:18:37 --> 00:18:39

I said iced.

00:18:41 --> 00:18:41

Right?

00:18:41 --> 00:18:44

And you witness that and you're like, you're

00:18:44 --> 00:18:47

either just like in love with how gentle

00:18:47 --> 00:18:50

they are or you're repulsed at how horrible

00:18:50 --> 00:18:50

they are.

00:18:50 --> 00:18:52

One of my teachers, by the way, SubhanAllah,

00:18:52 --> 00:18:53

one of my masha'ikh, he said, you

00:18:53 --> 00:18:55

can know everything you need to know about

00:18:55 --> 00:18:57

somebody, whether it's like a future potential spouse

00:18:57 --> 00:18:59

or anybody, by how they treat people who

00:18:59 --> 00:19:01

are in the service industry.

00:19:01 --> 00:19:03

He said, you can know everything you need

00:19:03 --> 00:19:03

to know.

00:19:04 --> 00:19:05

How do they treat people who work retail,

00:19:06 --> 00:19:08

work at restaurants, are serving people on airplanes?

00:19:08 --> 00:19:09

How do they treat them?

00:19:10 --> 00:19:11

They say, you can see.

00:19:11 --> 00:19:12

Because why?

00:19:12 --> 00:19:14

Because in that moment that person is effectively

00:19:14 --> 00:19:19

displaying how they treat the average person in

00:19:19 --> 00:19:19

their eyes.

00:19:20 --> 00:19:22

Everybody can treat people well if they think

00:19:22 --> 00:19:23

of them as special.

00:19:23 --> 00:19:25

But what about if they think of this

00:19:25 --> 00:19:26

person as neutral?

00:19:26 --> 00:19:27

How would they treat them?

00:19:27 --> 00:19:29

So in that moment, Allah says, we think

00:19:29 --> 00:19:31

so well of you based on your reputation

00:19:31 --> 00:19:34

until we see you order coffee or until

00:19:34 --> 00:19:36

we see how you talk to somebody or

00:19:36 --> 00:19:38

until you pick up the phone and it's

00:19:38 --> 00:19:41

someone from your family or your relative or

00:19:41 --> 00:19:43

your friend and we see how you talk.

00:19:43 --> 00:19:44

And then He says, by the way, this

00:19:44 --> 00:19:45

is not judging.

00:19:45 --> 00:19:46

Allah is not judging anybody.

00:19:47 --> 00:19:49

This is just a natural read on people.

00:19:49 --> 00:19:52

And then He says, subhanAllah, after that, He

00:19:52 --> 00:19:55

says, and after we fall in love with

00:19:55 --> 00:19:57

good character, after we fall in love with

00:19:57 --> 00:19:59

your reputation and see good character, He says,

00:20:00 --> 00:20:02

the last frontier of whether or not we

00:20:02 --> 00:20:05

can love a person, a friend or anybody,

00:20:05 --> 00:20:08

is when we see if their speech is

00:20:08 --> 00:20:13

truthful and if they honor their responsibilities, their

00:20:13 --> 00:20:15

amanah, if they keep their trust.

00:20:17 --> 00:20:19

Again, the beginning of this hadith or this

00:20:19 --> 00:20:21

statement, this athar, is basically what?

00:20:21 --> 00:20:23

Everybody can be impressive from far away.

00:20:24 --> 00:20:25

Everybody can.

00:20:26 --> 00:20:28

Every single person can appear to be something

00:20:28 --> 00:20:28

from far away.

00:20:29 --> 00:20:32

The beard, the kufi, right?

00:20:32 --> 00:20:33

The red thobe, no joke, right?

00:20:34 --> 00:20:35

The thobe, right?

00:20:35 --> 00:20:36

Everybody.

00:20:36 --> 00:20:39

You can dress like a Turkish baker like

00:20:39 --> 00:20:39

me.

00:20:40 --> 00:20:42

You can wear the hijab.

00:20:42 --> 00:20:44

Everybody can appear to be that.

00:20:44 --> 00:20:45

You can have the khaz and qaz and

00:20:45 --> 00:20:48

ayns and saws and daws and calves on

00:20:48 --> 00:20:48

point.

00:20:49 --> 00:20:52

But if you are a jerk, if you're

00:20:52 --> 00:20:55

rude, if you're impolite, if you're not trustworthy,

00:20:56 --> 00:20:58

if you don't keep your promises, all of

00:20:58 --> 00:20:59

that stuff doesn't matter.

00:20:59 --> 00:21:01

In fact, it's even worse.

00:21:02 --> 00:21:05

Because now, the contradiction between what you look

00:21:05 --> 00:21:08

like and who you are is so sour,

00:21:08 --> 00:21:11

so burning, that for every single person that

00:21:11 --> 00:21:14

gets to know you, they experience it, it's

00:21:14 --> 00:21:15

like insult to injury.

00:21:15 --> 00:21:16

May Allah protect us.

00:21:16 --> 00:21:18

One of my teachers, he used to make

00:21:18 --> 00:21:18

this dua.

00:21:18 --> 00:21:19

I want you to remember this dua.

00:21:20 --> 00:21:21

May Allah protect us.

00:21:21 --> 00:21:23

He used to say, Oh Allah, do not

00:21:23 --> 00:21:26

allow people to become disappointed with us as

00:21:26 --> 00:21:27

they know us better.

00:21:28 --> 00:21:30

And he was crying, crying.

00:21:30 --> 00:21:32

Because for mashayikh, it's really hard.

00:21:33 --> 00:21:34

For our teachers, it's really difficult.

00:21:35 --> 00:21:36

Because everybody, of course, raises them on the

00:21:36 --> 00:21:38

pedestal, and then you get to know them,

00:21:38 --> 00:21:39

and you're like, Man, he's running late, or

00:21:39 --> 00:21:40

this and that.

00:21:40 --> 00:21:42

And the reality is, that's a huge burden

00:21:42 --> 00:21:43

that they carry.

00:21:43 --> 00:21:45

So he would say, Oh Allah, make people

00:21:45 --> 00:21:47

not lose respect for us as they get

00:21:47 --> 00:21:47

close to us.

00:21:48 --> 00:21:49

Because we're just human.

00:21:49 --> 00:21:51

And we should all make this dua frequently.

00:21:51 --> 00:21:52

Because we're just human, subhanAllah.

00:21:52 --> 00:21:54

But here, the key is trying.

00:21:54 --> 00:21:56

Umar is saying that we all need to

00:21:56 --> 00:21:58

make sure that we try our best.

00:21:59 --> 00:22:00

Okay.

00:22:00 --> 00:22:02

And then the last statement that Umar said,

00:22:02 --> 00:22:03

and he said this in one of his

00:22:03 --> 00:22:03

khutbahs.

00:22:03 --> 00:22:08

كان يقول في خطبته He said that, in

00:22:08 --> 00:22:11

his khutbah he said that, for a person

00:22:11 --> 00:22:16

that is not truthful, there is no speech

00:22:16 --> 00:22:18

from them that can be considered good.

00:22:19 --> 00:22:21

And then he said, for the person that

00:22:21 --> 00:22:25

lies, they will eventually commit sins.

00:22:25 --> 00:22:27

They will eventually start to become unethical in

00:22:27 --> 00:22:28

other ways.

00:22:28 --> 00:22:32

Like a liar might lie in material ways.

00:22:32 --> 00:22:33

Like stealing, right?

00:22:34 --> 00:22:36

If a person lies with their tongue, eventually

00:22:36 --> 00:22:37

they might steal.

00:22:37 --> 00:22:38

Think about it.

00:22:38 --> 00:22:39

If a person gets away lying in one

00:22:39 --> 00:22:42

way, what's to stop them from furthering that

00:22:42 --> 00:22:43

practice?

00:22:43 --> 00:22:45

I mean, what is cheating in a relationship

00:22:45 --> 00:22:46

besides lying?

00:22:47 --> 00:22:47

It's just lying.

00:22:48 --> 00:22:49

Actually, they call it unfaithfulness.

00:22:50 --> 00:22:51

Right?

00:22:51 --> 00:22:52

It's when a person doesn't have faith.

00:22:52 --> 00:22:54

When a person is unfaithful, subhanAllah.

00:22:54 --> 00:22:55

May Allah protect us.

00:22:55 --> 00:22:57

So he says, if a person gets used

00:22:57 --> 00:23:01

to lying, that lying will metastasize, and will

00:23:01 --> 00:23:04

become uncontrollably big, and it will eventually spill

00:23:04 --> 00:23:06

over into their character and their action, and

00:23:06 --> 00:23:09

as a result of that, he says, it

00:23:09 --> 00:23:10

will destroy them completely.

00:23:11 --> 00:23:13

All beginning from one lie.

00:23:13 --> 00:23:14

May Allah protect us.

00:23:14 --> 00:23:16

This is why telling the truth is so

00:23:16 --> 00:23:17

critical and so important.

00:23:19 --> 00:23:25

Abdullah ibn Abbas, he says that, now, that's

00:23:25 --> 00:23:27

the advice that we got from not being

00:23:27 --> 00:23:27

a liar.

00:23:27 --> 00:23:28

But then what about when you're in a

00:23:28 --> 00:23:30

situation where you can tell that someone's not

00:23:30 --> 00:23:32

being truthful?

00:23:32 --> 00:23:33

Right?

00:23:33 --> 00:23:34

Let's say that you're in a conversation and

00:23:34 --> 00:23:37

somebody is not being completely honest.

00:23:38 --> 00:23:38

Okay?

00:23:39 --> 00:23:43

There is definitely an indication.

00:23:44 --> 00:23:47

He says, do not talk about things that

00:23:47 --> 00:23:50

do not concern you with people that are

00:23:50 --> 00:23:51

not honest.

00:23:52 --> 00:23:53

Abdullah ibn Abbas is very interesting.

00:23:54 --> 00:23:56

If you're having a conversation and you can

00:23:56 --> 00:23:58

tell that somebody is stretching the truth, he's

00:23:58 --> 00:23:59

basically saying what?

00:24:00 --> 00:24:01

It's your job to stop them.

00:24:02 --> 00:24:04

But you don't have to stop them by

00:24:04 --> 00:24:04

calling them a liar.

00:24:05 --> 00:24:08

We once had a friend, we used to

00:24:08 --> 00:24:10

say we would have to talk his stories

00:24:10 --> 00:24:10

down.

00:24:11 --> 00:24:13

So he would arrive at a gathering, and

00:24:13 --> 00:24:15

he would say something, and then all of

00:24:15 --> 00:24:16

us would kind of quietly be like, hmm.

00:24:18 --> 00:24:18

You know?

00:24:18 --> 00:24:19

So he'd be like, oh man, on the

00:24:19 --> 00:24:21

way here I raced three Ferraris.

00:24:22 --> 00:24:25

And we're like, and he's like, okay, they

00:24:25 --> 00:24:26

weren't Ferraris, they were Hondas.

00:24:28 --> 00:24:30

And then we're like, and he's like, there

00:24:30 --> 00:24:30

was one.

00:24:31 --> 00:24:33

And then we're just like, and he's like,

00:24:33 --> 00:24:33

it was my mom.

00:24:33 --> 00:24:35

You know, like it was, it basically had

00:24:35 --> 00:24:37

to like talk him down from the story.

00:24:37 --> 00:24:39

So he would come in with something very

00:24:39 --> 00:24:43

crazy, and then it would become like slightly

00:24:43 --> 00:24:45

more believable, and then it would become just

00:24:45 --> 00:24:46

like completely uninteresting.

00:24:47 --> 00:24:48

I.e. his life, right?

00:24:48 --> 00:24:49

His real life.

00:24:49 --> 00:24:50

Okay?

00:24:50 --> 00:24:53

So Abdullah bin Abbas is saying, in those

00:24:53 --> 00:24:55

moments when you can tell that somebody is

00:24:55 --> 00:24:59

kind of not being the most truthful, your

00:24:59 --> 00:25:02

best strategy in that moment is to what?

00:25:02 --> 00:25:03

Don't push.

00:25:04 --> 00:25:06

Don't make the person keep lying.

00:25:06 --> 00:25:07

See, this is from the character of a

00:25:07 --> 00:25:08

Muslim.

00:25:08 --> 00:25:09

It's like if you know someone has a

00:25:09 --> 00:25:11

weakness, it's not your job to exploit it.

00:25:11 --> 00:25:13

And to make that, no, your job is

00:25:13 --> 00:25:13

to what?

00:25:14 --> 00:25:14

Change the subject.

00:25:15 --> 00:25:16

So Abdullah bin Abbas says, don't talk about

00:25:16 --> 00:25:17

things that do not concern you.

00:25:18 --> 00:25:20

If the conversation is happening, just move on

00:25:20 --> 00:25:23

to another conversation, something that's not a liable

00:25:23 --> 00:25:23

conversation.

00:25:24 --> 00:25:24

Okay?

00:25:24 --> 00:25:27

And leave that which does not concern you,

00:25:27 --> 00:25:27

he says.

00:25:27 --> 00:25:28

And do not argue.

00:25:28 --> 00:25:31

Do not argue with liars or fools.

00:25:32 --> 00:25:34

Because when you do that, you're making them

00:25:34 --> 00:25:38

dig their heels deeper into the earth and

00:25:38 --> 00:25:40

setting their stance against you.

00:25:40 --> 00:25:40

Okay?

00:25:42 --> 00:25:44

So this is the end of this section.

00:25:45 --> 00:25:47

Now, he begins a new section.

00:25:48 --> 00:25:49

And we're going to talk about this, inshallah,

00:25:49 --> 00:25:51

and then we'll go to some Q&A.

00:25:52 --> 00:25:56

He mentioned here some of the things that

00:25:56 --> 00:25:57

we need to be careful of.

00:25:58 --> 00:26:00

And now he's going to give us advice

00:26:00 --> 00:26:02

about what are the supplements.

00:26:03 --> 00:26:04

So if the previous section was like what

00:26:04 --> 00:26:07

to avoid, like the bacteria, and he was

00:26:07 --> 00:26:10

giving us the antibiotics, now he's giving us

00:26:10 --> 00:26:11

some of the nutritional advice.

00:26:12 --> 00:26:13

This is what you should be doing.

00:26:13 --> 00:26:14

This is what you should be eating.

00:26:15 --> 00:26:15

Okay?

00:26:16 --> 00:26:18

So he says, number one, if you want

00:26:18 --> 00:26:22

to see yourself growing towards Allah, we gave

00:26:22 --> 00:26:22

you the avoidance.

00:26:22 --> 00:26:26

Now, he says, number one, be a person

00:26:26 --> 00:26:29

that is no matter what constantly in a

00:26:29 --> 00:26:31

state of thanks to Allah subhanahu wa ta

00:26:31 --> 00:26:31

'ala.

00:26:32 --> 00:26:34

Always thank Allah.

00:26:35 --> 00:26:36

Now, this is easy.

00:26:36 --> 00:26:39

In a good percentage of our life.

00:26:40 --> 00:26:43

Because something good happens to you, and subhanallah,

00:26:43 --> 00:26:46

you feel so grateful, and in that moment,

00:26:46 --> 00:26:48

you're like so close to Allah, and you're

00:26:48 --> 00:26:49

like, life is perfect.

00:26:50 --> 00:26:51

My veilah hijab got delivered.

00:26:52 --> 00:26:54

This is great, you know.

00:26:54 --> 00:26:56

The temperature today, it's a high of 80.

00:26:57 --> 00:26:57

Alhamdulillah.

00:26:58 --> 00:26:58

Right?

00:26:59 --> 00:27:01

This actually, subhanallah, I hate that I keep

00:27:01 --> 00:27:03

bringing up my own like family stories, but

00:27:03 --> 00:27:04

it's just so relevant, subhanallah.

00:27:04 --> 00:27:06

And I hope, maybe by doing this, you

00:27:06 --> 00:27:08

guys can see that this stuff happens all

00:27:08 --> 00:27:08

the time.

00:27:08 --> 00:27:11

So my son, I told you guys about

00:27:11 --> 00:27:12

the Jordans he bought, right?

00:27:12 --> 00:27:14

With his own money, I didn't tell you?

00:27:14 --> 00:27:14

Okay.

00:27:15 --> 00:27:16

He bought, he wanted Jordans.

00:27:16 --> 00:27:17

I said no.

00:27:18 --> 00:27:21

Because I went and got him from the

00:27:21 --> 00:27:23

outlet store, I got him these really, really

00:27:24 --> 00:27:27

cool, I mean, they're Kairis, but they were

00:27:27 --> 00:27:28

very cheap, mashallah, mashallah.

00:27:29 --> 00:27:30

Okay?

00:27:30 --> 00:27:30

They were like $20.

00:27:31 --> 00:27:34

Like every uncle and auntie in the universe

00:27:34 --> 00:27:35

was so proud of me at that moment.

00:27:36 --> 00:27:36

You know?

00:27:36 --> 00:27:38

I think their original price was like $80.

00:27:38 --> 00:27:39

I got him for $20 and they fit

00:27:39 --> 00:27:39

him perfectly.

00:27:40 --> 00:27:40

And he didn't know.

00:27:40 --> 00:27:41

He didn't know.

00:27:41 --> 00:27:42

You know, they're at the age where they

00:27:42 --> 00:27:43

don't really understand or care.

00:27:43 --> 00:27:45

You know, they just want something to be

00:27:45 --> 00:27:45

nice.

00:27:45 --> 00:27:47

But this is also the challenge, subhanallah.

00:27:47 --> 00:27:49

And by the way, the reason why I

00:27:49 --> 00:27:51

share a lot of stories about my children

00:27:52 --> 00:27:53

is not because I want them to hate

00:27:53 --> 00:27:55

me as they get older and listen to

00:27:55 --> 00:27:57

this and be like, wow, you totally like

00:27:57 --> 00:27:59

just, you know, made your entire class about

00:27:59 --> 00:28:00

us.

00:28:00 --> 00:28:03

I do this because in all of us

00:28:03 --> 00:28:05

lives an example of that child.

00:28:06 --> 00:28:06

It's called the nafs.

00:28:08 --> 00:28:11

It's the exact copy of a child.

00:28:12 --> 00:28:13

We're just better at hiding it.

00:28:14 --> 00:28:14

Right?

00:28:14 --> 00:28:16

Like they just might whisper louder than you.

00:28:18 --> 00:28:18

Okay?

00:28:19 --> 00:28:26

So, so, my son, after a couple weeks

00:28:26 --> 00:28:28

of having these Kairis, which are really nice,

00:28:28 --> 00:28:31

by the way, and Kairi is Muslim, so

00:28:31 --> 00:28:33

there's just all this benefit to these shoes.

00:28:34 --> 00:28:34

Okay?

00:28:35 --> 00:28:37

He, his friend has a pair of Jordans.

00:28:38 --> 00:28:41

And he's like, I really want Jordans, Baba.

00:28:42 --> 00:28:46

And I, you know, it's so hard saying

00:28:46 --> 00:28:47

no to your kid.

00:28:47 --> 00:28:49

Like you just, you want to do it

00:28:49 --> 00:28:50

so badly.

00:28:51 --> 00:28:53

You want to give them literally everything they

00:28:53 --> 00:28:54

ask for.

00:28:54 --> 00:28:56

But you know that by doing that, you're

00:28:56 --> 00:28:57

going to just destroy them.

00:28:58 --> 00:28:59

Like by doing, yeah, he knows.

00:28:59 --> 00:28:59

Right?

00:29:00 --> 00:29:02

By doing that, you're just going to destroy

00:29:02 --> 00:29:02

them.

00:29:02 --> 00:29:03

Like, because why?

00:29:03 --> 00:29:04

Because their expectation is going to be out

00:29:04 --> 00:29:05

of control.

00:29:06 --> 00:29:07

So you can't do that.

00:29:07 --> 00:29:10

But you also can't deprive them of everything.

00:29:10 --> 00:29:11

Right?

00:29:11 --> 00:29:12

I see a lot of people nodding.

00:29:12 --> 00:29:12

Okay.

00:29:12 --> 00:29:13

I didn't mean to trigger.

00:29:13 --> 00:29:13

Right?

00:29:14 --> 00:29:15

You can't deprive them of everything.

00:29:15 --> 00:29:16

So there's a balance.

00:29:16 --> 00:29:17

Okay?

00:29:17 --> 00:29:18

Much like the nafs, there's a balance.

00:29:18 --> 00:29:20

You cannot indulge your nafs all the time.

00:29:20 --> 00:29:21

But you also can't starve it.

00:29:21 --> 00:29:22

Like if you want to get some tacos,

00:29:23 --> 00:29:23

get some tacos.

00:29:23 --> 00:29:23

Right?

00:29:24 --> 00:29:24

You can tell I'm hungry.

00:29:25 --> 00:29:28

So, he's like, I want Jordans.

00:29:28 --> 00:29:29

And I tell, I'm about to go out

00:29:29 --> 00:29:30

of town for a work trip.

00:29:30 --> 00:29:32

And I tell him, Baba, we'll talk about

00:29:32 --> 00:29:32

it when I get home.

00:29:33 --> 00:29:34

I leave.

00:29:36 --> 00:29:38

And I get a FaceTime call from my

00:29:38 --> 00:29:38

wife.

00:29:38 --> 00:29:40

And they're in the Nike outlet store.

00:29:42 --> 00:29:43

And he goes, Baba.

00:29:44 --> 00:29:44

And it's his face.

00:29:45 --> 00:29:46

So it's my wife's name.

00:29:46 --> 00:29:46

And I swipe.

00:29:47 --> 00:29:48

And I expect to see my wife.

00:29:48 --> 00:29:49

And I see my son.

00:29:51 --> 00:29:53

And I'm like, where are you?

00:29:53 --> 00:29:54

And he's like, I'm at Nike.

00:29:54 --> 00:29:56

And he goes, Baba, I found them.

00:29:58 --> 00:29:58

And I go, what?

00:29:59 --> 00:30:00

And he opens the box and there's a

00:30:00 --> 00:30:00

pair of Jordans.

00:30:00 --> 00:30:01

And he goes, but don't worry.

00:30:01 --> 00:30:02

I'm paying for them.

00:30:03 --> 00:30:04

And I go, okay.

00:30:05 --> 00:30:07

And that also kind of like hurts a

00:30:07 --> 00:30:07

little bit.

00:30:08 --> 00:30:09

Because your seven year old kid is like,

00:30:09 --> 00:30:10

I got this.

00:30:11 --> 00:30:12

You keep paying the mortgage.

00:30:13 --> 00:30:14

I'll buy these.

00:30:14 --> 00:30:15

You know?

00:30:16 --> 00:30:18

You know, treat yourself this month, Baba.

00:30:22 --> 00:30:24

So he like opens the box and shows

00:30:24 --> 00:30:25

me these Jordans.

00:30:26 --> 00:30:27

And I'm like, you really like them?

00:30:27 --> 00:30:29

And he goes, yeah, they're a little bit

00:30:29 --> 00:30:29

big.

00:30:29 --> 00:30:30

But I'll grow into them.

00:30:30 --> 00:30:32

And the sales guy's like, he'll grow into

00:30:32 --> 00:30:32

them.

00:30:32 --> 00:30:33

And I'm like, yeah, of course.

00:30:34 --> 00:30:35

You're going to sell my son on this.

00:30:35 --> 00:30:35

You know?

00:30:36 --> 00:30:38

I'm like, get out of here, Josh.

00:30:38 --> 00:30:38

Okay, so.

00:30:39 --> 00:30:41

And then my wife just kind of looks

00:30:41 --> 00:30:41

at me and she's like.

00:30:42 --> 00:30:43

And I'm like, okay, fine.

00:30:43 --> 00:30:43

Whatever.

00:30:44 --> 00:30:44

Right?

00:30:44 --> 00:30:44

Right?

00:30:45 --> 00:30:46

It's usually reversed, by the way.

00:30:46 --> 00:30:47

Usually she's the one saying no.

00:30:47 --> 00:30:48

And I'm like, yeah, you have to do

00:30:48 --> 00:30:48

it.

00:30:50 --> 00:30:51

So anyways, then he comes home.

00:30:52 --> 00:30:53

Or I come home, sorry.

00:30:53 --> 00:30:55

That weekend he has a basketball game.

00:30:56 --> 00:30:56

He hits a game winner.

00:30:57 --> 00:30:58

And he's like convinced now that it's his

00:30:58 --> 00:30:58

shoes.

00:30:59 --> 00:31:00

He does it again.

00:31:00 --> 00:31:01

And he's convinced.

00:31:01 --> 00:31:02

He's like, Baba, it's his shoes.

00:31:02 --> 00:31:02

It's his shoes.

00:31:03 --> 00:31:03

Okay?

00:31:04 --> 00:31:05

Now, why am I telling you this story?

00:31:06 --> 00:31:08

For a matter of like three, four weeks,

00:31:10 --> 00:31:12

nothing was more important than these shoes.

00:31:13 --> 00:31:14

Nothing.

00:31:14 --> 00:31:15

Doesn't wear them outside.

00:31:16 --> 00:31:17

Only wears them in the court.

00:31:17 --> 00:31:18

When he's done with his game, he takes

00:31:18 --> 00:31:19

them off.

00:31:19 --> 00:31:21

Puts on his sandals or his Crocs or

00:31:21 --> 00:31:21

whatever.

00:31:21 --> 00:31:23

Like really treating them so well.

00:31:24 --> 00:31:24

Okay?

00:31:25 --> 00:31:26

Basketball season ends.

00:31:27 --> 00:31:28

And then we have a little bit of

00:31:28 --> 00:31:28

a break.

00:31:29 --> 00:31:31

And now basketball season is starting.

00:31:31 --> 00:31:32

He goes to his friend's house.

00:31:32 --> 00:31:33

His friend has a new pair of Jordans.

00:31:34 --> 00:31:35

No, no.

00:31:35 --> 00:31:37

I'm not making this up.

00:31:39 --> 00:31:41

He comes home from his friend's house.

00:31:41 --> 00:31:45

And he is quiet.

00:31:45 --> 00:31:46

And I'm like, what's going on?

00:31:46 --> 00:31:47

How are your friends?

00:31:47 --> 00:31:47

He goes, it was good.

00:31:48 --> 00:31:49

You know the good with the dot, dot,

00:31:49 --> 00:31:49

dot?

00:31:50 --> 00:31:51

It was good.

00:31:51 --> 00:31:52

And I go, yeah, what did you guys

00:31:52 --> 00:31:53

do?

00:31:53 --> 00:31:54

He's like, we played basketball.

00:31:55 --> 00:31:55

And I go, nice.

00:31:56 --> 00:31:57

And I go, how was it?

00:31:57 --> 00:31:58

He goes, good.

00:31:59 --> 00:32:00

He has Jordans.

00:32:00 --> 00:32:01

New Jordans.

00:32:02 --> 00:32:04

And he's like, Baba got it for him.

00:32:04 --> 00:32:06

And he has to make a hundred shots

00:32:06 --> 00:32:07

and he gets them.

00:32:07 --> 00:32:08

And I'm like, I make a hundred shots

00:32:08 --> 00:32:08

every day.

00:32:08 --> 00:32:09

Like, why don't you get me Jordans?

00:32:10 --> 00:32:10

Every day.

00:32:11 --> 00:32:11

Right?

00:32:13 --> 00:32:13

Just ignore it.

00:32:14 --> 00:32:14

It's okay.

00:32:15 --> 00:32:15

It's not dangerous.

00:32:16 --> 00:32:17

There's a small bug in your hair.

00:32:17 --> 00:32:18

There you go.

00:32:19 --> 00:32:19

Okay.

00:32:20 --> 00:32:20

It's okay.

00:32:21 --> 00:32:22

It's a creation of Allah too.

00:32:22 --> 00:32:23

It has a purpose.

00:32:25 --> 00:32:26

So listen.

00:32:28 --> 00:32:29

So listen to this.

00:32:29 --> 00:32:30

This is crazy.

00:32:31 --> 00:32:33

But actually, Alhamdulillah, this shows you there's a

00:32:33 --> 00:32:33

happy ending.

00:32:35 --> 00:32:36

He's like, he has Jordans.

00:32:36 --> 00:32:37

Why don't you get me Jordans?

00:32:37 --> 00:32:38

And he's a seven year old.

00:32:38 --> 00:32:39

So they don't have emotional regulation.

00:32:39 --> 00:32:40

So there's tears.

00:32:41 --> 00:32:41

He's like me.

00:32:42 --> 00:32:42

He cries all the time.

00:32:42 --> 00:32:43

So there's tears.

00:32:44 --> 00:32:45

And he's really upset.

00:32:45 --> 00:32:47

And he's really, and he's just you know,

00:32:48 --> 00:32:49

and he goes, and then he says, oh

00:32:49 --> 00:32:50

man, he goes, and the ones I got,

00:32:51 --> 00:32:52

they're a little bit too big.

00:32:52 --> 00:32:54

And I go, you're the one that told

00:32:54 --> 00:32:55

me that that was a good thing.

00:32:56 --> 00:32:57

With Josh behind you.

00:32:57 --> 00:32:58

Giving the thumbs up.

00:33:00 --> 00:33:02

So then I talk him down and I

00:33:02 --> 00:33:03

say, look, every time you go to your

00:33:03 --> 00:33:05

friend's house and you see something that they

00:33:05 --> 00:33:06

have that you don't have, you cannot come

00:33:06 --> 00:33:07

home like this.

00:33:08 --> 00:33:08

Right?

00:33:10 --> 00:33:11

And this is honestly a message for us.

00:33:13 --> 00:33:15

Every time, you're still a kid Abbas.

00:33:16 --> 00:33:17

That story was for you.

00:33:17 --> 00:33:18

But this is for us adults.

00:33:19 --> 00:33:19

You're welcome.

00:33:20 --> 00:33:21

This is for us.

00:33:21 --> 00:33:23

Every time you go out into the dunya

00:33:23 --> 00:33:24

and see something that somebody has that you

00:33:24 --> 00:33:26

don't have, don't you feel the same way

00:33:26 --> 00:33:26

Musa did?

00:33:27 --> 00:33:29

Every time you're scrolling on Instagram and someone's

00:33:29 --> 00:33:31

on vacation and you're not, don't you feel

00:33:31 --> 00:33:31

that same way?

00:33:32 --> 00:33:34

It's a natural feeling.

00:33:34 --> 00:33:34

It's a natural feeling.

00:33:34 --> 00:33:38

And everything he displayed, if I have to

00:33:38 --> 00:33:40

be honest with you, I feel the same

00:33:40 --> 00:33:40

thing.

00:33:41 --> 00:33:44

When I see that somebody has something that

00:33:44 --> 00:33:47

I've been looking at or saving up for

00:33:48 --> 00:33:49

and they've been able to get it.

00:33:49 --> 00:33:52

There's a nefsicle component of every person that

00:33:53 --> 00:33:54

becomes inflamed.

00:33:55 --> 00:33:55

Right?

00:33:56 --> 00:33:59

And it's your job to have the same

00:33:59 --> 00:34:01

conversation with yourself that I had with him.

00:34:01 --> 00:34:05

And the crazy thing, SubhanAllah, is after that

00:34:05 --> 00:34:09

conversation, he went to go put on his

00:34:09 --> 00:34:13

shoes to shoot around and he looks at

00:34:13 --> 00:34:15

them and he goes, you know what Baba?

00:34:16 --> 00:34:17

They're not so bad.

00:34:18 --> 00:34:19

And he puts them on and he goes,

00:34:19 --> 00:34:20

my feet grew.

00:34:20 --> 00:34:21

They fit now.

00:34:22 --> 00:34:26

And SubhanAllah, the realization he had was that

00:34:26 --> 00:34:28

gratitude makes things more valuable.

00:34:28 --> 00:34:33

In gratitude, ingratitude will make even the most

00:34:33 --> 00:34:36

valuable possession completely worthless.

00:34:38 --> 00:34:41

Think about not just gratitude for things.

00:34:42 --> 00:34:43

Think about gratitude for people.

00:34:44 --> 00:34:46

Think about parents.

00:34:47 --> 00:34:47

Think about siblings.

00:34:48 --> 00:34:52

Think about all these relationships, spouse, children.

00:34:52 --> 00:34:53

Think about friends.

00:34:54 --> 00:34:57

You could be surrounded with the people in

00:34:57 --> 00:35:00

your life that are literally the things that

00:35:00 --> 00:35:01

people make dua for.

00:35:04 --> 00:35:04

You know?

00:35:06 --> 00:35:10

Like complaining about, I'll never forget in Ramadan,

00:35:10 --> 00:35:12

there was a session where we were talking

00:35:12 --> 00:35:14

about complaining about children because children can be

00:35:14 --> 00:35:14

really tough.

00:35:15 --> 00:35:17

And I remember sitting right here in front

00:35:17 --> 00:35:18

of me, there was a couple that I

00:35:18 --> 00:35:21

know very dearly that has been unable to

00:35:21 --> 00:35:22

have children.

00:35:24 --> 00:35:25

And I saw them like crying.

00:35:26 --> 00:35:29

And I thought to myself, how many parents

00:35:29 --> 00:35:33

have uttered complaints against their own kids?

00:35:34 --> 00:35:38

But if they met those amazing couples, those

00:35:38 --> 00:35:40

powerful couples, subhanAllah, may Allah bless them, who

00:35:40 --> 00:35:43

are unable at the moment to yet have

00:35:43 --> 00:35:47

children, that those people would trade every struggle

00:35:47 --> 00:35:49

just to have one day with that kid.

00:35:51 --> 00:35:52

This is us.

00:35:52 --> 00:35:54

We complain about the blessings.

00:35:55 --> 00:35:57

I told you, just like me.

00:35:58 --> 00:36:02

We complain about the blessings that Allah has

00:36:02 --> 00:36:03

not given other people.

00:36:03 --> 00:36:05

And they shed tears over wanting them.

00:36:05 --> 00:36:08

And we have the audacity to complain about

00:36:08 --> 00:36:08

them.

00:36:09 --> 00:36:09

You know?

00:36:10 --> 00:36:11

So he says here, Imam al-Muhasibi says,

00:36:13 --> 00:36:16

be grateful, which is an easy enough advice.

00:36:16 --> 00:36:18

And then he says, in all times, in

00:36:18 --> 00:36:19

all times.

00:36:19 --> 00:36:22

Imam Ghazali says, no matter what situation in

00:36:22 --> 00:36:23

life, you can be grateful.

00:36:23 --> 00:36:25

He says there's four scenarios that you're going

00:36:25 --> 00:36:25

to be in.

00:36:25 --> 00:36:28

Number one, when good things happen.

00:36:28 --> 00:36:30

When good things happen, it's the most obvious.

00:36:30 --> 00:36:31

Be grateful.

00:36:31 --> 00:36:33

But he says, when bad things happen.

00:36:34 --> 00:36:35

How are you grateful when bad things happen?

00:36:36 --> 00:36:39

Well, he says, at least it happened here,

00:36:39 --> 00:36:41

in this dunya, and not in the akhira.

00:36:43 --> 00:36:46

The Salaf, the pious people with the Prophet,

00:36:46 --> 00:36:48

peace be upon him, when bad things happen

00:36:48 --> 00:36:50

to them here, they would say, alhamdulillah, because

00:36:50 --> 00:36:53

they're like, man, it's better to have this

00:36:53 --> 00:36:54

difficulty here than it would be on the

00:36:54 --> 00:36:55

day of judgment.

00:36:56 --> 00:36:58

I would much rather have a delay here

00:36:58 --> 00:36:59

than a delay there.

00:36:59 --> 00:37:01

And if the delay here means that I'm

00:37:01 --> 00:37:02

going to be moving faster there, give it

00:37:02 --> 00:37:03

to me.

00:37:03 --> 00:37:04

I'll take it.

00:37:04 --> 00:37:07

And then, he said, in the third scenario,

00:37:08 --> 00:37:12

when you're obedient to Allah, be grateful that

00:37:12 --> 00:37:15

He gave you the gift of being obedient.

00:37:15 --> 00:37:17

Like, after you pray, you should feel happy,

00:37:17 --> 00:37:19

but you should feel grateful to Allah that

00:37:19 --> 00:37:20

He even made you a person who wants

00:37:20 --> 00:37:21

to pray.

00:37:21 --> 00:37:24

Like, thank you, Allah, for allowing me the

00:37:24 --> 00:37:25

hidayah of prayer.

00:37:25 --> 00:37:27

How many people on this earth tonight will

00:37:27 --> 00:37:28

go to sleep without praying?

00:37:29 --> 00:37:30

Alhamdulillah, very good.

00:37:30 --> 00:37:32

And then he says, this is the one

00:37:32 --> 00:37:35

that blows my mind, when you sin, he

00:37:35 --> 00:37:38

says, when you sin, be grateful that Allah

00:37:38 --> 00:37:40

gave you a chance for repentance.

00:37:41 --> 00:37:44

Be grateful that you recognize that you're sinning,

00:37:45 --> 00:37:46

and that you're still alive.

00:37:47 --> 00:37:51

Because how many people have died without recognizing

00:37:51 --> 00:37:53

that they needed to repent for the mistakes

00:37:53 --> 00:37:53

that they made?

00:37:55 --> 00:37:58

So he says, give thanks in every scenario.

00:37:58 --> 00:38:00

The more that we give thanks, he says,

00:38:00 --> 00:38:02

the more that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

00:38:02 --> 00:38:03

will increase us.

00:38:04 --> 00:38:06

Allah says in the Quran, وَلَا إِن شَكَرَتُمْ

00:38:06 --> 00:38:10

لَأَزِيدَنَّكُمْ If you are grateful, I will increase

00:38:10 --> 00:38:10

you.

00:38:10 --> 00:38:12

The scholars say increase in two ways.

00:38:12 --> 00:38:14

Number one, you'll get more of what you're

00:38:14 --> 00:38:15

grateful for.

00:38:15 --> 00:38:17

So if you're grateful for something, Allah will

00:38:17 --> 00:38:18

increase that.

00:38:18 --> 00:38:20

But the second is that Allah will actually

00:38:20 --> 00:38:22

increase you in gratitude.

00:38:23 --> 00:38:25

Allah will increase you in shukr itself.

00:38:25 --> 00:38:28

If you're grateful, the gratitude will actually compound.

00:38:30 --> 00:38:33

Now, movies, you know, TV shows, even now

00:38:33 --> 00:38:36

like social media, they've made like memes, or

00:38:36 --> 00:38:39

like caricatures of the people that are optimistic

00:38:39 --> 00:38:39

all the time.

00:38:40 --> 00:38:42

And for those of us that are like

00:38:42 --> 00:38:44

a little bit on the pessimistic side, a

00:38:44 --> 00:38:47

little bit on the dark humor side, they

00:38:47 --> 00:38:49

make jokes and humor out of people that

00:38:49 --> 00:38:52

are trying to be you know, optimistic even

00:38:52 --> 00:38:53

in the darkest situations.

00:38:53 --> 00:38:56

That is a reflection of just how negative

00:38:56 --> 00:38:57

our society has become.

00:38:58 --> 00:39:00

That if a person is able to find

00:39:00 --> 00:39:02

the positive in something, we see them as

00:39:02 --> 00:39:03

being insufferable.

00:39:04 --> 00:39:04

Right?

00:39:04 --> 00:39:05

The movie will make fun of them.

00:39:05 --> 00:39:07

The TV show will mock them.

00:39:08 --> 00:39:09

Oh, come on man.

00:39:09 --> 00:39:09

Right?

00:39:09 --> 00:39:10

Be real.

00:39:11 --> 00:39:13

The person's actually trying to be as real

00:39:13 --> 00:39:13

as it gets.

00:39:14 --> 00:39:16

A person who's being optimistic in a difficult

00:39:16 --> 00:39:19

time is trying to keep everybody's heart alive.

00:39:20 --> 00:39:22

It's really easy to succumb to negativity.

00:39:23 --> 00:39:25

It's too easy to be a negative person.

00:39:25 --> 00:39:26

May Allah Ta'ala protect us.

00:39:27 --> 00:39:28

So the commentator here, he says, the more

00:39:28 --> 00:39:31

we give thanks, the more Allah will increase

00:39:31 --> 00:39:31

us.

00:39:31 --> 00:39:33

Knowing this should keep your spirits high.

00:39:34 --> 00:39:36

Find a reason to be thankful.

00:39:37 --> 00:39:40

Like the kid in the Islamic school who

00:39:40 --> 00:39:41

wrote White Blood Cells.

00:39:42 --> 00:39:44

I tell this story like a million times,

00:39:44 --> 00:39:45

but it's very powerful.

00:39:45 --> 00:39:46

Ten years ago, I was in the Islamic

00:39:46 --> 00:39:46

school.

00:39:47 --> 00:39:49

There was a sugar chart outside the classroom.

00:39:49 --> 00:39:50

It was like a second grade classroom or

00:39:50 --> 00:39:50

something.

00:39:51 --> 00:39:52

And they said, what are you grateful for?

00:39:52 --> 00:39:53

Every kid wrote everything.

00:39:54 --> 00:39:56

All the things that you would expect, right?

00:39:56 --> 00:39:57

Video games, whatever.

00:39:57 --> 00:39:58

One kid wrote White Blood Cells.

00:39:59 --> 00:40:01

When I asked the teacher, I laughed just

00:40:01 --> 00:40:01

like you.

00:40:01 --> 00:40:02

When I asked the teacher, I said, that's

00:40:02 --> 00:40:03

funny, White Blood Cells.

00:40:05 --> 00:40:07

He goes, or she said, yeah, his cousin

00:40:07 --> 00:40:08

has leukemia.

00:40:08 --> 00:40:12

And he became like acutely aware of his

00:40:12 --> 00:40:14

blessings down to the cellular level.

00:40:15 --> 00:40:18

May Allah give shifa to everybody who's suffering.

00:40:19 --> 00:40:21

So now, and think now, put yourself in

00:40:21 --> 00:40:23

the position of a person that's witnessing a

00:40:23 --> 00:40:27

genocide in Gaza and understand what this means.

00:40:28 --> 00:40:33

You know, the test is not just for

00:40:33 --> 00:40:34

one people.

00:40:36 --> 00:40:38

The people of Palestine have their test.

00:40:38 --> 00:40:40

The people of Lebanon, they have their test.

00:40:41 --> 00:40:43

Our test is that when we see this

00:40:43 --> 00:40:44

happening, like what do we do?

00:40:45 --> 00:40:47

Are we able to have even a semblance

00:40:47 --> 00:40:47

of gratitude?

00:40:48 --> 00:40:49

Are we able in that gratitude?

00:40:50 --> 00:40:51

And gratitude, by the way, you know what's

00:40:51 --> 00:40:52

crazy about it?

00:40:52 --> 00:40:54

Gratitude opens the doors to charity.

00:40:55 --> 00:40:56

The more grateful you are, the more you

00:40:56 --> 00:40:56

feel what?

00:40:57 --> 00:40:58

I have more than enough.

00:40:59 --> 00:41:00

I have more than enough.

00:41:00 --> 00:41:02

A person who's not charitable is not grateful.

00:41:02 --> 00:41:05

If a person is charitable, it's usually a

00:41:05 --> 00:41:07

sign that they're grateful because they're like, I'm

00:41:07 --> 00:41:07

content.

00:41:08 --> 00:41:10

I'm giving money because I have more than

00:41:10 --> 00:41:11

I need.

00:41:11 --> 00:41:13

But the person who's not grateful will never

00:41:13 --> 00:41:15

be able to open their wallet for sadaqah.

00:41:16 --> 00:41:18

Because they're always thinking about, I need more,

00:41:18 --> 00:41:19

I need more, I need more.

00:41:20 --> 00:41:21

May Allah make us more grateful.

00:41:22 --> 00:41:23

He says, knowing this should keep your spirits

00:41:23 --> 00:41:27

high because we know that everything that we

00:41:27 --> 00:41:30

do is from the blessing and the perpetuity

00:41:30 --> 00:41:34

of Allah's blessing, the constancy of Allah's blessing

00:41:34 --> 00:41:35

in our life.

00:41:36 --> 00:41:39

Imam Muhasibi also reminds us here of the

00:41:39 --> 00:41:40

importance of consistency.

00:41:40 --> 00:41:43

Look, anyone in this room can be grateful

00:41:43 --> 00:41:43

once.

00:41:44 --> 00:41:47

It's easy to be grateful once or twice

00:41:47 --> 00:41:48

or once a week.

00:41:48 --> 00:41:50

But can you be grateful?

00:41:50 --> 00:41:53

Can you force yourself to be grateful in

00:41:53 --> 00:41:56

every situation that you find yourself in?

00:41:57 --> 00:41:59

Can you absolutely find a way?

00:41:59 --> 00:42:01

You have to be creative.

00:42:01 --> 00:42:04

It's not always going to become apparent to

00:42:04 --> 00:42:05

you right away why you should be grateful.

00:42:06 --> 00:42:08

Sometimes you're going to look at something and

00:42:08 --> 00:42:09

it's going to look like a pile of

00:42:09 --> 00:42:09

dirt.

00:42:10 --> 00:42:12

And you're like, there's nothing to be grateful

00:42:12 --> 00:42:12

for.

00:42:12 --> 00:42:14

This is literally nothing.

00:42:15 --> 00:42:15

Right?

00:42:16 --> 00:42:18

But then subhanallah, you realize that you have

00:42:18 --> 00:42:19

seeds in water.

00:42:19 --> 00:42:21

And that's exactly what you needed.

00:42:21 --> 00:42:24

You have to be creative in your search

00:42:24 --> 00:42:26

for gratitude to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.

00:42:26 --> 00:42:26

So be consistent.

00:42:27 --> 00:42:29

We should not only be consistent in giving

00:42:29 --> 00:42:32

thanks but we should be consistent in all

00:42:32 --> 00:42:33

of our actions.

00:42:33 --> 00:42:36

The Prophet mentioned in a hadith that I

00:42:36 --> 00:42:39

swear by Allah he does not tire of

00:42:39 --> 00:42:41

your deeds meaning Allah.

00:42:41 --> 00:42:42

Allah never tires.

00:42:43 --> 00:42:44

He never gets tired of your deeds.

00:42:44 --> 00:42:47

Rather, it is you who become tired.

00:42:48 --> 00:42:50

The more grateful you are, the more grateful

00:42:50 --> 00:42:52

and gracious Allah will be.

00:42:53 --> 00:42:56

Allah never becomes tired of any person in

00:42:56 --> 00:42:56

their moments.

00:42:57 --> 00:42:59

So never ever think that Allah subhanahu wa

00:42:59 --> 00:43:00

ta'ala will overlook and give up.

00:43:00 --> 00:43:01

May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala bless us

00:43:01 --> 00:43:02

and make us grateful.

00:43:03 --> 00:43:04

Okay, let's go to some questions inshallah because

00:43:04 --> 00:43:07

we have about 10 minutes before the adhan.

00:43:07 --> 00:43:07

Okay.

00:43:10 --> 00:43:12

How do I deal with a friend that

00:43:12 --> 00:43:13

only talks to me when they need something?

00:43:16 --> 00:43:17

You're like, P.S. This is about marriage.

00:43:17 --> 00:43:18

No, I'm joking.

00:43:18 --> 00:43:19

Okay, good question.

00:43:21 --> 00:43:21

Bismillah.

00:43:22 --> 00:43:25

So, one of the important things in life

00:43:25 --> 00:43:28

that's going to be a very essential skill

00:43:28 --> 00:43:30

for everybody in this room is learning how

00:43:30 --> 00:43:31

to define titles.

00:43:32 --> 00:43:35

Okay, learning how to define titles.

00:43:36 --> 00:43:38

Social media has given us the impression that

00:43:38 --> 00:43:40

every single person that we meet has become

00:43:40 --> 00:43:41

a friend.

00:43:41 --> 00:43:44

Okay, there are many people in your life

00:43:44 --> 00:43:48

that you know that you love but they

00:43:48 --> 00:43:50

are not the closest companions in your life.

00:43:50 --> 00:43:55

And that's okay because realistically human beings don't

00:43:55 --> 00:43:57

have the capacity to have like 100 best

00:43:57 --> 00:43:57

friends.

00:43:58 --> 00:43:59

It's not possible.

00:44:00 --> 00:44:00

Okay.

00:44:00 --> 00:44:03

At some point, the list has to be

00:44:03 --> 00:44:04

manageable.

00:44:04 --> 00:44:04

Okay.

00:44:05 --> 00:44:10

So if this person is outside of the

00:44:10 --> 00:44:15

close companion list, then for you, this might

00:44:15 --> 00:44:16

be one of the tests that Allah has

00:44:16 --> 00:44:17

put in your life.

00:44:17 --> 00:44:19

And you just have to see how you

00:44:19 --> 00:44:21

respond, whether or not you can be patient,

00:44:21 --> 00:44:22

whether or not you can be a person

00:44:22 --> 00:44:24

of service to this individual.

00:44:25 --> 00:44:26

And that just might be the nature of

00:44:26 --> 00:44:27

your relationship.

00:44:28 --> 00:44:30

If it's just like an acquaintance, it is

00:44:30 --> 00:44:31

what it is.

00:44:31 --> 00:44:31

Okay.

00:44:32 --> 00:44:35

But if this person is somebody that you

00:44:35 --> 00:44:38

feel is one of those really close companions

00:44:38 --> 00:44:41

and you've noticed that in your relationship it's

00:44:41 --> 00:44:45

becoming pretty one-sided and that there's a

00:44:45 --> 00:44:47

lot of take and not a lot of

00:44:47 --> 00:44:50

give, then it's worth always having a conversation

00:44:50 --> 00:44:52

with this person about how you feel.

00:44:53 --> 00:44:56

Communication will always always be the best route.

00:44:57 --> 00:44:58

You know, I read something the other day

00:44:58 --> 00:44:59

that I thought was really powerful.

00:44:59 --> 00:45:00

Can I read it to you guys?

00:45:02 --> 00:45:05

I'm in my feels sometimes on social media

00:45:05 --> 00:45:05

when I read these things.

00:45:07 --> 00:45:09

The guy wrote, his name is Sahil.

00:45:09 --> 00:45:10

Oh, maybe he's Muslim.

00:45:12 --> 00:45:15

Hard conversations are a tax on deep relationships.

00:45:15 --> 00:45:19

When you avoid a hard conversation, you're taking

00:45:19 --> 00:45:21

on a debt that has to be repaid

00:45:21 --> 00:45:23

with interest at a date in the future.

00:45:24 --> 00:45:26

So basically he's saying if you have a

00:45:26 --> 00:45:29

deep relationship with somebody, part of the prerequisites

00:45:29 --> 00:45:31

of that is having a tough conversation.

00:45:31 --> 00:45:33

That's just part of the nature of that

00:45:33 --> 00:45:33

relationship.

00:45:33 --> 00:45:35

You can't really be that close if you

00:45:35 --> 00:45:36

can't have tough conversations.

00:45:37 --> 00:45:38

It's a prerequisite.

00:45:39 --> 00:45:41

So he says time does not heal anything

00:45:41 --> 00:45:42

when it comes to relationships.

00:45:43 --> 00:45:44

Time alone doesn't do anything.

00:45:45 --> 00:45:48

Making the minor adjustments and repairs as time

00:45:48 --> 00:45:50

goes on will help you avoid major repairs

00:45:50 --> 00:45:52

later on.

00:45:52 --> 00:45:54

He says your success in building deep loving

00:45:54 --> 00:45:58

bonds is proportional to the number of tough

00:45:58 --> 00:45:59

conversations you're willing to have.

00:46:00 --> 00:46:02

So the first thing you have to do

00:46:02 --> 00:46:04

in this scenario for this person is define

00:46:04 --> 00:46:06

whether or not this person is a close

00:46:06 --> 00:46:06

friend.

00:46:06 --> 00:46:09

Are they someone of consequence in your life?

00:46:09 --> 00:46:12

If they're not, then it's your decision if

00:46:12 --> 00:46:14

you want to be of service to them,

00:46:14 --> 00:46:15

if you want to draw your boundaries.

00:46:16 --> 00:46:18

Obviously, the Prophet peace be upon him, he

00:46:18 --> 00:46:26

said in a hadith that the person who

00:46:26 --> 00:46:29

is the best of all people will be

00:46:29 --> 00:46:31

the one that is at the most benefit

00:46:31 --> 00:46:32

of all people.

00:46:32 --> 00:46:35

So the point is, if you want to

00:46:35 --> 00:46:37

take that opportunity and serve somebody, if you

00:46:37 --> 00:46:39

have time, if you have opportunity, if you

00:46:39 --> 00:46:40

have resources, bismillah.

00:46:41 --> 00:46:42

But if this person is somebody that's very

00:46:42 --> 00:46:44

close to you and you feel particularly hurt

00:46:44 --> 00:46:48

by this, then that conversation should absolutely happen.

00:46:48 --> 00:46:50

Trust me, you'll feel a lot better after

00:46:50 --> 00:46:50

you do it.

00:46:51 --> 00:46:51

May Allah ta'ala make it easy.

00:46:53 --> 00:46:55

Am I obligated to reveal past sins to

00:46:55 --> 00:46:56

a potential spouse?

00:46:57 --> 00:46:59

For example, zina, and if not, how am

00:46:59 --> 00:47:01

I supposed to answer if they ask that

00:47:01 --> 00:47:01

question?

00:47:01 --> 00:47:02

This is a really good question.

00:47:04 --> 00:47:11

Okay, so the general understanding about sins is

00:47:11 --> 00:47:15

that if Allah ta'ala has hidden a

00:47:15 --> 00:47:18

sin, it is a gift for the person

00:47:19 --> 00:47:23

and that nobody should undo the hiding of

00:47:23 --> 00:47:25

Allah when he hid someone's sin.

00:47:25 --> 00:47:28

So we should never expose another person's sin,

00:47:28 --> 00:47:30

right, unnecessarily.

00:47:30 --> 00:47:32

Maybe there's like a court case or something

00:47:32 --> 00:47:32

that's different.

00:47:33 --> 00:47:34

Legal stuff is different.

00:47:34 --> 00:47:36

Generally speaking, we should not go around exposing

00:47:36 --> 00:47:38

sins, including yourself.

00:47:39 --> 00:47:40

You should not expose your own sins.

00:47:41 --> 00:47:44

So if a person committed sins in a

00:47:44 --> 00:47:47

previous, let me use language you understand, era

00:47:47 --> 00:47:52

of their life, okay, and they have made

00:47:52 --> 00:47:56

tawbah, and they have moved on, and that

00:47:56 --> 00:47:58

is something that they deeply regret and they

00:47:58 --> 00:48:01

want to forget about, then part of the

00:48:01 --> 00:48:04

gift and the power of repentance is that

00:48:04 --> 00:48:08

that person is not obligated to disclose anything

00:48:08 --> 00:48:15

that they've repented for, with the exception that

00:48:15 --> 00:48:18

that thing has lasting impact and will affect

00:48:18 --> 00:48:19

the life of the person.

00:48:20 --> 00:48:23

For example, if I have a child and

00:48:23 --> 00:48:25

they say, do you have any children?

00:48:25 --> 00:48:27

I cannot be like, I repented for that

00:48:27 --> 00:48:27

relationship.

00:48:28 --> 00:48:28

No, I don't.

00:48:29 --> 00:48:30

Who's that?

00:48:30 --> 00:48:32

You're not supposed to ask me about my

00:48:32 --> 00:48:36

prior sins because there's something now, right?

00:48:36 --> 00:48:36

There's something there.

00:48:37 --> 00:48:37

Okay?

00:48:37 --> 00:48:39

I tried to make it light-hearted but

00:48:39 --> 00:48:40

there's other things you could think about.

00:48:41 --> 00:48:41

There's other things, right?

00:48:41 --> 00:48:43

Potentially health conditions etc.

00:48:43 --> 00:48:43

Okay?

00:48:44 --> 00:48:46

In that case, you have to disclose because

00:48:46 --> 00:48:47

it affects this person.

00:48:48 --> 00:48:48

You have to.

00:48:49 --> 00:48:51

But if it is a sin that was

00:48:51 --> 00:48:54

committed, no matter what, if it was a

00:48:54 --> 00:48:56

sin that was committed and that sin has

00:48:56 --> 00:49:00

no baggage or attachments, okay?

00:49:04 --> 00:49:05

Mashallah, man.

00:49:08 --> 00:49:10

I never want to hear anything about feminism

00:49:10 --> 00:49:13

ever again after that reaction.

00:49:14 --> 00:49:16

They're like, where are the guys who can

00:49:16 --> 00:49:17

come kill this for us?

00:49:18 --> 00:49:18

Right?

00:49:21 --> 00:49:22

Okay.

00:49:22 --> 00:49:22

There we go.

00:49:22 --> 00:49:22

Mashallah.

00:49:23 --> 00:49:24

Iman's going to take care of it.

00:49:24 --> 00:49:25

Alright.

00:49:25 --> 00:49:27

So let's get back to Q&A, inshallah.

00:49:27 --> 00:49:27

It'll be fine.

00:49:27 --> 00:49:29

I promise you it's not poisonous.

00:49:29 --> 00:49:29

You'll be okay.

00:49:31 --> 00:49:33

My dad used to say when we were

00:49:33 --> 00:49:35

scared of bugs growing up, he would say,

00:49:35 --> 00:49:37

just think to yourself, who's bigger, you or

00:49:37 --> 00:49:37

the bug?

00:49:37 --> 00:49:38

And that helped a lot.

00:49:39 --> 00:49:41

So to answer the question, again to finish

00:49:41 --> 00:49:42

because this is a really serious question.

00:49:43 --> 00:49:45

Thank you, bug, for derailing.

00:49:46 --> 00:49:46

Narcissist.

00:49:46 --> 00:49:47

Okay.

00:49:49 --> 00:49:51

You do not have to disclose previous sins

00:49:51 --> 00:49:53

if there's no effect that is ongoing or

00:49:53 --> 00:49:54

long lasting.

00:49:54 --> 00:49:57

Now, again, this is tough because obviously, naturally

00:49:57 --> 00:49:59

it's one of those things that's in the

00:49:59 --> 00:50:00

fiqh books, it says one thing, but then

00:50:00 --> 00:50:02

in real life, there's the nature of those

00:50:02 --> 00:50:03

conversations.

00:50:03 --> 00:50:05

So you're allowed to keep that between you

00:50:05 --> 00:50:08

and Allah and that is what it is.

00:50:09 --> 00:50:12

It's obviously your choice to disclose if you

00:50:12 --> 00:50:13

want to and if you feel like that

00:50:13 --> 00:50:16

is appropriate, but the advice from the Sharia

00:50:16 --> 00:50:17

is not to disclose.

00:50:17 --> 00:50:19

That is the advice from the Sharia, but

00:50:19 --> 00:50:21

again, it's up to you if you feel

00:50:21 --> 00:50:24

like the person would understand that it was

00:50:24 --> 00:50:27

from a previous season of your life, etc.

00:50:27 --> 00:50:29

But again, the Sharia says you do not

00:50:29 --> 00:50:30

have to.

00:50:30 --> 00:50:32

And also, as a result of that, this

00:50:32 --> 00:50:35

also means that you should not pressure a

00:50:35 --> 00:50:36

person if they give you an answer.

00:50:39 --> 00:50:41

But if a person, for example, has some

00:50:41 --> 00:50:43

kind of health condition or something that they

00:50:43 --> 00:50:46

did not disclose, that is a major sin.

00:50:46 --> 00:50:47

A major sin.

00:50:48 --> 00:50:50

It can actually violate the entire contract of

00:50:50 --> 00:50:53

the Nikah if they do not disclose, if

00:50:53 --> 00:50:54

they have a health condition as a result

00:50:54 --> 00:50:54

of that.

00:50:54 --> 00:50:55

Okay?

00:50:55 --> 00:50:57

So you can't hide those things.

00:50:57 --> 00:50:59

Those are realities that you have to share.

00:50:59 --> 00:51:00

May Allah make it easy.

00:51:02 --> 00:51:03

Oh, man.

00:51:04 --> 00:51:05

This is a really good question.

00:51:05 --> 00:51:06

I just don't want to answer it.

00:51:06 --> 00:51:07

Not like that.

00:51:08 --> 00:51:09

I want to answer it, but...

00:51:10 --> 00:51:10

Okay.

00:51:12 --> 00:51:14

I have missed a lot of prayers for

00:51:14 --> 00:51:16

many years when I did not pray.

00:51:17 --> 00:51:20

How do I go about making those up?

00:51:20 --> 00:51:22

Will all the missed ones be held against

00:51:22 --> 00:51:22

me?

00:51:23 --> 00:51:23

Okay.

00:51:26 --> 00:51:27

Okay, so...

00:51:28 --> 00:51:30

There are a couple different ways that the

00:51:30 --> 00:51:31

Sharia handles this.

00:51:32 --> 00:51:32

Okay?

00:51:34 --> 00:51:36

The evidences that we have...

00:51:36 --> 00:51:38

Notice I'm not speaking from my own opinion

00:51:38 --> 00:51:38

here.

00:51:38 --> 00:51:40

This is research that we've done.

00:51:40 --> 00:51:42

The evidence that we have and the general

00:51:42 --> 00:51:46

understanding from the major schools is that if

00:51:46 --> 00:51:49

a person misses a prayer that they need

00:51:49 --> 00:51:49

to make it up.

00:51:50 --> 00:51:51

That's called Qadha.

00:51:52 --> 00:51:55

So if I miss, for example, Maghrib, I

00:51:55 --> 00:51:56

have to pray Maghrib.

00:51:57 --> 00:51:58

I can't just be like, oh, well.

00:51:58 --> 00:52:00

Another one, like there it goes.

00:52:01 --> 00:52:02

I have to make it up.

00:52:02 --> 00:52:02

Okay?

00:52:03 --> 00:52:04

We understand that?

00:52:04 --> 00:52:05

Okay.

00:52:07 --> 00:52:09

Any of the five prayers, Fajr, Dhuhr, Asr,

00:52:09 --> 00:52:10

Maghrib, Isha, you have to make them up.

00:52:11 --> 00:52:11

Okay?

00:52:14 --> 00:52:17

What the fiqh books don't talk about, and

00:52:17 --> 00:52:21

this is a challenge for modern scholars, not

00:52:21 --> 00:52:24

myself, but my teachers, is what if a

00:52:24 --> 00:52:25

person has a decade?

00:52:27 --> 00:52:28

Right?

00:52:28 --> 00:52:28

So you do the math.

00:52:28 --> 00:52:32

Five prayers a day, 365 days a year,

00:52:32 --> 00:52:33

times 10.

00:52:34 --> 00:52:37

We're literally talking about the tens of thousands

00:52:37 --> 00:52:37

of prayers.

00:52:39 --> 00:52:39

Okay?

00:52:39 --> 00:52:41

And there are a lot of people in

00:52:41 --> 00:52:41

that scenario.

00:52:41 --> 00:52:42

A lot.

00:52:43 --> 00:52:46

So it was actually at Roots a couple

00:52:46 --> 00:52:47

times that this one guy came up to

00:52:47 --> 00:52:50

me with his calculator app open, and he

00:52:50 --> 00:52:53

showed me like 37,415.

00:52:54 --> 00:52:56

And I'm like, what is that?

00:52:56 --> 00:52:57

And he goes, this is the amount of

00:52:57 --> 00:52:58

prayers I have to make up.

00:52:59 --> 00:53:01

And he goes, how do I do it?

00:53:02 --> 00:53:05

And I was frozen.

00:53:05 --> 00:53:07

I was like, you know, that's a lot.

00:53:07 --> 00:53:09

So then I did what anyone would do,

00:53:09 --> 00:53:11

and I said, let me call Shaykh Abdul

00:53:11 --> 00:53:11

Nasser.

00:53:14 --> 00:53:16

So I called Shaykh Abdul Nasser, because I've

00:53:16 --> 00:53:18

heard some opinions from others, but they're not

00:53:18 --> 00:53:19

from my teachers, so I didn't want to

00:53:19 --> 00:53:19

take them.

00:53:19 --> 00:53:22

Meaning like I didn't understand the science behind

00:53:22 --> 00:53:23

them, how they got to that opinion.

00:53:24 --> 00:53:25

I've heard it, but I didn't want to

00:53:25 --> 00:53:25

adopt it.

00:53:26 --> 00:53:27

So I called Shaykh Abdul Nasser, and we

00:53:27 --> 00:53:30

actually spoke to also Mufti Muntasir, who you

00:53:30 --> 00:53:33

may have seen him during Ramadan here, about

00:53:33 --> 00:53:34

this issue.

00:53:35 --> 00:53:37

And what we found was, if we looked

00:53:37 --> 00:53:39

at the narrations and hadith, we found that

00:53:39 --> 00:53:41

there were no narrations that dealt with this

00:53:41 --> 00:53:43

macro amount of missed prayers.

00:53:44 --> 00:53:47

All the ahadith that we looked at, where

00:53:47 --> 00:53:49

the Prophet, peace be upon him, commanded prayers

00:53:49 --> 00:53:52

to be made up, were done in a

00:53:52 --> 00:53:56

micro command, like the day of prayers.

00:53:57 --> 00:53:59

And to be fair, it's also because the

00:53:59 --> 00:54:01

companions wouldn't just skip like 10 years of

00:54:01 --> 00:54:02

prayers.

00:54:03 --> 00:54:05

But I digress.

00:54:05 --> 00:54:08

So what Mufti Muntasir and Shaykh Abdul Nasser

00:54:08 --> 00:54:11

and I discussed, and there is an opinion

00:54:11 --> 00:54:12

from Ibn Taymiyyah, which I thought was really

00:54:12 --> 00:54:13

interesting.

00:54:13 --> 00:54:14

So going back to the classics.

00:54:15 --> 00:54:18

Ibn Taymiyyah actually said something really interesting that

00:54:18 --> 00:54:19

I think is helpful here.

00:54:19 --> 00:54:22

He said, if you've missed a lot of

00:54:22 --> 00:54:26

prayers and you find it difficult to make

00:54:26 --> 00:54:30

up all the prayers, he said number one,

00:54:31 --> 00:54:32

stop skipping your prayers now.

00:54:33 --> 00:54:34

Okay, so start.

00:54:35 --> 00:54:36

Like immediately start.

00:54:36 --> 00:54:40

Number two, he said, try to pray every

00:54:40 --> 00:54:42

Nafl or Sunnah prayer you can.

00:54:45 --> 00:54:47

And number three, of course, which is really

00:54:47 --> 00:54:49

number zero, it's the first, is make tawbah.

00:54:49 --> 00:54:50

Repent for that.

00:54:51 --> 00:54:54

And he said, because his opinion was that

00:54:54 --> 00:54:55

if you miss a prayer, you cannot actually,

00:54:56 --> 00:54:57

if you intentionally miss a prayer, you can't

00:54:57 --> 00:54:58

make it up.

00:54:59 --> 00:54:59

That was his opinion.

00:55:00 --> 00:55:00

He was very strict on that.

00:55:01 --> 00:55:04

But the point being is, when you look

00:55:04 --> 00:55:07

at the amount, it is simply impossible.

00:55:08 --> 00:55:10

And then there are some scholars, and again,

00:55:10 --> 00:55:12

they're in their right to suggest this.

00:55:12 --> 00:55:14

They say that you should make up with

00:55:14 --> 00:55:15

every Dhuhr, you should pray like four or

00:55:15 --> 00:55:15

five.

00:55:16 --> 00:55:18

Here's the issue there, and this is what

00:55:18 --> 00:55:20

Mufti Muntasir and Sharma Nasser brought up, is

00:55:20 --> 00:55:21

that if a person does that, those prayers

00:55:21 --> 00:55:25

become at some point performative and meaningless.

00:55:26 --> 00:55:28

And the purpose of prayer is dhikr.

00:55:29 --> 00:55:30

And so if a person is praying five

00:55:30 --> 00:55:33

Dhuhrs every day, you know, you can bet

00:55:33 --> 00:55:37

that by the ninth Rakah, they're going to

00:55:37 --> 00:55:40

be like, you know, just, I mean, if

00:55:40 --> 00:55:41

they can keep their wudu for the entire

00:55:41 --> 00:55:43

time, it's going to be a performance.

00:55:44 --> 00:55:47

So the opinion that I received from my

00:55:47 --> 00:55:50

teachers for someone in this scenario, this is

00:55:50 --> 00:55:51

not talking about, oh, I missed prayers today.

00:55:52 --> 00:55:54

This is like, I'm coming back to practicing

00:55:54 --> 00:55:57

Islam after years of being away and not

00:55:57 --> 00:55:58

praying.

00:55:58 --> 00:56:00

The opinion that I got from my teachers,

00:56:00 --> 00:56:02

and Allah knows best, is the opinion of

00:56:02 --> 00:56:05

Ibn Taymiyyah, where he says, make tawbah, start

00:56:05 --> 00:56:08

praying immediately, and pray as many nafl as

00:56:08 --> 00:56:09

you can, which means what?

00:56:09 --> 00:56:11

Tarawih is not an option for you.

00:56:12 --> 00:56:14

Like, it's an option for Muslims, but for

00:56:14 --> 00:56:17

you, it is not an option, right?

00:56:18 --> 00:56:20

And for me, for all of us, we

00:56:20 --> 00:56:21

have to make up our prayers.

00:56:22 --> 00:56:24

And tarawih is nafl, and that's one of

00:56:24 --> 00:56:24

the best ways to do it.

00:56:25 --> 00:56:27

Sunnah for your salah, don't skip on those.

00:56:27 --> 00:56:29

Don't skip on your sunnah, right?

00:56:29 --> 00:56:30

Pray those.

00:56:30 --> 00:56:31

Because that is going to be the way

00:56:31 --> 00:56:32

to make those up.

00:56:32 --> 00:56:35

And the hadith that is taken from this

00:56:35 --> 00:56:36

to prove this, is the hadith on the

00:56:36 --> 00:56:38

Day of Judgment, the first thing that is

00:56:38 --> 00:56:39

going to be looked at from all the

00:56:39 --> 00:56:40

servants is their prayer.

00:56:40 --> 00:56:42

If it is deficient, then Allah will look

00:56:42 --> 00:56:43

at their sunnah prayers.

00:56:44 --> 00:56:45

And that is the hadith that Shaykh Abul

00:56:45 --> 00:56:47

Nasir quoted when he gave me this.

00:56:47 --> 00:56:50

So, if you feel overwhelmed by the amount

00:56:50 --> 00:56:51

of prayers that you have to make up,

00:56:51 --> 00:56:53

we're not talking about a couple of prayers,

00:56:53 --> 00:56:56

we're talking about like thousands, then you can

00:56:56 --> 00:56:59

inshallah begin with the methodology that I gave,

00:56:59 --> 00:57:00

wallahu alam, Allah knows best.

00:57:00 --> 00:57:02

And I don't mean to discount any other

00:57:02 --> 00:57:03

opinion that you've heard, this is not a

00:57:03 --> 00:57:04

battle, this is not a rap battle.

00:57:05 --> 00:57:07

This is just sharing an opinion inshallah, okay?

00:57:08 --> 00:57:10

We'll do one or two more questions and

00:57:10 --> 00:57:11

then isha is at 9 o'clock.

00:57:14 --> 00:57:16

There are times when I trust Allah but

00:57:16 --> 00:57:17

my anxiety spikes anyways.

00:57:18 --> 00:57:20

How can you maintain your relationship and trust

00:57:20 --> 00:57:23

with Allah during times of uncertainty?

00:57:24 --> 00:57:28

Look, anxiety is a human experience.

00:57:28 --> 00:57:30

It's part of your emotional palate.

00:57:31 --> 00:57:33

Every single person is going to experience anxiety.

00:57:34 --> 00:57:35

I mean, even the Prophet, peace be upon

00:57:35 --> 00:57:40

him, you know, Allah Ta'ala says about

00:57:41 --> 00:57:42

his ...

00:57:43 --> 00:57:43

...

00:57:47 --> 00:57:48

Allah says to him like, are you going

00:57:48 --> 00:57:50

to like, basically, are you going to like

00:57:51 --> 00:57:52

die as a result of the fact that

00:57:52 --> 00:57:54

these people aren't listening to you?

00:57:54 --> 00:57:55

They're not taking your message seriously?

00:57:56 --> 00:57:58

Allah said this to him in the Quran

00:57:58 --> 00:58:00

saying, just because they're not obeying you, just

00:58:00 --> 00:58:03

because they're not converting to Islam, like you're

00:58:03 --> 00:58:05

going to actually like end your life as

00:58:05 --> 00:58:05

a result of that?

00:58:05 --> 00:58:07

You're going to let the anxiety overtake you?

00:58:07 --> 00:58:08

No.

00:58:08 --> 00:58:10

So anxiety is something everybody experiences.

00:58:10 --> 00:58:11

Everybody.

00:58:12 --> 00:58:13

It's why we make dua for Allah to

00:58:13 --> 00:58:16

protect us from huzan, from sadness, from grief,

00:58:16 --> 00:58:17

from all these things.

00:58:18 --> 00:58:19

So, does it mean that a person is

00:58:19 --> 00:58:20

less of a Muslim?

00:58:21 --> 00:58:22

No, it does not.

00:58:22 --> 00:58:25

What is an indication though of your iman

00:58:25 --> 00:58:27

is how ...

00:58:27 --> 00:58:29

is not if you don't have anxiety or

00:58:29 --> 00:58:30

do, but how quickly you can recover from

00:58:30 --> 00:58:31

it.

00:58:31 --> 00:58:33

That's the indication that we're working on.

00:58:34 --> 00:58:36

Don't ever try to erase something that's natural.

00:58:37 --> 00:58:39

You're going to end up, you know, like

00:58:39 --> 00:58:40

a person who says, ah, I never want

00:58:40 --> 00:58:41

to get angry again.

00:58:42 --> 00:58:43

Dunya sucks, man.

00:58:43 --> 00:58:44

You're going to get angry, right?

00:58:44 --> 00:58:45

You are.

00:58:45 --> 00:58:46

Something's going to happen.

00:58:46 --> 00:58:46

You're going to snap.

00:58:46 --> 00:58:47

And then you're going to say, I'm a

00:58:47 --> 00:58:48

failure.

00:58:48 --> 00:58:49

I'm not a good Muslim.

00:58:49 --> 00:58:49

No.

00:58:50 --> 00:58:52

Spirituality never asks you to not be human.

00:58:53 --> 00:58:53

Ever.

00:58:54 --> 00:58:57

All Islam asks of every human being is,

00:58:58 --> 00:59:01

how quickly can you recover from that less

00:59:01 --> 00:59:02

than ideal state?

00:59:02 --> 00:59:05

How quickly can you bounce back from that?

00:59:05 --> 00:59:07

Is it going to take you like two

00:59:07 --> 00:59:08

weeks?

00:59:08 --> 00:59:09

Is it going to take you a week?

00:59:10 --> 00:59:10

A couple days?

00:59:10 --> 00:59:11

A couple hours?

00:59:11 --> 00:59:12

Maybe a few minutes?

00:59:13 --> 00:59:14

And for those of you that have like

00:59:14 --> 00:59:16

worked on yourselves, maybe there's something in your

00:59:16 --> 00:59:17

life that you've worked on.

00:59:17 --> 00:59:20

Being more patient, being less angry, etc.

00:59:20 --> 00:59:21

You know what I'm talking about.

00:59:22 --> 00:59:24

There are things that now, when they set

00:59:24 --> 00:59:26

you off, you recover in like a few

00:59:26 --> 00:59:26

minutes.

00:59:27 --> 00:59:29

That a few years ago, you would be

00:59:29 --> 00:59:32

obsessing over that for like days or weeks

00:59:32 --> 00:59:33

on end.

00:59:33 --> 00:59:34

That's progress.

00:59:34 --> 00:59:36

That's the sign that your Iman is increasing.

00:59:37 --> 00:59:40

So our goal is that our Iman, the

00:59:40 --> 00:59:43

spiritual side of who we are, meets our

00:59:43 --> 00:59:44

human side.

00:59:45 --> 00:59:47

We just want it to get there quicker.

00:59:48 --> 00:59:50

Don't ever erase the human side.

00:59:50 --> 00:59:50

You can't.

00:59:52 --> 00:59:56

Desires, anxiety, doubt, depressive thoughts.

00:59:56 --> 00:59:57

All these things are going to happen.

00:59:57 --> 00:59:58

They're all going to happen.

00:59:58 --> 01:00:01

And they're all experiences that Allah created you

01:00:01 --> 01:00:01

and I with.

01:00:02 --> 01:00:04

The test is not to erase them.

01:00:04 --> 01:00:06

It's to respond to them with your belief

01:00:06 --> 01:00:06

in Allah.

01:00:07 --> 01:00:09

So you mentioned, for example, I have Tawakkul,

01:00:09 --> 01:00:11

but my anxiety spikes.

01:00:11 --> 01:00:11

Good.

01:00:12 --> 01:00:14

So far, so good.

01:00:14 --> 01:00:16

Now you have to do is when your

01:00:16 --> 01:00:18

anxiety spikes, you have to develop a game

01:00:18 --> 01:00:21

plan with how do I use this Tawakkul

01:00:21 --> 01:00:24

that I have to bring my anxiety down.

01:00:24 --> 01:00:27

Do I remember previous instances in my life

01:00:27 --> 01:00:28

where I had doubt, but Allah took care

01:00:28 --> 01:00:29

of me?

01:00:29 --> 01:00:31

Do I remember the stories of my friends?

01:00:31 --> 01:00:33

Do I keep good company around people that

01:00:33 --> 01:00:35

are going to be positive and tell me

01:00:35 --> 01:00:36

that it's going to be okay?

01:00:36 --> 01:00:38

I mean, literally, before I got here, one

01:00:38 --> 01:00:39

of the reasons why I was a little

01:00:39 --> 01:00:41

bit late was because my son was having

01:00:41 --> 01:00:42

a lot of stress over his homework.

01:00:42 --> 01:00:43

Second grade's tough.

01:00:46 --> 01:00:47

And, you know, kids say weird things, right?

01:00:47 --> 01:00:49

They say things that you've never said to

01:00:49 --> 01:00:49

them.

01:00:49 --> 01:00:51

They say things like, I'm so dumb, I'm

01:00:51 --> 01:00:53

not smart, everyone else is smarter than me,

01:00:53 --> 01:00:53

etc.

01:00:53 --> 01:00:54

And you look at them and you're saying,

01:00:54 --> 01:00:56

like, so I literally just had to hug

01:00:56 --> 01:00:58

him because when he hugs my wife, they're

01:00:58 --> 01:00:59

the same size.

01:01:00 --> 01:01:01

So it just looks like two adults hugging.

01:01:02 --> 01:01:03

Okay?

01:01:03 --> 01:01:04

So I had to, like, hug him because

01:01:04 --> 01:01:05

I'm the only person in my house that

01:01:05 --> 01:01:08

can, like, like, bear him, like, you know?

01:01:09 --> 01:01:10

And I just told him, I said, look,

01:01:11 --> 01:01:12

is everything okay?

01:01:12 --> 01:01:13

Do you have food?

01:01:14 --> 01:01:15

Do you have a bed?

01:01:15 --> 01:01:17

You have Jordans, we all know that, right?

01:01:18 --> 01:01:19

Do you have this?

01:01:19 --> 01:01:19

Do you have that?

01:01:19 --> 01:01:20

He goes, yes, yes.

01:01:20 --> 01:01:22

And with every question I asked him, I

01:01:22 --> 01:01:25

was basically trying to explain to him, what's

01:01:25 --> 01:01:26

the worst that's happening, Baba?

01:01:26 --> 01:01:27

Like, what's the worst that's happening?

01:01:28 --> 01:01:29

Again, I use the example of my son

01:01:29 --> 01:01:31

because sometimes you need to do that to

01:01:31 --> 01:01:32

your own nerves.

01:01:33 --> 01:01:36

You're having this anxiety, this panic, you need

01:01:36 --> 01:01:39

to sit down and say, am I healthy?

01:01:40 --> 01:01:42

Do I have food?

01:01:42 --> 01:01:44

Do I have a roof over my head?

01:01:44 --> 01:01:46

Do I have, and if I don't, do

01:01:46 --> 01:01:47

I have people that can help me?

01:01:48 --> 01:01:49

Am I part of a community that will

01:01:49 --> 01:01:50

provide for me?

01:01:50 --> 01:01:51

I mean, if you go far enough down

01:01:51 --> 01:01:53

the line, there's always going to be comfort.

01:01:54 --> 01:01:54

Okay?

01:01:55 --> 01:01:57

So, don't ever, ever think that anxiety is

01:01:57 --> 01:01:58

a bad sign.

01:01:58 --> 01:01:59

Of course, it's natural.

01:01:59 --> 01:02:01

But know that where your tawakkul meets your

01:02:01 --> 01:02:03

anxiety is a sign of your faith.

01:02:03 --> 01:02:04

May Allah Ta'ala make it easy.

01:02:08 --> 01:02:10

Oh, yes, thank you for reminding me.

01:02:10 --> 01:02:11

SubhanAllah, subhanAllah.

01:02:11 --> 01:02:12

In the rush here, I totally, totally forgot.

01:02:12 --> 01:02:14

I did not forget but it slipped my

01:02:14 --> 01:02:14

mind.

01:02:15 --> 01:02:19

There is a brother in Missouri.

01:02:20 --> 01:02:23

His name is Marcellus but I believe his

01:02:23 --> 01:02:28

chosen Muslim name is Khalifa and he is

01:02:28 --> 01:02:33

innocent of any crime that he's been convicted

01:02:33 --> 01:02:37

of or accused of and he is set

01:02:37 --> 01:02:39

to be executed unfortunately tomorrow.

01:02:40 --> 01:02:42

There is, through the Innocence Project, there is

01:02:42 --> 01:02:44

a petition and a motion.

01:02:44 --> 01:02:45

I saw it on the news today, subhanAllah.

01:02:47 --> 01:02:49

And I want everybody tonight to go and

01:02:49 --> 01:02:51

search for his name, Marcellus, M-A-R

01:02:51 --> 01:02:53

-C-E-L-L-U-S.

01:02:53 --> 01:02:53

If you can do it right now, you

01:02:53 --> 01:02:54

can.

01:02:54 --> 01:02:55

Please, before Isha.

01:02:56 --> 01:02:58

And I want everyone here to sign the

01:02:58 --> 01:02:59

Innocence Project petition.

01:02:59 --> 01:03:02

They're not even asking for a definitive innocence

01:03:02 --> 01:03:02

plea.

01:03:02 --> 01:03:04

They're just asking for more time.

01:03:04 --> 01:03:04

Yes.

01:03:05 --> 01:03:08

Marcellus, M-A-R-C-E-L-L

01:03:08 --> 01:03:08

-U-S.

01:03:11 --> 01:03:12

Yeah, Imam Omar shared it.

01:03:13 --> 01:03:13

He shared the link.

01:03:14 --> 01:03:15

I know a bunch of us shared it.

01:03:15 --> 01:03:17

But please go and sign the petition.

01:03:17 --> 01:03:19

All they're asking for is a stay of

01:03:19 --> 01:03:21

the conviction in order to re-investigate because

01:03:21 --> 01:03:23

now, subhanAllah, if you read the story it's

01:03:23 --> 01:03:24

crazy.

01:03:25 --> 01:03:28

Every political body in that process has said

01:03:28 --> 01:03:29

that he did not commit the crime.

01:03:30 --> 01:03:34

Except for this one obviously racist judge that

01:03:34 --> 01:03:34

is upholding the sentence.

01:03:35 --> 01:03:37

And so we're hoping, inshaAllah, that Allah Ta

01:03:37 --> 01:03:39

'ala will descend His mercy tonight and will

01:03:39 --> 01:03:42

give the Haqq and the truth to our

01:03:42 --> 01:03:43

brother Marcellus.

01:03:43 --> 01:03:44

We pray that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

01:03:44 --> 01:03:48

will save him from this terrible, oppressive fate.

01:03:48 --> 01:03:49

We pray that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

01:03:49 --> 01:03:52

will make this something that will be a

01:03:52 --> 01:03:54

lesson for all those who are oppressors.

01:03:54 --> 01:03:56

We ask Allah Ta'ala to allow us

01:03:56 --> 01:03:57

to see the wisdom in this trial.

01:03:57 --> 01:03:58

Ameen, Ya Rabbi, Ameen.

01:03:58 --> 01:03:59

But please, everybody go do that, inshaAllah.

01:04:02 --> 01:04:04

Okay, last question then we'll end, inshaAllah.

01:04:05 --> 01:04:08

When you get trusted with a secret and

01:04:08 --> 01:04:11

someone else asks about it, how do I

01:04:11 --> 01:04:12

avoid answering the question?

01:04:12 --> 01:04:14

Because if I say I don't know, then

01:04:14 --> 01:04:15

I'm lying.

01:04:15 --> 01:04:17

I have a little bit of an unorthodox

01:04:17 --> 01:04:18

way of handling this.

01:04:21 --> 01:04:21

Very good, Muhammad.

01:04:22 --> 01:04:22

Excellent.

01:04:22 --> 01:04:25

Muhammad here is visiting us from, you're from

01:04:25 --> 01:04:26

Tanzania, but you were from Saudi, right?

01:04:27 --> 01:04:27

Saudi Arabia?

01:04:27 --> 01:04:28

Yeah.

01:04:28 --> 01:04:29

So he's visiting us.

01:04:29 --> 01:04:29

I met him today.

01:04:30 --> 01:04:31

He just said the right answer.

01:04:31 --> 01:04:31

Just tell the person.

01:04:32 --> 01:04:33

It's a secret.

01:04:33 --> 01:04:34

I can't tell you.

01:04:34 --> 01:04:36

I'm not obliged to tell you.

01:04:37 --> 01:04:37

Sorry.

01:04:37 --> 01:04:38

I'm not at liberty to tell you.

01:04:39 --> 01:04:39

Right?

01:04:39 --> 01:04:42

I think that, subhanAllah, in some ways, we

01:04:42 --> 01:04:43

think about it.

01:04:43 --> 01:04:45

When you're keeping a secret for somebody, your

01:04:45 --> 01:04:47

priority is not the comfort of the one

01:04:47 --> 01:04:48

trying to find out.

01:04:49 --> 01:04:51

Your priority is the comfort of the one

01:04:51 --> 01:04:51

that's trusting you.

01:04:52 --> 01:04:54

If there's a person that's digging, trying to

01:04:54 --> 01:04:56

figure it out, you're allowed to make that

01:04:56 --> 01:04:57

person uncomfortable.

01:04:58 --> 01:05:00

Like, I would turn it back on them.

01:05:00 --> 01:05:02

Like, hey, why are you asking me this?

01:05:03 --> 01:05:03

You know?

01:05:03 --> 01:05:04

Yeah, the gaslighting?

01:05:04 --> 01:05:04

Yeah, yeah.

01:05:05 --> 01:05:06

I would gaslight them, right?

01:05:07 --> 01:05:10

I would tell them, like, hey, it's none

01:05:10 --> 01:05:12

of your business whether or not this person

01:05:12 --> 01:05:13

is or is not or did or did

01:05:13 --> 01:05:14

not.

01:05:14 --> 01:05:15

It's none of your business, right?

01:05:15 --> 01:05:17

And frankly, it's actually not my business.

01:05:17 --> 01:05:19

They trusted me with a piece of information.

01:05:19 --> 01:05:20

Let's just change the topic.

01:05:20 --> 01:05:22

And you don't have to necessarily end a

01:05:22 --> 01:05:22

friendship over it.

01:05:22 --> 01:05:23

You're like, you know what?

01:05:23 --> 01:05:23

No.

01:05:23 --> 01:05:23

I'm leaving.

01:05:24 --> 01:05:25

You don't have to do that.

01:05:25 --> 01:05:26

But you can just tell the person, like,

01:05:26 --> 01:05:29

hey, this person trusted me and just like

01:05:29 --> 01:05:29

if you...

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