Mirza Yawar Baig – Your greatest legacy
AI: Summary ©
The importance of community in shaping behavior and culture is highlighted, with a focus on parents' role in teaching children to value and serve their parents and community members. The speaker emphasizes the need for parents to teach children to value and serve their parents and community members, and to teach children not to cause discomfort or anxiety and avoid future negative consequences from past relationships.
AI: Summary ©
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم الحمد لله رب العالمين
والصلاة والسلام على أشرف الأنبياء والمرسلين محمد رسول
الله صلى الله عليه وعلى آله وسلم تسليمًا
كثيرًا كثيرًا فمن بعده I'm sitting under this
tree and I'm literally within maybe 10 feet
of these beautiful amazing birds, the sandhill cranes
absolutely incredible and it's a pair with two
youngsters the male is standing there on top
as you can see he's the guardian, the
custodian, the sentinel and he doesn't see any
danger from me so he doesn't give any
alarm call and he hasn't, there is no
danger from me and this is the one
in front here, this is one of the
juveniles behind him or her, I don't know
how to distinguish is the mother and behind
that is the other juvenile absolute privilege subhanAllah,
I thank Allah for granting me this privilege
of being in such close quarters with these
birds my brothers and sisters, one of the
big things to teach our children is the
value of community, the value of togetherness and
that begins in the home, in the nursery,
in the family as many of you know
and those who don't know, you will know
now that I consult with business families, family
business consulting is my specialty I have a
book on it called the business of family
business and one of the things I see
that, I see with business families and I
am very sorry when I see it, I
wish I didn't have to see it is
internecine conflict, conflict between brothers, conflict with the
father I know a case in which where
the sons filed a suit against the mother
the mother about whom Islam teaches us that
under her feet is Jannah and imagine a
son filed a suit, case against the mother
over what?
not over that piece of Jannah under her
feet but for some father's property, father passed
away, father's property or piece of business and
so on many times people come to me,
wealthy people, all of these are wealthy people
some of them are millionaires, some of them
are billionaires I have one client whose business
is 4 billion dollars so we are not
talking about small money, we are talking about
people who may Allah have mercy on them
and us all I can say is that
they didn't raise their children right and that's
what I want to talk about now how
do you raise your children right or what
is the meaning of raising them right that
is a squirrel, it's a peculiar squirrel to
this place it has a long tail and
it has a black mark on its forehead
anyway let me stay with my cranes so
we don't bring them, we don't raise them
right and when I say we don't raise
them right, the biggest mistake we do is
we don't orient them towards their responsibility as
community members and as I said that starts
with the family the community begins with the
family in Islam the family is the fundamental
foundational building block of the community and that's
why Rasulullah said that Jannah is under the
feet of the mother and the father is
the door to Jannah when one of them
dies, he said that both the parents are
the doors to Jannah and the father is
the door to Jannah under the mother's feet
is Jannah for the person, for the son
and daughter and he said that when one
of the parents dies, one door to Jannah
closes for you when the other parent dies,
the other door for Jannah closes for you
so take care of your parents, value them,
serve them, be good to them and Allah
SWT went to the extent in the Quran
of saying do not even say oof to
them do not express any displeasure with them
it is your job to please them, it
is not their job to please you and
this is where we get caught up in
the problem that we create for ourselves so
sense of community, how do you teach that
sense of community?
one very simple way which is very simple
but it's very profound and that is that
in the nursery and I'm sure every single
one of us has seen this scenario playing
out in the nursery, one child gets a
toy and the other child wants the toy
mostly only because the other one has it
it's not that this child was genuinely interested
in that toy but you know, if the
other one has it, I must have it
and the usual response of parents, especially wealthy
parents is don't fight, I'll get you your
own, I will get you your own now
take that same child, fast forward 40 years
and you have a case in court, brother
against brother sons against father and so on
guess where that case really began in the
nursery, when that son and that daughter and
those sons were 3 years old, 4 years
old, 2 years old and what message did
the parents teach them?
don't share with your brothers, don't share with
your siblings what belongs to you is yours,
grab it, keep it don't lose it, fight
for it even if in the fight you
hurt your sibling, you harm your sibling you
offend your sibling, doesn't matter you must get
that piece of trash which is called your
property that piece of trash is more important
than the bond that Allah created between you
and your siblings, that trash is more important
this is what we are teaching them, believe
it or not this is what we are
teaching them I know we don't teach them
in these words I am just vocalizing for
you the lessons that our children are learning
thanks to how we raise them and if
that is the lesson we teach them that
is the lesson that they are going to
learn so teach them to share, tell
them it's we not you and me, it's
we you know my Sensei in Aikido my
very dear friend Julius Ebb he told me
a wonderful story once in Bangalore and this
is in 1994 Julius has two beautiful children,
a boy and a girl and at that
time if I'm not mistaken his son is
older, the son must have been about 5
and the daughter was probably about 3 or
something they slept in their room across a
little hallway from their parents' room and the
first thing they did as soon as they
woke up in the morning is the two
of them would come and they would climb
on top of the bed and they would
wrestle with the father they would wrestle with
Julius and Julius said to me that if
they, when they come to wrestle me one
by one, individually I always make sure that
they fail I mean you know you're wrestling
a 2 year old, 3 year old so
he said I always ensure that they fail
that they don't win but if they come
together, if they gang up and come on
me then I fall down now imagine, he
didn't say a single word about you should
be together, don't fight, share, no but the
behavior itself is giving this huge message to
the brother and the sister that this is
my brother, this is my sister I need
to take care of them they're mine, I
need to take care of them and there's
no money and there's no land and there's
no material, there's no property that supersedes these
people that supersedes me and my relationship with
my brother or my sister that is the
message that is being given and that's what
I suggest to you, teach them we and
not I, we and not I and that
doesn't come by lectures it comes by teaching
with example which means that if you are
one of those who has a suit against
your brother in the court the first thing
you do after you finish listening to this
reminder is call your attorney and say I'm
withdrawing my suit because when a relationship is
involved especially a blood relationship is involved money
has no meaning we don't look at cost
when it is blood we don't look at
cost when it is our family we don't
count the cost when my brother comes to
stay with me I hope he can stay,
I wish he can stay forever that he
doesn't need to go back at all that
is the spirit not to say how long
is he going to stay what is it
costing me bill of grocery bill is going
up heating bill is going up brothers and
sisters, this is the most valuable lesson that
you can teach your children so please, go
ahead and do that as I said, start
with yourself withdraw any case you have against
your brother, against your sister against your father,
against your mother, whoever curse on those people
who file suits against their parents take it
off don't die with that don't go to
Allah with that don't fight your own blood
because no money compensates and no money is
enough to pay the value of your own
blood Peace and blessings be upon the Prophet
and his family and his companions with the
mercy of Allah