Suhaib Webb – Fiqh Of Nikah – Part One

Suhaib Webb
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The speakers discuss the cultural and political importance of Islamic law, including its use in society and potential danger. They also discuss the historical and political views of " ahwal" and its significance in personal relationships and political realities. The speakers stress the importance of learning classics and understanding the meaning of " ADopt" in the western world, as well as the importance of living in neighborhoods and writing about family law. They also discuss the use of "ah wages" in writing and the importance of respect in the Islamic law. The importance of marriage as a base for marriage is emphasized, along with the importance of engagement and critical thinking in society. The speakers also discuss the importance of marriage as a driver of social stability and the primary purpose of marriage.

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			We often, unfortunately, as we'll talk about it
		
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			today, we think of Islam as an abstraction,
		
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			especially Islamic law.
		
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			But it's important, as we'll see hopefully today,
		
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			that Islamic law has value, brings value to
		
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			society.
		
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			And there's a reason that it's kind of
		
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			located anachronistically as an abstraction.
		
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			Because the history is romanticized, and the present
		
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			is like, you're a modernist, or you're a
		
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			sellout, right?
		
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			We'll talk about the danger of that, hopefully,
		
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			today.
		
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			So you can have access to that text,
		
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			and then we get to send you all
		
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			kind of emails about my school.
		
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			That's all good.
		
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			Got to help each other scale.
		
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			So as you can see, if you were
		
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			here last week, it's actually a completely different
		
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			text.
		
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			There are a number of essays that I
		
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			added to the beginning.
		
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			Some of them were from our teachers overseas,
		
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			alhamdulillah.
		
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			And the first one, I think, is very
		
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			important, because he talks about the role of
		
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			family law in Islamic legal studies.
		
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			Because that's what we're going to be studying.
		
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			We're going to be studying family law.
		
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			And he does something really nice in the
		
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			beginning.
		
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			I'm not going to read it for you.
		
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			He notes that there are different types of
		
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			rulings that you need to be aware of
		
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			within Islamic law.
		
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			First are like doctrinal rulings related to beliefs.
		
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			What makes someone a Muslim?
		
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			What do Muslims have to believe in?
		
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			So that's the study of theology.
		
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			The second are like ethical rulings related to
		
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			virtues, how we care ourselves, morality, things of
		
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			that nature.
		
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			The third are practical rulings, which are going,
		
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			these three actually are going to fall under,
		
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			the third is going to fall under fiqh.
		
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			Fiqh is really the science of action.
		
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			What are the rulings for action?
		
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			So beliefs, morals, and actions, and sometimes they're
		
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			going to overlap, right?
		
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			Sometimes they'll fall sort of together.
		
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			And he notes that under Islamic jurisprudence, we
		
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			have really the following four sort of things
		
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			we want to think about.
		
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			Number one is acts of worship.
		
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			So there were classes here.
		
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			I taught one.
		
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			I think you have a class usually like,
		
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			Maliki fiqh, Hanafi fiqh, Shafi'i fiqh, how
		
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			to pray, things like that.
		
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			Number two, transactions and mu'amalat.
		
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			So how do we buy and sell Bitcoin?
		
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			Purchasing homes, right?
		
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			A lot of things fall under transactions.
		
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			The third is public policy or siyasa.
		
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			Sharia deals with politics.
		
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			And so what are kind of the things
		
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			we should think about within that context?
		
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			So you have like great scholars who wrote
		
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			just books on like political law from ancient
		
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			times.
		
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			And then the fourth, and this is us,
		
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			is family law.
		
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			That's what we want to focus on the
		
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			four sort of areas of Islamic law.
		
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			That includes the laws that are going to
		
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			help us organize and facilitate family, marriage, the
		
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			laws around divorce, children, inheritance, wills, like it's
		
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			a lot, right?
		
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			So these are the rulings that are included
		
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			under kind of this idea of what's called
		
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			ahwal ash-shaqsiyah.
		
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			And nowadays, this is sort of the term
		
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			that's been used for the last few centuries
		
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			in the Muslim world instead of even Islamic
		
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			jurisprudence.
		
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			They say ahwal ash-shaqsiyah, which is like
		
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			personal status law.
		
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			And that's very important that that term was
		
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			adopted.
		
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			It was adopted at a time when the
		
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			Muslim world began to adopt two laws.
		
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			So it kind of coincides with colonality.
		
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			And Islamic law is slowly being pushed to
		
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			the periphery in society.
		
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			And so in order to recognize this reality,
		
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			jurists, the last really great Sharia court was
		
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			shut down in 1955 by Abdel Nasser.
		
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			There's a great book by Judith Tucker, if
		
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			you want to read it, from Georgetown, about
		
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			sort of Islamic law and Palestine and like
		
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			women's education.
		
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			It's really interesting in how like advanced courts
		
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			were in the late Ottoman period.
		
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			Because you're looking at like 1300 years of
		
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			doing this.
		
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			It wasn't like they were like Judge Judy,
		
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			man.
		
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			Like they had put a lot of time,
		
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			effort, pain, sorrow, success, failure.
		
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			Islamic law is moving.
		
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			It's not like, it's not an abstraction.
		
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			It's dealing with the world.
		
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			So around that time when you have these
		
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			kind of multiple laws coming in under sort
		
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			of occupation of the Muslim world, there's a
		
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			term that comes out called ahwal.
		
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			Ahwal, like if you study tasawwuf, hal, kayfa,
		
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			haluk, ahwal, conditions, states, situations.
		
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			Here it doesn't mean the interstate as it
		
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			would in tasawwuf, shaksia, but it means like
		
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			person situation and how the law impacts that
		
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			situation.
		
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			And that's why I think it's very important
		
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			that when you study fiqh in America, you
		
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			study with someone that studied modern fiqh.
		
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			The anachronistic attitude of Western Muslims makes absolutely
		
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			no sense to me.
		
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			And I'm someone who had to master the
		
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			classics and memorize them.
		
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			And I'm telling you that because do you
		
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			wanna study a law as we're going to
		
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			see that was 600 years ago?
		
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			Or do you wanna study the culmination of
		
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			that law over generations, times, historical realities, political
		
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			realities, economic realities?
		
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			And if you think about it, ahwal shaksia
		
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			is recognizing that Muslims may be living under
		
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			a secular Muslim regime and struggling to maintain
		
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			a commitment to sharia.
		
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			That's more relevant to you here than at
		
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			a time where the Muslims were powerful and
		
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			running everything.
		
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			And so just by running back to the
		
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			classics, you may miss that nuance in legal
		
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			studies that recognize the fact that we have
		
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			duality.
		
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			We have Islamic state, now we have Islamic
		
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			state of mind.
		
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			And so you wanna be a little bit
		
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			careful.
		
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			And I'm not trying to attack anyone.
		
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			I just think we should be academically critical
		
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			of this as we'll see hopefully today.
		
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			And so I added a section where they
		
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			talk about ahwal shaksia, personal status law, its
		
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			development, how it happened.
		
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			My experience was in Egypt.
		
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			I can talk about the Egyptian historical sort
		
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			of trajectory of ahwal shaksia.
		
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			And in some ways you find academics in
		
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			the Azhar are far more advanced and progressive
		
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			than practitioners of fiqh in America because of
		
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			the anachronism.
		
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			Theology, you don't find the same debates.
		
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			Like mawlid, people don't even find about mawlid.
		
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			It's here, why y'all?
		
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			Because we're trying to regurgitate classic stuff.
		
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			We've romanticized it.
		
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			But what's the ruling on living in a
		
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			neighborhood if you're a gentrifier?
		
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			That's the fiqh I think we should be
		
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			talking about.
		
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			It's not just like, well, back in the
		
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			days we had like dinars and there was
		
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			no inflation.
		
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			Wow, okay.
		
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			I appreciate that.
		
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			That's certainly like, that's like the orange dye
		
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			on the biryani.
		
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			You know, it's nice.
		
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			It looks good.
		
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			It makes sense.
		
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			Yeah, yeah, it makes sense.
		
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			But it ain't the biryani.
		
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			It's not the chicken.
		
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			And so I've added some essays here.
		
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			You don't have to, don't, like if you
		
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			want to, it's great.
		
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			You can read every single line, mashallah, if
		
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			you have that kind of time.
		
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			But I would encourage you to look over
		
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			it just to think about it.
		
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			If you're from India, there's a lot of
		
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			sort of similarities what happens in India and
		
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			Egypt in some ways, as well as in
		
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			places in Africa where they're French like Senegal.
		
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			My teacher's grandfather was a mufti of Senegal
		
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			before.
		
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			So there's like these experiences that you're gonna
		
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			find sort of like commonality.
		
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			To them, Algeria is a great place to
		
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			think about as well.
		
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			So that takes us now to the text.
		
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			Actually, the text we're doing was my textbook
		
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			in the Ezhar.
		
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			So with the help of Chat GBT, I
		
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			translated that joint, man, you know?
		
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			I went back and edited it, so don't
		
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			worry.
		
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			I'm not that lazy, but I can't lie.
		
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			There was a few times where I was
		
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			like, ah.
		
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			Then I looked at it, I was like,
		
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			nope.
		
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			Chat GPT has some problems.
		
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			Chat GPT needs to come to class.
		
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			But hopefully, like imagine, like you'll take an
		
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			introductory university textbook, start at the Ezhar, you
		
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			know, covering sort of family law, this component
		
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			of family law that deals with marriage.
		
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			That's important, that's a big deal, man.
		
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			Like that's a very big deal.
		
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			Alhamdulillah, wa bilahi tawfiq.
		
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			So we'll sort of review some of the
		
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			things we talked about last week, and we'll
		
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			add some things, and then we'll be done,
		
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			inshallah.
		
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			And what we're talking about is nikah.
		
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			And the reason I started with that introduction
		
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			is I want you to appreciate like you're
		
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			studying, when you're studying this book, you're studying
		
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			this kind of, these new developments.
		
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			You're not studying something that's archaic.
		
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			That's the point I'm making.
		
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			So when you're studying like at Ezhar, you
		
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			learn the classics in middle school.
		
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			That's Hogwarts, right?
		
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			But then in the university, you're not learning
		
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			the classics.
		
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			I remember the first day I sat there,
		
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			we studied istinsekh, cloning.
		
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			I was like, what?
		
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			Like, dang, man, this is hard, you know?
		
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			Because I couldn't find the vocabulary in Arabic,
		
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			even legal vocabulary to like deal with T
		
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			-cells, cloning, cybercrime, you know?
		
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			And I was like, wow, this is cool.
		
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			This is like, this is what I want,
		
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			man.
		
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			So I think there's an opportunity for you
		
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			to be critical and also inspired.
		
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			It doesn't mean everything in the book is
		
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			right.
		
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			They're gonna say some things at times you
		
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			don't agree with, that's good.
		
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			That means you're paying attention.
		
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			Like I'm not here to force you to
		
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			like do anything.
		
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			I really, I say I don't care how
		
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			you live your life, right, honestly, in a
		
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			sense of God bless you, but I'm not
		
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			up in your business like that, right?
		
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			I got four kids.
		
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			So all my energy is really taken already,
		
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			but I wish everyone the best when I
		
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			say, ehdina al-surat al-mustaqeem.
		
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			That's all I can give you right now,
		
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			man, you know?
		
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			So nikah in the Arabic language, as I
		
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			mentioned last week, the word nakah means to
		
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			bring together.
		
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			The idea is literally, literally it means *.
		
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			Metaphorically it has this meaning of sort of
		
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			bringing two entities together.
		
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			It also denotes gathering, combining, and intertwining.
		
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			We said entanglements, right?
		
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			The primary linguistic application of nikah refers to
		
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			*.
		
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			What it means here is linguistically, like how
		
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			the Arabs used the word.
		
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			Fa ankahna al-firara.
		
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			You know, the old Arabs said like we
		
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			bred the donkeys.
		
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			Ankahna from nakah.
		
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			But it also has a metaphoric application which
		
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			means marriage, this union.
		
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			And I mentioned to you last week the
		
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			pre-modern sort of post-modern notion like
		
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			Islam is a motherlode of bad ideas.
		
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			Everyone's hyper-literal.
		
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			But most of the definitions that you find
		
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			in Islamic law are metaphor.
		
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			So immediately you appreciate the fact that these
		
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			guys aren't like, or these women aren't just
		
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			like, yeah, letter of the law.
		
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			Most of the definitions, as we'll talk about
		
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			today, this is an important discussion that will
		
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			have a rhetoric, a rhetorical meaning, not the
		
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			literal meaning.
		
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			But let's kind of examine some of the
		
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			discussions around it.
		
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			So some scholars argued, and I actually put
		
00:11:32 --> 00:11:34
			it in numbers for you, like 1.2,
		
00:11:34 --> 00:11:35
			1.3, so later on when there's an
		
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			index, you can just like pow, right, you
		
00:11:37 --> 00:11:38
			can go back.
		
00:11:39 --> 00:11:41
			You're not lost in the sea of this
		
00:11:41 --> 00:11:41
			text.
		
00:11:42 --> 00:11:44
			So some scholars argue that nikah is primarily
		
00:11:44 --> 00:11:46
			used to mean * and is only metaphorically
		
00:11:46 --> 00:11:47
			applied to the contract.
		
00:11:47 --> 00:11:49
			This is like Ibn Hazm, of course, the
		
00:11:49 --> 00:11:50
			Zahiri school, right?
		
00:11:50 --> 00:11:54
			They're the literalists from Andalus, from Majorca specifically,
		
00:11:55 --> 00:11:57
			Ibn Hazm, rahimahullah.
		
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			He wasn't Sunni, he was Zahiri.
		
00:12:00 --> 00:12:02
			They have their own school that basically says
		
00:12:02 --> 00:12:06
			there is no interpretation, and there's no analogy.
		
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			And I gave you an example, the Arabs
		
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			say, an-kahna al-firaar, al-firaa, fasa
		
00:12:17 --> 00:12:17
			naraa.
		
00:12:17 --> 00:12:19
			Like we bred these donkeys, so let's see
		
00:12:19 --> 00:12:20
			what happens.
		
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			The phrase also takes on a metaphoric usage
		
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			when we talk about it, meaning aqid, contract.
		
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			So the point is there's this debate, like
		
00:12:31 --> 00:12:32
			when you get into some of the bigger
		
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			texts and writings of the older OGs, they're
		
00:12:36 --> 00:12:38
			going back and forth on this issue.
		
00:12:38 --> 00:12:39
			Is it metaphor, is it literal?
		
00:12:39 --> 00:12:41
			Is it literal, is it metaphor?
		
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			But it's safe to say that only one
		
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			place in the Quran does the word nikah
		
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			have the meaning of *.
		
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			And that's verse 230 from Surah al-Baqarah.
		
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			Hatta tankihu, tankiha zawjin ghayra.
		
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			Which here means until he has * with
		
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			someone else, until she has * with someone
		
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			else, excuse me.
		
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			Even the translation, no offense, it says until
		
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			she marries another husband.
		
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			That's not what it means here.
		
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			Here it means that the context is that
		
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			she has been divorced more than three times
		
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			by that man, so before she can return
		
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			to that man, she would be to be
		
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			married to someone else and actually have a
		
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			physical relationship with that person.
		
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			So there's a very strong proof, while the
		
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			Quran itself is using it over and over
		
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			again with the meaning of contract.
		
00:13:28 --> 00:13:29
			That's the argument here.
		
00:13:29 --> 00:13:30
			That's how they're boxing.
		
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			Like only once does it carry this meaning.
		
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			So legal scholars are gonna say, well, we're
		
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			going to be an extension of the Quran
		
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			as a living law, so we're going to
		
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			stick to the majority usage of the Quran.
		
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			That's sort of their argument.
		
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			Also the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he
		
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			said, you know, kharashtu min nikahin.
		
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			I was, you know, came from marriage.
		
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			I wasn't the product of adultery, sallallahu alayhi
		
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			wa sallam.
		
00:13:58 --> 00:14:00
			You need to look at the footnotes, by
		
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			the way.
		
00:14:00 --> 00:14:01
			There's a lot of good stuff in the
		
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			footnotes that I put there for you, especially
		
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			on some of the contemporary questions that people
		
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			have.
		
00:14:07 --> 00:14:08
			Nikah, and it's, so that's like the linguistic
		
00:14:08 --> 00:14:09
			argument, right?
		
00:14:09 --> 00:14:10
			Does it have this meaning?
		
00:14:10 --> 00:14:11
			Does it have that meaning?
		
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			That's going to extend now into legal nomenclature.
		
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			How do legal scholars define nikah?
		
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			With the literal meaning or the metaphoric meaning?
		
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			I sort of gave you the answer already.
		
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			So many jurists have defined it nikah.
		
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			When they use the word nikah, they mean
		
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			aqid.
		
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			They don't mean *.
		
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			They mean the marriage contract that allows the
		
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			lawful enjoyment of one another legitimately.
		
00:14:35 --> 00:14:38
			Alternatively, and be patient, it has also been
		
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			described as a contract that grants ownership of
		
00:14:40 --> 00:14:41
			a woman for sexual pleasure.
		
00:14:43 --> 00:14:44
			Why would I put that there?
		
00:14:44 --> 00:14:46
			So you can learn to be constructively critical
		
00:14:46 --> 00:14:49
			of the tradition and not simply just romanticize
		
00:14:49 --> 00:14:49
			the tradition.
		
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			Ain't no woman, I would think, in this
		
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			room letting you get married with that verbiage.
		
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			I'm a daddy of four girls.
		
00:14:58 --> 00:14:59
			Three girls, sorry.
		
00:15:00 --> 00:15:00
			Sometimes I forget.
		
00:15:03 --> 00:15:04
			It's a lot, man.
		
00:15:05 --> 00:15:06
			23 to two, man.
		
00:15:09 --> 00:15:10
			Alhamdulillah.
		
00:15:10 --> 00:15:11
			But I'm just saying, like, if you came
		
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			to me, you're like, yeah, this is the
		
00:15:13 --> 00:15:15
			marriage contract, and I read that, I'd be
		
00:15:15 --> 00:15:17
			like, it's nice to meet you, bruh.
		
00:15:19 --> 00:15:20
			With all respect, like, we need to sit
		
00:15:20 --> 00:15:21
			down.
		
00:15:21 --> 00:15:22
			We need to have a conversation.
		
00:15:23 --> 00:15:25
			But it's very important to appreciate the Islamic
		
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			law, and this is a challenge I have
		
00:15:26 --> 00:15:30
			sometimes with Islamophobes, is that Islamic law, it's
		
00:15:30 --> 00:15:30
			a story, too.
		
00:15:31 --> 00:15:32
			Like, it's a development.
		
00:15:32 --> 00:15:33
			It's an environment.
		
00:15:33 --> 00:15:34
			It's a world.
		
00:15:34 --> 00:15:35
			It's economy.
		
00:15:35 --> 00:15:36
			It's politics.
		
00:15:36 --> 00:15:37
			It's history.
		
00:15:37 --> 00:15:37
			It's race.
		
00:15:37 --> 00:15:38
			It's gender.
		
00:15:39 --> 00:15:40
			It's all of those things.
		
00:15:40 --> 00:15:43
			And those attitudes certainly are going to be
		
00:15:43 --> 00:15:46
			presented in certain areas of the Islamic legal
		
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			tradition that we should look at constructively and
		
00:15:49 --> 00:15:49
			critically.
		
00:15:49 --> 00:15:51
			We would be foolish not to.
		
00:15:52 --> 00:15:54
			So what I did is I provided the
		
00:15:54 --> 00:15:58
			definitions of nikah according to all four Sunni
		
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			schools.
		
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			I put the citations in the footnotes so
		
00:16:02 --> 00:16:04
			you can check it out for yourself.
		
00:16:05 --> 00:16:07
			So within the Hanafi school, you know it's
		
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			milkum mut'a, ownership of pleasure, meaning that
		
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			the man gains, and no one takes sound
		
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			bites from me, meaning that the man gains
		
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			exclusive rights over the woman's body for enjoyment.
		
00:16:23 --> 00:16:25
			The phrase, I can't do questions, please, because
		
00:16:25 --> 00:16:28
			I got to close this before anyone takes
		
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			it somewhere else.
		
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			No, I was just asking the school for
		
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			followers.
		
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			Oh, Hanafi.
		
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			Hanafi.
		
00:16:33 --> 00:16:34
			Yeah, yeah.
		
00:16:35 --> 00:16:35
			Yo, yo, yeah.
		
00:16:37 --> 00:16:40
			That doesn't mean contemporaries of Hanafi say that
		
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			though, right?
		
00:16:40 --> 00:16:42
			So we're talking about ancient.
		
00:16:43 --> 00:16:44
			Why would I set it up earlier saying,
		
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			listen, we need to not romanticize the past.
		
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			We should respect it.
		
00:16:48 --> 00:16:50
			I believe that the underpinnings of Islamic law
		
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			in this traditional state are what's important.
		
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			How do they maintain law in the Crusades?
		
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			How do they maintain law in the slave
		
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			trade?
		
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			How do they maintain law through success?
		
00:16:59 --> 00:17:02
			That's what I'm more worried about than sort
		
00:17:02 --> 00:17:06
			of the secondary, legal, theoretical opinions.
		
00:17:08 --> 00:17:11
			But that's a different subject, but we'll try
		
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			to get to that.
		
00:17:13 --> 00:17:14
			And also, we don't want to throw the
		
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			baby out with the bathwater.
		
00:17:15 --> 00:17:17
			Again, we want to engage this sort of,
		
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			yeah, I don't agree with that.
		
00:17:19 --> 00:17:21
			That's absolutely atrociously horrible.
		
00:17:21 --> 00:17:22
			Okay, next, right?
		
00:17:23 --> 00:17:24
			And let me work through some things.
		
00:17:24 --> 00:17:29
			I think sometimes the reason Muslims themselves gain
		
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			a frustration towards Islam is they're not given
		
00:17:31 --> 00:17:34
			a place to address their legitimate frustrations.
		
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			So it's just, I'm mad, I'm out.
		
00:17:37 --> 00:17:39
			Because nobody will listen to me.
		
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			And so I think there's like a, as
		
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			someone who became Muslim, there's sort of like
		
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			a middle area that wrestling has to happen.
		
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			Meaning that the man gains exclusive rights over
		
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			the woman's body for enjoyment.
		
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			The phrase with intent is used to distinguish
		
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			from cases where the right to pleasure is
		
00:17:59 --> 00:18:00
			incidental.
		
00:18:00 --> 00:18:03
			Maybe it happened on accident, or it was
		
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			a crime.
		
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			God protect us.
		
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			And we'll talk about * in the future.
		
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			Such as when purchasing a female slave, where
		
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			the contract of sale implies the permissibility of
		
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			* as a secondary result.
		
00:18:15 --> 00:18:17
			I'm just reading to you the opinion again.
		
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			So we're gonna walk through this.
		
00:18:20 --> 00:18:23
			Definition according to the Maliki school, they define
		
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			nikah as a contract for the mere enjoyment
		
00:18:26 --> 00:18:29
			of physical pleasure between an eligible man and
		
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			woman.
		
00:18:30 --> 00:18:32
			This emphasizes that marriage is primarily about a
		
00:18:32 --> 00:18:35
			contract for physical pleasure devoid of any other
		
00:18:35 --> 00:18:35
			considerations.
		
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			Ouch.
		
00:18:38 --> 00:18:40
			Definition according to the Shafi'i school, the
		
00:18:40 --> 00:18:43
			Shafi'i scholars define nikah as a contract
		
00:18:43 --> 00:18:46
			that grants ownership of sexual relations using the
		
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			term ankah, or inkah, or tazweej, which means
		
00:18:51 --> 00:18:54
			to bring together a couple, or their equivalents.
		
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			This means the contract entails the right to
		
00:18:57 --> 00:18:59
			derive pleasure in a known and lawful manner.
		
00:19:01 --> 00:19:04
			Definition according to the Hanbali school, the Hanbali
		
00:19:04 --> 00:19:06
			jurists define nikah, I should say ancient, ancient,
		
00:19:07 --> 00:19:07
			ancient, ancient, right?
		
00:19:08 --> 00:19:10
			As a contract that requires the use of
		
00:19:10 --> 00:19:13
			the terms ankah, or tazweej, in general, where
		
00:19:13 --> 00:19:15
			the subject of the contract is the lawful
		
00:19:15 --> 00:19:16
			enjoyment of one another.
		
00:19:17 --> 00:19:20
			This is an excellent example of a case
		
00:19:20 --> 00:19:22
			for fiqh revival.
		
00:19:22 --> 00:19:23
			You hear all the time people talking about,
		
00:19:23 --> 00:19:25
			we need to revive this, we need to
		
00:19:25 --> 00:19:27
			revive this, and I'm gonna walk you through
		
00:19:27 --> 00:19:29
			it so you can maybe see and appreciate
		
00:19:30 --> 00:19:32
			how jurists didn't just say, yeah, this is
		
00:19:32 --> 00:19:33
			awesome, okay.
		
00:19:35 --> 00:19:37
			People read this, and that's how you can
		
00:19:37 --> 00:19:40
			tell someone's trained in at least Islamic law.
		
00:19:40 --> 00:19:44
			They're very critical, but not in a destructive
		
00:19:44 --> 00:19:44
			way.
		
00:19:45 --> 00:19:47
			They're critical to bring khair, like they're trying
		
00:19:47 --> 00:19:50
			to be critical to navigate, and how they
		
00:19:50 --> 00:19:53
			define goodness is like it aligns with revelation.
		
00:19:53 --> 00:19:55
			Like if we were to take Surah Al
		
00:19:55 --> 00:19:57
			-Rum, verse 21, where Allah says, from His
		
00:19:57 --> 00:20:00
			signs is He made for you wives and
		
00:20:00 --> 00:20:02
			spouses, so that you could find tranquility in
		
00:20:02 --> 00:20:04
			each other and experience mercy and love.
		
00:20:05 --> 00:20:07
			Where does that align under any of these
		
00:20:07 --> 00:20:08
			definitions?
		
00:20:11 --> 00:20:13
			Or when the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wa sallam,
		
00:20:13 --> 00:20:15
			has said, istawsu bi nisa'i khaira, like
		
00:20:15 --> 00:20:16
			be good to your wives.
		
00:20:18 --> 00:20:19
			He said, you know, be good to your
		
00:20:19 --> 00:20:19
			husbands.
		
00:20:21 --> 00:20:24
			We need to, again, we're not thinking critically
		
00:20:24 --> 00:20:26
			just to think critically, we're thinking critically through
		
00:20:26 --> 00:20:28
			the lens of wahi, revelation.
		
00:20:29 --> 00:20:31
			And so here's what my professor wrote.
		
00:20:32 --> 00:20:33
			I added it here.
		
00:20:33 --> 00:20:35
			He said, it is evident from these definitions
		
00:20:35 --> 00:20:37
			that marriage grants the husband's rights, he's talking
		
00:20:37 --> 00:20:41
			about those definitions, so over his wife's body.
		
00:20:41 --> 00:20:46
			However, contemporary legal thought suggests a more balanced
		
00:20:46 --> 00:20:51
			understanding of marriage, defining it as a mutual
		
00:20:51 --> 00:20:54
			contract between a man and a woman, intended
		
00:20:54 --> 00:20:57
			for the mutual enjoyment of each other, as
		
00:20:57 --> 00:20:59
			well as the formation of a righteous family
		
00:20:59 --> 00:21:00
			and a sound society.
		
00:21:00 --> 00:21:01
			I can roll with that.
		
00:21:03 --> 00:21:05
			And so here we see the example of,
		
00:21:06 --> 00:21:08
			we have to be very careful of labeling
		
00:21:08 --> 00:21:13
			people like modernists and sellouts and changing the
		
00:21:13 --> 00:21:13
			deen.
		
00:21:13 --> 00:21:15
			That's not changing the deen, that's changing a
		
00:21:15 --> 00:21:17
			tradition that we find problematic.
		
00:21:18 --> 00:21:20
			And it's not, qala Allah, qala Rasulullah.
		
00:21:20 --> 00:21:22
			It's a faqih, it's a person.
		
00:21:22 --> 00:21:25
			Like you and I, they had the same
		
00:21:25 --> 00:21:28
			challenges, the same mistakes that we all make.
		
00:21:29 --> 00:21:32
			And so commenting, here's what my teacher wrote
		
00:21:32 --> 00:21:35
			in the college, this is a superior definition.
		
00:21:35 --> 00:21:38
			Because the purpose of nikah is not limited
		
00:21:38 --> 00:21:38
			to mere enjoyment.
		
00:21:39 --> 00:21:43
			I mean, anyone that's married knows that's just
		
00:21:43 --> 00:21:45
			a very small part of your relationship and
		
00:21:45 --> 00:21:46
			marriage, right?
		
00:21:47 --> 00:21:49
			It also, as one OG Muslim told me
		
00:21:49 --> 00:21:51
			in Masjid Muhammad, I fight with my wife
		
00:21:51 --> 00:21:52
			more than I enjoy my wife.
		
00:21:53 --> 00:21:56
			I said, wow, man, glad I didn't hear
		
00:21:56 --> 00:21:57
			that before.
		
00:21:58 --> 00:22:00
			But then I said, what does that mean?
		
00:22:00 --> 00:22:04
			He said, no, like we learn to engage
		
00:22:04 --> 00:22:05
			respectfully.
		
00:22:06 --> 00:22:06
			It's part of life.
		
00:22:07 --> 00:22:09
			It also encompasses this definition, the higher objective
		
00:22:09 --> 00:22:11
			of building a righteous family.
		
00:22:11 --> 00:22:13
			And I think also achieving happiness, like none
		
00:22:13 --> 00:22:15
			of them mentioned this, but I think happiness
		
00:22:15 --> 00:22:18
			is very important in a marriage.
		
00:22:18 --> 00:22:20
			I love my wife.
		
00:22:20 --> 00:22:21
			I love my kids.
		
00:22:21 --> 00:22:23
			Like I enjoy being awake at three o
		
00:22:23 --> 00:22:25
			'clock in the morning to my daughter acting
		
00:22:25 --> 00:22:26
			like she's possessed.
		
00:22:27 --> 00:22:29
			Yeah, she's screaming, she goes through this phase
		
00:22:29 --> 00:22:29
			where she screams.
		
00:22:31 --> 00:22:33
			And it's so, I'm like three ghouls like
		
00:22:33 --> 00:22:34
			400 times, man.
		
00:22:34 --> 00:22:35
			So terrifying.
		
00:22:35 --> 00:22:37
			And fostering a healthy society.
		
00:22:37 --> 00:22:39
			Both spouses are meant to benefit from one
		
00:22:39 --> 00:22:41
			another, not just a husband.
		
00:22:41 --> 00:22:44
			Highlighting the necessity of modernizing, I would say,
		
00:22:45 --> 00:22:47
			you know, maybe another word, or our approach
		
00:22:47 --> 00:22:48
			to the issue.
		
00:22:49 --> 00:22:51
			This reflects our need for renewal in understanding
		
00:22:51 --> 00:22:55
			the classical definition of marriage, particularly women's roles
		
00:22:55 --> 00:22:56
			and men's roles.
		
00:22:57 --> 00:22:59
			While sexual relations are one of the goals
		
00:22:59 --> 00:23:01
			of marriage, they are not its sole purpose.
		
00:23:02 --> 00:23:03
			Thus, some have defined marriage, and then he
		
00:23:03 --> 00:23:07
			shared with us this definition, the lawful companionship
		
00:23:07 --> 00:23:08
			between a man and a woman.
		
00:23:08 --> 00:23:10
			I have a problem with sexualizing it that
		
00:23:10 --> 00:23:11
			way, right?
		
00:23:11 --> 00:23:13
			No doubt, that's an outcome of marriage.
		
00:23:13 --> 00:23:14
			Alhamdulillah, it's a great thing.
		
00:23:14 --> 00:23:17
			We're protected from, you know, falling in haram.
		
00:23:17 --> 00:23:19
			We find a very special relationship with a
		
00:23:19 --> 00:23:22
			person that goes beyond, you know, anything else.
		
00:23:22 --> 00:23:24
			But that's not marriage.
		
00:23:25 --> 00:23:27
			It's part of marriage.
		
00:23:27 --> 00:23:30
			The lawful companionship between a man and a
		
00:23:30 --> 00:23:33
			woman and their cooperation, which outlines their mutual
		
00:23:33 --> 00:23:35
			rights and obligations.
		
00:23:35 --> 00:23:38
			So I added these definitions there so you
		
00:23:38 --> 00:23:40
			can, but what I want you to think
		
00:23:40 --> 00:23:44
			about is the importance of contemporary scholarship.
		
00:23:44 --> 00:23:47
			Because without it, people will leave the deen.
		
00:23:48 --> 00:23:50
			Like some people will read that and never,
		
00:23:50 --> 00:23:52
			I can't handle this, right?
		
00:23:52 --> 00:23:55
			And you know, if they're thinking in the
		
00:23:55 --> 00:24:00
			light of the Quran, and they wouldn't be,
		
00:24:00 --> 00:24:02
			you know, off in their critique.
		
00:24:02 --> 00:24:03
			Their reaction may be off.
		
00:24:04 --> 00:24:06
			But if a community is not there to
		
00:24:06 --> 00:24:08
			help people navigate this stuff, they have no
		
00:24:08 --> 00:24:08
			right to complain.
		
00:24:08 --> 00:24:10
			You can't blame the sick people if you
		
00:24:10 --> 00:24:10
			close a hospital.
		
00:24:12 --> 00:24:14
			And throughout history, scholars did this, you know.
		
00:24:17 --> 00:24:20
			I mean, it's just thousands of examples of
		
00:24:20 --> 00:24:22
			this constant need to update, to review, to
		
00:24:22 --> 00:24:25
			be contributive and to be critical.
		
00:24:26 --> 00:24:28
			You know, Sheikh Ahmed Dardir in the Mariki
		
00:24:28 --> 00:24:30
			Madhhab, he wrote the most important book for
		
00:24:30 --> 00:24:31
			us in law.
		
00:24:32 --> 00:24:36
			And he said, مُبَدِّلًا غَيْرًا الْمُعْتَمِدْ مِنْهُ بِهِ
		
00:24:36 --> 00:24:39
			He said, you know, like, I'm taking this
		
00:24:39 --> 00:24:41
			classic, massive legal book and I'm gonna change
		
00:24:41 --> 00:24:44
			what's wrong in it and readdress it.
		
00:24:45 --> 00:24:47
			And so that's why Khalil, you know, his
		
00:24:47 --> 00:24:51
			book is 62 chapters, 63 sections that he
		
00:24:51 --> 00:24:52
			took.
		
00:24:53 --> 00:24:55
			Sheikh Dardir takes that book and shrinks it
		
00:24:55 --> 00:24:58
			into 77 chapters and 59 sections.
		
00:24:59 --> 00:25:01
			And one of the things that he deals
		
00:25:01 --> 00:25:02
			with largely are definitions.
		
00:25:03 --> 00:25:03
			Why?
		
00:25:03 --> 00:25:04
			Because his time is different.
		
00:25:05 --> 00:25:07
			He comes way after the other writer.
		
00:25:07 --> 00:25:08
			There's a book in the Mariki Madhhab called
		
00:25:08 --> 00:25:09
			Muqtad Shul Khalil.
		
00:25:09 --> 00:25:10
			It's like our book.
		
00:25:11 --> 00:25:11
			That's our jam.
		
00:25:12 --> 00:25:16
			Senegal, Mali, Gambia, Morocco, they're memorizing that.
		
00:25:16 --> 00:25:18
			Egypt, we memorize it.
		
00:25:18 --> 00:25:19
			It's massive.
		
00:25:19 --> 00:25:20
			The French, they took it and based their
		
00:25:20 --> 00:25:21
			law on it.
		
00:25:21 --> 00:25:22
			Napoleon stole it from Egypt.
		
00:25:24 --> 00:25:27
			And it was considered like, you can't touch
		
00:25:27 --> 00:25:27
			this book.
		
00:25:28 --> 00:25:30
			Then a Dardir from Egypt comes and he's
		
00:25:30 --> 00:25:31
			like, no.
		
00:25:32 --> 00:25:34
			And he changes it and he adapts it
		
00:25:34 --> 00:25:35
			and he writes why.
		
00:25:35 --> 00:25:39
			He mentions brilliantly like, arjah al-aqawi, like
		
00:25:39 --> 00:25:40
			sometimes the opinions aren't the strongest.
		
00:25:41 --> 00:25:43
			Sometimes he restricts something that should be left
		
00:25:43 --> 00:25:43
			open legally.
		
00:25:44 --> 00:25:46
			Sometimes he opens something that should have been
		
00:25:46 --> 00:25:47
			left restricted linguistically.
		
00:25:47 --> 00:25:48
			He goes all through it.
		
00:25:48 --> 00:25:51
			The point is, he did what we're talking
		
00:25:51 --> 00:25:51
			about.
		
00:25:52 --> 00:25:53
			This is before modernity, so you can't call
		
00:25:53 --> 00:25:54
			him a modernist.
		
00:25:56 --> 00:25:58
			Ibn al-Malik, the great poet, the great
		
00:25:58 --> 00:26:00
			scholar of language, he wrote a poem, we
		
00:26:00 --> 00:26:03
			memorized it in the high school, called Al
		
00:26:03 --> 00:26:04
			-Fiyat al-Bimarik.
		
00:26:04 --> 00:26:05
			It's a thousand lines of poetry.
		
00:26:06 --> 00:26:07
			It's nice.
		
00:26:07 --> 00:26:09
			It's really so beautiful, alhamdulillah.
		
00:26:10 --> 00:26:12
			But he actually wrote that poem, critical of
		
00:26:12 --> 00:26:13
			someone named Ibn al-Mu'ti.
		
00:26:13 --> 00:26:15
			Ibn al-Mu'ti came before him.
		
00:26:15 --> 00:26:16
			They say he's the first one to write
		
00:26:16 --> 00:26:19
			a thousand lines of poetry in the grammar.
		
00:26:20 --> 00:26:20
			Just grammar.
		
00:26:22 --> 00:26:24
			So Ibn al-Malik, when he first wrote
		
00:26:24 --> 00:26:27
			his poem, he put him on blast.
		
00:26:28 --> 00:26:30
			Like that poem's not like us.
		
00:26:31 --> 00:26:33
			Honestly, like it had that kind of impact.
		
00:26:33 --> 00:26:34
			Like it was bad.
		
00:26:34 --> 00:26:35
			It was so bad.
		
00:26:36 --> 00:26:37
			Ibn al-Mu'ti was done.
		
00:26:38 --> 00:26:39
			And then Ibn al-Malik, he said, I
		
00:26:39 --> 00:26:40
			had a dream.
		
00:26:40 --> 00:26:41
			I heard this from Shaykh Imar Iffat.
		
00:26:42 --> 00:26:43
			If you know who Shaykh Imar Iffat was,
		
00:26:43 --> 00:26:45
			he's the Shaykh who was killed in the
		
00:26:45 --> 00:26:46
			Egyptian revolution.
		
00:26:46 --> 00:26:47
			That was my teacher.
		
00:26:47 --> 00:26:48
			He taught me Al-Fiyat.
		
00:26:49 --> 00:26:49
			Allah yurham.
		
00:26:51 --> 00:26:53
			And so he told us that Ibn al
		
00:26:53 --> 00:26:55
			-Malik, he got writer's block, man.
		
00:26:55 --> 00:26:57
			Like after he wrote the bars where he
		
00:26:57 --> 00:27:00
			was attacking Ibn al-Mu'ti, he got writer's
		
00:27:00 --> 00:27:01
			block.
		
00:27:02 --> 00:27:04
			And he's a polymath.
		
00:27:04 --> 00:27:06
			Ibn al-Malik is the teacher of Nawawi
		
00:27:06 --> 00:27:07
			in Arabic.
		
00:27:09 --> 00:27:10
			So he gets writer's block.
		
00:27:10 --> 00:27:12
			And then he begins to write like, what
		
00:27:12 --> 00:27:13
			happened to me, man?
		
00:27:14 --> 00:27:15
			And he's stuck at the line where he's
		
00:27:15 --> 00:27:18
			like, that stuff was horrible or whatever he
		
00:27:18 --> 00:27:19
			said about him, I forgot.
		
00:27:20 --> 00:27:21
			Then he said he had a dream.
		
00:27:21 --> 00:27:22
			And in his dream, this guy came.
		
00:27:22 --> 00:27:24
			He had a big beard and a turban.
		
00:27:24 --> 00:27:26
			And he said, he grabbed me.
		
00:27:26 --> 00:27:27
			He started shaking me.
		
00:27:27 --> 00:27:29
			He said, what's wrong with you?
		
00:27:29 --> 00:27:30
			How dare you insult your elders?
		
00:27:30 --> 00:27:32
			How dare you insult your elders?
		
00:27:33 --> 00:27:35
			And then Ibn al-Malik was like, hey
		
00:27:35 --> 00:27:36
			man, who are you?
		
00:27:36 --> 00:27:38
			He's like, I'm Ibn al-Mu'ti, the guy
		
00:27:38 --> 00:27:39
			you wrote the lines about.
		
00:27:40 --> 00:27:41
			Until you fix it, you won't be able
		
00:27:41 --> 00:27:42
			to complete it.
		
00:27:43 --> 00:27:44
			So then he woke up.
		
00:27:44 --> 00:27:46
			He said, wa huwa bi shadqin ha'izun
		
00:27:46 --> 00:27:48
			tafdeela mustawji mu thana'i al-jameela wa
		
00:27:48 --> 00:27:51
			allahu yaqdi bihi ba'tin wa fira liwa lahu
		
00:27:51 --> 00:27:53
			fi darajat al-akhira Then he said like,
		
00:27:53 --> 00:27:54
			it's the better book.
		
00:27:54 --> 00:27:55
			He preceded me.
		
00:27:55 --> 00:27:56
			He was amazing.
		
00:27:56 --> 00:27:58
			He's so good.
		
00:27:58 --> 00:27:59
			He's incredible.
		
00:27:59 --> 00:28:03
			And then he said, after I finished, kalamuna
		
00:28:03 --> 00:28:05
			lafthun mufeelun kastaqeem wasmun wa fa'nu thumma
		
00:28:05 --> 00:28:07
			harfun al-kalam He said, I finished the
		
00:28:07 --> 00:28:07
			poem.
		
00:28:09 --> 00:28:11
			But the point is, academic criticism is good.
		
00:28:12 --> 00:28:15
			But shady criticism is where we're thinking is
		
00:28:15 --> 00:28:15
			a problem.
		
00:28:16 --> 00:28:17
			But what I'm trying to show you is
		
00:28:17 --> 00:28:20
			like, throughout history, the 40 hadith of Nawi,
		
00:28:20 --> 00:28:21
			how many of you have that book in
		
00:28:21 --> 00:28:21
			your house?
		
00:28:21 --> 00:28:23
			It's like your parents for sure, right?
		
00:28:24 --> 00:28:25
			Imam Nawi didn't write that.
		
00:28:27 --> 00:28:28
			Sayyidina Imam Nawi, he didn't write that.
		
00:28:29 --> 00:28:32
			He started around hadith, I think he went
		
00:28:32 --> 00:28:37
			from hadith like 13 to like 39.
		
00:28:38 --> 00:28:41
			Before him, Abu Amr al-Salah, he used
		
00:28:41 --> 00:28:43
			to teach a book called Al-Kulliyat, which
		
00:28:43 --> 00:28:45
			was the first 15 hadith.
		
00:28:45 --> 00:28:47
			Then Al-Nawi comes, if I remember correctly,
		
00:28:47 --> 00:28:48
			and he's like, you know what, there's more.
		
00:28:48 --> 00:28:49
			So he adds more.
		
00:28:49 --> 00:28:51
			Then Al-Nawi dies and Al-Hafidh ibn
		
00:28:51 --> 00:28:52
			Rajab, he makes it 40.
		
00:28:52 --> 00:28:54
			Point is that book that everyone thinks 40
		
00:28:54 --> 00:28:57
			hadith, Al-Nawi is the work of engagement,
		
00:28:58 --> 00:29:01
			change, thinking critically, thinking constructively.
		
00:29:01 --> 00:29:06
			This is a constant within the Islamic academic
		
00:29:06 --> 00:29:07
			tradition.
		
00:29:07 --> 00:29:12
			But unfortunately, public intellectuals are not necessarily held
		
00:29:12 --> 00:29:13
			to those standards anymore.
		
00:29:14 --> 00:29:15
			So you could just get online and talk
		
00:29:15 --> 00:29:16
			about red heifers.
		
00:29:18 --> 00:29:20
			Everyone will believe you.
		
00:29:20 --> 00:29:22
			But the process of never said anything about
		
00:29:22 --> 00:29:23
			red heifers.
		
00:29:24 --> 00:29:25
			Like why am I wasting my time with
		
00:29:25 --> 00:29:25
			this?
		
00:29:25 --> 00:29:26
			What I need to worry about is red
		
00:29:26 --> 00:29:26
			bodies.
		
00:29:29 --> 00:29:31
			But there's no way to hold anyone accountable
		
00:29:31 --> 00:29:32
			academically.
		
00:29:33 --> 00:29:35
			And so be careful of ijazat.
		
00:29:35 --> 00:29:36
			Be careful of, oh, I have ijazat from
		
00:29:36 --> 00:29:38
			teachers and books, I never saw them.
		
00:29:38 --> 00:29:39
			I had a sheikh one time, he's like,
		
00:29:39 --> 00:29:42
			I give you ijazat in all 125,000
		
00:29:42 --> 00:29:42
			books I have.
		
00:29:43 --> 00:29:44
			I was like, sheikh, I don't have room
		
00:29:44 --> 00:29:46
			for 125,000 books.
		
00:29:46 --> 00:29:47
			He's like, no, no, I'm just gonna give
		
00:29:47 --> 00:29:47
			it to you there, bye.
		
00:29:48 --> 00:29:50
			I was like, ooh, 125, what?
		
00:29:52 --> 00:29:54
			But what you should ask people when they're
		
00:29:54 --> 00:29:55
			teaching is, where did you study?
		
00:29:56 --> 00:29:57
			Have you studied not only the classics?
		
00:29:57 --> 00:29:58
			Have you studied contemporary?
		
00:29:59 --> 00:29:59
			Have you written?
		
00:30:01 --> 00:30:01
			Have you written?
		
00:30:02 --> 00:30:04
			Were you sitting with people who ask you
		
00:30:04 --> 00:30:05
			to write?
		
00:30:06 --> 00:30:08
			Were you engaged in critically?
		
00:30:09 --> 00:30:11
			Those are questions that's not disrespectful.
		
00:30:11 --> 00:30:14
			That's the height of your trust of a
		
00:30:14 --> 00:30:16
			teacher is you can ask them those questions.
		
00:30:16 --> 00:30:17
			I'm scared of you so much I'm not
		
00:30:17 --> 00:30:20
			saying anything and I hear something absolutely insane
		
00:30:21 --> 00:30:22
			and I lose my mind.
		
00:30:23 --> 00:30:26
			I remember one time in Egypt, there was
		
00:30:26 --> 00:30:30
			a very famous person, Dr. Ali Juma, who
		
00:30:30 --> 00:30:33
			was speaking at the gynecologist syndicate in Egypt
		
00:30:33 --> 00:30:35
			and he said in front of them that
		
00:30:35 --> 00:30:37
			the gestation period of Imam Shafi's mother was
		
00:30:37 --> 00:30:38
			three years.
		
00:30:40 --> 00:30:41
			So these are gynecologists.
		
00:30:43 --> 00:30:46
			And they're all, you know Masris, when they
		
00:30:46 --> 00:30:50
			start going like, drinking the tea and stuff,
		
00:30:50 --> 00:30:51
			something's happening.
		
00:30:52 --> 00:30:53
			The audience, something's going down.
		
00:30:54 --> 00:30:56
			Like, sallu ala rasulullah, you know, you know,
		
00:30:56 --> 00:30:57
			it's like, oh snap.
		
00:30:57 --> 00:30:58
			And then someone raised their hand, they're like,
		
00:30:58 --> 00:31:02
			with respect, I respect you, you're a religious
		
00:31:02 --> 00:31:05
			teacher, I'm sort of in a tough situation
		
00:31:05 --> 00:31:07
			because like, that's impossible.
		
00:31:08 --> 00:31:10
			This is not possible.
		
00:31:10 --> 00:31:11
			It's not possible.
		
00:31:11 --> 00:31:13
			And then they began to argue and then
		
00:31:13 --> 00:31:17
			one of the other teachers, mu'ammams with
		
00:31:17 --> 00:31:19
			the turban, he said, it's in the book,
		
00:31:19 --> 00:31:20
			be quiet.
		
00:31:21 --> 00:31:25
			Right, so that's the kind of people, you
		
00:31:25 --> 00:31:27
			don't really want, it's gonna hurt your religion,
		
00:31:27 --> 00:31:27
			man.
		
00:31:28 --> 00:31:30
			It's gonna lead, in my own experience, it
		
00:31:30 --> 00:31:31
			leads to a crisis.
		
00:31:32 --> 00:31:34
			And I remember I met one of those
		
00:31:34 --> 00:31:36
			people afterwards and I was like, and he
		
00:31:36 --> 00:31:37
			came, like, how do you feel?
		
00:31:37 --> 00:31:38
			He's like, I feel like an idiot.
		
00:31:39 --> 00:31:41
			Because I know this is right, but I
		
00:31:41 --> 00:31:41
			didn't say anything.
		
00:31:42 --> 00:31:44
			But then also, like, these are shuyukh, some
		
00:31:44 --> 00:31:45
			of them, not all of them.
		
00:31:46 --> 00:31:47
			These are people, I thought, I don't trust
		
00:31:47 --> 00:31:48
			them anymore.
		
00:31:48 --> 00:31:49
			Like, I don't feel comfortable.
		
00:31:50 --> 00:31:52
			So these kind of changes that you're seeing
		
00:31:52 --> 00:31:54
			are something that should be there as long
		
00:31:54 --> 00:31:55
			as they're rooted in a system and a
		
00:31:55 --> 00:31:57
			way and a method that can be proven,
		
00:31:57 --> 00:32:00
			a system, as well as in the text.
		
00:32:01 --> 00:32:03
			The basis or the legitimacy for marriage is
		
00:32:03 --> 00:32:05
			found in the Quran, third verse of the
		
00:32:05 --> 00:32:08
			fourth chapter, فَانْكِحُوا مَا تَعْبَرَكُمْ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ Marry
		
00:32:08 --> 00:32:11
			those women that please you.
		
00:32:12 --> 00:32:13
			You find happiness in them, you find joy
		
00:32:13 --> 00:32:14
			in them.
		
00:32:14 --> 00:32:16
			Every verse of Quran like this can also,
		
00:32:16 --> 00:32:18
			as even Rishad, be understood for a woman.
		
00:32:18 --> 00:32:20
			So marry men that please you.
		
00:32:21 --> 00:32:21
			The inverse.
		
00:32:23 --> 00:32:26
			Allah says, وَأَنْكِهُوا لَأَيَامَ مِنْكُمْ مَا الصَّالِحِينَ مَنِ
		
00:32:26 --> 00:32:29
			عِبَادِكُمْ وَإِمَائِكُمْ And marry the unmarried amongst you
		
00:32:29 --> 00:32:31
			and the righteous amongst you, your male slaves
		
00:32:31 --> 00:32:31
			and female slaves.
		
00:32:32 --> 00:32:36
			Surat An-Nur, verse 24, chapter 24, verse
		
00:32:36 --> 00:32:36
			32.
		
00:32:37 --> 00:32:39
			Also from the hadith of the Prophet ﷺ,
		
00:32:39 --> 00:32:41
			we all know the hadith, O young men,
		
00:32:41 --> 00:32:44
			also means, O young women, whoever amongst you
		
00:32:44 --> 00:32:46
			can afford marriage should marry for it is
		
00:32:46 --> 00:32:47
			more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding
		
00:32:47 --> 00:32:49
			one's chastity and whoever is not able should
		
00:32:49 --> 00:32:52
			fast for fasting diminishes sexual desires.
		
00:32:52 --> 00:32:53
			We said for some people it doesn't so
		
00:32:53 --> 00:32:54
			they shouldn't fast.
		
00:32:55 --> 00:32:57
			I had a classmate in college, he would
		
00:32:57 --> 00:32:59
			fast and it was worse for him.
		
00:33:01 --> 00:33:01
			Yeah, so tell him, eat.
		
00:33:04 --> 00:33:06
			Fourth, the wisdom and purpose of marriage.
		
00:33:07 --> 00:33:09
			The primary purpose of marriage.
		
00:33:11 --> 00:33:12
			Go to awful house, man.
		
00:33:14 --> 00:33:15
			Just go eat, bro.
		
00:33:15 --> 00:33:17
			That's the only thing, that's what helped him.
		
00:33:21 --> 00:33:23
			He went to Whataburger, man, it's from the
		
00:33:23 --> 00:33:24
			Midwest.
		
00:33:24 --> 00:33:26
			Whataburger would kill anybody's libido, man.
		
00:33:28 --> 00:33:31
			The primary purpose of marriage is to establish
		
00:33:31 --> 00:33:33
			a social unit.
		
00:33:33 --> 00:33:35
			I don't know if I agree with that.
		
00:33:35 --> 00:33:36
			I would say the primary purpose of marriage
		
00:33:36 --> 00:33:37
			is to be happy.
		
00:33:38 --> 00:33:39
			Awww.
		
00:33:44 --> 00:33:46
			I'm too old for this class, man.
		
00:33:46 --> 00:33:49
			I'm too old for this class.
		
00:33:49 --> 00:33:52
			The primary purpose of marriage is to establish
		
00:33:52 --> 00:33:53
			a social unit and then what I said
		
00:33:53 --> 00:33:55
			earlier that I'm not going to repeat again.
		
00:33:55 --> 00:33:57
			No, I'm just saying like those of us
		
00:33:57 --> 00:33:58
			who are married, we know.
		
00:33:58 --> 00:34:00
			Like, you know, there's a level of happiness
		
00:34:00 --> 00:34:01
			and trust and protection.
		
00:34:01 --> 00:34:03
			هُنَّ لِبَسُوا لَكُمْ وَأَنتُمْ لِبَسُوا لَكُمْ The Qur
		
00:34:03 --> 00:34:05
			'an says, you're garments for one another.
		
00:34:05 --> 00:34:07
			Like, what else do you want, right?
		
00:34:09 --> 00:34:12
			Also, a noble family is founded on mutual
		
00:34:12 --> 00:34:13
			love, cooperation, and moral excellence.
		
00:34:15 --> 00:34:17
			I would say effort.
		
00:34:18 --> 00:34:18
			Excellence is hard.
		
00:34:20 --> 00:34:22
			Marriage is considered one of an individual's most
		
00:34:22 --> 00:34:25
			significant and impactful social institutions.
		
00:34:25 --> 00:34:27
			It is through marriage that a harmonious and
		
00:34:27 --> 00:34:31
			virtuous society is built, ideally, emphasizing the importance
		
00:34:31 --> 00:34:33
			of family life and promoting good character and
		
00:34:33 --> 00:34:34
			maintaining social stability.
		
00:34:34 --> 00:34:37
			But also, man, we have people, if we
		
00:34:37 --> 00:34:38
			had time, we would do it.
		
00:34:38 --> 00:34:40
			Like, you're married, you learn a lot about
		
00:34:40 --> 00:34:41
			how to be more mature.
		
00:34:41 --> 00:34:44
			You learn a lot about how, you know,
		
00:34:44 --> 00:34:47
			how to express yourself, right, how to be
		
00:34:47 --> 00:34:48
			in touch with your emotions.
		
00:34:49 --> 00:34:51
			You know, it's a lot, man.
		
00:34:51 --> 00:34:53
			It's a lot of blessings that come through
		
00:34:53 --> 00:34:54
			marriage, alhamdulillah.
		
00:34:55 --> 00:34:58
			The Prophet ﷺ said, whoever marries has completed
		
00:34:58 --> 00:34:58
			half the religion.
		
00:34:59 --> 00:35:01
			Let them fear Allah and the rest.
		
00:35:01 --> 00:35:03
			And this was the question that you guys
		
00:35:03 --> 00:35:04
			asked me last week, and it's in the
		
00:35:04 --> 00:35:04
			footnotes.
		
00:35:05 --> 00:35:06
			It's under, I think, number 10 and 11.
		
00:35:06 --> 00:35:09
			And that is the famous statement that marriage
		
00:35:09 --> 00:35:09
			is what?
		
00:35:10 --> 00:35:12
			Half your deen.
		
00:35:12 --> 00:35:14
			I know there's a thing called half your
		
00:35:14 --> 00:35:15
			deen, so I don't want him to get
		
00:35:15 --> 00:35:16
			mad at me for this.
		
00:35:16 --> 00:35:18
			But that hadith is weak.
		
00:35:23 --> 00:35:25
			And I put here, is marriage half a
		
00:35:25 --> 00:35:26
			person's religion?
		
00:35:27 --> 00:35:28
			Well, a popular phrase.
		
00:35:28 --> 00:35:30
			Imam Ibn Hajar, he wrote a book called
		
00:35:30 --> 00:35:34
			Popular Hadith Amongst the Masses That Are Absolute
		
00:35:34 --> 00:35:34
			Fabrications.
		
00:35:37 --> 00:35:39
			I think you have to be very careful
		
00:35:39 --> 00:35:40
			nowadays, man.
		
00:35:40 --> 00:35:41
			What, yes?
		
00:35:42 --> 00:35:45
			Yeah, like popular hadith amongst the masses that
		
00:35:45 --> 00:35:47
			are absolutely fabricated.
		
00:35:48 --> 00:35:50
			I'll put it in here.
		
00:35:50 --> 00:35:52
			Like I'll add it, because I thought about
		
00:35:52 --> 00:35:52
			it earlier.
		
00:35:53 --> 00:35:57
			I can't tell you how important it is
		
00:35:57 --> 00:36:00
			to look with an eye of discernment any
		
00:36:00 --> 00:36:04
			meme, anything you've seen online, man.
		
00:36:06 --> 00:36:07
			I'll give an example.
		
00:36:07 --> 00:36:09
			All of the memes that talk about this
		
00:36:09 --> 00:36:12
			is the end of times, right?
		
00:36:12 --> 00:36:15
			Like there's no hajj when COVID happened, right?
		
00:36:15 --> 00:36:17
			Of course, there's going to be no hajj.
		
00:36:18 --> 00:36:21
			It's a health, it's a public health crisis,
		
00:36:22 --> 00:36:22
			right?
		
00:36:22 --> 00:36:24
			So I saw the meme like the hour
		
00:36:24 --> 00:36:26
			will not start until there's no hajj.
		
00:36:26 --> 00:36:29
			And then people start getting scared.
		
00:36:29 --> 00:36:30
			Like, oh my gosh, it's like to hear
		
00:36:30 --> 00:36:32
			after Ghutba if you're from Syria.
		
00:36:33 --> 00:36:36
			Like again, we're talking about this abstraction, but
		
00:36:36 --> 00:36:38
			we're not talking about like Syrians are being
		
00:36:38 --> 00:36:41
			pummeled by everybody, right?
		
00:36:41 --> 00:36:42
			It's like you get lost.
		
00:36:42 --> 00:36:43
			Fiqh isn't going to get lost.
		
00:36:43 --> 00:36:45
			It's like people are being killed.
		
00:36:46 --> 00:36:49
			And that hadith about Ghutba, it's fabricated.
		
00:36:49 --> 00:36:50
			It's a weak hadith anyways.
		
00:36:50 --> 00:36:52
			But the context of all of those hadith
		
00:36:52 --> 00:36:54
			are after Jesus leaves.
		
00:36:57 --> 00:36:58
			Because there's going to be no good people
		
00:36:58 --> 00:37:00
			left because the Prophet ﷺ said in an
		
00:37:00 --> 00:37:03
			authentic hadith, that after that, a short time
		
00:37:03 --> 00:37:06
			later, Allah will cause a breeze to come
		
00:37:06 --> 00:37:08
			and take the souls of all the believers.
		
00:37:08 --> 00:37:11
			And after that, He said, شَرُّ الْخَلْقِ The
		
00:37:11 --> 00:37:14
			worst of creation will be on the earth.
		
00:37:14 --> 00:37:16
			There'll be no hajj because there's no good
		
00:37:16 --> 00:37:17
			people.
		
00:37:18 --> 00:37:20
			And that's why the Prophet ﷺ said, the
		
00:37:20 --> 00:37:22
			hour will not start until Allah's name is
		
00:37:22 --> 00:37:22
			not mentioned.
		
00:37:22 --> 00:37:24
			It's this, that time.
		
00:37:25 --> 00:37:26
			It's not now.
		
00:37:26 --> 00:37:27
			Like, oh man, we're at school.
		
00:37:27 --> 00:37:28
			Nobody's remembering Allah.
		
00:37:28 --> 00:37:31
			The hour is not going to start until...
		
00:37:31 --> 00:37:33
			And actually there's about 50 years of things.
		
00:37:33 --> 00:37:34
			We can do a section on this in
		
00:37:34 --> 00:37:35
			the future on the hereafter.
		
00:37:36 --> 00:37:37
			That have to happen before any of these
		
00:37:37 --> 00:37:38
			things happen.
		
00:37:38 --> 00:37:39
			But when you see these memes, man, it's
		
00:37:39 --> 00:37:40
			evocative.
		
00:37:42 --> 00:37:44
			It can bring like a cathartic vibe because
		
00:37:44 --> 00:37:45
			it's like, oh my gosh.
		
00:37:47 --> 00:37:48
			But that's a disaster.
		
00:37:49 --> 00:37:53
			So just be leery, man, of things.
		
00:37:53 --> 00:37:55
			So, is marriage half a person's deen?
		
00:37:55 --> 00:37:58
			Well, a popular phrase, there's nothing authentically reported
		
00:37:58 --> 00:38:01
			that the Prophet ﷺ actually said, النِكَحْ نِصْفُ
		
00:38:01 --> 00:38:05
			الدِّينِ أو نِصْفُ المِلَّةِ أو نِصْفُ الإسْلَامِ There's
		
00:38:05 --> 00:38:06
			not one authentic statement.
		
00:38:07 --> 00:38:08
			In fact, the only thing we can find
		
00:38:08 --> 00:38:10
			is something that goes back to one of
		
00:38:10 --> 00:38:13
			the early Muslim scholars, Tawus, T-A-W
		
00:38:13 --> 00:38:14
			-U-S, who said this.
		
00:38:14 --> 00:38:16
			And this happens sometimes in history.
		
00:38:17 --> 00:38:18
			Islam is very axiomatic.
		
00:38:19 --> 00:38:20
			So a scholar will say something that's very
		
00:38:20 --> 00:38:21
			axiomatic sounding.
		
00:38:21 --> 00:38:23
			And then after like a few years, it's
		
00:38:23 --> 00:38:25
			like, well, actually the Prophet said it.
		
00:38:25 --> 00:38:26
			And then you're in trouble.
		
00:38:29 --> 00:38:31
			But people hunt that stuff down.
		
00:38:31 --> 00:38:33
			Like our scholars that are not making memes
		
00:38:35 --> 00:38:36
			are telling you, yeah.
		
00:38:36 --> 00:38:38
			And I actually wish they would make memes.
		
00:38:38 --> 00:38:39
			I think that's the other criticism.
		
00:38:39 --> 00:38:40
			Why aren't you making memes with the good
		
00:38:40 --> 00:38:41
			stuff?
		
00:38:42 --> 00:38:44
			Right, because most of the scholars like that
		
00:38:44 --> 00:38:45
			aren't financially supported.
		
00:38:45 --> 00:38:46
			They're not on stage.
		
00:38:46 --> 00:38:47
			They're not great.
		
00:38:47 --> 00:38:49
			They don't have the charismatic kind of style
		
00:38:49 --> 00:38:51
			maybe that's needed.
		
00:38:51 --> 00:38:53
			But they have a lot of fa'idah.
		
00:38:53 --> 00:38:56
			There are a few hadith that state this
		
00:38:56 --> 00:38:58
			in different ways, but there's weaknesses in their
		
00:38:58 --> 00:38:59
			chains of transmission.
		
00:39:00 --> 00:39:01
			I did a quick breakdown.
		
00:39:01 --> 00:39:03
			You can read it for yourself because it's
		
00:39:03 --> 00:39:06
			a lot, but it just shows you that
		
00:39:07 --> 00:39:09
			it's not authentic, man.
		
00:39:09 --> 00:39:11
			Because last week someone asked, like, well, if
		
00:39:11 --> 00:39:12
			I'm not married, it means like half my
		
00:39:12 --> 00:39:12
			deen is not there.
		
00:39:13 --> 00:39:15
			Like, I'm not like I'm a half value
		
00:39:15 --> 00:39:15
			Muslim.
		
00:39:16 --> 00:39:16
			Right.
		
00:39:17 --> 00:39:19
			But also that's not what the hadith means.
		
00:39:22 --> 00:39:23
			I'm rocking at 50 percent.
		
00:39:24 --> 00:39:24
			Yeah.
		
00:39:25 --> 00:39:27
			So Imam al-Ghazal, and I'm so thankful
		
00:39:27 --> 00:39:29
			that you share this way because it means
		
00:39:29 --> 00:39:30
			I'm doing a good job that you feel
		
00:39:30 --> 00:39:33
			comfortable because that's like Imams needs to hear
		
00:39:33 --> 00:39:34
			this stuff, man.
		
00:39:35 --> 00:39:35
			Right.
		
00:39:36 --> 00:39:38
			But Imam al-Ghazali, he said, you know,
		
00:39:38 --> 00:39:40
			the Prophet ﷺ said this because it's like
		
00:39:40 --> 00:39:42
			use it to protect half your deen.
		
00:39:43 --> 00:39:44
			Right.
		
00:39:44 --> 00:39:46
			Like marriage is, because the hadith says, you
		
00:39:46 --> 00:39:50
			know, مَن تَزَوَّجَ فَقَدْ اِسْتَقْمَرَ دِينَهُ فَلْيَتَّقِ اللَّهِ
		
00:39:50 --> 00:39:51
			فِي بَاقِهَا وَكَانَ مَقَارٌ Right.
		
00:39:51 --> 00:39:54
			Like whoever marries has completed their religion then
		
00:39:54 --> 00:39:55
			let them, half their religion, let them fear
		
00:39:55 --> 00:39:56
			Allah and the other half.
		
00:39:57 --> 00:39:59
			Meaning like marriage is helping them stay away
		
00:39:59 --> 00:40:00
			from things.
		
00:40:00 --> 00:40:01
			But the taqwa is still going to be
		
00:40:01 --> 00:40:01
			there.
		
00:40:02 --> 00:40:03
			So it doesn't have to do with the
		
00:40:03 --> 00:40:05
			value, like rock and, what was it?